Hot Limit - Epilogue 2

[bakemonoremy]

Location: Hot Limit Stage

HiMERU: — Well, this matter was entrusted with Ryuseitai in the first place, anyhow.

They seemed enthusiastic about it too, and above all, they’re an excellent fit for a strait-laced job like this.

Even though they were afraid themselves, they tried to protect Anzu-san when Amagi threatened her.

So. They slammed down a written challenge addressed to us, to find out who’s the most suited for this job. Not through violence, but through an on-stage match — a DreamFes.

Rinne: Well, we turned down the challenge, though. For one thing, it would’ve been a pain in the ass.

Also, those guys are young, so they can’t see the big picture here, but summer would’ve ended in a flash if we wasted our time on that kinda shit.

At this rate, the time for summer festivals that require crowd pullers was gonna be over before we got anywhere. It’s what they call “puttin’ the cart before the horse”.

‘Sides, if we really did go head to head with them in a DreamFes, we’d wipe the floor with ‘em for sure, right?

Niki: ? Would it have been a problem if we won? In that case, we’d be the ones who get to take on that job, right? I don’t see the downside.

Kohaku: Well, there’s a number of problems with it, really.

First of all, they’d be completely outclassed. Even if they’re just nameless newcomers to Ryuseitai, if we were to beat ‘em black an’ blue—

The wounds that were on the verge of closin’ up durin’ MDM would be reopened, an’ the whole issue from back then would get revived. Worst case scenario, it’d turn into a dispute between Ryuseitai an’ Crazy:B — a meaningless war.

An’ since we already know each other’s tactics, it’d turn into an even dirtier fight this time around, with no way out.

It'd be best if we preserved the current ceasefire that was brought on by resolvin' things through a coercive measure like the “Justice Beam”*

Rinne: Exactly. We went through all that trouble of wrappin’ things up in an easy-to-understand way, so there’s no point in stirrin’ the pot now.

Endin’ up in a brawl with Ryuseitai over a scramble for a small-time job like this won’t gain us anything, and it wouldn’t be any fun, either.

And anyway, no one wants to see a story where the superheroes keep gettin’ their asses kicked as they lose against the villains over and over again, right?

It’s the job of an idol to show the people what they wanna see. To say it in a way that Niki will understand, it’s the job of a cook to make the food the customers wanna eat.

Niki: Ah, I suddenly understand everything!

Kohaku: Are you fer real…

Niki: Yeah. You guys should’ve just explained it using cooking metaphors from the start. Now I get it~... So that’s why we’re standing on this stage right now, huh.

So that was the situation in the briefing session the other day.

They were asking who was gonna prepare the ordered orthodox Japanese-style full course meal, and we, a fast food store that makes chicken nuggets and the like, raided the place.

So it didn’t matter how much we emphasized how tasty chicken nuggets are and how they’re totally gonna fly off the shelves, because the order was for a Japanese-style meal.

Rinne: Yep. And sure, we coulda prepared our chicken nuggets Japanese-style and it would’ve satisfied the client, but…

It would’ve been a ton of work for no reason, and our intention wasn’t to snatch that specific job to begin with.

Niki: Yeah, you did say from the start that our goal was to establish a connection with Anzu Nee-san.

Even if we spent an eternity explaining just how wonderful chicken nuggets are, the chance that we were gonna get a job of making Japanese-style cuisine was still almost nil.

But it did inform Anzu Nee-san of the existence and appeal of chicken nuggets.

And for a busy big-time producer like Anzu Nee-san, there was a good chance that among the countless jobs she had on hand there’d be one that was asking for chicken nuggets.

Also, even if there wasn’t one right now, she has the right and power to create that kind of job.

And that was Rinne-kun’s intention from the beginning.

Rinne: You got it. Askin’ for something completely absurd at first and then elicitin’ a compromise from the other side is the fundamentals of scammin’ — uh, I mean, negotiatin’.

We also managed to make her feel guilty about havin’ rejected us “out of her own convenience” this time.

Since Kohaku-chan and Merumeru appealed to her emotions and reason, she was like, “I want to do something for them”, “I have to do something”.

HiMERU: — Yes. She had to do that in order to prove that no unjust treatment or discrimination was taking place at ES.

And because she empathized with our feelings as idols, Oukawa’s included, she had no choice but to help us find another job.

It’s not just that it’s difficult on an emotional level to reject someone else outright…

If she hadn’t paid us some kind of “hush money”, we could’ve leaked the video of Amagi prostrating himself on the web, too.

Niki: Did this guy really prostrate himself again? I’m sure you learned that it’s an effective measure, but it’s really disgraceful, y’know?

Rinne: Oh, shut it. Whose fault do ya think it is that I learned such a move that’s totally unbefitting of a chief in the first place, huh?

Anyway, that’s how Anzu-chan got us this Hot Limit gig in place of the summer festival crowd pullin’ job.

Niki: In other words, it’s a chicken nugget party, huh! So where are they selling ‘em? I’ve gotten sooo hungry~♪

Kohaku: Yer always hungry. It was just a metaphor, this project doesn’t actually have a thing ta do with sellin’ chicken nuggets, a’ight?

Niki: Eh~? How mean! You totally made me get my hopes up…!

Kohaku: You were the one who came up with the chicken nugget metaphor in the first place, y’know.

Rinne: Fufun. Well, I dunno if they sell chicken nuggets specifically, but I prepared a way for ya to sate your hunger here — so don’t worry, Niki.

Ya may not believe me no matter how many times I say this, but everything I do, I do for my beloved Niki! For realsies ♪

Niki: Hm~...? You could lend it at least a little bit of credibility if you said it more seriously, so why do you always have to make it sound like you’re just messing around?

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* Main Story spoilers: The Justice Beam is an “attack” Ryuseitai employed against Crazy:B on stage to defeat them.