bakemonoremy

Location: Antique Market Venue

- Reminiscing. One week after Valkyrie and Double Face clashed, on the day of the Antique Market -

Seiya: Hoccha~n! Your Papa’s here~♪

Hokuto: — Hello, is this the police? I was just approached by a suspicious person claiming to be my father.

Seiya: Ahaha. This would be quite the hilarious joke coming from anyone else, but since it’s you, I bet you’re actually reporting me to the authorities, so it’s not funny.

Alright, I’ll be confiscating that phone now ♪

Hokuto: Hey, give it back! You thief!

Seiya: As your father, your belongings are my belongings. Also — and this applies to your earlier statement as well — you really shouldn’t go around treating other people like they’re criminals at the drop of a hat.

Of course, seeing as my team of lawyers is excellent, I’ll be completely fine, but it’s you that I’m worried about. What if my fans take you to court for character assassination?

Hokuto: If I get sued, just lend me your team of lawyers. As your son, your belongings are my belongings, after all.

Seiya: Ah, hey, Honey? Just now, Hocchan finally acknowledged me as his father! We’re poppin’ bottles tonight!

How’s that! I bet you’re green with envy, hm? But even when you’re vexed, you’re still the most charming person in the whole universe! I love you!

Hokuto: Don’t have such disgusting conversations with your wife on the phone that you stole from your own son!

Seiya: Hocchan! Your mom has been wanting a younger brother or sister for you; do you happen to have any requests regarding their date of birth or name?

I’ll do everything within my power to aim for the season you’d like them to be born in! I’m an idol, after all ♪

Hokuto: Don’t do it! Don’t bring any more victims into this world to suffer like I have!

Really, what’s the matter with you…? You just seem to be getting more and more unpleasant every time I see you, shouldn’t you have hit rock bottom by now?

Seiya: Ahaha ♪ Who do you take me for? I’m the one and only active duty super idol in the whole world, you know? Also, I’m your father!

Hokuto: And if it wasn’t for that last part, I might’ve had a shot at going through life with a slightly more tranquil heart.

Anyway, that’s hardly the matter at hand here. More importantly, Dad — Why did you ask me to meet you all of a sudden? Why aren’t you dead?

Seiya: Of course, that’s because my wife and fans want me to live.

Hokuto: No one asked!

Seiya: You just did. You sure take after your mother, what with how you forget the things you said yourself mere seconds after saying them~.

Recognizing traces of my beloved wife within you has deepened my affection towards you. Congratulations.

Hokuto: Thanks, I don’t need it. If you have nothing worthwhile to say to me, I’ll be taking my leave now; I’ve got my own matters to attend to.

Seiya: The poor can’t afford rest, as they say.

…You guys have seemed a bit spiritless lately, is everything okay? Want Papa to throw some work your way?

Hokuto: I don’t need that either. There’s not a single thing I’d accept from your hands whatsoever.

Seiya: I don’t mind. Even if you don’t accept them, I’ll keep pouring them on you anyway. That’s what people mean when they say the love of a parent knows no reward; I’ll keep delivering it to you unsolicitedly no matter how many times it is returned to sender.

Hokuto: Ugh, can someone please come assassinate this guy—

Seiya: Fufu. In any case, I’ve had enough of messing with my little Hocchan, so let me explain the situation.

You see, I didn’t ask you to meet me on a mere whim this time around.

Have a look around you, Hocchan. Right now, there’s an Antique Market taking place on this green area around ES.

Hokuto: Hmm. Indeed, that’s what the banners around here say. “Autumn Antique Market”, huh — Although I don’t recall there having been one in spring or summer.

Seiya: Of course you don’t. Apparently, this is ES’s first time taking this venture.

But, well, their ulterior motive is probably that if the publicity turns out well they’ll stage these in irregular intervals from now on.

Hokuto: I see. So they want to establish this as a seasonal event, like SakuraFes.

Seiya: Well, if you ask me, that’s not going to happen~. The clientele is too different; young idol-loving people these days aren’t going to be interested in things like antiques.

Hokuto: I wouldn’t be so sure of that. I, for one, like them quite a bit; things like traditionally handcrafted items that have endured time.

Seiya: In your case, that must be due to my mother-in-law’s influence… Or actually, Hocchan, I think it’d do you some good to be a little more self-aware about being an exceptional person.

Hokuto: Thanks to two certain someones, I get to realize that over and over again every day of my life.

No, that’s not right. It’s the opposite, actually. Because of you two, it’s as if I can’t see myself as someone special in the slightest.

Seiya: Ahaha! What a burden it is to have such outstanding parents! I can sympathize with that, and I appreciate the praise — Hocchan ♪

Hokuto: I wasn’t praising you. Get to the point, and skip the unnecessary remarks.

Seiya: Fiiine. The principal goal of this Antique Market is the disposal of GFK’s inheritance — That certain industry heavyweight who went missing the other day.

It appears that he hoarded an impressive stockpile through quite unscrupulous means, so his inheritance must make up a vast share of the market.

Hokuto: GFK… I feel like I hear that name from time to time, but who exactly is he?

Seiya: Who knows? I have no interest in him. In order to avoid getting tangled up in something unsavoury like “Akehoshi-kun” did, I always made sure not to get involved with anything in the vicinity of that “God”*.

You could say that’s how I’ve survived this long.

———————-

* For new readers who missed out on ! lore: when Seiya says “Akehoshi-kun” he means Subaru’s deceased father, not Subaru. The “God” he mentions is the person Nagisa calls “father”, and who’s otherwise known as “the Godfather” of idols.