bakemonoremy

Collab with Soup

Location: Antique Market Venue



Nagisa: ……Have a look around you, children.

Mika: ………?

Nagisa: ……Right this moment, at this Antique Market, there are two separate events taking place.

……The first is the dealing of antiques, at its heart being the inheritance of my father’s self-proclaimed confidante — the man known as GFK.

Kohaku: Are you callin’ GFK a wannabe…? Well, considerin’ he called himself “God’s successor”, he sure was a real weakling.

Nagisa: ……He may have been telling the truth, although I have no recollection of ever meeting that man.

……In all likelihood GFK was a man of no importance, one considered so negligible that he went entirely overlooked as he ran off with a large amount of my father’s inheritance.

……But there’s also the possibility of the man known as GFK having been a scapegoat who was being manipulated by my father’s true confidante.

Mika: His true confidante…?

Nagisa: ……Such a man did exist. A frightening man. It seems that he is overseas these days and, uncharacteristically, keeping his head down. If anyone is worthy of the title of my father’s confidante, it is this man.

……He keeps his lineage a secret from the world, but those close to my father are all aware of it.

…...My father’s legitimate successor — or at least, the one who has the rights to his inheritance, is neither me nor Ibara. It is that man.

……GFK may have been that man’s puppet.

……Ibara often employs similar methods. Letting someone else take the fall for him, and allowing all the ill will and animosity to befall that person instead. In the meantime, he can do as he pleases with no difficulty.

……That’s also why he never aimed to become the agency president, instead opting to play second fiddle as the vice president. That way he can escape the consequences of anything that may happen.

……Back in my days in fine, Tsumugi-kun was trying to turn himself into the scapegoat by his own will. He truly was a peculiar and strange one.

Kohaku: To think that someone like that is the representative alongside Bon in NewDi…

Nah, in a way I should see that as a good thing, since he’ll be willin’ to become Bon’s scapegoat if it ever comes ta that.

Nagisa: ……In case the world comes crashing down, Tsumugi-kun won’t hesitate to do that. But if possible, I’d like to avoid having him take those miserable actions again.

……We’ve gotten off track. At this Antique Market, there is another event casually unfolding besides the sale of antiques.

……Based inside the ES building, there are all kinds of exhibitions and talk shows taking place, which aim to lecture the general public on the history of idols.

……It seems that Hidaka-sensei, whom I caught a glimpse of earlier, as well as his son, Hockey Mask-kun, have been called here for that purpose.

……After all, the father is the last active super idol, and as such a living dictionary, and the son is the overall victor of the SS that was held at the end of last year, and as such an idol who is enjoying the very peak of popularity.

……I can’t think of more fitting people to speak on the history of idols.

……Since he used to be a top idol in his own right, Sagami-sensei is holding a speech as well. It only makes sense that I was also asked to speak, seeing as I’m a living witness of my father’s era.

……Additionally, a large part of the items for sale at the Antique Market originated from the idol industry. Items of that nature make up the majority of GFK’s inheritance from my father, after all.

……And so, one can learn about the history of idols just by walking through the Antique Market and keeping their eyes and ears open.

……It’s a bit like a museum with lecturers on staff. If you ask me, it’s a matter of great interest.

Mika: But that kinda talkin’ makes lil’ kids n’ the like bored, don’t it? 

Nagisa: ……Naturally, they came up with ways to make it interesting for younger children as well. But there’s probably a limit to just how interesting they can make it for them.

……One could say that this is precisely your role, as the crowd-pullers.

Kohaku: Well, that’s what we came ‘ere for.

Mika: Yeah… I’ve got the feelin’ Mikejima-senpai n’ Oshi-san’ve got some secret plans, but… 

I guess ya could say we’re— I’m here purely t’sing on stage and be the entertainment.

Nagisa: ……How admirable, you’re exemplary idols.

…...No, let me rephrase. It is thanks to idols like you that the curse that’s been cast on the rest of us may be lifted one day.

Kohaku: ………?

Nagisa: ……Although at first I planned to ask only you to do this alone, Oukawa Kohaku-kun. That’s why I started off by saying all those threatening things to you — in order to make you swallow our demands more easily.

……But then I came to remember that you’re that kind of person too, Kagehira Mika-kun.

Mika: E-eh? What kinda person’s that? I’m just some dim-witted, ordinary guy, yeah…?

Nagisa: ……Take it as a compliment when I say this, but you’re like an animal. You have no interest in the greater flow of history; all that matters to you is protecting yourself and the treasures and family you’ve gathered.

……Because of you two, because of you being as you are — you may be able to become the shining light for fools such as I, Shu-kun and Madara-kun; the weary adults whose gazes are fixed on a distant past, clouded to the present in front of our eyes.

Mika & Kohaku: ………? 

Collab with Soup

Location: Antique Market Venue

- A short while later -



Mika: So, that’s when Oshi-san—

Kohaku: (Aw man~... How’d it come ta this? Things took a weird turn somewhere.)

(I reckoned it’d be bad manners ta shake ‘im off an’ make my getaway, so I let Kagehira-han wear me down an’ get me ta walk around the Antique Market with ‘im fer a bit under the premise that neither of us has got anythin’ to do until our performance later anyway.)

(He said that there ain’t no reason fer us to split up… I can’t very well say no to Kagehira-han when he wants ta spend time with me fer such innocent reasons.)

(The stellar comeback that there ain’t no real reason fer us to spend time together either didn’t cross my mind at the time.)

(Oh well. Usually it’d be unthinkable fer one of our targets ta survive an’ fer us to be able to spend time together with ‘em, anyway…)

(But since this has never happened before, I’ve got no clue how to act in an unfamiliar situation like this.)

(Although I did do some research since that incident the other day, an’ it became clear ta me that Kagehira-han truly doesn’t seem t’have done anything bad…)

(But that don’t mean that he’s entirely cleared from suspicion just yet.)

(Some fraudulent, questionable money transfers did take place — with vice prez Saegusa-han at the center of ‘em…)

(As long as Valkyrie’s involvement with those transfers exists, we’ll be wise ta keep this connection intact.)

(That said, I’m basically just Madara-han’s helper, merely here to balance the numbers — which means there ain’t no need fer me to think all that deeply about the whole affair.)

(I’ve effectively been rather roped into alla this against my will this time.)

(Feels like gettin’ roped into stuff is all I’ve been doin’ lately, though… This won’t do, I ain’t got a speck of autonomy.)

(Still, I can’t help it after havin’ been born into a family like mine. I was raised to believe that this is the “right answer”, that it’s my duty ta work in service of those above me an’ follow their orders.)

Mika: ? Kohaku-kun — what’s with that gloomy face? Ya alright?

Ah, yer probably bored cause I just keep goin’ on and on about Oshi-san, aren’t ya...? 

People say that a lot. Though, I don’t have anythin’ else t’talk about...

Kohaku: ...Nah, you’re not to blame, Kagehira-han. ‘Sides, I reckon you’re probably just a victim who’s unfortunately been wrapped up in this whole affair, anyhow.

Mika: Ahaha, “Nushi-han”? Did ya mean “Anta”*? We both have the same kinda Kansai dialect, but it’s different; where’re ya from, Kohaku-kun?

Kohaku: Whaddaya mean where I’m from? I’m from around here. It’s just that my family’s origin apparently lies over in Heian-kyo** or somethin’, so outta tradition I was made ta use this manner of speakin’.

I find it quite the overly nostalgic — or rather ridiculous — tradition, though. But it ain’t worth stubbornly rejectin’.

Mika: Heian-kyo, huh? Haha, wow yer family’s real old.

Kohaku: I can’t say fer sure if it’s true or not, though. They probably just convinced themselves that it is, an’ then built their whole identity around it. That’s generally how traditions work.

It’s like when ya trace yer ancestry back all the way, we’re all originally descended from God, so we’ve gotta be mighty eminent, or something…

It’s just some lie someone made up way back when to make themself look prestigious, but generations later it’s turned into a widely accepted truth.

Whatever the lie may be, if no one catches on to it bein’ one, it’ll become the truth. It’s better to be a liar, ‘cause honesty doesn’t pay —

Mika: ~......♪

Kohaku: What’s so funny, birdbrain? The way you’re lookin’ at me with that stupid grin on yer face is givin’ me the creeps.

Mika: Ngah, m’sorry? I’m just happy yer talkin’ so much, y’know? 

It may be just cause we sorta speak the same, but yer real easy t’talk to... Even if I can’t understand half of whatcha say.

Kohaku: Ko ko ko ♪ If ya understood half of it, you’re doin’ better than most people. Humans usually understand not even a tenth of what anyone is sayin’ at any given point, y’know?

Mika: Yeah, everyone says things that’re so hard t’understand...

I might’ve just gone and dropped my brains somewhere, but I always feel like I’m spendin’ every day knowin’ nothing. 

I thought that things Oshi-san said were right, so he became a guide fer me—

But recently I’ve been real useless cause I’ve had to use my own empty head to guide me, and ’cause of that I’ve felt real anxious, and like I’ve had no one t’look to. 

But still, I can’t just keep relyin’ on Oshi-san...

Kohaku: (? What do we got here? Oh, could this be a chance ta get information straight from Kagehira-han’s mouth?)

(This guy seems like he’ll carelessly spill everythin’ if I just prod him the right way…)

(T’tell the truth, investigation ain’t my forte. It’s like the younger of my sisters said, the most crucial part of an interrogation is gettin’ the guy to speak.)

(The most dreadful scenario is when the person you’re interrogatin’ doesn’t open their mouth at all. Much better ta hear a bunch of lies, since you’ll still be able ta pick some information outta that, is what she said.)

(It’s annoying how overprotective my sisters are, but ta make up fer that, they’ll hear me out on any topic, no matter how foolish it may be.)

(Alright then —  I’ll put on the best friend act with this guy, create a warm and friendly atmosphere, an’ get his tongue ta loosen up a lil’.)

(If this guy’s got skeletons in his closet, this is how I’ll drag them outta there in one fell swoop. An’ even if he doesn’t, then I’m at least blessed by the idol gods ta get to spend a fun time with ‘im. Ko ko ko ♪)


------------------

* As Mika says, Kohaku makes use of the second person pronoun “nushi-han” while Mika uses the infinitely more common “anta”.

** Heian-kyo is a former name of the current Kyoto, back when it was the political capital where the emperor resided, and is also the namesake for the Heian-period (794-1185) in Japan. Its status as capital was lost in 1868, and the city was renamed to Kyoto back in the 11th century, so Kohaku hints at a staggeringly long family history with roots in the Heian-period.

Collab with Soup

Location: Antique Market Venue

A short while later.

Kohaku: (Hmm. What’s goin’ on here? Looks like there’s a strange crowd formin’.)

(And just earlier, Trickstar’s… Uh, what was his name again? Hidaka Hokuto-han? — He was on stage singin’ with his father like they’re the best of pals.)

(Looks like a whole buncha idols were hired ta liven up the Antique Market a lil’. But even though it seems like a dull event, the lineup they’ve got goin’ on is of the highest caliber fer some reason.)

(That figures. The sponsor fer the Antique Market is the Producer Association after all, an’ I heard they’ll temporarily be takin’ all the proceeds from it as administration fees.) 

(Which means this is a chance fer the four agencies ta get on the Producer Association’s good side by puttin’ their best foot forward.)

(Politics, eh. There’s always a reason behind everything. Well, I reckon that’s just my bad habit of only lookin’ at the dark side of things talkin’, though.)

(This time I really only got dragged into this against my will.)

(Madara-han’s pullin’ a mighty grim face ‘bout all this, though I don’t know what his connection is with this Shu-han from Valkyrie.)

(Nah, that ain’t it. Something must’ve happened between those two way back when, before my time.)

(I’m only in Double Face so we can meet the member requirement to form a unit, anyhow. As an idol, I’m just a rookie who’s only recently started activities at all.)

(Better keep my head down an’ stay outta trouble.)

Mika: Ngah~? Ah, uhm, are ya Oukawa-kun, from Double Face?

Hey~ m’over here~! Can’t ya hear me? It’s good to see ya♪

Kohaku: ...Why would ya just call out to me like that, kid.

Mika: Eh, is that bad? We’re performin’ together on the closing stage for the Antique Market today, though.

It’s common sense in this show biz that ya gotta greet yer co-workers properly, isn’t it~? 

Heheh, well I guess it makes sense ya don’t know that, cause yer a newbie n’all...♪

Kohaku: ……… 

Mika: Wha-? M’sorry everyone, I didn’t forget about all y’all! 

Lookie here, I’m signin’ these real nice for ya, mkay? Thank ya kindly fer always supportin’ Valkyrie, please make sure t’ continue goin’ forward too~♪ 

Kohaku: (? What’s he doing? Valkyrie’s Kagehira-han is surrounded by lil’ children… Reckon it’s ‘cause o’ him that this crowd’s formed.)

(Looks like he’s signin’ autographs for ‘em. Wow, he looks all idol-like...)

(That said, Kagehira-han’s so clumsy that the autographs are takin’ him a good while, which caused a line ta form, an’ now people are bein’ held up by it.)

Mika: Hm? Ah, yer right! Let’s all move over there then, so we don’t get in people’s way on the road — thank ya fer tellin’ me♪

M’not really the attentive type...♪

Kohaku: (Haha. One of ‘em lil’ kids scolded him, an’ now he’s movin’ the whole procession elsewhere in a fluster. Kagehira-han comes off as an average guy at a glance, but somehow he tends ta draw negative attention to himself.)

(But ya could say that attractin’ attention, regardless of whether it’s good or bad, is an idol-like trait to have — meaning my habit of concealin’ my presence puts me at a disadvantage as an idol.)

Mika: ~……♪

Kohaku: (In any case, he looks happy as a pig in mud. Reckon he loves to put a smile on children’s faces like this.)

(Though I doubt these kiddos even get what the noble art yadda yadda that Valkyrie boasts of is all about.)

(Nah, actually children got mighty flexible thinking compared to adults, so they’re probably adaptin’ to it just fine.)

(But if those things — the direction the unit’s takin’ and Kagehira-han’s personal disposition an’ nature — are at odds with each other, I’d feel kinda bad for the fella.)

(It’d mean he could only keep livin’ by killing his “self”.)

(Alright, enough of that. Analyzin’ other people is another bad habit of mine.)

(‘Sides, the folks at ES all don’t fit the mould anyway — The more I think about ‘em, the more I feel like I’m gettin’ lost in a labyrinth.)

(An’ in any case, I don’t have the right to worry about a member of Valkyrie to begin with. Not after how we hurt an’ mistreated ‘em the other day.)

Mika: Hey~ Oukawa-kun♪

Kohaku: …What's the matter with ya? Can’t'cha see the position you guys’re in? Or are you the kinda person who can’t read the mood?

Mika: Ngah~? Guess I don’t know myself♪

Anywho, Oukawa-kun, it looks like this lil’ kid here’s a fan of Crazy:B, and they want yer autograph.

The kid’s askin’ me to introduce ya to ’em, cause it looks like I know ya.

Ehehe, the kid looks kinda embarrassed, they’re fidgetin’ a whole bunch.

Kohaku: A Crazy:B fan? I had no idea that some of our fans were lil’ kids...

Mika: I think there are lots of Crazy:B fans who’re kids. It’s unexpected, but kids like things that’re extreme. They don’t really think too deeply ‘bout things ’cause if it looks cool, then they don’t really care ‘bout anythin’ else. 

Well, I’m also real popular with kids, so is that how it is for me? Is it cause Valkyrie’s the coolest...?

Kohaku: ...Ya really don’t seem ta know yerself at all, Kagehira-han.

Mika: Ngah? Whaddya mean?

Kohaku: I’m under no obligation ta spell that out fer you. Well, fine by me though. All I gotta do is give that kid an autograph, right?

I don’t really have any experience givin’ autographs though, so I beg yer pardon if my signature’s not to yer likin’, ‘kay?

Mika: It’s alright, it’s the thought that counts~ ♪ If yer feelin’ anxious, I’ll be nearby to watch over ya!

Kohaku: (I don’t know what it is about this guy, but everything Kagehira-han says gets right up my nose...)

(From what I heard he’s always been the youngest member in Valkyrie, so maybe he’s happy that he gets to act like a big brother to me, who’s a younger member from the same agency?)

Location: Antique Market Venue

- Reminiscing. One week after Valkyrie and Double Face clashed, on the day of the Antique Market -



Seiya: Hoccha~n! Your Papa’s here~♪

Hokuto: — Hello, is this the police? I was just approached by a suspicious person claiming to be my father.

Seiya: Ahaha. This would be quite the hilarious joke coming from anyone else, but since it’s you, I bet you’re actually reporting me to the authorities, so it’s not funny.

Alright, I’ll be confiscating that phone now ♪

Hokuto: Hey, give it back! You thief!

Seiya: As your father, your belongings are my belongings. Also — and this applies to your earlier statement as well — you really shouldn’t go around treating other people like they’re criminals at the drop of a hat.

Of course, seeing as my team of lawyers is excellent, I’ll be completely fine, but it’s you that I’m worried about. What if my fans take you to court for character assassination?

Hokuto: If I get sued, just lend me your team of lawyers. As your son, your belongings are my belongings, after all.

Seiya: Ah, hey, Honey? Just now, Hocchan finally acknowledged me as his father! We’re poppin’ bottles tonight!

How’s that! I bet you’re green with envy, hm? But even when you’re vexed, you’re still the most charming person in the whole universe! I love you!

Hokuto: Don’t have such disgusting conversations with your wife on the phone that you stole from your own son!

Seiya: Hocchan! Your mom has been wanting a younger brother or sister for you; do you happen to have any requests regarding their date of birth or name?

I’ll do everything within my power to aim for the season you’d like them to be born in! I’m an idol, after all ♪

Hokuto: Don’t do it! Don’t bring any more victims into this world to suffer like I have!

Really, what’s the matter with you…? You just seem to be getting more and more unpleasant every time I see you, shouldn’t you have hit rock bottom by now?

Seiya: Ahaha ♪ Who do you take me for? I’m the one and only active duty super idol in the whole world, you know? Also, I’m your father!

Hokuto: And if it wasn’t for that last part, I might’ve had a shot at going through life with a slightly more tranquil heart.

Anyway, that’s hardly the matter at hand here. More importantly, Dad — Why did you ask me to meet you all of a sudden? Why aren’t you dead?

Seiya: Of course, that’s because my wife and fans want me to live.

Hokuto: No one asked!

Seiya: You just did. You sure take after your mother, what with how you forget the things you said yourself mere seconds after saying them~.

Recognizing traces of my beloved wife within you has deepened my affection towards you. Congratulations.

Hokuto: Thanks, I don’t need it. If you have nothing worthwhile to say to me, I’ll be taking my leave now; I’ve got my own matters to attend to.

Seiya: The poor can’t afford rest, as they say.

…You guys have seemed a bit spiritless lately, is everything okay? Want Papa to throw some work your way?

Hokuto: I don’t need that either. There’s not a single thing I’d accept from your hands whatsoever.

Seiya: I don’t mind. Even if you don’t accept them, I’ll keep pouring them on you anyway. That’s what people mean when they say the love of a parent knows no reward; I’ll keep delivering it to you unsolicitedly no matter how many times it is returned to sender.

Hokuto: Ugh, can someone please come assassinate this guy— 

Seiya: Fufu. In any case, I’ve had enough of messing with my little Hocchan, so let me explain the situation.

You see, I didn’t ask you to meet me on a mere whim this time around.

Have a look around you, Hocchan. Right now, there’s an Antique Market taking place on this green area around ES.

Hokuto: Hmm. Indeed, that’s what the banners around here say. “Autumn Antique Market”, huh — Although I don’t recall there having been one in spring or summer.

Seiya: Of course you don’t. Apparently, this is ES’s first time taking this venture.

But, well, their ulterior motive is probably that if the publicity turns out well they’ll stage these in irregular intervals from now on.

Hokuto: I see. So they want to establish this as a seasonal event, like SakuraFes.

Seiya: Well, if you ask me, that’s not going to happen~. The clientele is too different; young idol-loving people these days aren’t going to be interested in things like antiques.

Hokuto: I wouldn’t be so sure of that. I, for one, like them quite a bit; things like traditionally handcrafted items that have endured time.

Seiya: In your case, that must be due to my mother-in-law’s influence… Or actually, Hocchan, I think it’d do you some good to be a little more self-aware about being an exceptional person.

Hokuto: Thanks to two certain someones, I get to realize that over and over again every day of my life.

No, that’s not right. It’s the opposite, actually. Because of you two, it’s as if I can’t see myself as someone special in the slightest.

Seiya: Ahaha! What a burden it is to have such outstanding parents! I can sympathize with that, and I appreciate the praise — Hocchan ♪

Hokuto: I wasn’t praising you. Get to the point, and skip the unnecessary remarks.

Seiya: Fiiine. The principal goal of this Antique Market is the disposal of GFK’s inheritance — That certain industry heavyweight who went missing the other day.

It appears that he hoarded an impressive stockpile through quite unscrupulous means, so his inheritance must make up a vast share of the market.

Hokuto: GFK… I feel like I hear that name from time to time, but who exactly is he?

Seiya: Who knows? I have no interest in him. In order to avoid getting tangled up in something unsavoury like “Akehoshi-kun” did, I always made sure not to get involved with anything in the vicinity of that “God”*.

You could say that’s how I’ve survived this long.

———————-

* For new readers who missed out on ! lore: when Seiya says “Akehoshi-kun” he means Subaru’s deceased father, not Subaru. The “God” he mentions is the person Nagisa calls “father”, and who’s otherwise known as “the Godfather” of idols.

Guest translation by Soup

Location: Meeting Room

Early October. Immediately following the Antique Market, after an interview with Hidaka Hokuto and Ran Nagisa.

Akiomi: ...I would presume it was similar to a traffic accident. 

Even if they’re insistent on putting up a front, in the end they’re still children. 

Both Double Face and Valkyrie are inexperienced here — Double Face are not expert investigators, and Valkyrie have devoted themselves towards artistic expression.

To put it crudely, they come off as geeks with no real world experience. 

Even if those inexperienced kids try their best to pretend to be adults, I know it won’t go well for them. 

And of course, it ended up in an accident... That’s basically what happened in the incident involving the Antique Market. 

Really, it’s so stupid, isn’t it? I wish those children would just stay quiet and do as the adults tell them. 

Even though we adults spend all of our time and effort fixing and setting the stage so those children can live comfortably and peacefully... 

They disregard it, and our kindness goes to waste. 

This is something for you to hear too, Anzu-san. 

I don’t know if you’re just killing time or something, but can you really be spending your time playing detective like this?

You also have your regular work to do, yes?

If you’re flawlessly completing all your work, then you’re free to do whatever you want in your spare time —  but, frankly, the way you are currently working does not warrant praise. 

Even so, compared to last year, you’re doing much better. 

But please, don’t forget this— 

You’re an amateur who gained not even two full years of experience; you’re still early in assuming your role as a Producer.

Idols may put you on a pedestal, but make sure you don’t get cocky. 

In the idol industry, where one must keep their wits about them, if you are careless you will be crushed. 

Pardon? “You’ll be misunderstood if you aren't more careful about what you’re saying”? 

I’m a teacher, Anzu-san. Our job isn’t to make friends with our students; it’s to help them learn and grow, even if they resent us for it. 

The reality is that it’s right to fear me, or even to hate me. 

Hm? “Mikejima-kun said something similar”? 

How cheeky... He’s still a child who needs to be protected too. 

Well, it’s fine. I don’t have much spare time either, and I’d like you to return to your duties soon, so I'll keep it brief. 

The Antique Market was planned and held by the Producer Association and the four idol agencies. 

You needed to come in contact with someone who is looking over the operation, and I'm guessing I'm the only one you could contact. 

It wouldn't do to perform a personal inspection, as the agencies would take it as a hostile action. As a member of the Producer Association, I’m really the only one you can ask.  

“You’re not the enemy at all,”... I’m glad you have that much faith in me. 

Anyhow, various conspiracies and misinformation about the happenings surrounding the Antique Market are spreading around. 

The testimonies of those involved may very well be mixed with lies, and that issue tends to lead to confusion. 

There’s no such thing as an omniscient orchestrator who understands everything that's happening. In actuality, that’s how it is for all of reality; it’s just the way life works. 

Nevertheless, people are inclined to pursue the existence of God, of a creator that knows all. 

People can’t just accept an ambiguous reality so immediately. What they wish for is a clear, black and white color-coded explanation. 

Even though the likes of who is just and who is evil will be decided by the one who writes the script, but even that author is not a god who asserts control over all. 

Oh? “I don’t want to hear that kind of philosophical talk”? 

I intended to teach you how the “life of an adult” works, how it’s easier to understand if you don’t think about it too deeply. 

That would save you an explanation, after all. 

Anyhow, Mikejima-kun and Kagehira-kun were my associates in Ba-Barrier, which I led during the Saga project. 

Since I am somewhat involved in this problem, let’s talk about what we need to discuss to protect their honor. 

To begin, as a premise, neither Valkyrie nor Double Face are “evil” in this series of events. 

To be precise, neither of them have committed any crimes. The police cannot conduct an investigation, arrest them, or prosecute them, at least. 

They haven’t done anything wrong. 

However, even people who have done nothing wrong can be involved in a crime, either accidentally dragged into the incident, or targeted as a victim. 

For now, they're all victims—well, Double Face is questionable, but Valkyrie definitely are. They've simply run into trouble this time around.

Location: ES Underground Live Stage



Kohaku: (Ngh~... He’s as nasty as ever, that Madara-han.)

(Like givin’ a sword to a something-or-other*, huh. That’s what ya get when ya give power to someone who lacks all regard fer consequences an’ keepin’ the peace with his surroundings — someone who’s got nothing to lose.)

(Seems like stories about children who’re given immense power are popular in this country, fer example in manga an’ such.)

(But in reality, if ya were ta give a child who has no control over their emotions such power, they’d start killin’ any parent, teacher, an’ classmate they find even the slightest bit odious in cold blood.)

(With strong power comes strong responsibility.*2 Ya can’t give weapons to a child who hasn’t learned this lesson yet.)

(Nah, Madara-han must’ve learned this thoroughly from a young age, an’ yet he still wields his power however the hell he likes. That’s what makes him so much trouble.)

(He’s actually the kinda person we*3 oughta have subdued right from the start.)

(Yet here I am, havin’ joined forces with someone like that, wearin’ matching clothes an’ actin’ all buddy-buddy with him. Life sure is strange that way.)

(Whatever. At least our investigation’s gonna progress a lil’ like this.)

(We followed the thread that’ll lead us to our real target, the vice prez — an’ that thread is Valkyrie, who seem t’have had some shady dealings with him.)

(Madara-han was real meticulous an’ got all our ducks in a row. Immediately after Valkyrie’s live, when they were already exhausted, he hit ‘em with a challenge to a bout right in front of their fans.)

(Valkyrie couldn’t refuse it. Even if they were at their limit, an’ in no shape to do another live.)

(Prideful an’ conceited as Valkyrie is… they musta felt that, once they got challenged like that, they didn’t wanna disappoint their fans by showin’ ‘em the disgraceful sight of ‘em takin’ to their heels in shame.)

(Or rather, that’s the situation Madara-han set up ta induce ‘em to act the way he wanted.)

(He stirred ‘em up plenty, an’ even abused idol techniques like callin’ out to the audience from the stage to rile ‘em up.)

(He trapped Valkyrie in a situation they couldn’t escape from, an’ forced ‘em into a bout — a live showdown with favorable conditions fer us.)

(It seems as if quarrel-like bouts between idols like this one are outta fashion these days. But when it’s all said an’ done, violence is the quickest way ta resolve things.)

(“Violence doesn’t solve anything” is just a wild tale that the people in power tell the subjects they secretly control through violent authority and other means in order to keep ‘em in check so they won’t try an’ turn the tables on ‘em.)

(It’s nothin’ but the squeals of the pigs who fatten ‘emselves up by slurpin’ up the lifeblood of the kiddos who believe this nonsense.)

(The oh-so-mighty humans domesticated all other beasts or turned ‘em into fodder, an’ traded their own fangs and claws fer systems of violence*4.)

(By mobilizing forces like language, money, laws, gods, and many others — we trampled over all those other beasts an’ became the lords of creation, the rulers of this planet.)

(And mere animals who are unaware of this simply become food for the mighty humans.)

Madara: Could it be that you don’t even understand why you lost — Shu-san?

Shu: ………

Madara: There are many reasons for your defeat. First of all, you shouldn’t have accepted our challenge to a match you had nothing to gain from.

I bet wanting to show off in front of your fans played a part in that, but it’s also just not in your nature to laugh it off when someone picks a fight with you, so this outcome was, well, inevitable.

But you know, even a professional martial artist can suffer an embarrassing defeat against a mere layman if he’s completely unprepared, both mentally and physically. All the more so if his opponent is armed with a knife… a weapon.

Kohaku: (Ah, looks like Madara-han was thinkin’ roughly the same thing as me. So he was fully aware that he was swingin’ his sword at an unarmed person —)

(A far cry from how someone who fights fer justice is s’pposed to act.)

(Well, we ain’t on the side of justice, though. The first time we stood on stage together as Double Face, we established that we’re just the “slightly lesser evil”.)

(So, like the villains we are, we’ll do anything to win.)

(Right after Valkyrie accepted our challenge, I went an’ abducted Kagehira Mika-han in secret, ta put some distance between the two. Although he probably doesn’t even realize himself that he was abducted —)

(Before our bout, on the pretense of wantin’ ta touch up my make-up, I asked ‘im to show me the way to the dressing room, actin’ like I didn’t know the layout of the place since I’m new at this.)

(Kagehira-han, bein’ the soft soul he is, intended to be kind to a junior from his agency — An’ so he nonchalantly left the stage.)

(At that time — an’ it really was just a moment — Madara-han shot down Shu-han.)

(While me an’ Kagehira-han were away, he started the bout an’ brought it to a quick end. He exchanged the audience members under the pretense of wantin’ a fair match —)

(And instead filled the arena with fans who favored him, before startin’ a 1-on-1 fight with Shu-han.)

(‘Course, Shu-han couldn’t back out of it at that point, since his pride would never let him pull out of a challenge he’d declared accepted.)

(He can’t even argue that he didn’t agree to the audience members being exchanged, since it was his own blunder not to ask about the details of the match before acceptin’ it.)

(Furthermore, compared to Madara-han who’s been solo all this time, Shu-han ain’t used to carryin’ a performance by himself.)

(On top o’ that, it’s usually a characteristic of Valkyrie to construct elaborate stages ta perform on, but the battle called fer ‘im ta improvise a song right off the bat instead —)

(Despite all of this, it seems like he put up quite the fight.)

(Still, in the end, as is customary fer DreamFes’, the audience votes decided the outcome, an’ they declared Madara-han — an’ by association, Double Face — the winner.)

(But that’s only natural. There was no way in hell Shu-han was gonna win, what with how ‘is strong points all got crushed an’ he was forced inta this situation against his will.)

(No matter how mighty Valkyrie are as idols, there’s just no way they’re so overwhelmingly strong as ta be undefeatable come rain or come shine.)

(Couldn’t say if it’s ‘cause ya’ll were intoxicated by all yer past success or what, but y’all forgot about this simple fact, an’ that’s the reason ya lost.)

Location: Meeting Room

- Early October. Following the holding of the Antique Market, right after the interview with Hidaka Hokuto -



Hokuto: Hm. Well, I guess this is the extent of what I can tell you.

I’m sorry that it was nothing but stuff everyone already knows.

But since you’re relying on me here, I’d like to be more helpful than this. If you’re investigating the Antique Market, let me lend you a hand—

Nagisa: ……Wouldn’t you only get in her way? Even more so since your words are always so gaudy and crass.

……You’re not well suited to an investigation, are you, Hockey Mask-kun?

Hokuto: Ran Nagisa— 

— -senpai. I’ve said this time and time again: don’t call me “Hockey Mask”.

Nagisa: ……A mask is not that easy to tear off once it’s been donned.

……I’m sure you of all people understand that all too well, seeing as you’re that delightful clown’s favorite pupil.

Hokuto: ………

Nagisa: ……Well, no matter. Ibara has crammed my schedule full of work recently, saying, “Nothing good ever comes of giving His Excellency excessive free time”.

……I’m a busy man, so let’s get this conversation over with quickly.

Hokuto: Hmm. First you spoke to me, and now it’s Ran… -senpai’s turn, Anzu? Now that I think of it, I do recall seeing him at the Antique Market.

Nagisa: ……Yes. Some things happened regarding Father’s inheritance, so I felt it necessary to be there in person.

……Besides, I’ve always loved enigmatic things such as ancient relics and antiques.

……They’re filled with mystery, history, and value. I don’t intend to become a collector, but since I know so little about them, they never fail to catch my interest.

……In any case, what I am about to say isn’t meant for just anyone’s ears, so remove yourself from the premises at once, “Hokuto-kun”. And don’t even think about trying to eavesdrop.



Hokuto: ……… (Looks imploringly at Anzu)

Nagisa: ……Making those eyes won’t work either. Why don’t you grow up a little, Hokuto-kun? Well, I suppose this childishness is Trickstar’s charm point, in a way.

Hokuto: Hrgh, just remember that I’ll be on stand-by just out of earshot of this conversation the whole time!

If this guy tries anything, just shout as loud as you can, Anzu! I’ll come and save you, no matter what!

(Hokuto leaves.)

Nagisa: ……I wasn’t even going to do anything.

……He’s quite overprotective. Maybe Trickstar sees you as their “Ohii-san”, Anzu-san? 

……Well, I suppose it doesn’t matter. In any case, I already know what you want me to tell you, Anzu-san.

……To be honest, I thought as hard as I could to surmise it.

……Let me get straight to the point: I can tell you almost nothing. There are too many details that you are not to know, and it’d be contrary to my intentions if I were to put you at risk by disclosing them to you.

……If you were to receive even a single scratch, Hokuto-kun would curse my lineage for generations to come.

……Indeed. And that’s why I don’t believe I will be of much help to you.

……The reason why I came in spite of this is that I’m here in someone’s defense.

……That someone is the origin of this case, Ibara. He, who is my companion, has become the target of Double Face.

……And that was the beginning of everything. Do you have an understanding of why Ibara was targeted?

……Yes. In the course of adorably and happily playing the villain, Ibara has incurred the wrath and fear of an unspecified yet large number of people.

……Due to this, someone out there has begun trying to eliminate him.

—That’s basically, the premise here.

……It’s a proven fact that this is his surroundings’ reaction to him, and I don’t intend to revise it either. I am merely stating it as the premise for what I am about to say.

……I’m sure you’re already aware, but the ones who were tasked with Ibara’s disposal were Double Face.

……The janitors, assassins, secret police of the idol industry. Well, people are free to define them as they like.

……People of their kind already existed back in Father’s day, but it’s rare for them to do it as a side business alongside being an idol.

……I don’t know whose idea this was, but I find them intriguing.

……During these recent events, they were driven by their need to emphasize this “face they show the public”. Makes one curious as to what their next move will be, doesn’t it?

……Well, let’s leave that aside for now. In order to hunt Ibara, Double Face tried to make use of a certain problem that has been plaguing him recently.

……They tried to strike his weak point. And this weak point in question was… Valkyrie.

……As mighty as they are, they’re difficult to handle. They’re quite a peculiar weapon in our — CosPro’s — arsenal.

…...But now that I say it, I am reminded that Crazy:B and 2wink are just as peculiar. I suppose Ibara is fond of weapons like that.

……Perhaps he is under the impression that frontal attacks won’t lead to victory.

……In any case. Valkyrie has, until recently, been suffering from a great problem.

……To be more specific, it appears as though Kagehira Mika-kun found himself in need of a large amount of money.

……I don’t know whether it was because he couldn’t bear to see Mika-kun like that, or because Mika-kun asked him to do so, but Ibara assigned him a great number of jobs.

……I believe Ibara’s desire to have Valkyrie, who usually focus only on their artistry, do a lot of work, must have played a part in it too.

……Also, we are idols, not artists. Being willing to do anything is the foundation of our trade.

……Which is exactly why Ibara gave Mika-kun a lot of jobs that Valkyrie usually wouldn’t do. Indecent and vulgar jobs… the type meant to cajole the public.

…...And because Mika-kun was doing these jobs he wasn’t used to doing, he became fatigued.

……Then, due to his worrying about his partner who was off his game, Shu-kun’s condition was thrown into disarray as well.

……Not that he himself would ever admit this, but Shu-kun really has been acting strange lately, hasn’t he? He’s been taking actions that are uncharacteristic for him.

……This confused their fans, which in turn led to Valkyrie losing its foothold entirely.

…...And that is where Double Face aimed their attack.

……Hm? You want to know why Double Face would do such a thing?

……I’m not them, so I don’t know what the truth is. But there have been suspicious transfers of money between Ibara and Valkyrie as of late.

……Ibara must have been giving Mika-kun, who was hurting for money, personal loans.

……Having caught the scent of something illegal, something evil — the hounds made their move.

……That’s how I would explain the events. Ibara is usually so well prepared that using a roundabout method like this one is the only way to cause his downfall.

……And there were, in fact, transfers that were illegal, or at the very least suspicious.

……At the Antique Market held to dispose of GFK’s inheritance, Shu-kun put his family’s cherished antiques up for sale.

……Money laundering… is unlikely to be his goal in this, though.

……But it appears that some trouble arose on the occasion of these trades. The situation seems to have gone so far that the police were on the verge of intervening.

……There was something suspicious about this. Thus, Double Face sniffed out the exact source of this dubious scent, and that’s where they struck.

……Thanks to them carelessly striking Valkyrie, the darkness from the depths of society that everyone had been trying to keep hidden suddenly gushed forth.

……That’s what this case is about. But since Ibara is involved, I am sure people are going to simply blame it all on him and call him the mastermind behind all of this.

……But he didn’t cause any mischief this time around. He only tried to help his fellow idols from the same agency as him, Valkyrie. All he did was facilitate jobs and lend them funds for this reason.

……I would like you to keep this in mind, because I am saying it in defense of him:

……Ibara may have been Double Face’s target, but he is not the “evil” in this incident by any means.

Location: Inside the Night Club



Kohaku: Oh well. I know you ain’t got nothing to do, but that’s no good reason ta try an’ do Double Face activities just ta kill some time.

Not sure I should be sayin’ this myself, but Double Face’s a potent poison. When we spring inta action, there’ll definitely be victims. Nah, in fact there wouldn’t even be a point ta it if there weren’t any.

Ya don’t seriously believe that our unit could partake in the same kinda sparkly idol activities as other units, do ya?

Madara: Of course not. A bomb can’t do anything but explode violently — That’s the kind of unit we are.

It goes without saying that I didn’t come here just to kill some time.

The only time Double Face takes action is when there’s an unforgivable evil in this world and we’re entrusted with its execution.

Kohaku: So what yer tellin’ me is, our vice prez or someone of his caliber’s sent us another commission, tellin’ us to erase a certain someone — Not that we’re a handy-dandy eraser straight outta some pencil case, though.

Madara: Nah, our client this time isn’t Ibara-san.

For one thing, Double Face isn’t signed with CosPro, but with NewDi, and for another, we should consider the Marble Cast affair an exception rather than the rule.

We’ll take commissions from any client. I don’t want us to turn into something like Ibara-san’s private army — and in fact, that’s exactly why this commission is worth accepting.

Kohaku: ? Whaddaya tryna say?

Madara: I can’t tell you our client’s identity, but our target this time is our old friend Ibara-san, you see.

Kohaku: So we’re gonna kill him, huh. Well, I already reckoned we’d hafta off that guy sooner or later anyhow.

Madara: Nah, taking his life is only the last resort. For now, we’ve gotta investigate and figure out what to charge Ibara-san with — We’ve gotta determine whether he’s evil or not.

Kohaku: That’s what this is all about? That fella’s obviously evil, case closed.

Madara: Hahaha. Kohaku-san, could it be that you hate Ibara-san? I actually like him pretty well. And as long as someone like him is playing the bad guy, the heroes can put their best foot forward, too ♪

Kohaku: I’d prefer if there weren’t any bad guys around, then the two of us could take it easy.

But I reckon as long as human nature remains less than virtuous, we won’t run outta jobs ta do. Ugh, what a pain it is ta live in such a crapsack world.

Madara: Hahaha! Double Face, going into overtime…!

Kohaku: I don’t wannaaa. There’s corrupt business every which where — Maybe that’s what they call “inheritin’ yer parents’ sins”, although that’s probably our own fault for havin’ such crappy everyday behaviour.*

Location: Saison Avenue (Night)



Madara: Mhmhmh~mh ♪ We’ll expose it~ with our unclouded~, mhmhmhhh ♪**

Kohaku: ...Didn’t expect ya to get such a kick outta doin’ Double Face activities.

Madara: Doing fun stuff is always a good time! It may have been voluntary, but I still spent sooo long doing activities all by myself, right? That’s why I’m simply happy to get to do stuff together with someone else for once!



Kohaku: ‘S that so? Ya went an’ chose a thorny path fer yourself there —  humans are herd animals after all.

Well, whatever. Ya said there was a need for us ta head to the scene of the crime on the double, so, left with no other choice, I went an’ got on the back of yer bike with you.

But I’ve gotta say, I still don’t have the slightest idea what all this is about.

I’m not askin’ ya to tell me absolutely all that ya know without keepin’ any secrets, but the least ya could do is give me a summary here. I’m not gonna run off anymore, promise.

Madara: Sure. The premise is as follows — We, as Double Face, are a scandal disposal service. Like the Producer Association, we’re here to resolve conflicts across all agencies.

I guess you could say that the Producer Association deals with what’s on the surface, and Double Face is the other side of the same coin.

Kohaku: Yeah, at least that’s the public stance on why our unit was formed. Reckon our role’s something in the vein of an internal audit or secret police.

Madara: Uh-huh. But as of right now, we’ve only shown ourselves at Marble Cast so far.

And it seems like, based on only that single case, people are starting to think of us as Ibara-san’s chess pieces to use as he sees fit.

Kohaku: Back then that guy basically had Crazy:B under his thumb, after all…

So the deal at the time was, if I did as I was told by Ibara-han just that once, he was gonna help us break outta the dilemma we were in.

Madara: From an impartial observer’s perspective, all we did was get rid of GFK on Ibara-san’s orders because he was a thorn in his side.

And since we aren’t about to leak the actual details of our activities to the public, there’s no way for us to dispel this misunderstanding.

Anyway. Due to how far this interpretation of the events spread, Ibara-san is actually being watched rather carefully from all sides himself right now — 

And there are credible-sounding rumors making their rounds that hint at Ibara-san trying to use Double Face to establish a reign of terror.

Kohaku: What bullcrap. He ain’t got what it takes fer that.

Madara: You’re so harsh towards Ibara-san… In any case, it’s not hatred or ambition that starts wars.

It’s terror. The fear of being assaulted, of being killed. Once in the clutches of this fear, humans will abandon all reason and become mere animals that kill before they’re killed.

And right now, the source of this fear in the industry is Double Face — and by extension, Ibara-san, who is believed to be the one controlling us.

Of course we know what he’s really like, so it’s obvious to us that this is all complete crock.

But there seem to be many people in the industry, especially outside of ES, who are beside themselves with fear and vigilance right now.

Kohaku: So what yer sayin’ is, one of ‘em folks who’re shakin’ in fear wants Ibara-han obliterated?

Madara: That’s not entirely accurate, but you get the general gist of the situation.

There are people who want to somehow cause the fall and elimination of Ibara-san for wielding the tyrannical, lethal weapon that is Double Face.

Kohaku: No need to hire a pro fer that, I reckon if ya leave that fella to his own devices he’s gonna self-destruct in due time anyway.

Didn’tcha see how disgraceful he was durin’ Bogie Time? I just about split my sides watchin’ that go down.

Madara: Hahaha. Actually, I was more worried that incident might’ve caused Ibara-san to develop radically.

The moment one is stripped of their armor, and one’s flesh and blood is exposed to the world for the first time — that’s when one’s true worth and strength comes to light.

And judging from what I saw, Ibara-san is probably much stronger than we thought.

That said, Kohaku-san’s impression is the one shared by the majority of the public. And thanks to that, people currently think of Ibara-san as a small fry that’s easy to overthrow.

And that’s why they’re going after him now. That’s what all this is about.

Kohaku: Hmm. Well, it’s normal for those who’ve shown weakness to find themselves at the receivin’ end of harassment.

No matter how much we pride ourselves on developin’ civilization an’ enlightenment as mankind, we haven’t actually evolved that much since back when we were animals.

Madara: Yup. Anyhow, Ibara-san’s only being targeted because people think this is a good chance to bring him down. And unfortunately for him, he has his own little problem to deal with right now, too.

And that’s where we’re gonna strike. Because it’s our duty as Double Face to get rid of evil, no matter what despicable measures we have to resort to to accomplish that.

Kohaku: So, what’s this problem of his all about? I had the impression that Ibara-han was the type to skillfully deal with anything that may get in his way, y’know — 

He managed ta push all the blame fer the turmoil back in summer on us Crazy:B too, leavin’ us ta deal with the fall-out on our own.

Madara: True. But there’s something even Ibara-san can’t handle. And it erupted at the worst possible time for him.

The problem itself is a singularity from Ibara-san’s CosPro — the personified, difficult-to-handle work of art that is Valkyrie.


—————————

* Kohaku is using a phrase he used before in the Double Face unit event. This is only my personal guess, but it could be that this is a line he heard from his parents a lot and now he’s parroting it: “(X is your own fault because) you always misbehave.”

** Madara is humming =EYE=.

Guest translation by Soup

Location: Meeting Room

Early October. In the ES Building Meeting Room, immediately following the holding of the Antique Market.



Hokuto: What did you want to ask me, Anzu?

In all honesty, I’m exhausted, so could you keep it brief? Really, I’d love to talk with you till the night starts to lighten up, but as I am right now, I can’t. How frustrating.

The other day, I performed at an event called Antique Market with my father, but even before and after that, I ran into all sorts of issues that just chipped away at my spirit—

I know I’m not exactly in the best of moods right now, and I’m afraid I’ll lash out at you, so I wanted you to avoid approaching me if possible.

Right now, I feel like I’ll explode like a bomb if I’m given even a little bit of provocation.

“No, you’re always like that,” hm? Is that so?

Well then there’s no problem, I can still talk to you as “my usual self.”

I feel like you’ve been distant lately, so a conversation would be very welcome right now.

Fufu… Hmm, the thing you wanted to ask me about was related to the Antique Market I mentioned just now, right?

”There’s something I absolutely need to know, so I’ve been asking everyone involved,”?

I see…so I’m not the only one… But I’m happy you came to ask me about it first. Mm.

Well, nevermind that. We, Trickstar, are willing to do anything for our precious friend. Ask me anything, I won’t hide any answers.

Fufu, yes. It’s always been my duty to explain these sorts of things to you.

That said, I only have a small connection to the Antique Market. My father forced me to go and help him there without telling me why.

Mm. “I want you to tell me about the things your father told you, no matter how unimportant”? You’re not usually this frantic, Anzu.

...Did something happen?

Please feel free to talk to me if you have any sort of worries. Even if I have to cooperate with that annoying father of mine and Tenshouin-senpai, I’ll still put in the effort for you.

Mhm. “I’m the one asking you questions,” hm?

That’s right, but please don’t forget that we’ll always be on your side.

Huh? “That’s why I didn’t want you to get too involved this time around,” hm?

I don’t really understand, but in any case, we should just talk about the Antique Market for the time being, right?

I thought it’d be me who’d be acting strangely, so it worries me that you’re the one acting like this instead.

First, I’m sure you know this already, but I’ll summarize what it was. The Antique Market was an event held the other day in the outdoor space near ES .

To be more precise, it seems like some parts of the ES building were opened to the public, and you could go in to look at merchandise sales or theatrical performances.

I haven’t been there myself, so I don’t know too much.

The basic foundation for the Antique Market was selling antiques, as its name suggested.

Apparently, a certain industry leader has disappeared, and a vast amount of his inheritance — or something like that — seems to have circulated around in the market.

I don’t think his death has been confirmed, but perhaps the inheritance was taken as collateral for a debt?

Aren’t those circumstances something you’re more familiar with than me? You’re kind of like that industry leader, being a Producer.

It’s the same type of job, and in the same kind of place too, so I expected that you would have heard more about it.

Mm. Is that so? I’ll omit the circumstances around that, then.

How should I say it... I don’t really know much about the leader who seems to be known as GFK, so I can’t say much about that matter in the first place.

Anyway, as the name suggests, many people came to buy, sell, and preview— or rather, scope out, the antiques in the preliminary exhibition.

Thus, a variety of performances were prepared to entertain every last one of them.

For us idols, the role of “entertainer”, so to speak, is as familiar as everyday business.

Numerous units were invited to stand onstage to delight the eyes of the people with displays of all sorts of skills.

Naturally, we average idols don’t know much about antiques, so we leave the marketing and explanations all to the specialized staff instead.

But because of that, we do our best to entertain the guests to the fullest.

Well, that’s just what an idol does.

Mhm. Among those idols, Valkyrie is the one that stood out.

They didn’t just take the stage, they also assisted in the marketing for the antiques as well.

Antiques are works of art that dilettantes pursue, something that suits a unit like Valkyrie.

As a matter of fact, they seemed quite popular, and I hear they only gained more new fans from Antique Market.

If they hadn’t gotten tangled up with that strange unit Double Face, Antique Market would have certainly held many wonderful memories for Valkyrie.
 

Location: Inside the Labyrinth

- A short while after the beginning of the treasure hunt -



Niki: Oh boy, how much longer ‘til I get my beef tongues~? I can’t wait!

They’re inside a Golden Treasure Chest, right? That means it should be sparkling golden and super easy to see!

Kohaku: Niki-han, can ya drop the beef tongue thing already? Yer ruinin’ the tense atmosphere.

Keep in mind that we’re locked inside a labyrinth here, will ya.

HiMERU: Considering that it was the Vice President who prepared this, the beef tongues may be positioned close to the exit of the labyrinth, based on how the program is named after a cow-adjacent monster.

Kohaku: Not you too, HiMERU-han. Feels like yer lettin’ Niki-han coax ya into sayin’ moronic stuff.

HiMERU: Oh my. HiMERU was merely attempting a deduction based on the information we currently have.

— Well, Crazy:B has survived as a unit by circumventing the rules.

Since we’re unable to make use of this strong point of ours in this isolated environment we’re placed in, not a lot of the footage they get will be of much use.

Given that they intend to broadcast this as a variety show, Shiina’s thoughtless manner should work out well for that purpose.

Niki: Mean of you to call me thoughtless when I’m as serious as can be! There’s food on the line!

Speaking of which, I’m not the only one they prepared a Golden Treasure Chest for, right? What did you guys say you want?

Feels weird when I’m the only one who’s desperate, so spit it out already, guys ♪

Kohaku: Uhh… Bein’ put on the spot like this feels kinda embarrassing…

Well, since they’re recordin’ a variety show here, it’ll be a good chance fer the viewers to get ta know us.

The shame an’ nerves I’m feelin’ really fade away a bit from how unreserved you’re actin’, Niki-han.

As fer me, I answered that I want a travel coupon.

Ever since I left my family home, I’ve spent basically all o’ my time in the vicinity of ES. So I kinda started feelin’ like goin’ on a trip somewhere.

Niki: I see… Traveling’s a lot of fun, I agree!

What did you ask for, Rinne-kun? Though you seem the type to ask for cold, hard cash ...♪

Rinne: ………

Niki: Rinne-kun?

Actually, you’ve been weirdly quiet for a while now. Got a tummy ache?

Rinne: As if. More importantly, check this out… The mark on this wall, I mean.

Niki: Let’s see here… Oh, you’re right. On closer examination, there’s a cross mark scratched into it. ...Think it’s marking the location of a treasure chest?

Wow, that’s a great find, Rinne-kun! We’re one step closer to the treasure!

HiMERU: No. This mark — it doesn’t signify anything good. Judging from the traces of dirt, it must have been made fairly recently.

Niki: Huh?

Kohaku: Fairly recently… Are you sayin’ that someone who’s not part of our group made this cross mark?

Rinne: Nope. I was trailin’ behind the rest of you guys and left these marks as I went. Figured they’d come in handy if we wanted to retrace our steps later, but who would’ve guessed it’d come to this?

Kohaku: It felt like we’ve been walkin’ straight ahead all this time, so does this mean that the inside of this labyrinth is somehow slightly warped?

Rinne: You’ve got it. Just as you said, Kohaku-chan, it means that we’ve been walkin’ in circles all this time. Our Lil’ Snakeyboy is puttin’ his serpentine wisdom to good use ♪

Kohaku: I told ya to quit it with the “Kohaku-chan”. Don’t go crackin’ jokes just ‘cause yer in a good mood, Rinne-han, it’s a real pisser.

‘Sides, why’re ya in such high spirits at a time like this anyway, Rinne-han? They made us walk the same path over an’ over!

Rinne: Gyahahahaha ♪ What’s interesting to me is the very fact that we’ve been in the same situation the whole time ♪

Kohaku: Hah?

Rinne: Think it over. Lil’ Snakeyboy’s in a position where he could have directly set his hands on us, and yet he went through all the trouble of preparin’ this whole-ass labyrinth instead.

He could be causin’ us real harm, but instead he’s just doin’ this show… Get it?

Puttin’ in the other way around, this shows just how much he wants us to give it our all on this program.

Plannin’ this program, “Labyrinth of Minotaurus”, and even givin’ us these rewards…

At first I thought this was some kinda trap, but now I can tell that he doesn’t mean harm.

In fact, it’s like he conducted that whole interview in advance just to scrape together some freebies we’d like.

Even his twisted personality starts to seem adorable when I think of him as my junior. Haven’t you guys started to find our Lil’ Snakeyboy kinda cute, too? ♪ 

HiMERU: “Cute” is a strong word.

Although judging from the Vice President’s words and actions, as well as the contents of this labyrinth, HiMERU also believes that he isn’t trying to make us yield to him.

If anything, the natural conclusion would be that by bestowing Crazy:B rewards, he is trying to attain success in a much larger, separate plan.

Otherwise, the Vice President’s underhanded and treacherous — Ahem, HiMERU misspoke. His bold and innovative way of thinking should’ve culminated in a labyrinth that is filled to the brim with traps.

Kohaku: Now that ya say it, fer our Vice Prez-han, this sure is a mighty gentle setup he’s prepared here.

Sure it’s a prank, but it’s a setup the viewers are gonna be okay with. Meaning, it’s a layout that’s not impossible to beat or anything.

Rinne: Exactamundo. Now that we cleared that up, let’s walk another lap and choose the path that doesn’t have any cross marks on it yet.

Niki: Alright. I don’t really get what’s going on, but gotcha!

So, I’ll be following behind you guys! Guiding the way seems like a pain, so I’m leaving that up to you!