Chuunibyou - Chapter 2

[bakemonoremy]

Location: Garden Space

Midori: ...Hey, Sengoku-kun, how much farther do we need to go? This is really starting to become a pain…

Shinobu: Err, I suppose we’re fine now that we’ve come this far…?

Lend me your ear for a moment. I don’t want to say this too loudly, but the truth is that I found something incredible.

Midori: Something incredible…? Err, like… a soft tsuchinoko*...or something? If you can’t keep it as a pet, it’s probably best if you put it back where you found it.

Shinobu: Well, it’d certainly be incredible if I had found that. But like, what’s up with that way of thinking?

Midori: I just said the most incredible thing that came to my mind. Was I wrong?

Shinobu: You were wrong~! This! This is what I picked up!

Midori: What’s that… A scroll? “Book of Secrets”....

Shinobu: Isn’t it amazing!? It’s a scroll of secrets!

Midori: So fishy…! I’m in no position to say this after bringing up the tsuchinoko, but don’t you think this is just way too dubious…?

Just look at the writing of the title. It’s written in magic marker. And they didn’t know how to spell “secret”*(2).

Shinobu: Yeah. Using ink is too inconvenient. Even ninjas need to adapt to the changing times and use modern tools.

From flip phones*(3) to smartphones. Ninjas also made the switch from ink to magic marker.

Midori: I’m not buying it…

Shinobu: The fact that they wrote “secret” in hiragana is probably also due to the changing times.

Like this, it’s easier to approach for anyone!

Midori: A ninja who prioritizes approachability is already plenty strange, though..? Aren’t they supposed to conceal*(4) things?

Shinobu: In any case! To me, this is like what it feels like for Midori-kun when his favorite yuru chara is on sale.

Midori: That’s upsetting, don’t compare the two.

Hey, Sengoku-kun. Don’t you think you should put this scroll back where you found it?

Shinobu: What are you saying! There’s a whole bunch of secret ninja arts written in this! There’s no way I could throw away something like that!

Midori: Haa, secret arts…?

Shinobu: Once you see the amazing jutsus written in this, you’ll surely understand what I mean, Midori-kun!

Midori-kun is a friend I can trust! So I have no reservations about showing you the contents of this scroll ♪

Midori: Err… Thanks for trusting me, I guess...? But I’m really not interested… Or rather, I don’t want to read it. If I read it, I’d get involved in this.

Shinobu: Now, now, don’t say that! There’s a lot of jutsus in there that you’ll seldom see anywhere else~. Midori-kun, once you see them you’ll surely be moved deeply! Now, go ahead!

Midori: Wh- stop pushing the scroll into my arms like that... I- I get it already! I’ll read it!

Haa… Sengoku-kun is so pushy, I’m depressed… I can understand getting excited over the things you like, but I wish you wouldn’t get me involved…

Let’s see here… First secret art, “Jutsu of Invisibility”, second secret art, “Jutsu of Summoning”... There’s a lot of different settings in this, huh. This is…

Shinobu: Right, right? Isn’t it amazing? There’s a lot of secret arts written in this that I could’ve only dreamed of!

There’s no mistake about it, this must surely be a scroll written and dropped by a renowned ninja!

Midori: (Nonono, this is certainly not a scroll written by a renowned ninja or anything of the sort.)

(Isn’t this is totally just the dark history notebook*(5) of some kid…? Cause no matter how you look at it, this is just full of delusional ideas…)

(Just looking at this reminds me of an embarrassing episode of my past… In fact, I wish I could run away right this second!)

(I can’t keep looking at this, it’s too embarrassing… Even though I wasn’t the one who wrote it…)

……………

Shinobu: What’s wrong, Midori-kun? You’re frozen in place, clutching that scroll… And you’re sweating like hell. Also, your face is red.

Midori: Errr… Don’t you think it’ll be a bit difficult to actually use these secret arts with just this..?

Shinobu: Not at all! Look at this.

These illustrations depict “in”, that’s what ninja hand signs are called. You wouldn’t be able to find more detailed instructions for this anywhere!

Midori: Uh….!

Shinobu: In are indispensable to a ninja! If you can pull them off, you can definitely use these secret arts! Also, they’re simply cool!

Midori: Augh….!

Shinobu: There’s even those famous kuji-kiri*(6) written in it!

These are deeply related to exorcists, but ninjas can use them, too. There’s also instructions on how to practice the Wu-Xing…*(7)

Midori: Guh….!

Shinobu: And it explains how to do a blood pact in order to form an alliance with a living being…

...Er, Midori-kun, what’s wrong? You’re hanging your head for some reason…

Midori: ….I want to die….

Shinobu: Eeh!? Why, all of a sudden!?

Midori: Don’t worry about it… It just feels like an old wound is being cut open with a knife right now…

I merely feel compelled to throw myself off a cliff right this moment…

Shinobu: ...A- are you okay, Midori-kun? I feel like your depression is accelerating at a quicker pace than usual...?

Midori: I remembered a bunch of stuff from my past, where I used to act in a way that would probably make Morisawa-senpai delighted… I want to kill my past self…

Shinobu: I- I don’t really get what’s going on, but… If it’s something Taichou-dono would find delight in, I don’t understand why you’re so gloomy about it?

Midori: Sengoku-kun. Could you please hit me over the head with the stick over there as hard as you possibly can? I want to forget everything...♪

Shinobu: Please don’t say such scary things with a smile on your face!

Midori: I was being relatively serious, though… By the way, what do you plan to do with this embar- …I mean, with this “Book of Secrets”, Sengoku-kun? Ninja practice?

Shinobu: Ah! That’s right! I totally forgot about the real issue at hand.

I want to learn the jutsus written in this scroll and demonstrate them at the “Club Activity Presentation”.

Performing all of them during the presentation would be difficult time-wise, so I want to make a compilation video of the secret arts and show that.

And that’s where you come in! I’d like to ask Midori-kun to be in charge of filming the video!

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* Tsuchinoko

*2 The original says “ひ伝” (hiden) which means secret, but you’re supposed to write it as “秘伝”. The author of the scroll clearly didn’t know how to write the first kanji and substituted the Hiragana for it. This pops up again later when Midori reads the scroll.

*3 He originally says Garakei, which are mobile phones that are only used in Japan, and are usually of the flip phone variety. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gal%C3%A1pagos_syndrome#Mobile_phones)

*4 ”Conceal” is written with the first kanji in ninja, “忍”.

*5 A dark history notebook, that is, a notebook of scribbles you made during your embarrassing middle school phase that you wish never happened. Google “黒歴史ノート” if you want to see some examples of this.

*6 Kuji-kiri

*7 Wu-Xing