Hot Limit - Comeback Elegy 4

[bakemonoremy]

CW: Lighthearted Mention of Murder, Death By Hanging Mention

Location: Meeting Room

HiMERU: (But humans aren’t androids. They’ll frequently act contrary to reason.)

(Devoting themselves to other people again and again, despite it leading to nothing but harm to themselves, like that Saint Bastard did*.)

(And that’s exactly why — )

Kohaku: Well, let’s put those triflin’ logical arguments aside fer a moment. Whether you’ll believe us at this point or not, we do wanna work as proper idols.

‘Course, everyone else in this room, includin’ the Ryuseitai folks, likely also got their own reasons fer wantin’ this job.

Otherwise they wouldn’t be participatin’ in this briefing session.

But the same goes fer us. We’re not just heartless insects who were swept here on some breeze or anythin’.

HiMERU: (Sympathy, — )

Kohaku: We also— I also wanna work as a proper idol.

I wanna stand on the same stage as the rest of Crazy:B, who I’ve more or less grown close with an’ who I feel are all facin’ the same direction as me.

That is what I wanna do.

HiMERU: (Emotions, and ardour.)

Kohaku: I’m sure ya know this, Anzu-han — But I work in the shadows as part of Double Face. Still, the shadows can only exist ‘cause there’s light.

If I can’t work on the surface, as part of Crazy:B, an’ do proper idol jobs…

With only the underground ta hold on to, I’ll end up an incomplete, filthy human.

An’ I don’t want that.

HiMERU: (A childish tantrum devoid of logic. And based on that, an entreaty.)

(I’d expect nothing less from you, Oukawa. HiMERU can’t tell if you’re doing this intentionally or if it comes naturally to you — But you’re appealing precisely to her emotions.)

Kohaku: I heard you’ve been supportin’ my partner — Madara-han’s — public face, MaM.

Then it’s unfair if ya don’t treat me the same way.

Folks are gonna accuse ya of playin’ favorites ‘cause Madara-han’s yer childhood friend — part of yer inner circle.

Or am I just disposable fuel to you? Did ya only use me ta make yer precious Madara-han shine even brighter, just ta discard me after?

That’s so heartless of ya.

HiMERU: (Fufu. He’s persistently speaking to her emotions.)

(Anzu-san acquiesced to the activities of Double Face, so you could even say she’s an accomplice who conspired with them — It would’ve been possible to threaten her about that.)

(But Oukawa doesn’t seem willing to do something like that to Anzu-san.)

(Indeed, she didn’t actually dirty her hands — Consequently she’s not impure, not a villain, and so Oukawa won’t resort to violent measures against her.)

(You’re being impartial. No, you probably want to do things correctly.)

(Even if you’ve already become impure to the bone, you still want to live in a way that won’t bring shame to the Lord**.)

Kohaku: ? What’re ya smilin’ fer, HiMERU-han?

HiMERU: Oh, it’s nothing. HiMERU was just thinking that he has always loved adorably pathetic creatures so much that he can hardly bear it ♪

Kohaku: Hmm? What d’ya mean, “adorably pathetic”? Is there some kinda bug in here?

HiMERU: Oh yes. There are indeed four unpleasant insects buzzing around in this room.

— No, wait, it appears we lost one of them.

Rinne: ………..

Kohaku: Huh? Rinne-han, what happened ta Niki-han? Don’t tell me ya actually went an’ hanged the fella?

Rinne: Naaah… That guy got slapped with a summons from the Cinnamon store manager, so he went rushin’ back to the shop.

Kohaku: Aah, I guess Niki-han was kinda in the middle of his shift, huh. He probably got scolded for steppin’ out fer so long.

Rinne: Who knows. From what I overheard of their conversation, there are some developments happenin’ over there that could prove convenient for us...

But Niki’s completely useless when he’s not standin’ on stage or in a kitchen anyway, so I guess him not bein’ here’s no problem.

More importantly, how’d it go? Did ya guys show off our good sides like I told ya to?

HiMERU: That we did. HiMERU explained his reasoning and Oukawa appealed to her emotions. We employed a two-pronged approach and needled her with our stingers from every direction.

After sustaining these stings, Anzu-san went into deep contemplation.

Rinne: Is this a game of shogi to ya? If we keep dawdlin’ around, summer’s gonna be over in a flash. We don’t want people goin’, “isn’t it a lil’ late for a summer festival?”, do we?

Ya leave me no choice. In order ta make Anzu-chan decide quickly, lil’ old me is gonna give her the last push she needs.

— Anzu-chan.

Kohaku: (Wow, Rinne-han looks uncharacteristically serious. He seems mighty dignified when he’s actin’ proper. I just wish he could be like this all the time.)

Rinne: I implore you. This is the request of a lifetime. Please allow us*** to do this job.

Kohaku: (Uwoah? Didn’t think he’d turn this into a head-on fight. He’s really prostratin’ himself before her and pleadin’ without the slightest shame!)

Rinne: No, please make us men…!

HiMERU: HiMERU regrets to repeat Shiina’s words from earlier, but he believes your choice of words is just horrible.

And this may not be something an idol should say, but it sounds like you’re asking her for something entirely different here.

Rinne: Yeah, go on and film me with your phones, you guys, come on!

If Anzu-chan turns down our request, we’ll spread the recording on the internet with a caption sayin’ “Bigshot Producer Mrs. Anzu Forces Newcomer Idol To Prostrate Before Her?!”.

HiMERU: — So we’re back to coercion after all. And it’s just a boring rehash of what happened with Akatsuki, too.

Kohaku: That’s dirty, Rinne-han. Even fer you, that’s real dirty.



Rinne: (Oh shaddap. This was the best course of action this time around, alright?)

(Now that I’ve done this, Anzu-chan can use it as an explanation to the other idols as to why she gave us this job. She can say that she didn’t have a choice, ‘cause I coerced her.)

(Here at ES, we’re complete outcasts, despised by everyone.)

(If word got out that she’s siding with us, people would think “my enemy’s friend is my enemy” — If things went badly for Anzu-chan, she might even lose her position.)

(In order to avoid that kinda situation, I had to prepare some kind of “excuse” for her.)

(Also, I’ll be able to figure out what kinda person Anzu-chan is by seein’ how she responds to my actions here.)

(Whether she’s only well-liked ‘cause she’s a cute, admirable girl — )

(Or if she’s the real thing, someone who deserves the trust put in her by idols.)

(If I had to choose, I’d want her to be the real thing. Pretty badly, too. Otherwise the guys who ate shit at SS are gonna be turnin’ in their graves.)

(And I*** would turn out to be something even lower than an insect, complete trash that died without even puttin’ up a fight...)

(I need you to have won because you were just that strong. Please, I’m beggin’ you.)

————————

* Kazehaya Tatsumi

** Back at it again with お天道さま which crops up periodically with Kohaku. This word can refer both to the sun as a concept, as well as the god who rules over heaven and earth. It is used in Enstars with both meanings depending on the context in which it’s used.

*** Rinne specifically drops his 俺っち (orecchi) pronoun and uses 俺 instead to show that he is being sincere in instances marked with three asterisks.