bakemonoremy

Location: In front of the fountain

Shinobu: Eeh!? How do you know such a thing!?

Ha! Could it be that the renowned ninja who wrote this scroll is actually Hakaze-dono...!?

Kaoru: N-No, that’s wrong! Geez~, give me a break. I don’t have weird hobbies like that.

I know it because the owners address and name are written here.

Midori: Eh? When I looked at it, there was no such thing written there… Where is it..?

Kaoru: Look, it’s right here. You can see a few drops of ink seeping through, right? It seems like he wrote something with magic marker and it shows through.

But even when you look at the backside, there’s nothing written on it. I thought that was strange, so I held it up to the light and could see some letters.

Midori: Ah, you’re right…

Shinobu: You’re right. The address and name is written right there!

Kaoru: It seems he pasted two papers of the scroll together so it can’t be read unless you hold it up to the light.

Shinobu: Does that mean I can meet the renowned ninja who wrote this scroll!?

Midori: Eh!? Sengoku-kun, you’re planning to meet him!?

Shinobu: ? I can’t return the scroll to him if I don’t meet him.

Midori: T-That’s true, but… E~rrr…

Kaoru: …………..

Look here, Shinobu-kun. I do think this scroll is well made, but this wasn’t made by a ninja. If you ask me, it’s just a forgery some kid put their all into making?

Shinobu: Eh…?

Midori: Hakaze-senpai!? W-wait…!

Kaoru: I admit there’s a possibility of the kid being a ninja, but.

Well. If you think about it normally, it’s probably just a forgery someone made.

The writing looks childish too, so I’d say it’s probably made by some kid who’s younger than us?

Shinobu: ….. A forgery… I see…

Midori: U- Um…! Please wait just a moment…!

Kaoru: Hm? What is it?

Midori: ...Umm, Hakaze-senpai, there’s no need to talk like that after showing up all of a sudden… I think…

For the time being, isn’t it fine to say it’s the real thing? Let those who want to believe in it, believe in it…

I think it’s fine… Not to splash water onto someone’s dreams like that…

Kaoru: That may be true, but I’m not saying these harsh things because I enjoy it?

Besides, Kanata-kun would get angry at me if I bullied the kids from Ryuseitai.

But even if you keep up appearances and try to hide it, he’s gonna find out sooner or later.

Instead of having Shinobu-kun experience a shock later, don’t you think it’s kinder to tell him the truth now?

At least I would be happier if people were honest with me rather than smoothing things over and deceiving me.

Midori: …….. That is… That may be true. But…

Shinobu: ...Mi- Midori-kun, Hakaze-dono! Stop, the both of you!

I think Midori-kun and Hakaze-dono, and of course Anzu-dono, are all very kind.

Midori-kun kept quiet for my sake, right? Because you didn’t want me to be disappointed…

And Hakaze-dono didn’t want to embarrass me, so he told me things as they are honestly…

Both are the results of you thinking about my feelings, right? So I’m happy about both of them. I don’t want to think of either of them as bad… I won’t think that!

Midori: Sengoku-kun…

Shinobu: I’m going to return this scroll to its owner now!

Even if it’s a forgery… I am sure the child who put their whole heart into making it is sad about losing it.

Location: Park (Dusk)

Shinobu: I’m glad we were able to return the scroll to its owner safely.

Midori: But the video we went through great pains to film was shelved… Is that really okay?

Shinobu: It’s a shame, yeah. But since the owner clung to my legs begging me not to let the video see the light of day, there’s no helping it.

Midori: Well, I get how that kid feels…

Shinobu: ? You do? I don’t have an inkling myself… And he didn’t seem too happy about getting his scroll back, either… I wonder why that is…?

Midori: (Hrm~m. Well, some person he never met in his life came to return the dark history notebook he dropped after all…)

(Moreover, Sengoku-kun passionately told him all his impressions of the scroll.)

If it was me, I would hold the scroll close and fling myself off a cliff into the ocean right about now.

Shinobu: Eeh!? Why would you do that!? I don’t get it~!

Midori: Yeah. I think it’s fine if Sengoku-kun doesn’t get it. In fact, stay the way you are.

Shinobu: Gununu… For some reason Midori-kun is reacting like an adult and it’s vexing… Did you climb the stairs to adulthood~?

In any case. Even though the instructions to so many jutsus were written in such detail in that scroll, it wasn’t written by a real ninja… It’s a shame…

...Maybe no such thing exists after all?

Midori: About that. Don’t you think we just think there is “no such thing” because we haven’t found the real thing yet...?

Shinobu: ? What do you mean…?

Midori: Look, people who have seen a ghost before believe in them, and people who haven’t don’t believe in ghosts, right?

It’s the same as that. We just think there’s “no such thing” because we haven’t found a real scroll yet.

I don’t think it would be strange for a real one to exist…?

Look, our sphere of life is just a tiny fracture of the world, right? And the world is so wide…

Shinobu: Midori-kun…

Midori: And Sengoku-kun, while you were doing your ninjutsus, you were sparkling in a way… It made me envious…

So even if you can’t show off amazing ninjutsus right away, I’m sure your feelings will reach the new students… If not, it’d just be unfair. Um…?

……….. I’m not sure what I’m saying here. I’m depressed...

Shinobu: Midori-kun!

Midori: Ehii!? W-what…?

Shinobu: It’s fine. It reached me.

Everything you wanted to say! Pro~perly! Reached me!

Midori: …….’That so?

I see ♪ That’s good. Let’s go home, Sengoku-kun.

Shinobu: Roger ♪ The frogs are croaking, so let’s go home~ ☆*

(I’ve trained so much, but a lot of the jutsus still ended in failure…)

(It’s kind of depressing, but… At least the “Jutsu of Summoning” I tried in the past was a success...)

(...”May I make friends”**, I said)

-----------------------

*”Kaeru ga naku kara kaero”. I left it literal because I think it’s cute that Shinobu brought up a children’s rhyme involving frogs. It’s a pun involving the word “frog” (kaeru) and the verb “going home” (kaeru). It is thought that parents taught this to their children because they used to go home along rice fields, where frogs started croaking in the evenings.

**He uses “nakama” here which can be anything from a friend to a colleague to a comrade, the kids at Yumenosaki love throwing this word around but I felt it appropriate to put it as “friends” here.

Location: Animal Pens

Midori: A-Anzu-san. There’s a lot of them coming from the other side, too.

We assembled quite a bunch already. I guess if we get a little more, it’ll be fine...? What do you think, Sengoku-kun?

Shinobu: I-I think we gathered enough of them already…? If we get any more, I won’t be able to move anymore~!

Midori: But this “Jutsu of Bird Escape” is a jutsu where you call over a whole bunch of birds with whistling and the like, and then when you let them take flight all at once, conceal yourself in that moment, right?

If we don’t increase the number of birds a little more, I don’t think Sengoku-kun’s body will be concealed?

Well, none of us are able to call birds by whistling, so we’re just scattering bird food around Sengoku-kun, though…

Shinobu: But if you call any more than this it’ll be scary~! They’re gonna peck at me with their beaks and rip me to tatters~!

Midori: Hrm~m. Alright, guess we’ll leave it at that, then.

Now, while the birds are engrossed in eating the food, I’ll slo~wly take a step back… Get my phone camera ready…

Shinobu: Uhii! I’m completely surrounded by birds~...

Th-th-th-this is scary~... Save me~... Midori-kun, Anzu-dono…

Midori: Do your best for just a moment longer, you only need to endure it for a little while more.

...Eh? It’s rare for me to be encouraging Sengoku-kun?

Now that you say it… I guess it’s usually Sengoku-kun who’s cheering me on..?

Shinobu: Please don’t start chattering leisurely~, you two!

Can I please move already!? Can I escape already!?

Midori: They’re assembled quite nicely around you, so do your best for a moment longer~

Shinobu: That’s what you said earlier, too!

B-By the way, the two of you… I didn’t ask yet, but how are you planning to make all the birds take flight at once...?

Errr…? Anzu-dono…? Why are you holding a paper bag that’s blown up like a balloon…?

And what’s with that hand that looks like it’s about to strike it…?

Midori: Alright, Sengoku-kun, I’m filming now~. Anzu-san, I’ll leave it to you.

Shinobu: Eh!? Ho-, wait just a-...!?

Uwaaaah!? The birds got surprised from the sound and all flew up at once…!?

S-Scary~! Ah, ouch!? Who was it that pecked at me just now!?

Owowow! In the confusion of all them flying up, one after the other is pecking at me~! Uwaaahn!

Midori: Ah. Your voice aside, I think this is a good recording... I filmed it nicely, Sengoku-kun.

Shinobu: Uu… Really...?

Midori: Yeah. Because you were so scared of the birds, you were crouching down while trying to avoid them and running off, so it really looks like you disappeared into thin air on the video.

If we make Nito-senpai edit out your voice later, it’ll be perfect I think.

Shinobu: I’m glad to hear that… It was worth putting my body into peril for this… There’s no way I’m doing it again, though.

Midori: Now that we filmed the “Jutsu of Bird Escape”, what’s next, Sengoku-kun?

Shinobu: I’d like to do a more peaceful jutsu next time… Or a cool jutsu…

The “Jutsu of Fire Escape” is flashy, and I think it’s pretty cool, too.

Midori: But that one’s dangerous, right? If you do something that dangerous on the school grounds, if things go south, the Ninja Association might even be disbanded…

Shinobu: You’re right… I’ll give up on the “Jutsu of Fire Escape”, too…

Midori: A peaceful one… Hmm, then, how about this one?

Location: Garden Space

Midori: …………..?

…………..

Shinobu: (from off-screen) Midori-kun, what’s the matter?

Midori: Amazing, Sengoku-kun…! I can’t tell where you are at all. Anzu-san, you can’t tell either, right?

Shinobu: The right answer is over here ♪ Ninja art, “Foliage Hideout Jutsu”!

It’s a jutsu where you hide behind foliage, or an overgrown branch of a tree! It’s easy to learn, and I’d even say it’s a specialty of mine~♪

Midori: Ah, so you were in that brushwood. Hmm~, you’re like a chameleon.

Shinobu: I have a lot of other ways to camouflage myself like this! I am a genius of camouflage after all.

I’m also pretty good at the “Raccoon Hideout Jutsu” that involves quickly climbing up a tree and hiding there.

It seems that my small body is well suited for hiding. I don’t know if I should be happy or frustrated by it.

Location: Garden Space

Midori: Eh~, you’re gonna do it again...? Look, Sengoku-kun, it worked with Nito-senpai and I took the video, so isn’t it fine already...?

(I’m sure there won’t be a second fluke like this one…)

Nazuna: Right? Isn’t it best not to overuse it?

Look, using such difficult jutsus is a burden on the user, and in the worst case, it could drain your life force… Cough. That kind of thing is the standard, right?

Midori: (Errr. Could it be that Nito-senpai also had a chuunibyou phase…?)

Shinobu: It’s okay! I built up a lot of physical strength this past year! I won’t tire out just from this much!

Errr, and besides that… I kind of want to stay like this for a little longer…?

Midori: Hm? What do you mean?

Shinobu: Everyone is appreciating the things I like, and it makes me feel like I belong here.

It made me really happy, because I never had the chance to spend some ninja time with others like this before.

Ah! O-of course there’s no way I wouldn’t be having fun, so there’s no need for you to feel compelled to keep going along with it!

But if possible, I’d like to stay like this with Midori-kun and Nito-dono for a little longer… Is that okay...?

Nazuna: Shinobun…

Midori: Sengoku-kun…

Nazuna: I see… Yeah, I get it. I’ll help Shinobun out, too!

You summoned me to be your helper, right? Well, I don’t really know what I should be helping you with, though.

Shinobu: Do you mean that!? Thank you so much! Just hearing that makes me so happy!

Nazuna: (whispering) Sorry, Midori-chin. I won’t tell the truth to Shinobun. When I look at Shinobun’s sparkling eyes, it somehow takes me back…)

(whispering) Well, remembering the make-believe games I used to play, it does also make me feel like I can’t stand being here for even a second longer…

(whispering) But when I think of how I used to do that kind of stuff with all my might~, it makes me want to not put a damper on him.

Midori: (whispering) No need to apologize. I feel the same way you do, Nito-senpai…

(whispering) Whether he likes it or not, once some time passes he’ll have to face reality… I think it’s fine for him to dream while he still can.

(whispering) Besides, maybe one day he’ll be able to use real jutsus..? Those who believe shall be saved, as they say.

Nazuna: (whispering) Yeah. You’re right, so let’s stick with Shinobun to the end ♪

By the way, Shinobun. Before you use the “Jutsu of Summoning” a second time, is it okay if I return this rabbit to its pen? It’d be a pain if he escaped again.

Shinobu: Ah! You’re right! In that case, I’ll perform the jutsu over by the animal pens.

Location: Animal Pens

Nazuna: One~, two~, three~. Yeah, they’re all here.

Shinobu: We put the rabbit back where he belongs, so it’s time for me to use the “Jutsu of Summoning” again!

Midori: Should I film it again, just in case?

Shinobu: Yes, thank you! Well then, without delay!

Midori: (whispering) But if it fails this time, how should I cheer Sengoku-kun up…?

Nazuna: (whispering) The chances are slim after all… When that time comes, I’ll try to deceive him somehow…

Shinobu: Here I go! Ha! Ho! Teya… Ninja art, “Jutsu of Summoning”!

………….

Midori: (As expected, nothing is happening… What do I do…)

Nazuna: S-Shinobun… Umm…

Midori: Uhyah!? Someone grabbed my shoulder…

...Huh, Anzu-san? Please don’t surprise me like that… Hm? You came to feed the rabbits?

Nazuna: I already fed them, though?

Eh? Hm~m, so you received some good vegetables and wanted to share them with the rabbits. Thanks, Anzu!

Shinobu: ...It was a success.

Midori: Hm? Sengoku-kun, did you say something?

Shinobu: Nito-dono! Midori-kun! The “Jutsu of Summoning” was a success! There’s no greater helper than Anzu-dono, right!?

Nazuna: N-now that you say it…

Midori: Anzu-san could be called a helper…?

Shinobu: Yaaay ♪ I knew it, this scroll is the real thing! Nito-dono and Anzu-dono. I summoned two perfectly suitable helpers!

Nazuna: Ah, Anzu is staring blankly as if she can’t follow the conversation.

Midori: Errr, the truth is that we’re helping Sengoku-kun take a video for the Club Activity Presentations.

It’s going to be a demonstration video of some ninja arts that are written in a scroll Sengoku-kun picked up…

Nazuna: And so, Shinobun used the “Jutsu of Summoning”, and Anzu appeared.

Unya? That seems fun, you say? You think? I’m kind of anxious myself, actually… Ah, it’s nothing.

Midori: Huh? Anzu-san wants to help us, too?

You say it’s because you were summoned as a helper, but Anzu-san is always running all over the place helping people everywhere…

Well, this is just like you, I guess…

Location: Garden Space

Midori: ...Hey, Sengoku-kun, how much farther do we need to go? This is really starting to become a pain…

Shinobu: Err, I suppose we’re fine now that we’ve come this far…?

Lend me your ear for a moment. I don’t want to say this too loudly, but the truth is that I found something incredible.

Midori: Something incredible…? Err, like… a soft tsuchinoko*...or something? If you can’t keep it as a pet, it’s probably best if you put it back where you found it.

Shinobu: Well, it’d certainly be incredible if I had found that. But like, what’s up with that way of thinking?

Midori: I just said the most incredible thing that came to my mind. Was I wrong?

Shinobu: You were wrong~! This! This is what I picked up!

Midori: What’s that… A scroll? “Book of Secrets”....

Shinobu: Isn’t it amazing!? It’s a scroll of secrets!

Midori: So fishy…! I’m in no position to say this after bringing up the tsuchinoko, but don’t you think this is just way too dubious…?

Just look at the writing of the title. It’s written in magic marker. And they didn’t know how to spell “secret”*(2).

Shinobu: Yeah. Using ink is too inconvenient. Even ninjas need to adapt to the changing times and use modern tools.

From flip phones*(3) to smartphones. Ninjas also made the switch from ink to magic marker.

Midori: I’m not buying it…

Shinobu: The fact that they wrote “secret” in hiragana is probably also due to the changing times.

Like this, it’s easier to approach for anyone!

Midori: A ninja who prioritizes approachability is already plenty strange, though..? Aren’t they supposed to conceal*(4) things?

Shinobu: In any case! To me, this is like what it feels like for Midori-kun when his favorite yuru chara is on sale.

Midori: That’s upsetting, don’t compare the two.

Hey, Sengoku-kun. Don’t you think you should put this scroll back where you found it?

Shinobu: What are you saying! There’s a whole bunch of secret ninja arts written in this! There’s no way I could throw away something like that!

Midori: Haa, secret arts…?

Shinobu: Once you see the amazing jutsus written in this, you’ll surely understand what I mean, Midori-kun!

Midori-kun is a friend I can trust! So I have no reservations about showing you the contents of this scroll ♪

Midori: Err… Thanks for trusting me, I guess...? But I’m really not interested… Or rather, I don’t want to read it. If I read it, I’d get involved in this.

Shinobu: Now, now, don’t say that! There’s a lot of jutsus in there that you’ll seldom see anywhere else~. Midori-kun, once you see them you’ll surely be moved deeply! Now, go ahead!

Midori: Wh- stop pushing the scroll into my arms like that... I- I get it already! I’ll read it!

Haa… Sengoku-kun is so pushy, I’m depressed… I can understand getting excited over the things you like, but I wish you wouldn’t get me involved…

Let’s see here… First secret art, “Jutsu of Invisibility”, second secret art, “Jutsu of Summoning”... There’s a lot of different settings in this, huh. This is…

Shinobu: Right, right? Isn’t it amazing? There’s a lot of secret arts written in this that I could’ve only dreamed of!

There’s no mistake about it, this must surely be a scroll written and dropped by a renowned ninja!

Midori: (Nonono, this is certainly not a scroll written by a renowned ninja or anything of the sort.)

(Isn’t this is totally just the dark history notebook*(5) of some kid…? Cause no matter how you look at it, this is just full of delusional ideas…)

(Just looking at this reminds me of an embarrassing episode of my past… In fact, I wish I could run away right this second!)

(I can’t keep looking at this, it’s too embarrassing… Even though I wasn’t the one who wrote it…)

……………

Shinobu: What’s wrong, Midori-kun? You’re frozen in place, clutching that scroll… And you’re sweating like hell. Also, your face is red.

Midori: Errr… Don’t you think it’ll be a bit difficult to actually use these secret arts with just this..?

Shinobu: Not at all! Look at this.

These illustrations depict “in”, that’s what ninja hand signs are called. You wouldn’t be able to find more detailed instructions for this anywhere!

Midori: Uh….!

Shinobu: In are indispensable to a ninja! If you can pull them off, you can definitely use these secret arts! Also, they’re simply cool!

Midori: Augh….!

Shinobu: There’s even those famous kuji-kiri*(6) written in it!

These are deeply related to exorcists, but ninjas can use them, too. There’s also instructions on how to practice the Wu-Xing…*(7)

Midori: Guh….!

Shinobu: And it explains how to do a blood pact in order to form an alliance with a living being…

...Er, Midori-kun, what’s wrong? You’re hanging your head for some reason…

Midori: ….I want to die….

Shinobu: Eeh!? Why, all of a sudden!?

Midori: Don’t worry about it… It just feels like an old wound is being cut open with a knife right now…

I merely feel compelled to throw myself off a cliff right this moment…

Shinobu: ...A- are you okay, Midori-kun? I feel like your depression is accelerating at a quicker pace than usual...?

Midori: I remembered a bunch of stuff from my past, where I used to act in a way that would probably make Morisawa-senpai delighted… I want to kill my past self…

Shinobu: I- I don’t really get what’s going on, but… If it’s something Taichou-dono would find delight in, I don’t understand why you’re so gloomy about it?

Midori: Sengoku-kun. Could you please hit me over the head with the stick over there as hard as you possibly can? I want to forget everything...♪

Shinobu: Please don’t say such scary things with a smile on your face!

Midori: I was being relatively serious, though… By the way, what do you plan to do with this embar- …I mean, with this “Book of Secrets”, Sengoku-kun? Ninja practice?

Shinobu: Ah! That’s right! I totally forgot about the real issue at hand.

I want to learn the jutsus written in this scroll and demonstrate them at the “Club Activity Presentation”.

Performing all of them during the presentation would be difficult time-wise, so I want to make a compilation video of the secret arts and show that.

And that’s where you come in! I’d like to ask Midori-kun to be in charge of filming the video!

----------------------

* Tsuchinoko

*2 The original says “ひ伝” (hiden) which means secret, but you’re supposed to write it as “秘伝”. The author of the scroll clearly didn’t know how to write the first kanji and substituted the Hiragana for it. This pops up again later when Midori reads the scroll.

*3 He originally says Garakei, which are mobile phones that are only used in Japan, and are usually of the flip phone variety. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gal%C3%A1pagos_syndrome#Mobile_phones)

*4 ”Conceal” is written with the first kanji in ninja, “忍”.

*5 A dark history notebook, that is, a notebook of scribbles you made during your embarrassing middle school phase that you wish never happened. Google “黒歴史ノート” if you want to see some examples of this.

*6 Kuji-kiri