Night Club - Prologue v2

[bakemonoremy]

Location: Café “Cinnamon”

- In the middle of September, at Café “Cinnamon”, which has become Crazy:B’s hang-out spot -



Rinne: Alright, that’s ron! Thirteen orphans! You’re finished, Niki~, that’s what you get for discardin’ your tiles all willy-nilly, idiot! Gyahahaha ☆

Niki: Wh-, hey! Why’re you only focusing your attacks on me, Rinne-kun!? This was supposed to be a match between you and HiMERU-kun!

You only got me involved against my will ‘cause you didn’t have enough people otherwise! I don’t even know the rules!

Kohaku: Same here. Humhum, I guess Mahjong is all ‘bout collectin’ the same kindsa tiles, right? ‘Reckon I’ve got it figured out more or less~, ko ko ko ♪

Rinne: Nah, actually the match is over. Poor Niki’s all bankrupt now, which means that in compliance with Crazy:B’s Mahjong rules, we’re gonna turn him into a baldy!

Niki: Baldy!? What the hell d'you mean by that?

Wh—  Eeek! What’re you doing with those hair clippers, Rinne-kun!?

Rinne: Gyahahaha! I’m gonna shave ya! Gonna shave ya aaall bald!

Good for ya, Niki! Now you don't gotta worry about keepin’ ya hair outta your cooking anymore!

Niki: Huh? Actually, I’d appreciate that.

Rinne: That’s what I thought! I've always got my beloved Niki's best interests at heart, y’know!

So quit resistin’! It’s time for you to become the New Sensation ☆ Bald Idol who bursts onto the scene and takes the world by storm! Gyahahaha!

Niki: Eeeeh!? So you’re not gonna lemme quit being an idol even if I’m bald!? Then I've got nothing to gain here! What a waste of hair!

Rinne: Shaddup! If you gained somethin’ from it, it wouldn’t be a punishment game, now would it!

So quit your bitchin’ and moanin’ and lemme shave ya already! No more seducin’ me by flashin’ your nape from beneath your long hair — that shit ends today!

Niki: Nonono, I don’t remember ever seducing you at all, Rinne-kun! You’re just getting turned on all on your own, aren’t you~!?

HiMERU: —As usual, the two of you are displaying a conduct that is beyond inappropriate for idols.

HiMERU is shocked speechless. Could you at least keep it together while you’re out in public?

Niki: Ah, you think so too, right!? First of all, this is my part-time workplace!

People come here to relax~, so I really wish you wouldn’t turn this into Crazy:B’s hang-out spot!

Rinne: Aah? I’m free to sit down for a meal anywhere I like. Also, what has this so-called “public” ever done for us?

Are we just gonna let them treat us like this forever?

They stuck labels like “troublemakers” on us, sayin’ “This world doesn’t need people like you, you’re a nuisance and a bother”...

Do we have to put up with them kickin’ our asses and chasin’ us away whenever and wherever they like?

Niki: U-uu~?

Um, so in other words, the way you hang out in cute cafés like a complete hoodlum playing mahjong is all part of your rebellion against this unjust society...?

That’s all your way of declaring that you refuse to be silently devoured!?

Kohaku: Give it up, Niki-han. That guy’s all hat and no cattle. All he’s good at it takin’ yer complaints and explaining ‘em away with his sophistry.

Here’s what’cha gotta do: outright reject every word he says and show physical resistance.

Rinne: Eh~? How mean~, talk to your lonely ol’ pops, will ya~? Is widdle Kohaku-chwan in his webellious phase~?

Are you already at that age where you don’t wanna take baths with your papa anymore~?*

Kohaku: …….... (He flicks a mahjong tile in Rinne’s direction)

Rinne: Ouch!? He really practices what he preaches; he didn’t listen to a word I said and resorted to physical violence!

If that’s how it’s gonna be, I won’t go easy on you either! I’ll show ya the difference in physical strength between an adult and a kid!

I’ll whoop your ass! And then I’ll make you wear cute kitty ears and call me “My Master ♪”!

Kohaku: I’ll kill ya before you get the chance.

Niki: Please! Stop causing a ruckus at my workplace~!

The manager keeps looking at me with a face that says “Niki-kun, we’re going to have a talk about this later ♪”, y’know~!?

HiMERU: —Good grief.

HiMERU may have accompanied you out of courtesy, but if all you’re going to do is waste his time with your silly games, HiMERU is going to take his leave now.

As HiMERU already told you the other day, he’s currently the focus of a solo project, just as he was in the past.

That means HiMERU doesn’t have a lot of time on hand to allocate to you people.

Rinne: Aah? Didn’t I tell ya I’m not givin’ you my permission for that? It was rejected on authority of Crazy:B’s leader!

And I gave ya my reasons for why I’m not allowin’ any solo gigs, too! You’re a smart one, Merumeru, so you should’ve gotten the message, right?

HiMERU: —HiMERU did get the message, but he didn’t give his assent. Therefore, HiMERU won’t abide by it.

Rinne: Gyahaha! Quarrelin’ about it didn’t lead to an agreement, and that’s why we decided whoever won this mahjong showdown was gonna be in the “right”**, didn’t we?

I thinned out the small fry and emerged victorious, so you gotta abide by the agreement and take my word as law!

Niki: Hey, don’t call the small fry “Niki-kun”!

Kohaku: Ain’t that backwards?

Niki: Nahaha ♪ But small fry are edible, so aren’t they way more useful than I am?

Kohaku: Yer real servile sometimes, Niki-han. Gives me the creeps whenever I can sense the darkness in yer heart.

HiMERU: —HiMERU would never agree to abide by the results of something so unbefitting of idols as a mahjong showdown in the first place.

—Don’t think that everyone will always just move the way you like, Amagi.

Rinne: ………

Yuuta: Dammiiiiiit! Where are youuuuuuu! Resistance is futile, show yourseeeeelf!

Niki: Ooh? What is it this time? How come it’s always so noisy around us?

Kohaku: Don’t ask me.

Ain’t that kid from CosPro, too? From 2wink, or somethin’?

I heard they’re twins, but which one is he? He seems to be havin’ a right blast makin’ a fuss, so I’d wager it’s the cheerful older brother?

HiMERU: —It’s pointless to try and tell them apart based on that. This one is probably the younger one, “Aoi Yuuta”.

Kohaku: Huh, how can ya tell? HiMERU-han, ya know them twins?

HiMERU: You can tell just by looking, since they seem go out of their way to use codes to make it possible to tell them apart—Those two.

Yuuta: Aah, there you are! I did hear that Crazy:B turned this place into their hang-out spot recently—You wouldn’t happen to have a moment to spare for me, since there is something I very much need to speak with you about!?

Kohaku: How polite, considerin’ ya look like yer about to snap. What’s the matter? ‘S not like we did somethin’ to ya guys, did we?

Yuuta: You have no room to speak...! I thought you’d at least avoid setting your sights on someone from the same agency and let down my guard, but that was just naive of me!

You vermin will pierce just anybody with your poison stingers~!

Crazy:B! No, Amagi Rinne! Give me back my Aniki! Give me back “Hinata-kun”…!


———————

* In Japan, many parents take baths together with their children while they are young, but it’s normal for girls starting puberty to be ashamed to do this and refuse to do it, so this is a joke about that specifically.

** Rinne says “right answer” here, and since this story was written by Akira who also wrote Yuuta’s recent idol story and Setsubun where this expression keeps popping up, it’s quite likely that he’s picking up that theme again here. (Aoi family angst will follow soon enough.)