Honey Bee - Chapter 1

Location: Café “Cinnamon”

Rinne: Come on~... Hey, come on already~. Let’s do it, Niki~.

Niki: Ah, you decided on your order? ...One coffee, is it? Coming right up~♪

Welcome~♪

Rinne: Come ooon~. Don’t ignore me. Hey~, heeey~.

Niki: Gee~z. What did you suddenly show up here for, Rinne-kun. With Kohaku-chan and HiMERU-kun in tow, no less.

...Can’t you tell what I’m doing right now?

Rinne: Wastin’ your youth!

Niki: How is that your takeaway here!? No matter how you look at it, I’m working part-time at this café!

Rinne: Kyahaha ☆ And I’m sayin’ that’s a total waste, alright? The only thing that’s equally distributed to all people on earth is “time” after all!

Don’t spend it all on somethin’ like labor, it’s wasteful.

Anyhoo. How about you and I do somethin’ more productive instead ♪ Just bet all your chips (time) on me. You’re not gonna make a loss!

Niki: I wish you’d realize just how much every bit of time I’ve spent with you so far has been a loss on my part already.

So? I’ll ask just in case, but what is it that you say you wanna do, Rinne-kun?

Rinne: Clean your eyes and have a look-see! It’s a “property-trading board game”!

There’s no better game to build up the strength needed to survive the battlefield known as capitalism, right! And asset management is just another kinda gamble.

Niki: So that huge box you’re carrying has Mono*oly in it? Where’d you get that, anyway.

Rinne: I hit the jackpot at the pachinko parlor*. Made a total killin’. Even now I can’t stop laughin’ about it! Kyahahahaha ☆

I found that game among the prizes². Seemed interestin’, so I went and exchanged for it. Rather than workin’ your ass off, let’s do this instead! Niki-kun, play with me~♪

Niki: Eeh? But I don’t wanna~.

That game is way more of a waste of time than work is. And it’ll just make me hungry. My body is bad enough at absorbing nutrition as it stands, so don’t steal away any more of it.

Also, playing games isn’t productive at all.

Rinne: Fufun ♪ You’re so naive. The productivity factor is added in by playin’ with real money! The loser will be bled dry, and become the victors’ slave ‘til death ☆

And I’m on a roll today! So prepare yourself, ‘cause I’ll chew you up and spit you out!

Niki: What kind of reasoning is that!? Why do I gotta be your golden goose and get fried in a pan!?³

Your tyranny has gone too far, Rinne-kun. Well, I do like a good poultry dish~, but I sincerely refuse to become an ingredient for one.

Rinne: You goddamn idiot, divine providence itself is tyranny.

That said, well, have a seat. Come on, let’s roll the dice and see who’s battin' first!

Niki: Do you ever listen to people!? What makes you think I agreed to participate in this~! Man, I’ve had enough of this guy…

Can’t you just play the game with Kohaku-chan and HiMERU-kun? ...Huh, wait. Where did they go…?

Ah! You two are so unfair! Sitting all the way over there and feigning ignorance!

Rinne: Come on, Niki. Let’s get started~♪

Niki: I told you I’m not gonna play with you~!

Kohaku: ………..

One way or another, those two seem to be havin’ a whale of a time over there. Glad to see ‘em havin’ fun.

But I had the right idea when I sat over here with HiMERU-han ‘cause I wanted to avoid bein’ thought of as Rinne-han's company at any cost. And I can use my laptop in peace over here, too--

HiMERU: ...Fufu.

Kohaku: ...HiMERU-han, you’re havin’ a mighty chuckle at your phone. Didja happen to find something funny on there?

HiMERU: --Aah, no. HiMERU was merely perusing the job vacancy information on HoldHands.

Kohaku: HoldHands…? Really, why? Do they have any funny job offers?

What about? Last I checked, the only bizarre offer on there was an “archaeological excavation”...

HiMERU: They have a job offering for that? How very interesting ♪

But off the mark. HiMERU was actually looking at the jobs for newcomers.

--Have a look. The job offers are divided into categories based on their requirements, right?

Among those, the jobs that allow newcomers to apply get taken up quickly by some cute eager beavers. HiMERU just found that charming.

They’re probably recklessly taking on any jobs they can, with all their might.

Kohaku: Hmm?

HiMERU: --You’re making an expression as if you don’t quite understand, Oukawa?

Kohaku: I understand what you’re lookin’ at all keenly, but I don’t see how that is charmin’ in any way?

‘Cause, you know. They’re just takin’ whatever jobs they have the qualifications for, right?

Nothin’ charmin’ about it.

HiMERU: …You may be right, but there are a lot of thoughts and actions, joyful and frustrating feelings all encompassed within--

HiMERU is sure of the existence of such drama. And it exists in proportion for each and every single newcomer.

--And that’s why, when HiMERU sees that kind of “earnesty” in people, he finds it charming.

Kohaku: …? You’re an unexpectedly sentimental one, ain'tcha, HiMERU-han?

Well, ya made it sound like it’s all “other people's affairs” to you, though.

HiMERU: --Oh? That’s how it came off to you?

Kohaku: Well, whatever. At any rate, this is all completely beyond me. If there’s work, go for it, and if you didn’t get the job, just go lookin’ for another. That’s how I see it.

There’s no feelings behind the hirin’ process. Do the people out there really rejoice and worry over every little thing like that? That’s just perplexin’ to me.

HiMERU: ………..(smiling)

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* For anyone interested, he was playing a machine that employs the kakuhen system, which is a payout system resulting in an increase of jackpot odds once a certain jackpot has been hit. This way, it is possible to chain a number of jackpots in a row until the fever mode ends. If you want to learn more about pachinko, the Wikipedia article on it is pretty informative.

² In Japan, gambling is illegal. Pachinko parlors therefore only allow you to exchange pachinko balls into prizes, which range from small stuff like lighters to bicycles and electronics, and the “special prizes” which are little gold colored statues in boxes that you can then exchange at a separate store outside the parlor for money. It’s a legal loophole.

³ The original joke has layers, so I’ll explain. Niki uses the expression “a duck comes along carrying a welsh onion on it’s back”, shortened to “duck onion” in JP, which means “here comes a sucker just begging to be parted from his money”. He says that’s how Rinne treats him, and adds that he doesn’t get why he has to be thrown into a hot pot because of that, and in his next line says he likes hot pot with duck in it, though.

Honey Bee - Chapter 2

Location: Café “Cinnamon”

Rinne: Whazzu~p! The great Rinne-sama has come all the way over here to you loners to lend you a helpin’ hand ☆

Oh wowowow, no need to sob tears of gratitude.

I can’t leave kids who are sittin’ by themselves in the corner of the classroom alone, it’s in my nature. Hm~m, I’m such a class rep ♪

And as such, I’m gonna go right ahead and confiscate Kohaku-chan’s computer~☆ You shouldn’t bring that kind of thing to school!

Kohaku: Ugyaah!? What’cha doin’, you utter moron! Don’t lean on my head! An' give back my laptop at once!

Rinne: Ooh, what a filthy mouth you’ve got on you. It’s what you get for being glued to your computer screen 24/7! I don’t recall havin’ raised you to be like this!

Kohaku: And I don’t recall bein’ raised by you at all. You oughta re-enrol in life.

Rinne: Kyahaha ☆ You’re as lively as ever, Kohaku-chan ♪ Best for kids to be full of energy like that!

Kohaku: Don’t treat me like a kid every chance you get, it’s a real pisser.

HiMERU: Fufu. How nice to see you two on good terms.

Kohaku: What were you lookin’ at that gave you that idea. Your eyes can’t possibly be that bad.

Rinne: Nevermind all that. Hey Kohaku-chan, is your head just for decoration or what?

Kohaku: What’s this all outta nowhere. Didja come over here just to pick a fight with me?

How about instead of losin’ yer heart on this pointless endeavour, you go back over there and play yer li'l board game with Niki-han?

Rinne: I’m sorry to say that Niki gave me the brush-off. Who does he think he is, rejectin’ me?

HiMERU: -- HiMERU thinks that was a rather wise decision on his part.

Rinne: Hey, you’re so mean. Whatever, I’ll just kick Niki’s ass for that later…

Anyway, this is about you, Kohaku-chan. I overheard what you were talkin’ about earlier.

Kohaku: What, didja come here to say some sentimental nonsense, too?

Rinne: No~pe? Actually, I think you had a point. Only a third-rate gambler regrets the number on a dice they bet on and gets all down in the dumps about it.

Way healthier to just think about your next move instead.

But y’know. That only applies when you were the one who rolled the dice in the first place.

If you renounce your ability to think and resign yourself to the status quo, you’re not even a third-rate gambler -- You’re just a doll then, nothin’ more.

Forget about that newcomer-whatever thingie, someone like that couldn’t even get any job in the first place!

Kohaku: Thanks for the sermon. Are you tryin’ to tell me I’m just a doll?

Rinne: Just a warnin’. ‘Cause from what I heard, it’s an adults’ duty to correct childrens’ mistakes.

Kohaku: ……..

I admit that I’ve never taken on a job before, yes. And as long as that stands, nothin’ I’ll say is gonna sound persuasive to you.

Very well. Since you insist, I’m gonna find a job for Crazy:B.

That way I can verify myself if what people say ‘bout the job hunt is true. You’ve got no complaints about that, I assume.

Rinne: Oh? Awesome, that’s the spirit! Just how I like it ♪

HiMERU: Amagi, please wait.

Rinne: Aahn? What’s up?

HiMERU: -- Won’t there be trouble if we take on a job without running it by the agency first? HiMERU thought that’s how it is for us.

Rinne: Don’t sweat the small stuff. We should be able to talk that out with the agency later! Don’t we have enough of a track record to allow for those kinda negotiations? It’ll work itself out.

It’s a critical moment to see if our little Kohaku-chan can net us a job, after all.

...Hmm? Speakin’ of which, doesn’t it... -- Yeah, it feels like a gamblin’ parlor in here!

Kyahahaha ☆ Am I right, am I right!? Alriiight! Let’s bet on whether or not Kohaku-chan is gonna be able to get a job for us!

Kohaku: Hah? How idiotic…

HiMERU: -- Amagi… To think that you’d turn this into a gamble… Even HiMERU is disgusted.

Niki: Rinne-kun, I guess the bet is off, huh~?

Sorry for the wait~. HiMERU-kun and Kohaku-chan, here’s your coffee and hiyashi-ame*.

Rinne: Ah! Why didn’t you bring me a drink!? Shouldn’t it be common sense for you to bring me my drink first!?

Niki: Owww! Owowowow! Don’t put me in a headlock! It’s not like you ordered anything in the first place, right, Rinne-kun!?

Rinne: Whether I ordered a drink or not, you shoulda brought me one either way! Oraora~♪

Niki: Please don’t ask the impossible of me~! GyaAH!? Owowow!? It seriously hurts!

Rinne: This is my passionate hug of love! Except it’s limited to your noggin only! Isn’t your head just spinnin’ from happiness, Niki? Revel in it some more, you little shit~♪

Niki: My head is spinning for other reasons, though~! Cut it out for real, Rinne-kun…

Ah, now I’m seeing stars!? Isn’t this real bad!?

HiMERU: -- That’s enough, Amagi. Well, HiMERU thinks it’s not a good idea to decrease the number of members in our unit at this point…

Rinne: Aahn? ...Hmm, guess you’re right.

Niki: Puhah! I almost crossed the River Styx just now…

HiMERU: By the way, Shiina, what makes you think Amagi’s gamble won’t come into existence?

....That said, HiMERU also hesitates to approve of that kind of gamble.

Niki: Hmm? Ah~, no. That’s not what I meant by that~?

I was just saying, since you can easily get a job just by opening HoldHands and scrolling through it for a minute, it won’t make much of a wager...

Kohaku: ...Now that you say it, you’re right. What gives, Rinne-han, were you tryna let me win?

Rinne: Gyahahaha ☆ As if I’d ever make such a boring bet! Equal terms is what makes a gamble interestin’!

That’s right! As you say, as things stand right now, Kohaku-chan’s got the advantage. That’s why we’ll give him a “handicap”!

HiMERU: A “handicap”...?

Rinne: Y’know how racehorses get weights strapped to their backs before they enter a race as a handicap? Somethin’ like that!

And Kohaku-chan’s handicap is namely -- me! Go ahead and applaud~☆

Kohaku: You’re leavin’ out somethin’ here. After all, you’re my handicap every day already. That’s how much of a nuisance you are.

Rinne: Heyheyhey, don’t be so cold. Rinne-kun’s gonna cry, y’know?

Well, in any case. I’ll go out and try to find a job as well. It’s a match between me and Kohaku-chan to see who can get the better job!

I bet I can find the best job! And I’m sure you’re bettin’ on yourself too, Kohaku-chan.

And of course, there’s gonna be a penalty game² for the loser ♪

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* Hiyashi-ame is a cold, refreshing beverage from the Kansai area Kohaku hails from. It’s made of dissolved malt syrup, water and ginger and then chilled.

² Penalty Game

Honey Bee - Chapter 3

Location: Resting Area



Kohaku: Hoo~oh. “Work” is one simple word, but there are all kinds of work, aren’t there…

It’s a bit late for me to say this, but should I have really wagered that stupid bet? HiMERU-han…

HiMERU: -- Seeing how excited Amagi was about this, HiMERU thinks that refusing the gamble would have just led to more trouble.

Kohaku: I guess you’re right. The way he was actin’ back then, I can only imagine the tantrum he’d have thrown if I’d refused.

After that, he suddenly said somethin’ about it bein’ a team battle, we decided that I’m on a team with HiMERU-han while he’s on a team with Niki-han, and we left to go look for a job.

Which leads us to now, where we’re lookin’ at HoldHands…

Now that I’m in my right mind again, I feel somewhat sorry for draggin’ HiMERU-han and Niki-han into somethin’ as idiotic as this.

HiMERU: -- We’re past the point of no return anyhow, so there’s no use fretting over it now, Oukawa.

Besides. HiMERU is sure that this is going to be fun in it’s own way, so there’s no need to worry.

Kohaku: True enough. But earlier, you said you’d hesitate to approve of a gamble like this, right?

HiMERU: Fufu. HiMERU still hasn’t approved of it, even now. But HiMERU feels like it might be fun to help Oukawa in facing his first job.

-- Also, after what happened the other day, it’s like everyone has forsaken us. So it’s probably a good plan to work as idols for as long as we still can.

Kohaku: Aah. Now that you say it, you’re right. It’s a cold, hard world out there. Well, we’re really just reapin’ what we’ve sown.

HiMERU: And Amagi’s words from back then hit “me” pretty hard…

Nevermind, this is unrelated.

Kohaku: What’cha suddenly mumblin’ about? HiMERU-han’s quite the odd fellow at times, huh.

Well, no matter. Since you seem to be havin’ fun, I guess I’ll depend on you for a little bit.

At any rate, this HoldHands is quite useful. You can look at all the information on job offers at once, and the search function is a great help.

Ah, this job seems like it’d be a good fit for Crazy:B, too.

HiMERU: Which one? -- Aah, indeed, that one seems like it’d be no problem for us.

Kohaku: Hrm~m… Generally, I’d just call dibs on all the jobs I selected, simply wait for their response, and that’d be the end of it….

But since the job has to be better than whatever Rinne-han’s pickin’ out, I’m at a loss for which one to choose.

No matter which one I go for, I feel like I might win. But I also feel like there’s a chance I’ll lose, regardless of which one I pick. This is difficult.

HiMERU-han’s been active as a solo act before, and you’ve been in the industry longer than I have. Can you show me how I can tell which job’s gonna be good, or somethin’?

People’s experiences make the best reference book, right ♪ And as an ironclad rule, individual people’s reviews on social media are better than online advertisements.

HiMERU: --Hrm~m… HiMERU’s history as a performer is long, but HiMERU hasn’t really looked for his own jobs before.

And he never assigned much importance to the “quality” of a job. In order to gain all kinds of experiences, HiMERU tried just about anything once.

Kohaku: I see… Sounds tough. Guess that’s how the cookie crumbles. But if HiMERU-han can’t serve as a reference, I don’t know where to go from here…

HiMERU: -- Additionally, HiMERU can’t be the one to choose the job this time. Because if he did, even if you won the contest you’d still have lost against Amagi.

Kohaku: ? What’cha mean by that?

HiMERU: -- Amagi might be frivolous, but HiMERU believes that he still speaks the truth in his own way.

Well, it’s not like HiMERU completely understands everything about him…

But no matter how many beautiful words you line up, when it comes down to it, this world is a struggle against one another. And the same rings true for the idol industry.

To avoid ending up on the side that gets squeezed dry, it’s necessary to use your head and make your own choices.

And that is probably that man’s field of expertise.

...Whoops, that statement might be slightly misleading. No matter what you do, please never become someone like Amagi, Oukawa.

It would cause a lot of people anxiety if you did, and it’d be a nuisance for HiMERU as well. -- In any case, all you need is “to make your own choices”.

-- To get back to what you were talking about earlier, Oukawa. The question of whether to believe an advertisement or a review is the same issue. Choosing one over the other is no easy feat.

However, whether you steal or are stolen from, whether you avoid conflict or fight, if the way you live is something you not only thought about briefly but actually chose for yourself, then you’ll be able to live with the choice you’ve made.

Kohaku: I see~. I guess that means there’s no point to the contest unless I search for the job myself.

HiMERU: -- Correct.

Kohaku: But that was one deeply meaningful speech. You’re mighty persuasive. Sounded like you were talkin’ from experience?

HiMERU: -- It was just a generalization ♪

Kohaku: I see, then I’ll leave it at that.

Well then, guess I’d better keep my eyes glued to the HoldHands display and see if I can’t find a good job for us.

It’d be mighty vexing to let that idiot make a monkey of me any more than he’s already done, so I’m gonna go all out for once.