bakemonoremy

Location: Antique Market Venue

Seiya: So, in any case, the vast collection of antiques and such that GFK had been hoarding has now been seized.

Selling it all off and turning it into cash — that is the basic principle behind this Antique Market.

The proceeds will be temporarily collected and managed by us, the Producer Association, and then primarily be distributed to idols and agencies that are struggling financially, such as NewDi, at opportune times. So goes the plan.

The Producer Association may have a position akin to the leading powers of the United Nations, but in reality, seeing as they don’t employ idols, they don’t really have ways to make income.

For what it’s worth, I’m affiliated with them as their watchdog, but I don’t have the slightest desire for my hard work to end up as money in their pockets.

Hokuto: Why not? The Producer Association takes the role of mediators, so isn’t it better the more money and influence they have to work with?

You don’t feel like furthering the cause of contributing to peaceful relations?

Seiya: I really don’t! Political stuff like that doesn’t interest me. As long as the people I love and I are happy, that’s all I need!

It’s really of no concern to me whether complete strangers are suffering and dying.

Hokuto: Even if you mean it, that’s still not something you should say in front of a child. Makes me doubt your sensibilities.

Seiya: Having sensibilities is nothing but a nuisance. If you want to become a real idol like me, go ahead and get rid of yours as soon as possible and become a machine whose only function is “being an idol”.

Hokuto: No thanks. I’ll never become like you, no matter what.

Seiya: Ahaha. Well, that’s fine by me. If all of humanity became like me, that’d be a boring state of affairs anyhow.

In such a world, the idol occupation would disappear for sure.

Hokuto: I’d also hate for the world to become a sci-fi-like place where humanity has fallen to ruin and only machines are left. How rare for us to share an opinion.

Seiya: Yet opinions are the extent of what we share. Fufufu.

In any case, the point is… As an impartial arbitral institution, the Producer Association is trying to get their hands on the weapon known as economic clout through the holding of this Antique Market.

No one listens to a referee who doesn’t hold any power, after all. It’s only because they have the power to send people off the field with a red card that everyone obeys their instructions.

There’s no use in a system that banks on the innate goodness of man to function. And why? Because even now, humans have yet to become beings that possess complete innate goodness.

If you think it over logically, this much should be obvious, but for some reason people prefer to dream instead.

Hokuto: That’s because other people aren’t robots like you, who couldn’t dream even if he wanted to.

Seiya: How cheeky of you, Robot #2~. My mother-in-law may have installed a conscience circuit in you, but if you ask me, that’s a rather cruel thing to do to someone.

Hokuto: Don’t badmouth Grandma. I’ll kill you.

Seiya: I can’t believe you’d say that to your own parent~! This is what they call the darkness of modern society, hm? Oh, how very deplorable.

Hokuto: Yet it’s alright with you to call your own child a robot? And I’m late with this retort, but what on earth is a conscience circuit.

Seiya: Oh, I guess young people these days wouldn’t know that, huh? A looong time ago, there was a superhero character with that kind of gimmick*.

That really was a first-rate gimmick. Since tokusatsu shows are primarily aimed at children, the logic in them has to be exceedingly simple to understand.

Monsters who have a flame sac as an internal organ can breathe fire**, robots with a conscience circuit installed can act according to a good conscience.

What a crystal clear explanation that is.

And people use this expectation of someone having a conscience as a foundation for their contrivances — Perhaps it’s like placing salt on your doorstep to ward off evil spirits.

(chuckles) In other words, it’s good for a laugh, but effectively useless.

Hokuto: Your sense of humor is beyond me.

Seiya: Of course it is. That’s because when you were a baby, I never smiled back at you. I wasn’t on stage, after all.

Children learn to laugh by observing their parents’ laughter. But since you never learned this from me, the timing of your laughter is different from mine. That’s all there is to it.

Hokuto: Why do you always have to analyze and explain every little thing like this? It’s irritating.

Seiya: Fufu. That’s because everyone only ever tilts their heads in confusion, saying they don’t understand a thing, even though I explain my logic to them from A to Z.

If they still don’t understand it after that, it must be because they don’t want to understand, right?

Maybe they want their hearts and souls to not just be simple physical reactions to stimuli, but something more mystical than that.

There are plenty of trades in this world that make use of such people’s faith and expectations.

The antiques set up at this market surely also carry their high price tags based on these very same unstable foundations.

These tattered old lumps of earth and ink-stained scraps of paper, being sold at higher prices than convenient machines that are actually good for something…

It’s all because the vendors are exploiting a bug in the brain’s functionality that is peculiar to humans in order to rake in the cash. How is that, do you understand this Antique Market now?

Hokuto: Yeah, I definitely understand now that it was a mistake to ask you for an explanation. You’re an idol, so how come you have to say things that are so utterly devoid of hopes and dreams?

Seiya: That’s because I’m off the clock right now.

My manner of speaking always has to shine brightly while I’m at work — so at least on my days off, when I speak to my son, I’d like to choose different conversational topics.

Hokuto: Hmph. If you only called me here for this “reverse famservice***”, then I don’t feel any obligation to stick around. See you.

Seiya: Now, now, hold on just a second. Truth be told, there is something I’d like to ask you to do for me. A request.

Well, I may call it a “request” for politeness’s sake, but since you don’t actually have the right to refuse it, it’d be more apt to call it an “order”.

Hokuto: What is this all about…? What is this order? Are you going to make me kill someone?

Seiya: Just what kind of person do you think I am?

Hokuto: The worst kind of parent, why?

Seiya: Very well, as long as you think of me as your parent in one way or another, it’s all fine and dandy. Because I require you to function as “Hidaka Seiya’s son” in this matter.

Hokuto: ………?