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Hot Limit - Epilogue 5

Location: Hot Limit Stage

Niki: Nah, you’re exaggerating… You say that you owe me your life or whatever, but all I did was feed you some nikujaga, right?

Rinne: But that was the last food ya had to preserve your own life, yeah? Givin’ me that was the same as givin’ me your very own life.

My debt to you is just the same as the one I owe my own mother for bringin’ me into this world.

Niki: So now I’m your mama, huh. Sons who steal money from their mamas wallets deserve to get disowned, y’know? Even if it’s among family members, it’s still a crime.

Rinne: Aah? But I always put it back doubled, don’t I?

Just like what I’m doing now. In order to get Niki, who doesn’t really have any interest in idol stuff, to do this job… I cleared up his troubles to compensate for it.

I changed the locations of several similar contests that were planned to take place nationwide, including that confectionary contest he was supposed to enter...

And made them all take place right here in the Specialized Music Ward, as a special program of Hot Limit.

Kohaku: Aah, so they’re holding confectionary contests an’ such in this location. Now that explains why I’ve been smellin’ the sweet scents of honey an’ the like in the air here an’ there.

Rinne: Yep. I’m makin’ Niki appear in all of those contests, dominating ‘em one by one, while also singin’ and dancin’ on stage in between.

By the way, the crucial factor here is that his name as a contest entrant is always just given as “Cinnamon Representative”.

Niki: Yup. And I put on a mask, changed my hairstyle, and put on a disguise in order to hide my lineage…

So when I show up on stage at the same time, exposing my actual face while singing and dancing, what do you think’s gonna happen?

Certainly, Shiina Niki was right here in the location where the confectionary contest takes place.

But he was here as part of Crazy:B, and he was singing and dancing as an idol — there’s no way he could’ve had the time to appear in contests simultaneously.

That’s what people would usually think. And the livelier I appear here on stage, the stronger this notion will get.

In other words, we created an alibi for me. We made everyone think that I didn’t participate in the contests.

HiMERU: It’s almost like we’re in a mystery novel. Going to such intricate lengths for this; do you really want to hide the truth that a Shiina is back in the public culinary world that badly?

Going so far as to fake an alibi — surely, he didn’t commit a murder?

Niki: ...Well, at this point there may not even be anyone around who still remembers my dad.

But I guess this habit has been imprinted on me ever since my early childhood, so it’s become an instinct to me that I can’t defy.

I do think it’s a bad habit, but I don’t have the emotional or physical strength to do anything about it.

Rinne: Only up to this point. It was impossible for me to do it by myself.

But, well, we’ve got Merumeru and Kohaku-chan with us now — if we keep workin’ on it without throwin’ the towel, it might remedy slowly over time.

And in that sense. I implore you, HiMERU, Oukawa Kohaku… Please lend us your help.

HiMERU: — A bit late to ask that, don’t you think?

Kohaku: Yeah. We became yer accomplices a long time ago; we can’t break our ties with you at this point no matter how much we may hate it. But if you feel guilty about that —

HiMERU: Then give us benefits that offset the trouble you cause us. It only makes sense. Isn’t that right, Oukawa?

Kohaku: Yup. We’re gonna make ya entertain us lots an’ lots, now an’ in the future, as Crazy:B ♪

Kohaku & HiMERU: “♪ ~ ♪ ~ ♪“

Niki: ...Hearing that made me kinda happy.

Rinne: Aahn?

Niki: Up until now, we always held out together, just the two of us. But that’s in the past, because now we have trusted friends close to us.

Rinne: Haha. You only just noticed? I already realized this around the time of MDM ♪

Niki: Then you’re barely any different from me, Rinne-kun. It’s all the same summer’s affair~. A summer I’ll never forget about — for the rest of my life.

Aah, this is bad. I feel like my stomach’s gonna be full.

My motivation for cooking is getting lower and lower~, even though I still have to win a whole bunch of contests after this.

Rinne: Gyahaha. You’ll do fine, Niki. You’ve always gotten hungry again soon after, right? That’s exactly why you’re always puttin’ me through all these hardships ♪

Rinne & Niki: “♪ ~ ♪ ~ ♪”

Location: Shiina Residence, 4 years ago

Niki: Munch, munch, much. Chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp. Chew chew, gulp —

Rinne: I owe you a great debt. You’ve saved my life. Let me ask you once again — What can I do in order to repay this debt of gratitude?

Niki: Munch, munch, munch.

Rinne: Despite how I look, I was actually a bit of an influential figure in my hometown. I’m capable of doing a lot more than an ordinary citizen.

...What do you want? Land? Money? Honor?

Niki: Mmh~... Nah, I’m good. You brought me a whole lot of food to eat, so that’s already enough for me.

Please don’t make such a big deal out of this~, all I did was make some nikujaga for you.

Rinne: No, I can’t accept that. And if I can’t accept something, that means it’s not right.

Niki: Eh~... This guy is such a pain. Did I pick up something troublesome...?

Rinne: You’d better make your peace with that. I think this is fate, too — No, I’m sure of it.

Niki: Aah, gotcha. If it’s fate, then there’s nothing we can do about it, huh. Munch, munch.

Rinne: Listen to what I’m saying in earnest. I’m being serious here, I have to return this favor to you, no matter what.

In order to repay your good will, I would like to grant you your deepest wish.

Niki: Eh~? When you ask me about that out of nowhere I don’t really know what to tell you.

Umm… Well, the one thing I always find myself wanting is “to have a full stomach”, I guess.

Rinne: Hmm. So the food I extorted isn’t enough, huh.

Niki: Wait, did you just say “extorted”? Wh-, you didn’t steal this, did you!?

Rinne: — Understood. Hmhm, so you want a full stomach. I will grant that wish for you, I swear that on the gods of heaven and earth.

I promise it. Shiina Niki, I will repay this life debt to you, no matter what it takes.

Niki: Before you do that, I’d like you to explain to me where on earth you got all this food from~!

If these are stolen goods, that probably makes me guilty of some kinda crime as well for eating them, doesn’t it?

Ahh, I’m so sorry, mom and dad! It seems like your son ended up becoming a criminal as well~!?

So I’m really going to hell after all~, my whole life’s future is looking pitch black!

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Hot Limit - Epilogue 4

Location: Hot Limit Stage

Niki: I’m baaack~... ☆

Kohaku: Pete’s sake, ya gave me start! Oh, it’s you, Niki-han. When ya say yer back, d’ya mean ya went somewhere?

HiMERU: — From HiMERU’s observations, it appears Shiina periodically vacated the stage and returned a number of times.

After leaving the stage, he would go in and out of various booths on the event grounds, where he must’ve been doing something or other.

It’s difficult to see the area from this vantage point due to the crowd of people in the way, so HiMERU cannot even guess what his reasons for this bizarre behaviour are.

Niki: Could you not call it bizarre behaviour!?

Sheesh — is it just me or have you guys been getting sharper tongues lately, HiMERU-kun and Kohaku-chan? This is definitely all because of Rinne-kun’s bad influence on you!

Rinne: Aah? And who gave you permission to badmouth me, huh? Real impertinent comin’ from you of all people, Niki!

Niki: Oh, Rinne-kun, there you are! What’re you doing over in that corner when you of all people are usually such an attention seeker!

Well, let’s put that aside — Thank you soooo much! This is all thanks to you, Rinne-kun! I can’t thank you enough! I love you, I love you soooo much! Hey, can I kiss you!?

Rinne: No, that’s gonna have to wait ‘til after we’re married.

Niki: I don’t have the slightest intention to marry you, though!

Um, then what am I supposed to do here? How can I express this gratitude I’m feeling!?

Kohaku: Will ya settle down for a minute, Niki-han. What’s gotten inta ya, did someone give ya some kinda weird drug or what?

HiMERU: Or did the summer heat finally get to your head?

Niki: Nope! I’m just super duper happy and overjoyed! Why, did I say something strange!?

Kohaku: Well, it’s fine to be straightforward with yer feelings, but I got a bit uneasy seein’ ya suddenly treat Rinne-han all warmly.

HiMERU: Indeed. We were merely concerned for you, as we feared he may have some dirt on you or something of the sort.

Rinne: You guys are harsh, man…

Niki’s shit at explanations, so I’ll summarize things in his place. What he’s trying to say is that Hot Limit is the best project he could’ve asked for.

Kohaku: In other words?

Niki: Umm. It’s a bit late for me to say this, but to tell the truth, I’ve been super busy with my work as a cook lately.

Kohaku: Eh, fer real? But weren’t ya foolin’ around with us an’ carefreely goin’ about your part-time job this whole time…?

Niki: Yep, in fact this matter is related to that part-time job… So, I was supposed to appear in some kinda national confectionary contest as the representative for ES, or rather, Café Cinnamon.

By accomplishing something in that contest, ES would also gain fame on account of housing Cinnamon.

HiMERU: — Hmm. That seems to be a common occurrence lately. Valkyrie was apparently also ordered to win the championship trophy at that JNLC event.

Kohaku: All in all, ES has only been formed this year, so it’s a force on the rise after all.

Reckon they’re tryna demonstrate their presence an’ strength to the world by acquirin’ all existin’ awards an’ titles in a sweepin’ victory.

Rinne: I’ll bet. The sense of scale is on a whole ‘nother level, but the concept’s similar to when we were tryna form a link with Anzu-chan.

It was about establishin’ a bond to public lawfulness, to someone who has value — in other words, to gain connections.

Connections and money are what makes the world of adults go ‘round, so we’re gonna need those. For humans and organizations alike, it’s the end of the rope when they’re out of friends.

Niki: Yeah. But for various reasons I didn’t want my face and name to get out into the public culinary world. Just… a bunch of stuff happened regarding my dad, y’see.

Kohaku: What d’ya mean, “public culinary world”? Is there also an underground culinary world, or what?

Niki: Fufu. You guys only care about idol stuff so you don’t know this, but there’s more to the culinary world than one might think.

It’s a complicated and mysterious pandemonium. The history of food stretches back to the dawn of humanity’s history itself, y’know?

Kohaku: When ya put it like that it’s mighty persuasive. Well, I reckon song an’ dance have just as long of a history goin’ on. The history of idols is just an extension of that.

HiMERU: — HiMERU believes there’s also a relation to “religion”. In the case of idols, that is.

Niki: Anyway. Because of that, I was kinda at a loss for what to do…

If I entered something like a confectionary contest my lineage might get exposed — which, if anything, would actually become an inconvenience for the store and ES as a whole.

But when someone asks me a favor related to food, I’m the type who just can’t say no…

So I felt like I had no choice but to enter the contest, and figured if I refused to enter it I might really get fired from my part-time job this time around —

But also, I do love making sweets, and under the pretext of sampling their entries I might also get to eat a bunch of sweets the other contestants made…

While I’ve been worrying about what to do, my thoughts have been going in circles like that over and over lately.

Kohaku: Hmmm. You really didn’t look like you were worrying about anythin’ in the slightest to me.

HiMERU: Same here. You seemed like the same Shiina as always.

Niki: Well, making a gloomy face won’t get me anywhere, right? Whatever happens, happens~. Getting all depressed about it would just make me all hungry!

If you’re gonna be all troubled, your time’s better spent looking for edible herbs and the like! Nahaha ♪

Rinne: ...And that’s the kinda guy he is, which is exactly why being with him is such a pain.

You’ll glance at him and think it’s the same ol’ stupid, lively Niki as ever, but then he’ll just collapse in a heap outta nowhere ‘cause he hit his limit.

When you’re strugglin’, tell us that you’re struggling. When you’re worryin’ over something, come and ask us for advice. You’re way too hard to understand, sheesh.

Niki: Nahaha ♪ But I can’t become like my dad and be an inconvenience to the people around me —

‘Cause with my constitution it’s already a win in my book that I’m still alive at all.

I can’t hope for anything more than that. Just getting to eat every day is already bliss to me~ I need to be satisfied with just that.

Rinne: ...There you have it, that’s the curse this guy is under.

No matter how many times I tell him that he’s not inconveniencin’ me, no matter how much I try to convince him that he’s worth as much as other people if not more, it’s no use at all.

I tried all kinds of things, y’know…

I tried explainin’ how it’d be okay for him to cause trouble for me if he married me and we became family, I tried raisin’ his self-esteem by makin’ him a popular idol…

In my own way, as a country bumpkin who was completely ignorant in the ways of the modern world, I really tried everything I possibly could…

But, well, it seems like this curse is rooted real deep, so my only choice is to unravel it bit by bit.

I owe this guy my life. That’s why I’ll grant his wish and make him happy.

And I don’t give a shit if God himself prohibits that, ‘cause I’ll turn even fate on its head if I have to.

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Hot Limit - Epilogue 3

Location: Hot Limit Stage

- Nearly an hour later -

HiMERU: “♪ ~ ♪ ~ ♪”

(Now then. The theme of Anzu-san’s newly created project, Hot Limit, is “beating the summer heat”.)

(Meeting up with friends you get along with and making merry with them in the middle of the persistently lingering late summer heat—)

(A stupid, or rather, frivolous project to make people forget about the hotness of the summer and go wild.)

(Chicken nuggets from a fast food store… Fufufu ♪ Well, isn’t that just perfectly fitting for us Crazy:B?)

(Anyway. Amagi didn’t hog this project just for us. He pushed for us to play the leading part, to be the focus of the project, but—)

(After quickly putting together a designated “Specialized Music Ward” on the event grounds, they also gathered a number of professional and amateur musicians here.)

(The majority of them are outcasts we established a connection with at Beehive, or rather, they’re medium-rank and lower level idols who have yet to hit it big.)

(By paying either a small performance fee of either L$ or regular yen, they gained the right to perform on this stage.)

(The people from Beehive in particular haven’t gotten involved with the ES mainstream, and the ones who did are ranked among the lowest there, but — )

(By performing here at Hot Limit, they can merge with that mainstream.)

(That’s because performing here will give them the track record of having worked together with Anzu-san, who's producing the main event, and will establish a connection with her.)

(With that track record as their support, the people from the Specialized Music Ward and Beehive will rise in influence at ES.)

(Track records and precedents serve as extraordinarily effective weapons in adult society, after all.)

(Needless to say, the people from Beehive and such will now feel that they owe us Crazy:B a debt of gratitude for having awarded them such a weapon.)

(If this project becomes a success, the people from the Specialized Music Ward will benefit from it as well, so they’ll surely welcome our existence.)

(Such kindness, admiration, and affirmation are exceedingly hard to come by for people who are as universally despised as we are.)

(Rather than only monopolizing the benefits for ourselves, we involved others, and in doing so, dramatically increased the benefits as a whole—)

(And the more we liven up Hot Limit, the more our benefits will skyrocket further.)

(In pachinko terms you might say we hit the jackpot* — It’s a much more profitable development for us than merely getting the summer festival crowd pulling job would’ve been.)

(Fufu. What a worthless “great detective” I am*2, time and time again only realizing, “oh, so that’s how it was” while reexamining everything in hindsight.)

(Looking at the big picture, while you’re feigning that you’re just aimlessly flying all over the place — you’re actually aiming your stinger exactly where it counts.)

(But now that I’ve*2 more or less grasped your method, I believe I’ll be able to cooperate with you more deliberately next time around, Amagi.)

(It’s not HiMERU’s style to endlessly rely on the protection of adults and be hand-fed by them.)

“♪ ~ ♪ ~ ♪”

Kohaku: “~......♪”

(Fufu. Seems like HiMERU-han reached the same conclusion I did. We get manipulated by Rinne-han every single time, ‘cause his explanations are always lackin’…)

(But that’s ‘cause he wants us ta think fer ourselves, right?)

(I get it — an’ thanks to you, I feel like I’ve gotten a lot smarter compared to how I was back when I had just escaped my zashikirou*3.)

(I can see the big picture. I can fly around as much as I want, in this wide world.)

(Rinne-han of all people would never deny me this.)

(He acts needlessly arrogant an’ dictatorial, but that’s just on the surface — deep down, he always respects our opinions.)

(That must've also been why he got outta the room for a sec durin' that briefing session an' left things ta me an' HiMERU-han.)

(He could’ve just advanced things on his own, but he went outta his way ta get us from the café where we were just grumblin’ over our cups.)

(So that’s what he did all that for.)

(If he’d been there, he woulda been the only one talkin’. So instead, he went an’ gave us a chance t’assert ourselves ta Anzu-han.)

(An’ based on our opinions we shared back then, Anzu-han settled on an outline fer Hot Limit.)

(In the smack middle of the Specialized Music Ward that’s bustlin’ with people, I’m flyin’ around an’ enjoyin’ myself more than anyone — an’ you were the one who granted me this brightly shinin’ “public identity”*4)

(I’m grateful fer that. Thanks to you, I can see the Sun better than ever.)

(Anzu-han an’ Rinne-han both will never deny us what we wanna do.)

(This also goes fer the other folks who’re performin’ here — the local musicians in the Specialized Music Ward, an’ the idol wannabes who made the Beehive their hangout spot.)

(They’re goin’ whole hog doin’ what they wanna do.)

(Without bein’ forced inta the “correct” ES style against their will, that is.)

(An’ I dunno if it’s ‘cause they’re attracted to the freedom in this place or what, but the no-name newcomers from the briefing session also came ta participate in Hot Limit.)

(They probably heard what we were plannin’ an’ reckoned it seemed mighty interesting.)

(Even the fellas from Ryuseitai who ended up gettin’ the crowd pullin’ job, who seemed so stiff an’ unsociable during the briefing session — they’re flyin’ about freely here now.)

(Fellas, didn’t ya challenge us to a duel before ‘cause we ruffled yer feathers so much?)

(Didja come here ta stake out the enemy, but once ya mingled with the crowd ya ended up havin’ a good ol’ time after all?)

(Yer so young… Still, this is fine. Kids — youngsters like you fellas should just get caught up in the mood of the place an’ frolic as ya like.)

(We Oukawas exist ta protect the peaceful, ordinary days of carefree folks like you.)

(Well, while the Sun’s still high up in the sky like this I’m the same as you fellas, just a singular bug frolicking merrily.)

(I’m gonna have my fun flyin’ all over this open stage as part of Crazy:B! An’ I won’t let anyone complain about it!)

“♪ ~ ♪ ~ ♪”

———————

* I localized this to simply “jackpot”, but for those who care, HiMERU refers to “kakuhen” here, which is a pachinko payout system in which additional jackpots multiply rapidly after the first jackpot has been hit. Rinne also referred to kakuhen in the first chapter of Honey Bee.

*2 It’s worth noting that HiMERU phrased these sentences entirely without using a pronoun (which he often does), so he didn’t drop “HiMERU” or “ore” in any of this, and it’s impossible to tell which he refers to. Personally, these struck me as very personal insights, so I opted for “I”.

*3 Mentioned before in A Dark Night’s Passing: A zashikirou is a room from the Edo-period, built for the solitary confinement of criminals and lunatics.

*4 Picking up on a theme that’s used excessively in A Dark Night’s Passing, Kohaku refers this this side of his as his 表の顔 (lit. surface face, ie. face he shows in public) as opposed to 裏 (undersurface, opposite side) which he often uses in relation to his unsavoury activities in Double Face.

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Hot Limit - Epilogue 2

Location: Hot Limit Stage

HiMERU: — Well, this matter was entrusted with Ryuseitai in the first place, anyhow.

They seemed enthusiastic about it too, and above all, they’re an excellent fit for a strait-laced job like this.

Even though they were afraid themselves, they tried to protect Anzu-san when Amagi threatened her.

So. They slammed down a written challenge addressed to us, to find out who’s the most suited for this job. Not through violence, but through an on-stage match — a DreamFes.

Rinne: Well, we turned down the challenge, though. For one thing, it would’ve been a pain in the ass.

Also, those guys are young, so they can’t see the big picture here, but summer would’ve ended in a flash if we wasted our time on that kinda shit.

At this rate, the time for summer festivals that require crowd pullers was gonna be over before we got anywhere. It’s what they call “puttin’ the cart before the horse”.

‘Sides, if we really did go head to head with them in a DreamFes, we’d wipe the floor with ‘em for sure, right?

Niki: ? Would it have been a problem if we won? In that case, we’d be the ones who get to take on that job, right? I don’t see the downside.

Kohaku: Well, there’s a number of problems with it, really.

First of all, they’d be completely outclassed. Even if they’re just nameless newcomers to Ryuseitai, if we were to beat ‘em black an’ blue—

The wounds that were on the verge of closin’ up durin’ MDM would be reopened, an’ the whole issue from back then would get revived. Worst case scenario, it’d turn into a dispute between Ryuseitai an’ Crazy:B — a meaningless war.

An’ since we already know each other’s tactics, it’d turn into an even dirtier fight this time around, with no way out.

It'd be best if we preserved the current ceasefire that was brought on by resolvin' things through a coercive measure like the “Justice Beam”*

Rinne: Exactly. We went through all that trouble of wrappin’ things up in an easy-to-understand way, so there’s no point in stirrin’ the pot now.

Endin’ up in a brawl with Ryuseitai over a scramble for a small-time job like this won’t gain us anything, and it wouldn’t be any fun, either.

And anyway, no one wants to see a story where the superheroes keep gettin’ their asses kicked as they lose against the villains over and over again, right?

It’s the job of an idol to show the people what they wanna see. To say it in a way that Niki will understand, it’s the job of a cook to make the food the customers wanna eat.

Niki: Ah, I suddenly understand everything!

Kohaku: Are you fer real…

Niki: Yeah. You guys should’ve just explained it using cooking metaphors from the start. Now I get it~... So that’s why we’re standing on this stage right now, huh.

So that was the situation in the briefing session the other day.

They were asking who was gonna prepare the ordered orthodox Japanese-style full course meal, and we, a fast food store that makes chicken nuggets and the like, raided the place.

So it didn’t matter how much we emphasized how tasty chicken nuggets are and how they’re totally gonna fly off the shelves, because the order was for a Japanese-style meal.

Rinne: Yep. And sure, we coulda prepared our chicken nuggets Japanese-style and it would’ve satisfied the client, but…

It would’ve been a ton of work for no reason, and our intention wasn’t to snatch that specific job to begin with.

Niki: Yeah, you did say from the start that our goal was to establish a connection with Anzu Nee-san.

Even if we spent an eternity explaining just how wonderful chicken nuggets are, the chance that we were gonna get a job of making Japanese-style cuisine was still almost nil.

But it did inform Anzu Nee-san of the existence and appeal of chicken nuggets.

And for a busy big-time producer like Anzu Nee-san, there was a good chance that among the countless jobs she had on hand there’d be one that was asking for chicken nuggets.

Also, even if there wasn’t one right now, she has the right and power to create that kind of job.

And that was Rinne-kun’s intention from the beginning.

Rinne: You got it. Askin’ for something completely absurd at first and then elicitin’ a compromise from the other side is the fundamentals of scammin’ — uh, I mean, negotiatin’.

We also managed to make her feel guilty about havin’ rejected us “out of her own convenience” this time.

Since Kohaku-chan and Merumeru appealed to her emotions and reason, she was like, “I want to do something for them”, “I have to do something”.

HiMERU: — Yes. She had to do that in order to prove that no unjust treatment or discrimination was taking place at ES.

And because she empathized with our feelings as idols, Oukawa’s included, she had no choice but to help us find another job.

It’s not just that it’s difficult on an emotional level to reject someone else outright…

If she hadn’t paid us some kind of “hush money”, we could’ve leaked the video of Amagi prostrating himself on the web, too.

Niki: Did this guy really prostrate himself again? I’m sure you learned that it’s an effective measure, but it’s really disgraceful, y’know?

Rinne: Oh, shut it. Whose fault do ya think it is that I learned such a move that’s totally unbefitting of a chief in the first place, huh?

Anyway, that’s how Anzu-chan got us this Hot Limit gig in place of the summer festival crowd pullin’ job.

Niki: In other words, it’s a chicken nugget party, huh! So where are they selling ‘em? I’ve gotten sooo hungry~♪

Kohaku: Yer always hungry. It was just a metaphor, this project doesn’t actually have a thing ta do with sellin’ chicken nuggets, a’ight?

Niki: Eh~? How mean! You totally made me get my hopes up…!

Kohaku: You were the one who came up with the chicken nugget metaphor in the first place, y’know.

Rinne: Fufun. Well, I dunno if they sell chicken nuggets specifically, but I prepared a way for ya to sate your hunger here — so don’t worry, Niki.

Ya may not believe me no matter how many times I say this, but everything I do, I do for my beloved Niki! For realsies ♪

Niki: Hm~...? You could lend it at least a little bit of credibility if you said it more seriously, so why do you always have to make it sound like you’re just messing around?

——————

* Main Story spoilers: The Justice Beam is an “attack” Ryuseitai employed against Crazy:B on stage to defeat them.

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Hot Limit - Epilogue 1

CW: Domestic Violence Mention, Murder Mention

Location: Hot Limit Stage

- One week later. The abnormal heat wave still continues into the last third of September. On the day of Hot Limit, a project to beat the summer heat -

Rinne: “Gyahahaha! Thanks for coming, dipshits! Didja enjoy your summer to the fullest?!”

“Just one more week to go and then you’ll be forced to marry this pushy guy named autumn or whatever*, who snuggles up to everyone like he’s their friend!”

“But before that! Why don’t you enjoy one last party of this annoying summer with us bunch of nuisances who never do anything but aggressive, unpleasant shit?”

“Then you’ll have no regrets when it’s time to part ways!”

“Fireworks, wind chimes, watermelons, swimsuits! Let’s tightly embrace all these summery things and confirm our love for summer once more! Won’t that be fun!?”

“What’s that? You can’t find it in yourselves to love it after all? You’re sick of this never-ending humidity?”

“Like I give a shit! Save those complaints for some bigwig, like God or the banker who runs this gambling den called Earth: the sun!”

“♪ ~ ♪ ~ ♪”

Niki: Umm~... Sorry to interrupt you when you’re in the middle of rampaging on stage right from the get-go as usual, but what exactly is this?

Weren’t we gonna be crowd pullers for some summer festival?

I mean, the crowd here does seem as hyped as if they were at one, but somehow this still seems wildly different from a normal temple festival…?

Or maybe I just don’t get it because I wasn’t really listening to any of the stuff you guys said about this?

HiMERU: — How about you listen to people when they talk from now on, okay, Shiina? This world is full of traps set by devils to ensnare people who abdictate their right to think for themselves, you know.

Kohaku: Like the fine print in contracts, fer example. Loan sharks in particular like t’employ that old trick.

HiMERU: — Indeed. So don’t just let yourself get carried by the flow, Shiina. Rather, you should record every single injustice Amagi inflicts on you in order to collect evidence of his transgressions.

It’ll serve you well in assembling a criminal case and may become the deciding factor in court once you sue him.

Niki: No, I don’t plan to sue him though…

Kohaku: But why wouldn’t ya? Love? Is it ‘cause of love?

HiMERU: (whispering) Shh, he’s only saying that because Amagi might kill him if he finds out that he’s suing him.

Kohaku: (whispering) Ooh, now I get it. Ya often hear that happenin’ ta victims of domestic violence.

Rinne: What irritatin’ shit are you whisperin’ about behind my back here?

How’s about you guys get in gear and do your jobs already? At this rate Anzu-chan’s never gonna get us another job again, y’know?

Niki: “Anzu-chan”… So this is another project Anzu Nee-san produced?

Rinne: You got it. She’s really got the skills — This event was put together on the fly by her.

Despite that, it turned out great. She prepared outfits, songs, and staff, and now the event looks so well put together that you’d think it’s been in the works for way longer.

I’ll leave the judgment of her work’s quality to the experts, but I can at least say that her speed’s at the top of the industry.

Apparently, performances back at Yumenosaki were often prepared at top speeds within even less than a week, so Anzu-chan’s probably used to it.

We can make use of that “speed”. ‘Course, ya can’t resolve anything and everything in the industry with speed alone, it ain’t that easy, but as long as you’ve got even a single weapon, you can fight.

Gyahaha. Very well, for the time bein’ I’ll acknowledge that you’re a worthy producer, Anzu-chan ♪

Niki: Why’re you talking down to her.

Rinne: Heh. It ain’t about who’s at the top and who’s on the bottom; we’re equal work partners here.

And that’s exactly why it was possible for us to negotiate together, instead of one side only givin’ or receivin’ orders from the other.

Kohaku: Yeah. Niki-han, ya probably don’t know this ‘cause ya had to leave halfway into the briefing session and weren’t even listenin’ fer the part ya actually attended in the first place.

But in the end, we were deemed unfit for that local government’s strait-laced job after all — the crowd pulling fer that summer festival, that is.

HiMERU: Yes. HiMERU already alluded to the reason for this back when the discussion of this job began, so he won’t get into it again.

Niki: Ahh~... Back when you were all talking and you said something about us being the messiahs of evil or whatever, right? My memory of that whole thing was basically wiped from my brain getting all shaken when I was put into a headlock, though.

Rinne: Oh~? So you’re gonna blame your crappy memory on us now, Mr. Middle School Graduate?

Niki: I’m not hearing this from a guy whose academic background is “none”. And anyway, it’s not even about my memory, I just had no interest in the stuff you were saying.

But I see how it is~... I bet HiMERU-kun and Kohaku-chan did their best to ask Nee-san for that job and all, but she didn’t entrust us with it in the end.

Kohaku: Actually, she got pretty close to handin’ us the job for a moment there. Rinne-han started usin’ all kinds of dirty tricks like coercion to get his way, y’see. Even someone like Anzu-han would buckle under that kinda pressure.

But Anzu-han’s mighty impressive. She stayed surprisingly strong in the face of adversity.

She evaluated the qualities an’ circumstances of each of the units that attended the briefing session…

And ultimately decided that entrustin’ that crowdpullin’ job to the Ryuseitai rookies after all would be the best course of action.

———————-

* The “aki” in the name Chiaki is the kanji for “autumn”

Entry tags:

Hot Limit - Comeback Elegy 4

CW: Lighthearted Mention of Murder, Death By Hanging Mention

Location: Meeting Room

HiMERU: (But humans aren’t androids. They’ll frequently act contrary to reason.)

(Devoting themselves to other people again and again, despite it leading to nothing but harm to themselves, like that Saint Bastard did*.)

(And that’s exactly why — )

Kohaku: Well, let’s put those triflin’ logical arguments aside fer a moment. Whether you’ll believe us at this point or not, we do wanna work as proper idols.

‘Course, everyone else in this room, includin’ the Ryuseitai folks, likely also got their own reasons fer wantin’ this job.

Otherwise they wouldn’t be participatin’ in this briefing session.

But the same goes fer us. We’re not just heartless insects who were swept here on some breeze or anythin’.

HiMERU: (Sympathy, — )

Kohaku: We also— I also wanna work as a proper idol.

I wanna stand on the same stage as the rest of Crazy:B, who I’ve more or less grown close with an’ who I feel are all facin’ the same direction as me.

That is what I wanna do.

HiMERU: (Emotions, and ardour.)

Kohaku: I’m sure ya know this, Anzu-han — But I work in the shadows as part of Double Face. Still, the shadows can only exist ‘cause there’s light.

If I can’t work on the surface, as part of Crazy:B, an’ do proper idol jobs…

With only the underground ta hold on to, I’ll end up an incomplete, filthy human.

An’ I don’t want that.

HiMERU: (A childish tantrum devoid of logic. And based on that, an entreaty.)

(I’d expect nothing less from you, Oukawa. HiMERU can’t tell if you’re doing this intentionally or if it comes naturally to you — But you’re appealing precisely to her emotions.)

Kohaku: I heard you’ve been supportin’ my partner — Madara-han’s — public face, MaM.

Then it’s unfair if ya don’t treat me the same way.

Folks are gonna accuse ya of playin’ favorites ‘cause Madara-han’s yer childhood friend — part of yer inner circle.

Or am I just disposable fuel to you? Did ya only use me ta make yer precious Madara-han shine even brighter, just ta discard me after?

That’s so heartless of ya.

HiMERU: (Fufu. He’s persistently speaking to her emotions.)

(Anzu-san acquiesced to the activities of Double Face, so you could even say she’s an accomplice who conspired with them — It would’ve been possible to threaten her about that.)

(But Oukawa doesn’t seem willing to do something like that to Anzu-san.)

(Indeed, she didn’t actually dirty her hands — Consequently she’s not impure, not a villain, and so Oukawa won’t resort to violent measures against her.)

(You’re being impartial. No, you probably want to do things correctly.)

(Even if you’ve already become impure to the bone, you still want to live in a way that won’t bring shame to the Lord**.)

Kohaku: ? What’re ya smilin’ fer, HiMERU-han?

HiMERU: Oh, it’s nothing. HiMERU was just thinking that he has always loved adorably pathetic creatures so much that he can hardly bear it ♪

Kohaku: Hmm? What d’ya mean, “adorably pathetic”? Is there some kinda bug in here?

HiMERU: Oh yes. There are indeed four unpleasant insects buzzing around in this room.

— No, wait, it appears we lost one of them.

Rinne: ………..

Kohaku: Huh? Rinne-han, what happened ta Niki-han? Don’t tell me ya actually went an’ hanged the fella?

Rinne: Naaah… That guy got slapped with a summons from the Cinnamon store manager, so he went rushin’ back to the shop.

Kohaku: Aah, I guess Niki-han was kinda in the middle of his shift, huh. He probably got scolded for steppin’ out fer so long.

Rinne: Who knows. From what I overheard of their conversation, there are some developments happenin’ over there that could prove convenient for us...

But Niki’s completely useless when he’s not standin’ on stage or in a kitchen anyway, so I guess him not bein’ here’s no problem.

More importantly, how’d it go? Did ya guys show off our good sides like I told ya to?

HiMERU: That we did. HiMERU explained his reasoning and Oukawa appealed to her emotions. We employed a two-pronged approach and needled her with our stingers from every direction.

After sustaining these stings, Anzu-san went into deep contemplation.

Rinne: Is this a game of shogi to ya? If we keep dawdlin’ around, summer’s gonna be over in a flash. We don’t want people goin’, “isn’t it a lil’ late for a summer festival?”, do we?

Ya leave me no choice. In order ta make Anzu-chan decide quickly, lil’ old me is gonna give her the last push she needs.

— Anzu-chan.

Kohaku: (Wow, Rinne-han looks uncharacteristically serious. He seems mighty dignified when he’s actin’ proper. I just wish he could be like this all the time.)

Rinne: I implore you. This is the request of a lifetime. Please allow us*** to do this job.

Kohaku: (Uwoah? Didn’t think he’d turn this into a head-on fight. He’s really prostratin’ himself before her and pleadin’ without the slightest shame!)

Rinne: No, please make us men…!

HiMERU: HiMERU regrets to repeat Shiina’s words from earlier, but he believes your choice of words is just horrible.

And this may not be something an idol should say, but it sounds like you’re asking her for something entirely different here.

Rinne: Yeah, go on and film me with your phones, you guys, come on!

If Anzu-chan turns down our request, we’ll spread the recording on the internet with a caption sayin’ “Bigshot Producer Mrs. Anzu Forces Newcomer Idol To Prostrate Before Her?!”.

HiMERU: — So we’re back to coercion after all. And it’s just a boring rehash of what happened with Akatsuki, too.

Kohaku: That’s dirty, Rinne-han. Even fer you, that’s real dirty.

Rinne: (Oh shaddap. This was the best course of action this time around, alright?)

(Now that I’ve done this, Anzu-chan can use it as an explanation to the other idols as to why she gave us this job. She can say that she didn’t have a choice, ‘cause I coerced her.)

(Here at ES, we’re complete outcasts, despised by everyone.)

(If word got out that she’s siding with us, people would think “my enemy’s friend is my enemy” — If things went badly for Anzu-chan, she might even lose her position.)

(In order to avoid that kinda situation, I had to prepare some kind of “excuse” for her.)

(Also, I’ll be able to figure out what kinda person Anzu-chan is by seein’ how she responds to my actions here.)

(Whether she’s only well-liked ‘cause she’s a cute, admirable girl — )

(Or if she’s the real thing, someone who deserves the trust put in her by idols.)

(If I had to choose, I’d want her to be the real thing. Pretty badly, too. Otherwise the guys who ate shit at SS are gonna be turnin’ in their graves.)

(And I*** would turn out to be something even lower than an insect, complete trash that died without even puttin’ up a fight...)

(I need you to have won because you were just that strong. Please, I’m beggin’ you.)

————————

* Kazehaya Tatsumi

** Back at it again with お天道さま which crops up periodically with Kohaku. This word can refer both to the sun as a concept, as well as the god who rules over heaven and earth. It is used in Enstars with both meanings depending on the context in which it’s used.

*** Rinne specifically drops his 俺っち (orecchi) pronoun and uses 俺 instead to show that he is being sincere in instances marked with three asterisks.

Entry tags:

Hot Limit - Comeback Elegy 3

CW: Lighthearted Murder Threat, Death By Hanging Mention

Location: Meeting Room

Rinne: So, to get back to what I was sayin’... Basically, Ryuseitai tossed out that work offer ‘cause they couldn’t pick it up, so now that unwanted garbage job is bein’ pawned off, yeah?

Niki: Horrible choice of words. Just horrible.

Rinne: This offer was originally handed to Ryuseitai. So, thinkin’ logically, it’d make sense to have the newbies in Ryuseitai take it on.

And if we hadn’t thrown our hats in the ring as last-minute entrants, that’s probably how it would’ve actually played out, yeah?

But too bad! We Crazy:B are the ones who’re gonna gain the upper hand at this auction and win the bid for sure!

Or did ya think that couldn’t possibly happen?

Our honorable Producer-chan who’s revered by everyone is definitely gonna be impartial and hand this job to the idols who’re the most suited for it, right?

I trust ya. No — I need ya to prove to us idols that you’re worthy of our trust.

You’re paradin’ around that arrogant title of “producer”, so ya should be able to do that much, yeah?

Niki: (Uwah, now he’s even starting to coerce Anzu Nee-san!? Is this guy for real!?)

(I thought our endgame here was forging a relationship with her~, what’s he doing, making her hate us?)

Rinne: Well then, I’d say we’re done with the gist of the briefing, so let’s get right into the auction part.

We’re gonna compete and you’ll choose whoever’s best suited to take on this job.

I’m talkin’ to you, Anzu-chan.

That was the plan here, right? After the briefing session, the producer’s gonna choose which idols land the job offer, yeah?

Well, it’s obviously gonna be us anyhow, but let’s do this according to the rules. We couldn’t call somethin’ “ours” if we gained it through illegal means, after all.

So, time to show off what we’ve got. C’mon, Niki, go ahead and prove that we’re the best choice for this job!

Niki: Eh, why me of all people? Hmmm... I don’t really get stuff like this, so can I pass?

Rinne: Yep, that’s what I thought you’d say. Alright, Kohaku-chan and Merumeru, I’m leavin’ this in your hands — I’ve got a Niki to hang to death.

Niki: What th-, was my crime that severe!? Y-you tyrant~!

HiMERU: — Hmm. Now that Amagi has turned the atmosphere as sour as it could possibly be, this should prove quite difficult, but allow HiMERU to lay out his reasoning in a way that is beyond the control of the tension in here.

Anzu-san. As you know, we in Crazy:B have been the focus of considerable public attention, both good and bad.

After terrorizing numerous powerhouse units, people must be interested in and curious about us, a unit that’s kicked up a fuss at ES this summer.

Kohaku: D’ya really think we should call it terrorism? I mean, it definitely was terrorism fer sure, though.

HiMERU: Indeed. So, while HiMERU believes it improper to say this to all of you, who must have certainly been harmed by us: It is a fact that we have already been forgiven.

And thanks to the blood, sweat and tears of CosPro, which we’re affiliated with, society treats us as mere victims who have been manipulated by evildoers.

Regardless of what the truth may be, we are considered completely innocent and blameless citizens, the same as all of you.

However, we are currently being deprived of job offers. Even though we have been adjudicated to have committed no crime at all, we are being unfairly punished.

If by any cause, this truth — this composition — became known to society somehow…

Then ES would be unable to keep escaping the criticism of being a company that glosses over things with lip service while repeating the very same inhumane acts in the shadows.

Kohaku: To put it plainly: Folks would think that the stuff ya say and the stuff ya do is like night an’ day.

Well, that’s just what humans are like, though. An’ countries as well as organizations consist of humans, so of course they’ll have two faces: their true feelings an’ their official stance on things.

Still, the world is surprisingly full of clean-freaks who can’t forgive that kinda inconsistency in others. Funnily enough, we proved just that.

Just look at Ryuseitai, who had misinfo spread that they turned down a job simply ‘cause they’re up to their necks in other work —

They hadn’t actually committed any offense at all, but folks still flamed ‘em online fer not “actin’ like they’re on justice’s side” or whatever.*

Well — I guess it ain’t our place to say this when we incited exactly that kinda type of public consensus in the first place.

It’s rare for anyone to come out all pretty an’ clean in this deplorable world where the slightest thing will stain ya in mud.

HiMERU: Exactly. HiMERU apologizes if this comes off as being defiant — but taking this into account, we believe ES should treat us no differently than they treat any other idols.

In order to prove that no unfair punishment or discrimination is taking place here, that is.

Also, Crazy:B is, impartially speaking, objectively superior to any idol in this room.

Our track record is ample proof of this. With barely any exceptions, every single show we played so far was in front of a sell-out crowd.

( — Well, those were technically the live shows of highly popular units like Akatsuki and UNDEAD, though.)

(In other words, it’s no wonder that the audience seats were full, since the guests had already sat down before we raided the live shows.)

(But all that remains is data that doesn’t take these facts into account, and according to that data — )

(Crazy:B has a track record showcasing outstanding results.)

(And the idols in this room, including the newcomers of Ryuseitai, are all complete novices with no track record to speak of at all.)

(Any producer with economical sense would discard their personal feelings at this point and decide to choose us instead.)

(It’s the reasonable thing to do.)

——————

* Referring to events from !! Main Story

Entry tags:

Hot Limit - Comeback Elegy 2

Location: Meeting Room

Rinne: Allow me to summarize for ya, Anzu-chan!

Aah? You idol wannabes sure look like you’re itchin’ to say, “don’t show up late and then act like you’re in charge here”, huh?

Come at me if you’ve got a problem with that, we’re always down for a fight! Gyahahaha ☆

Kohaku: Are you some kinda yakuza, or what? Ya can’t threaten folks so much; laws have gotten mighty strict nowadays. That goes double for the area around ES.

HiMERU: — Indeed. Regardless of what the truth may be, we have supposedly become good people now, having been reformed through MDM. Or at the very least, we have to pretend to be as such.

This being the official stance from the official announcement, anyhow.

Rinne: Eh~? We’re not pretendin’! We’ve really been reborn as good boys, haven’t we?

And to prove it, we’d like to take on this respectable, orthodox idol job. Ya followin’ me so far, Anzu-chan?

This project’s client is the local government, and it’s some square-ass job that involves being crowd pullers for a summer festival.

Originally this job was supposed to go to Ryuseitai, who did it last year and made it a great success.

But Ryuseitai’s kinda breakin’ down right now, and they’re basically dead in the water, yeah?

From what I heard, their agency’s been makin’ a bunch of shitty decisions, causin’ a schism between those guys, right?

Well, I made it sound all serious, but it’s Ryuseitai we’re talkin’ about here. They’re totally gonna resolve it in some super wholesome way anyhow.

Those guys bounced back from our onslaught with smiles on their faces, and they’ve got some surprising potential. They’re a powerhouse unit that really has it together, y’know?

...Oh? You there, ya got something to say to me? Ahh, the crowd over is all Ryuseitai-N members, huh?

Where’d ya leave your oh-so-splendid seniors and the leader of the N squad, Nagumo or whatever his name was?

Oho, I bet they abandoned ya ‘cause you’re a pretty useless bunch, huh? Gyahaha ☆

— Woah there, don’t go losin’ your shit from just a li’l provocation. That red piece of shit, Morisawa or whatever, is gonna weep in his grave, y’know?

…‘Til the bitter end, that guy was never the type to respond to violence with more violence, or to malice with more malice.

Poor Ryuseitai. If their juniors are gonna be like this, they’ve got a dark future ahead of ‘em for sure.

Niki: Dude, why does it feel like you’re picking a fight with them? This kind of attitude is so inappropriate when you’re here to ask for a job, Rinne-kun!

Rinne: Oh, zip it. Just keep your mouth shut, Niki; it’s a~ll goin’ according to plan.

HiMERU: — Hmm. Presumably, this is a trial from Ryuseitai for these nameless newcomers. Or possibly an initiation.

Kohaku: What d’ya mean by that?

HiMERU: Well, this is mere conjecture, but taking into consideration how none of the five best members of Ryuseitai, who’re famous for being overprotective, are present —

It could mean that the newcomers to Ryuseitai are here to practice getting a job on their own, without relying on their seniors.

Kohaku: Ahh, you fellers made me do something like that a while ago too, didn’t ya.*

HiMERU: Yes. Another possibility is that landing a job by themselves is a condition they need to meet in order to make some sort of demand to their seniors.

Or maybe they want to prove their abilities in order to assuage their seniors’ worries.

HiMERU doesn’t know which of these is correct, but, well, he’d wager it’s something in that ballpark.

Rinne: Gyahaha! In that case, too bad! Your plan is gonna be a complete failure!

‘Cause that job you guys’ve set your eyes on is goin’ to none other than us, Crazy:B!

This shit cracks me up, man!

Ryuseitai always talks all big about bein’ “the shooting stars that grant everyone’s wishes”, but they can’t even grant their own! Pffhahahaha ♪

— But, well, that’s just the way the dice roll. As your elder in the idol industry, let this kind Onii-san teach ya a valuable lesson: The industry ain’t as soft as ya think.

Lil’ babies who can’t even stand up an’ walk without the protection of their guardians should just go back home and cry to their mommies and daddies ♪ Gyahahaha!

Niki: Hrrm. The stuff you say is as awful as it is captivating. Just with those words, you managed to draw the ire of everyone in this room except for us.

Rinne: I don’t mind. Other idols can hate me as much as they like, I don’t give a fuck. We’re not best bosom buddies here; we’re business rivals, got it?

All I did was demonstrate this truth to ‘em in an easy-to-understand way, yeah?

If they stepped in here without the resolve to endure bein’ hurt, threatenin’ ‘em into haulin’ ass outta here is what constitutes real kindness!

———————
* Honey Bee Scout Story

Entry tags:

Hot Limit - Comeback Elegy 1

Location: Meeting Room

- Back in the present. Shiina Niki is lost in thought as the briefing session goes in one ear and out the other for him -

Niki: (After that — )

(I woke up, enticed by the smell of something tasty. When I opened my eyes, a vast array of food was spread out before me. Naturally, I thought I’d died and gone to Heaven for real.)

(I thought God had witnessed the good deeds I did in the moments before my death and, forgiving my father’s sins, allowed me, his son, into the Heavenly Kingdom.)

(But I was so wrong~... As it turned out, all the ingredients lined up around me were things that Rinne-kun had extorted from residents of my neighborhood.)

(That criminal~! And by the time Rinne-kun explained that part to me, I had already stuffed myself to my heart’s content with those raw ingredients…)

(Of course, I couldn’t exactly barf the food back up at that point, so I had no response for Rinne-kun when he told me “Now you’re my accomplice ♪”.)

(I thought I was gonna be arrested along with him if the truth got out…)

(And I thought that I’d be causing trouble for my father, who was finally on his way to recovery, and my mother, who supported him, if I became a criminal.)

(So, since I thought that Rinne-kun had dirt on me, I couldn’t defy him at all, and little by little…)

(Just as Rinne-kun had wanted, we did a lot of research and ended up trying to become idols together.)

(One thing led to another, and here we are now. Ahh~, in hindsight, picking up Rinne-kun back then really was the crossroads of my fate.)

(I should’ve just ignored him, gone home and ate my nikujaga~.)

(I never should’ve let him in my house, never should’ve made that meal for him and never should’ve decided to let him eat it~.)

(If I’d left Rinne-kun to die back then, it definitely would’ve been to the benefit of all of humanity! That guy really causes nothing but trouble for others!)

(...But then, much later, I was chatting idly with my neighbors when I found out the truth of the matter.)

(Rinne-kun might’ve acted tough and said that he “extorted the food”, but in reality, he prostrated himself and earnestly implored them to share their ingredients with him.)

(Surprisingly, people can’t really turn someone down when they beg in earnest, and there’s kindness to be found everywhere*... Besides, we live in an age of plentiful food, and so everyone shared small portions of their foodstuffs, bit by bit.)

(It was actually such a heartwarming story, and yet…)

(I don’t know if Rinne-kun was trying to act all cool or what, but he’d tricked me by using criminal-sounding words like “extortion”.)

(Rinne-kun probably just wasn’t able to escape the fetters of the education he’d received from a young age, and the habit of conducting himself as a “chief”.)

(He must’ve thought that a chief — that is, a king — may extort people, but would never resort to begging.)

(I’m sure he couldn’t have told me that he knelt down before them and pleaded with them to share their food. It would’ve been way too embarrassing.)

(Even if it was in order to save me — Even if his actions were free of sin, completely harmless and virtuous…)

(He must’ve believed that if he acted unbefitting of a chief, he’d lose the right to be one — No, he must’ve instinctively feared that he’d turn into nothingness the moment he did that. Isn’t that right, Rinne-kun?)

(You’re such an idiot, always putting on airs. Well, I guess that makes me the even bigger dumbass for believing the lies of a dumbass like you.)

(Because I’m an idiot... Back then I was so afraid of the police that I didn’t leave my house in days.)

(Well, Rinne-kun stayed at my place after that, and I guess the time spent playing games he brought over from god-knows-where and all that was a lot of fun.)

(But it’s really a bad habit of mine to get enticed by the fun times and food right before my eyes and neglect thinking about anything all that deeply~.)

(That’s exactly why I always get tricked and used by smarter people.)

(...Well, I guess I’m fine with that, though. As long as I’m useful, I’ll be needed, and I’ll stay well-fed and alive.)

(I won’t complain if I can survive, at the very least. As long as I can eat tasty food every day—)

Rinne: Oi, Niki. Ya listenin’ to the briefing at all? Aah?

Niki: Huh? Of course not, why do you ask?

Rinne: What do you mean, “of course not”, asshole?

Take this seriously, alright? I know you can do it if you try, Niki...♪

Niki: I wonder about this all the time, but really: What do you base this strangely high opinion of me on, Rinne-kun?

Rinne: Your everyday behaviour. Nah, it’s rule of thumb, based on my experiences with ya ♪

Anyway, as I explained earlier, we wanna form a bond with that bigshot producer, Anzu-chan.

And to make that happen, we’ve gotta snag this project no matter what.

Anzu-chan’s a real popular one, so jobs like this don’t usually open up to the common raffle.

She prolly doesn’t have the time for that, and I bet she’s got way more famous idols linin’ up ‘round the block to get produced by her anyhow.

She’s completely booked for the foreseeable future, so newbies like us don’t get their turn.

Which is exactly why this project is our first and final chance.

Take extra care to conduct yourself accordingly, will ya? That goes for you guys too, Kohaku-chan, Merumeru.

Make sure ya appeal to Anzu-chan, ‘cause if we can each leave an impression on her, Crazy:B’s gonna get chosen to carry out this project.

All we gotta do to win is make Anzu-chan want to place her bets on us ♪

——————-

* Faithful readers may recognize this as our old friend, 渡る世間に鬼はない (There are no demons (bad people) in the world). This often comes up in Enstars stories and seems to be one of Kohaku’s favorite sayings, which he brought up in his original idol story when relying on a stranger’s kindness (Anzu), and later decided is actually untrue in Honey Bee Chapter 6. Something tells me we will see this one come up again and again in Crazy:B stories that often revolve around society and its morals, so keep an eye out!

Entry tags:

Hot Limit - Monologue 3

Location: Shiina Residence

Rinne: You—

Eh? What? Who’re you again? What is this place?

Niki: Nahaha, this is where I live~♪

Rinne: And I’m asking who exactly you are, now answer me.

Niki: Ah, my name’s Shiina Niki. I’m a middle schooler.

Rinne: Middle… schooler…?

Niki: Oh, do I not look my age? I’ve really been growing like crazy lately~. The only downside is that my calorie expenditure grows along with my body ♪

You look pretty jacked too, Onii-san! With that kinda body, I bet your calorie expenditure’s real impressive, too! Life’s such a struggle, isn’t it?

Rinne: Ahh... Yeah, life sure is a struggle, generally speakin’.

Niki: I know, right! That’s why we’ve got to help each other out! My mom used to tell me the same thing, that we have to help each other out when someone’s troubled! To sum it up, it’s the food chain!

Rinne: Huh? Uh, sure…?

Niki: Ah, do you want some nikujaga?

Rinne: Nikujaga?

Oh, isn’t that this dish that used to be beef stew…? And then the armed forces prepared it Japanese style and it became nikujaga?

Niki: Nah, apparently that’s just folklore. Onii-san, you don’t seem to know a lot about food~. Are you the type who doesn’t do his own cooking or something?

Rinne: Aah, yeah… At home, our servants are the ones who generally prepare our meals.

Niki: Servants? Eh, Onii-san, are you some kind of rich boy from a good family?

Yesss, that means I can expect a great reward! Which means I’ll make it through the summer…!

Fu fu fu. Here, go ahead, have some of this nikujaga ♪

I’m sorry it’s just yesterday’s leftovers, but I promise it’s tasty! I’ve been trained by my father from a young age, see!

Niki: Here, open wi~de…

I just finished reheating it, so be careful that you don’t burn your tongue. The tongue’s crucial after all.

Rinne: Munch. ...Wow, this is tasty. So that’s what nikujaga tastes like. Good to know.

Niki: Nahaha. The nikujaga I made is à la maison, though~. The foundation of that is making the cheapest possible ingredients taste good.

I’m almost out of seasoning, so the flavor might be a little on the bland side, though.

Rinne: No really, it’s tasty. Thanks. You’re gonna make a great bride one day.

Niki: Yeah, no. I’m not gonna be any kind of bride, good or bad. I’m a guy, y’know?

Rinne: Hmm. So that’s how it works in the city, huh.

More importantly… Why are you doing this? Is this an attempt at charity?

Niki: Huh? Umm~, I don’t really know how to respond to that when you ask me for the reason so deliberately…

Well, there’s no real reason, I guess?

Rinne: What the hell do you mean, no real reason?

Niki: Nahaha. Sorry, I just live for no real reason, so.

To be honest, I can’t really afford to do unnecessary stuff, either.

But if I abandoned someone who’s clearly on the verge of death, I wouldn’t be able to enjoy the taste of my meals afterwards, right?

Rinne: That’s all there is to it, huh.

Niki: That’s all there is to it! Enjoying my meals is suuuper important. To me in particular.

Rinne: Hmm. So that’s what citizens are like. I guess securing food for our subjects is an important duty of ours as well.

Niki: ………

Rinne: Hm? Oi, kid — What’s wrong? Aren’t you looking a bit unsteady on your feet?

Niki: Well~... I knew I was about to run out of energy but still forced myself to move around and talk, and now it looks I’m about to hit my limit.

I’m really so stupid, huh? My priorities are always out of order…

Ah~... I might die.

Rinne: A-are you okay? What am I supposed to do? Is there something I can do for you?

Niki: ………

Rinne: Hey! Can you hear me, uhh — Shiina Niki!?

Niki: Ah… Yeah, Niki-kun’s alright.

Rinne: I’m in such a panic because you don’t seem alright at all!

Niki: Ah~... I’m sorry, and here I meant to live my life in a way that won’t cause too much trouble for other people. Because my dad failed big time at that.

He can’t even eat food normally anymore… But I guess I really am my father’s son. It’s my fate to mess up the same way he did.

Rinne: What’s fate? Are you talking about the path that God or whoever decided for you?

Niki: Yep, that’s the one. Or in other words, the limit of living beings’ abilities.

Nahaha. I’m an unlucky kid who lost the lottery of life, so, y’know, there’s nothing I can do about it. I always had a feeling this day would come sooner or later.

And that day is today, probably. But I feel like I did a good deed at the end of my life, so to me, this was the best end I could hope for.

— Thank you for enjoying my nikujaga.

Rinne: O-oi? Don’t close your eyes! What’s wrong with you, don’t just give up as if you’re okay with this!

Niki: ………

Rinne: (— Guh! What the hell’s going on! I don’t get it, but I can’t let this guy die like this!)

(What kind of village chief would I be if I just let my subject kick the bucket after receiving a favor from him!)

(If this “fate” thing really exists, then as chief, I have to be able to save my subject — Please, God!)

Entry tags:

Hot Limit - Monologue 2

Location: Amagi Residence

- A memory, or perhaps within a dream -

Hiiro: — Nii-san, I thought ceaselessly about your question from the other day, but…

Rinne: Ah? What question?

Hiiro: You asked me something like, “When you grow up, what kind of adult do you want to become, Hiiro?”, didn’t you, Nii-san?

Rinne: Ooh, that. Did you come up with a response to it?

Hiiro: I have.

Rinne: Yeah? Then tell me all about it during our evening meal. If I’ve got that to look forward to, then I’ll be able to blast through today’s studies and governing duties easily.

Hiiro: You always seem to have it tough, Nii-san.

Rinne: It’s not tough, it’s routine work.

Hiiro: Ruuchin?

Rinne: It means it’s bothersome work that tires you out when you do it earnestly, but which you can get through without thinking about it.

Hiiro: Hmm.

Still, work is work; it must be tough. No one your age in the whole village works as hard as you do, Nii-san. I wish I could do something to help you.

Rinne: Just knowing you feel that way is enough for me already, Hiiro.

Hiiro: ………

Rinne: …? Is something still the matter?

Hiiro: M-mh. I just think that I’d like to think about that question a little harder, because I want to come up with a reply that will please you, Nii-san.

Because, if I give the wrong answer, I will disappoint you, Nii-san.

I think that the more you look forward to my response, the bigger your disappointment will be. And, I don’t know how to say it — I don’t want that.

Rinne: Oi oi, you think I’ll reject the response you came up with?

Hiiro: Even if you don’t reject it, Nii-san, I think there’s no point to it if it’s an incorrect answer.

It’d mean that I didn’t answer your question properly — that I didn’t fulfill my duty.

Rinne: You’re such a handful.

Hiiro: Yes. And you know, Nii-san… I thought about it lots and lots, but there’s so much I don’t know, so I don’t have any confidence in the conclusion I drew.

When you think about it candidly, my future has already been decided for me. You should be well aware of this too, Nii-san. As the younger brother of the village chief, I will be his advisor. There is no other future for me.

Rinne: ...Yeah. Well no, if I died, you’d become the chief in my place.

Hiiro: ………

Rinne: Hmm? Why are you hugging me? Need attention?

Hiiro: It’s because you said you were going to die, Nii-san.

Rinne: My bad. I’m not going to die, and I’m not going anywhere either, so don’t worry.

...So? Were you going to respond with, “As you are well aware, Nii-san, I’m going to become your advisor” with your head held high?

Hiiro: Yes. But, it feels like you’re not going to accept that answer, Nii-san…

After all, there wouldn’t be a point in asking me that question if you wanted to receive such an obvious answer to it.

Rinne: You’re a real clever one, Hiiro.

Hiiro: I’m not. Compared to you, Nii-san, I am stupid. But that’s also why I want to think about it even harder.

But, no matter how hard I think about it, I just don’t get it.

My future has been decided at birth, so any other future would be wrong.

But that “one and only correct answer” may be what you consider a “wrong answer”, Nii-san.

So I just don’t know anymore.

Rinne: Mhm. To amend my earlier statement, you’re so clever that you circle all the way around to being stupid again.

Hiiro: You really say difficult things sometimes, Nii-san.

Anyway. I want to make you happy, Nii-san, so I want to find the answer you are looking for. In order to do that, I would like to hear an example solution I can use as a reference.

Rinne: An example solution...?

Hiiro: Yes. ...Nii-san, what kind of adult do you want to be when you grow up?

Location: Shiina Residence

- Awakening from the dream. Four years ago, in Shiina Niki’s home -

Rinne: ……!

(...It was just a dream.)

(He gets under my skin just rememberin’ him, that Hiiro. It comes naturally to him. What a frightening little brother, leaving scars on the heart of his Onii-chan he’s oughta respect.)

(...How did I even reply to him back then...?)

(Nah, I think back at that point in time the only thing I could’ve come up with was “the same answer as you, Hiiro”... Talkin’ about my dreams just made me feel embarrassed, so I must’ve just dodged the question somehow.)

(When I met that idol in the city later, I was so excited about it that I ended up tellin’ him about my dream, though. But Hiiro probably didn’t believe that this was my “solution”.)

(No, back then I — I’m sure I ended up playing it off as a joke later to gloss over it.)

(‘Cause when you talk seriously about your dreams and then don’t end up achieving them, it’s just embarrassing. And then he’d be the one disappointed in me, since he respects someone like me so much.)

(Even though Hiiro was born just to assist me… Even though he was going to use up his whole life for that purpose…)

(To him, I am his whole life — So if I were to turn out to be a foolish and useless human…)

(That’d be the worst. That’s why I’ll study and train, so I can become a better version of myself. Or at least, that was the plan.)

(I was going to become a proper human being, so strong and undefeatable that I’d be able to achieve any dream.)

(And once I did, I was going to answer you.)

(...But in the end, I just ran out of time. I couldn’t take it anymore and ran away from home.)

(I did something awful to Hiiro, huh… Maybe he’s still waiting for my “example solution”, even now.)

(Since my little brother was raised to be so damn earnest, he probably won’t give me the “response” I want from him until he hears mine.)

(I’m sorry, Hiiro. Seems like your Onii-chan is still not a great enough human to be able to give you the solution to that question with his head held high.)

Niki: Oh, you’re up, huh?

Rinne: ……?

Niki: What a relief~♪ It would have really sucked if you died at my place, y’know! It would’ve looked almost like I killed you or something!

And if the police questioned me about it, I wouldn’t have had a response for them. This really isn’t the same as picking up some stray dog or cat, after all!

It’s not like I could’ve just told them, “I picked him up and brought him home and then he died”!

Entry tags:

Hot Limit - Monologue 1

Location: Bustling Street (Night)

- Four years ago, in the middle of summer -

Niki: (Ahh~, geez… This is really bad, I think my life’s really at its end this time…)

(I’ve got nothing to eat for tomorrow!)

(I should still have some meat and potatoes for today, and I should still have a bit of rice so I should be able to survive the day — But I have no ingredients for tomorrow!)

(It’s all the summer heat’s fault, the humidity of the summer made all my food go moldy~!)

(I hate summer!)

(Just moving my body eats away at me already, and during the hot season, my mom and dad stay cooped up in a cooler country and don’t visit me~!)

(I should’ve just gone with them in the first place!)

(But I’ve got my school and friends here, and I dunno other countries’ languages and cultures!)

(And at the level I’m at right now, I couldn’t withstand the journey to search for ingredients that my parents are currently undertaking either!)

(If I tagged along with them, my life would just become an endless search for ingredients while traveling all over the place…)

(Well, my mom and dad chose that life for themselves voluntarily.)

(And with my dad’s mental state, it must be hard for him to return to this country, so this lifestyle must be more convenient for him.)

(If your country doesn’t provide for you and only harms you, it’s fine to abandon it.)

(But I want a life that’s different from the one my parents lead— )

(...Well, before that I need to find something to eat for tomorrow, otherwise that’ll be where my life comes to an end anyway.)

(What am I gonna do~, maybe I should search for some edible wildflowers and bugs? If I don’t hurry, my mental faculties are gonna shut down and I won’t be able to tell if something’s okay to eat or not anymore!)

(Uwaaahn, I bet I’m the only one in all of modern Japan who’s this close to starving to death for real!)

(I’m all alone! Even if I tell people about these worries, they can’t ever empathize with them~!)

Rinne: ………

Niki: (...Ngyoh!?)

(Huh? I was looking around for ingredients, but found some weird guy instead! I wonder what’s the matter with him — why’s he sitting down by the wayside like that?)

(Maybe he’s sick? Like, he can’t move because he’s in so much pain or something?)

(W-Well, he looks kinda scary, and this really isn’t the time for me to worry about others…)

(He’s got nothing to do with me, nothing at all. The sooner I get home, the better. Then I’ll read that survival book on how to find edible ingredients in the city.)

(So that I’ll be able to live past tomorrow.)

(Even if I’m all alone. Even if I live the life of a bug, only ever looking for my next meal.)

(.........)

(...Uuuuugh~, geez! I’m such an idiot! Now that I’ve noticed him, I can’t ignore him!)

(Yeah, if I went home like this, it might bother me so much that I wouldn’t even be able to focus on finding ingredients.)

(And who knows, if that guy really is in trouble and I lend him my help, he might buy me some food out of gratitude!)

(This is all out of self-interest, I’m absolutely not wasting my time here!)

E-Excuse me~...?

Rinne: ……..?

…You talking to me? Why? Am I bein’ an eyesore?*

My bad. I’ll go somewhere else right away — gh?

Niki: Uwah, don’t try to move so suddenly! You’re wavering!

Rinne: Shut up… Wait, you’re just some brat, aren’tcha?

Kids should stay the hell away from me. I hate ‘em. ‘Cause they’re all idiots. Now shoo.

Niki: I-I don’t think we’re that far apart in age, actually.

I-I guess I was being a bother, huh? I’m sorry, okay? Nahaha...♪

Rinne: What’s funny.

Niki: Umm, it’s just that smiling is the one common language in the world? As long as you keep smiling, things will work out one way or another, right?

Rinne: Hmph, brats like you sure have it easy. As for me, my stupid fuckin’ upbringing and pride are gettin’ in the way of coming by some food, so I’m real destitute.

Niki: Dess-tee-tude? Is that something like an onion? Or some kind of root vegetable?

Rinne: Exactly, at this point I gotta nibble on tree roots in order to stave off the hunger. Wait, you callin’ me a rat? I’m gonna beat your ass!

Niki: Huh? Eh? Why’re you getting angry? Did I say something weird again?

This happens all the time~, somehow I never mesh with my classmates when we talk. Apparently other people don’t think about food all day long.

Back in grade school it wasn’t a big deal, but once I started middle school I began to wonder if I’m kinda weird that way—

Rinne: ………

Niki: ……? Onii-san, are you okay? D-Did you die?

Please don’t die right in front of my eyes~, I was told that human meat is the one thing I mustn’t ever eat.

Rinne: ...Hmm, so for what it’s worth, you do think of me as human, as a fellow human being.

Niki: Well, isn’t that to be expected? No matter how I look at you, Onii-san, you’re a human just like me.

Rinne: I’m not.

Even now, I’m probably “something other than human”.

Niki: Oh, you’ve got this chuunibyou thing, don’t you? I know about that!

Now and then, I’ve had classmates who’ve been acting like that, too. Even though they’re clearly masses of protein and such, like the rest of us—

Rinne: ………

Niki: H-Huh? Onii-san? Did you just faint? He~ey, seriously, are you okay…!?

-----------------------------

* TL Note: 4 years ago, Rinne did not use his current pronoun of choice, "orecchi", but the more casual and normal "ore".

Entry tags:

Hot Limit - Late Summer Insects 4

Location: Meeting Room

- A few minutes later, in the Meeting Room located within ES. Midway into the briefing session -

Rinne: Gyahahaha! Tremble in fear! Run for the exits! The bees are loose…!

Kohaku: Oi, when ya enter a room, ya gotta say “excuse me”, right?

Keep yer lack of manners to a reasonable minimum, will ya? Look, ya scared the other idols in the room so bad they can’t even stand.

HiMERU: — Hmm. HiMERU almost wants to wager that Amagi’s impoliteness was purposely overacted to an extent that it comes off as a performance in itself.

— Mm? What are you doing, Shiina? You’re coming in with us.

Niki: Ah, please wait just a second. I’m texting the store manager from Cinnamon to say that I’m gonna be late to work after all—

Wawawah, don’t pull me!

Kohaku: Fufu. Please excuse the fuss, Anzu-han ♪

Rinne: Whassup, o’ reliable producer sis! Anzu-chan! Just as promised, I came back with my buddies in tow ♪

‘Cause I’m the serious type, always as good as my word! Gyahahahaha ♪

Kohaku: Huh? Did ya already attend this briefing session on yer own earlier?

Rinne: Sure did. Your courageous and admirable Rinne-kun’s been conscientiously makin’ appearances in all kinds of conferences and the like, huntin’ for a project that’ll open the door to our future!

Kohaku: Hmmm. An’ here I thought you were just gamblin’ yer time away at pachinko parlors. Gotta say, I’m seein’ ya in a slightly better light, Rinne-han.

Rinne: Gyahaha. When there’s no money for playin’ around, ya gotta do shit seriously for once, right?

At this rate we won’t be able to afford air conditioning, or worse, we’ll get kicked out of the dorms and be left in the summer heat to sun-dry, y’know!

Kohaku: Are we really as destitute as ya say? I can’t really imagine money bein’ that tight fer us.

We’ve recently gained the backing of our agency, too — ‘cause we did that joint live with 2wink, an’ I contributed to ES as Double Face.

Rinne: Well, we’ve got the money to keep ourselves fed at least, but that’s nowhere close to the kinda ideal lifestyle we’re aimin’ for, right?

Kohaku: What on earth is this “ideal lifestyle” ya speak of? Ain’t that just something ya decided all on yer own?

HiMERU: (— Hmm. Seeing as the others are behaving outrageously as though there was no one else around, it seems like HiMERU needs to be the one to calmly assess the situation.)

(Shiina aside, at least Amagi and Oukawa must be having their own thoughts on the matter.)

(But their ways of thinking are quite flighty, so it’s up to HiMERU to keep his feet on the ground.)

(If we’re just buzzing around aimlessly, the moment our luck runs out we’ll be crashing into a huge tree and be completely annihilated.)

(An organization made up of nothing but eccentric geniuses can’t maintain itself indefinitely in reality.)

(In any case, it appears that all the units assembled at this briefing session are inconspicuous mid-rank or lower idols here at ES.)

(In terms of agencies, most of them seem to be affiliated with StarPro or NewDi.)

(CosPro, which generally has a spirit of self-reliance, and the long-standing RhythLink, which is full of obstinate old geezers, don’t seem to actively try to get involved with the Producer Association and Anzu-san much.)

(The trend here seems to be “ordinary idols” — or, to use a less generous expression, “supporting actors” who haven’t graduated from Yumenosaki, and are therefore not the current focus of ES.)

(Hmm, how very interesting.)

(The way ES is now, only the fairly unique Yumenosaki idols play the leading roles, so “normal idols” haven’t really been in the spotlight.)

(But there must surely be those among them who look enviously upon the shining Yumenosaki stars in the sky, unable to stand out themselves no matter their efforts…)

(Perhaps their negative emotions are going to become nourishment for us, Crazy:B.)

(By making use of them and collecting them like honey for nutrition, you’re going to try and finally reach those shining stars this time — Amagi?)

Niki: (Ohh, HiMERU-kun looks so serious, like he’s lost in thought.)

(But I really don’t think that Rinne-kun thought any of this through all that deeply~, he’s the kinda guy who does things by feeling alone~.)

(Then he just makes up some reasoning for it after the fact to make it all seem consistent~.)

(Rinne-kun’s always been like that. He’s nothing but a fast-talker who’s only good at making excuses.)

(...He’s probably always desperately thinking of ways to declare that whatever he’s doing is correct, because he doesn’t want to be “denied”.)

(But I think that everyone here in Crazy:B won’t ever deny him, even if he doesn’t line up excuse after excuse like that.)

(Of course, we’ll criticize him for his conduct, but his way of life—)

(At the very least, that’s not something I’ll ever completely deny and discard.)

(If I was just gonna throw him away, I wouldn’t have picked him up in the first place. I wish these feelings of mine would finally sink in for him already.)

Entry tags:

Hot Limit - Late Summer Insects 3

Location: ES Hallway

Rinne: — Yup. This time, that Producer’s gonna come in clutch.

In CosPro, which we’re affiliated with, our brainy lil’ snakeyboy is basically the one in charge of producin’ everything.

He’s especially hoggin’ all the producer work for his own unit, Eden.

Valkyrie doesn’t seem like the type to listen to what outsiders tell ‘em, so they refuse to rely on producers in general.

And 2wink is in the middle of a crucial period where they’ve gotta build their own “context” without outside interference.

HiMERU: — You make it sound like it has nothing to do with you.

Rinne: Eh~? I just told ‘em straight up what I was thinkin’, nothin’ more. They’ve gotta figure out for themselves how they’re gonna interpret it, yeah?

So in that sense, it really’s got nothin’ to do with me. They’ve gotta wipe their own asses, y’know.

Idols ain’t artists, but ultimately, they’re the only ones who can choose their paths for ‘emselves.

Just like we have to choose ours.

In practice, this means that even the obstinate Valkyrie permit ‘emselves to be produced — by forgin’ a contact point with the very special leading producer of the Producer Association.

The one called Anzu-chan. Apparently, idols accept her proposals real well, or rather…

While I don’t know the reason and don’t care to know it, the vibe is that those guys basically won’t complain no matter what she asks ‘em to do.

We’ll make use of that vibe. Maybe even us, who have been denied so many times, may be able to become “just” if we gain her as our shield.

HiMERU: Hmm. It appears as though the one in charge of the plans for the aforementioned summer festival job — is none other than this Anzu-san herself.

Rinne: Hell yeah. And that’s exactly why the riffraff is fallin’ over each other tryna get that job so she can produce for ‘em.

Anzu-chan’s gotten real famous for playin’ a leadin’ role in guidin’ Trickstar to victory at the SS when they were still complete no-names, after all.

HiMERU: — SS, you say… And HiMERU is sure you have thoughts on that matter, don’t you, Amagi?

Rinne: Sure do. Well, there are always countless cryin’ losers hidden in the shadows of those shining winners. That’s just how the cookie crumbles, so there’s no point in grumblin’ about it, right?

It’s the same in gambling, and in life as a whole.

...But if Anzu-chan’s been prancin’ around all cool ‘n collected ‘cause she’s not even aware of this at all, I’d wanna sting her just once and give ‘er a piece of my mind.

She doesn’t seem the type, though. But that’s just my hunch.

...In any case, if we can trick Anzu-chan into workin’ with us on this, we’ll be able to gain some benefits that’re pretty hard to come by.

If we were Eden or somethin’, we’d probably get complaints from our lil’ snakeyboy…

He’d prolly even go as far as tryin’ to interfere, so we wouldn’t be able to get anywhere near Anzu-chan. ‘Cause it’d be like layin’ a hand on his cash vault.

But in our case as Crazy:B, we’re basically left unchecked as long as we do what we’ve gotta.

We’re weapons that can only effectively be used durin’ times of war. So as long as we put in the work there, we’re free to do as we like in times of peace.

HiMERU: Hmm. Won’t “Lil’ Snakeyboy” — Or rather, vice president Saegusa, see us working together with Anzu-san as an act of betrayal?

Rinne: Nah, he should actually be aiming to establish common ground with Anzu-chan himself. Otherwise, he’s not gonna have any friends here at ES.

Even more so since Anzu-chan seems to be some kinda goddess to the graduates of Yumenosaki Academy. In other words, she’s the target of worship from the very idols who’re the current focus of ES.

If people thought of him as someone who lacks faith in her, or even worse, who won’t acknowledge her as a goddess at all, or in the worst case, worships an entirely different god altogether — then that’d become an issue.

It’s not like one specific religion has a patent on rejecting heresy and paganism, after all.

So, even if he can’t bring himself to be part of that faith, he at least needs to prove that he more or less respects it.

But at this point, the lil’ snakeyboy doesn’t want Anzu-chan anywhere near his favorite, Eden.

That’s why we’ll establish contact with her in place of the great and mighty Eden.

If the lil’ snakeyboy’s got the slightest bit of sense, he won’t try too hard to hinder us.

Kohaku: I see. So our interests coincide, huh.

Rinne: It’s more like, there are no drawbacks to this for either of us.

Once we’re done workin’ with Anzu-chan, we’ll just do some ass-kissing and tell the vice prez that she’s completely inadequate compared to him… or some shit like that, and we’ll be gucci.

His type isn’t actually used to bein’ played for a fool through excessive praise himself, y’know. Gyahaha ♪

Kohaku: Hmm. Well, in any case, we ain’t got no choice but to use those kinda tricks to get on in the world. Usin’ any means we’ve got, an’ doin’ anything we can.

If we want to keep survivin’ as Crazy:B in the future, that is.

Rinne: You got it. If we wanna keep playin’ around in this gambling den, we’ve gotta use our brains a lil’ before we place our bets.

HiMERU: — Well, seeing as this appears to be a somewhat calculated plan rather than a mere whim of yours, HiMERU doesn’t mind it.

We don’t have the time to keep kicking our heels idly, anyway, so we may as well aim for a homerun to turn the tables once and for all.

Niki: Hrm~m. And “working honestly at it bit by bit” isn’t an option? The great majority of the people in the world actually do that, y’know.

Why’re we the only ones who have to keep on gambling endlessly?

Rinne: Gyahaha. — Because that’s what makes us Crazy:B, duh ♪

Entry tags:

Hot Limit - Late Summer Insects 2

Location: ES Hallway

- A dozen or so minutes later -

Rinne: Alrighty, let’s pull ourselves together and get goin’! Let’s head straight towards our shining future! Gyahahahaha ☆

Niki: Ugh~... Man~... This time I’m really gonna get fired for sure; there wasn’t the slightest bit of a smile in the manager’s eyes back at Cinnamon…

And he was all like, “you’re being a bother to the other customers, so go ahead and settle this matter with your little friends outside the café real quick”...

But you three aren’t my friends~, you’re my enemies who rob me of my source of food~.

Kohaku: Fufu. But wouldn’tcha say that your life would get a lot worse if ya made an enemy out of us, compared ta now where we’re more or less on yer side?

Rinne: Damn straight. Enemies get crushed. To say it in no uncertain terms: we’d harass you on the level of crashin’ a semi-trailer into your workplace every single day of your life.

Niki: T-there’d be no place for me to run!?

Geez, this is the worst~. Seriously, my life was over the very moment I picked up Rinne-kun!

Kohaku: I feel like it doesn’t even matter, but what d’ya mean by “picked up”? Was that moron over there just layin’ on the roadside somewhere, or what?

Niki: Yup. He was sitting in a cardboard box with the words “My Name Is Amagi Rinne” written on it.*

I felt bad for him, so I gave him some pet food and he ended up following me home.

Rinne: Aah? Don’tcha go around sayin’ whatever ya please. It was a lil’ more dramatic than that, yeah?

That cheeky lil’ Niki said some deeply moving stuff like I’d never heard before in my life—

Niki: Ah~, ah~... I can’t remember anything like that, that’s my dark past that I wish I could wipe from my memory.

HiMERU: — While this is certainly a matter of great interest, there’s a more important issue we should be discussing right now.

HiMERU did think this whole thing seemed fishy, and it was. Our new job which Amagi so confidently presented to us — the one about being crowd pullers for a summer festival...

Upon researching it, it turns out this job offer was not extended to us specifically at all.

Kohaku: Huh, that so? But that makes a lotta sense, I also thought it was too refreshing an’ respectable a job ta suit Crazy:B.

Rinne: Ya think so? Actually, I think we’re the right guys for the job of pullin’ crowds ♪

Kohaku: Yeah, in a bad way. As if they’d ever invite us, who committed all these misdeeds until very recently, to a summer festival that the general public will be attendin’.

The local government folks who’re actin’ as the client for this job would need to’ve had their brains fried from the summer heat fer that.

Rinne: Ain’t that ‘cause they’ve seen deep into our hearts and found ‘em to be pure and chaste? Gyahaha ♪

Niki: No pure-hearted person would cause this much trouble for their benefactor who’s done nothing but take care of them all this time.

Rinne: ….. (Raises his fist overhead with a smile)

Niki: ….. (Hides behind Kohaku’s back)

Kohaku: What’re ya doin’. Can’tcha see that HiMERU-han is speakin’ ta us with utmost effort right now? Listen ta him, will ya.

HiMERU: — Oh no, as long as Oukawa is listening that’s already enough for HiMERU. He never had any expectations whatsoever for Amagi and Shiina anyway.

Niki: ….. (Looks relieved)

Rinne: ….. (Smacks the back of Niki’s head as if to say “Don’t look so relieved”)

Niki & Rinne: ….. (Both start squabbling with each other)

HiMERU: — So as HiMERU was saying, it appears as though the job offer to be the crowd puller for that summer festival is open for anyone.

The client previously published an announcement on HoldHands to that effect…

It explained, among other things, that there would be a briefing session held today for all idols who aspire to take on this job.

After this briefing session, the producer in charge of this project will choose which idols to entrust this job to, who will then be officially appointed as the crowd pullers.

In other words, it’s an “open competition”. Oukawa, do you know what that term means?

Kohaku: Hm~, I think I get the gist of it. Reckon it means that the bigwigs from the client side are gonna examine the applyin’ idols an’ then choose who ta entrust this job to, right?

Ain’t that how it usually goes? Makin’ idols come up with a project plan from scratch an’ gather their own staff an’ L$ funds for performances is the weird approach here, if anything.

HiMERU: Indeed. Those are all a producer’s duties, and not the sort of things idols have to do — or at least, that’s how it’s supposed to be.

——————

* For anyone unfamiliar with common Japanese media tropes, finding a kitten abandoned in a cardboard box (often with its name written on it by its former owner) is a common anime and soap opera trope. The most common version of this trope involves a delinquent or someone who otherwise seems like a bad/coldhearted person finding a kitten like that in the rain and feeding it or taking it home, proving to any onlookers (and the audience) that they’re a good person at heart.

Entry tags:

Hot Limit - Late Summer Insects 1

Location: Café “Cinnamon”

- A few minutes later -

HiMERU: — Hmm. Since this is Amagi we are talking about, HiMERU suspected that this job being “totally legitimate” was a cock-and-bull story…

But looking at this live proposal now, it does appear to be an exceedingly respectable job.

Performing at a summer festival that takes place in the vicinity of this “Yumenosaki Academy” as a crowd puller, it says.

Apparently, the likes of Ryuseitai achieved fairly good success when they took on a similar job last year*. Perhaps that’s why they’re asking idols to do it again this year.

The client in question is the local government itself, so the compensation is pretty low, but it appears to be an orthodox job with no hidden downsides.

In fact, it makes HiMERU think that this job may actually not be all that well-suited to Crazy:B.

Kohaku: I know, right. This is such a proper idol job that it makes me feel kinda uneasy.

Niki: Nahaha. I don’t think that’s the right attitude here~. Well, not that I’m one to talk.

Kohaku: Yeah. Actually, if this job request came in ‘cause last year’s track record was great an’ they wanna get the same results this year, it’d make more sense for the client t’hire Ryuseitai again instead of comin’ ta us, right?

Though, if we’re bein’ hired so that we’ll perform as the villians, and they come an’ obliterate us with a “Justice Beam” again like they did back in MDM... I could at least understand why they chose us.

HiMERU: — But it appears as though this project doesn’t have that kind of aim.

Besides, HiMERU doesn’t know Oukawa and everyone else’s stance on this issue, but personally speaking, HiMERU doesn’t wish to fight Ryuseitai or UNDEAD ever again.

We’d just end up getting clowned on as their foil.

Kohaku: Ahaha. But don’tcha think that those fellas don’t wanna get involved with us again either? ‘Cause last time it was just all pain an’ no gain for ‘em, right?

Rinne: Naaah, I think they did gain somethin’. Otherwise there wouldn’t’ve been a point to our red-faced rampage at all.

In fact, if they still haven’t learned their lesson after all we did, they’re beyond all help, and the next time we’ll sting ‘em right in their weak points with our poison stingers and crush ‘em completely.

Doesn’t make a difference whether garbage idols like them live or die, anyhow.

Niki: Such a dirty mouth… Actually I think that from society’s perspective, the ones who deserve being called “garbage” the most among everyone in ES are us~.

We’re like industrial waste that can’t be carelessly disposed of and is out of everyone’s control~.

Rinne: Which is exactly why I’m talkin’ about polishin’ up our image, got it? Oi Niki, are ya listenin’ to me at all, ya li’l shit? Want me to set your head right for ya?

Niki: Gyah~! Why’re you only so harsh with me, Rinne-kun! Stop it, don’t put me in a headlock!

You’re crushing it, you’re crushing my gullet! I need that gullet to eat food and you’re crushing it!!

Kohaku: C’mon now, we’re in public here, don’t raise such a fuss. You’re botherin’ the other customers.

Niki: Look who’s talking…! Look! Who’s! Talking…!

HiMERU: — Hmm. It’d do us well to dispel the impression of us having the role of villains, or rather, outcasts.

Though, it’s unclear whether doing so would be a good or a bad thing for us as Crazy:B.

Kohaku: In other words?

HiMERU: — Well, you see, it feels as though Amagi is contradicting the words he himself said at Beehive the other day.

We’ve become an existence that gives hope to the kind of people who gather at such “establishments of the night” and walk the byroads of human life.

We’re the shining venus in the evening sky after the sun has gone down — the messiahs of evil, so to speak.

Niki: Nahaha, you sound like you’ve got a case of chuunibyou**~. Is Rinne-kun rubbing off on you?

HiMERU: — Amagi, you keep restraining Shiina’s neck, HiMERU will attack his lower body.

Rinne: Alriiight, we’ll take him down with a double-team maneuver ♪

Niki: Gyaaaah!? I’m so sorry, please forgive me! I’m begging you to overlook this little slip of the tongue, ‘cause like, y’know, I only graduated middle school!

I dunno what words mean so sometimes I say stuff that lends itself to misunderstandings, that’s all~!

Rinne: Aah? So idiots can just commit whatever crimes they want? In that case, how about’cha go massacre the folks in this café right now, Niki?

You’re just a middle school grad, so you’ll get off scot-free, right? Alleviate this humidity by lowerin’ the population density in here, will ya?

Kohaku-chan seems to be an expert on that subject, so take him along with ya and it’ll be a sure-fire success!

Kohaku: There’s no way I’ll fail if I’m up against ordinary members of the public, but we don’t come cheap.***

Also, we fundamentally only take requests from clients we can trust. My activities in Double Face are an exception t’that.

If anythin’, what I’m doin’ as Double Face is pretty modest. If we went all out, it’d be a whole ‘nother story.

The other day, a lil’ show of force was necessary, so I dealt with it in a way that the people in the know will understand.

But if I’d handled it fer real, that GFK fella would’ve just disappeared off the face of the earth without anyone noticin’.

Niki: I don’t really get it but that’s scary…! I’ve had it with this dangerous minefield! I’m already satisfied just earning enough living expenses to subsist, doing part-time work at cafés like this!

Kohaku: Ko ko ko ♪ It’s too late fer you ta pull out now, so why don’tcha go all in instead?

Rinne: Right on. Stupid, unsteady guys who can’t accept the battlefield as their reality just get shot first and die.

Niki: Wait, since when did the idol industry become a battlefield~? That probably only applies to our immediate vicinity, right, HiMERU-kun!?

HiMERU: Don’t ask HiMERU.

———————

* Shooting Star Festival Event Story

** Obligatory Chuunibyou TL Note

*** When Kohaku uses “we” without context like this, he usually refers to all Oukawas as a whole. All instances of “we” in these lines refer to them, not to Crazy:B or Double Face.

Entry tags:

Hot Limit - Prologue

Location: Café “Cinnamon”

< In the middle of September, while the heat wave of summer still continues. The noon of a day off, at Café “Cinnamon”, which has become Crazy:B’s usual gathering spot >

Kohaku: It’s so hot… Seems like the Sun just won’t quit. It feels like this summer is gonna go on forever.

HiMERU: — HiMERU thinks so too.

Kohaku: Every once in a while we get a cool day, though.

But when ya let down yer guard ‘cause of that an’ turn off the air conditioning, ya get baked an’ get drenched in sweat before ya know it.

What a cruel climate; this must be the divine punishment dealt to us for raisin’ a fuss at ES this summer.

HiMERU: — HiMERU thinks so too.

Kohaku: Fufu. I reckon for Double Face, the duo that’s licensed to punish, havin’ the Sun as our opponent would put us at a disadvantage anyhow.

We’d have no chance of winnin’, so we should just raise our white flag an’ surrender.

HiMERU: — HiMERU thinks so too.

Kohaku: ...HiMERU-han, are ya even listenin’ to me?

HiMERU: — Yes. Apologies, Oukawa. HiMERU is currently running on energy-saving mode in order to avoid unnecessary stamina expenditure.

Kohaku: Ya really make yerself sound like an android sometimes, huh.

Niki: O~i! It’s almost time for the midday rush. Kohaku-chan, HiMERU-kun, stop hogging seats while ordering nothing but cold glasses of water and go home already!

If you’re not gonna leave, at least order something real! Don’t just come here to cool down!

This is supposed to be my workplace, not Crazy:B’s hangout spot, alright!?

HiMERU: — How rare of you to make such a sound argument, Shiina. But you see, we are still being treated like criminals here at ES — we can’t find a job, so we are struggling economically.

HiMERU doesn’t want to make it sound like we’re sharing a household here, but we must be economical with our expenses.

Kohaku: Yup. Well, Rinne-han managed to get us that gig at Beehive* through his own efforts.

We’ve gained the support of our agency at this point — so it’s not like we’ve become vagabonds.

HiMERU: — Fufu. And we receive this sort of backup from our agency thanks to Oukawa’s great efforts in Double Face, don’t we?

Oukawa is one thing, but to think that even Amagi is contributing to this unit — It feels as though HiMERU is simply mooching off his comrades…

It is extraordinarily deplorable that it’s come to this state of affairs.

Maybe HiMERU should do more things to further Crazy:B’s cause.

Well, HiMERU is still unfamiliar with the unit system, so he doesn’t even know what he can do.

Niki: Ooh, HiMERU-kun’s so serious~♪ Guess you don’t wanna end up as a gigolo, huh? Wish Rinne-kun would take a page from your book!

Kohaku: Does that mean it’s fine to think of that guy as yer gigolo at this point, Niki-han? ‘Cause from where I’m standin’ it totally looks like he’s yer gigolo.

Niki: I guess so. That assessment is accurate, really.

He’s not a cool, venomous bee that buzzes through the world; he’s just a parasite that only camouflages itself as that kinda scary creature.

Kohaku: Ko ko ko ♪ If he’s a parasite, that means he’ll become a target for Double Face, huh?

Reckon it’d be difficult to bring down Rinne-han, though. That guy is way too cunning for no reason.

Niki: Umm, not that I care, but is it okay for you to not be doing any activities as part of this “Double Face” right now, Kohaku-chan?

Isn’t your partner gonna get mad at you if you keep dawdling around in a place like this?

Kohaku: Well, we’re like devils that’re only summoned in times of emergency, so Madara-han, my partner, is probably busy with ‘is own day job as MaM anyway.

HiMERU: — Hmm. Rumors about Double Face have been resounding throughout the industry, so all the people with malicious intent are probably on alert and holding their breath right about now.

Maybe fighting fire with fire does work as an effective repellent for them.

Kohaku: Right, it’d be nice if that was the case.

Even if the peace we caused is only short-lived, I reckon it was worth doin’ somethin’ that doesn’t suit me, like actin’ like some kinda soldier or cop.

HiMERU: Fufu. May this idle time with no disturbances or incidences of any sort continue — although Amagi probably thinks it’d be a shame if it were to.

Kohaku: Who cares about that guy. Rather than havin’ endless wars, it’s much better to have a time of peace, where Double Face doesn’t need to make an appearance.

Still, Madara-han may be able to do whatever he likes as MaM…

But at my day job — Crazy:B — I can’t just act as I please. An’ since we’ve got nothin’ to do as Double Face, I just end up with a load of free time.

HiMERU: — Indeed. HiMERU, whose path back into solo activities has been basically cut off, feels the same way.

— And so, all we can do is grumble over our cups at this café.

Shiina, could you refill HiMERU’s water?

Kohaku: And mine.

Niki: Uu~... Fine, since tap water is free here at ES anyway. Aah, what bliss it is to not have to worry about your energy bills.

Kohaku: You’ll lose that privilege if ya stop bein’ an idol, though.

Niki-han, don’t just spend all yer time workin’ part-time at cafés. Ya should do some idol-like things every once in a while.

Niki: Well~... But that depends on Rinne-kun, doesn’t it?

I don’t know the first thing about idols, so there’s no point in trying to do anything on my own.

HiMERU: — Just what is that Amagi up to anyway? It feels like he hasn’t shown himself here in the past couple days.

Niki: Who knows, isn’t he off playing pachinko or something?

Kohaku: Or maybe he’s dead in a ditch somewhere.

HiMERU: — HiMERU’s theory is that he flew into a drunken rage and has been apprehended.

Rinne: Oioioi, what kinda character do ya guys take me for?

Niki: Uhyah, Rinne-kun!

What a relief, looks like he’s still alive for the time being ♪

Rinne: Aah? Did some kinda deadly incident happen, or what? Also you make it sound like you wanted me to die —

You’re breakin’ my heart, man. This is how ya treat me after all the effort I took to find a job for my beloved pals from Crazy:B?

Poor li’l Amagi Rinne-kun never gets rewarded for anythin’! Now that it’s come to this, I’ve gotta make ya take responsibility for hurtin’ my feelings and have ya marry me, Niki!

Niki: You’ve said that to me countless times since we’ve met, but it’s not possible for two men to get married under the law of this country, alright?

HiMERU: — More importantly, what do you mean, you found a job for us?

Is this going to be like that time at Beehive when you put together a guerrilla live without going through the proper channels at ES and our agency?

Rinne: Nope? Just opposin’ the higher-ups for no reason won’t get us anywhere, so I found us a totally legitimate job this time, yeah?

Now gather around, my beloved Crazy:B — like moths flying into the flame!

Let’s set off some gorgeous fireworks to hype up the end of summer! Gyahahaha ♪

—————

* Beehive is the name of the club in Night Club

Entry tags:

Night Club - A Game For Adults 1 v2

Location: Time Street

- Flashback. Yesterday, in the biggest “nightlife district” near the ES building — Time Street -

Yuuta: Hmhmhmmm ♪ Today’s dinner is gonna be~ Pizza-manjuu*~♪

Plenty of tabasco for a spicy inferno ♪ The ultimate tongue-tingling torture~... Hmhmhmmm ♪

(Mmh~! Lately I've been feeling kinda really content! Not the slightest anxiety or complaint whatsoever! Life's good~♪)

(Just the other day, I was all worried about what was gonna happen during MDM, — Well, rather, to Crazy:B. But from the looks of it I’d say they sorted it out the best they could.)

(Seems like those guys did their best to apologize to everyone, and managed to work things out so that they’ll be able to keep performing with all four of their members.)

(Of course, some people still hold a grudge against them, but the general vibe is “Well, Crazy:B seems apologetic enough, so we may as well forgive them”.)

(In fact, our shrewd Vice President of CosPro — Saegusa-senpai — somehow managed to use this as an opportunity to garner sympathy… That way, it seems like he managed to rack up great achievements for the agency this whole time since summer.)

(Since “we” are affiliated with CosPro, we’ll probably be able to benefit from this, too. Life’s a breeze when you can leech off your "family's" fortune.)

(...But back when CosPro first started scouting us, I actually had my reservations about it.)

(We'd finally found our footing as the “two-in-one twin idols”, and got to a place where we could start reaping the fruits of our labours.)

(That’s why I wasn’t sure if we should risk jumping into an entirely new environment.)

(But Sakuma-senpai and all these other Yumenosaki alumni started getting affiliated with various different agencies, too.)

(And it started feeling like if we didn’t declare our own intentions clearly, some unknown bigwig was going to simply state which place would suit us best and decide on their own just where we belong.)

(If that’s how it was gonna be, I much preferred to choose a place with people who reached out to us and told us they wanted us. By my — by our — own free will.)

(—We aren’t errand-boys to be used at other’s convenience, nor are we mere opening acts meant to hype up crowds.)

(.........)

(—Well, in hindsight, we made the right choice. Vice Prez Saegusa may see us as nothing but chess pieces to be used, but he at least gives us plenty of responsibility.)

(With all the focus on live performances back at Yumenosaki, I’d never have imagined the sheer variety of jobs we’re taking on now. But we've been doing a perfect job at all of them, and our achievements have been piling up.)

(We're in demand and appreciated, commended for our efforts and recognized — We’re being praised.)

(We, who were called “revolting” by our own biological father.)

(.........)

(...Well, I can’t say things like this in front of Aniki or anyone, since it’d just make them worry about me.)

(We’re doing better than ever, and yet, I can't feel truly happy about it… Or maybe it's more like I don’t know how to react.)

(Or rather, it feels empty.)

(We're the two-in-one twin idols, and because "there's two of us", we'll never lose to anyone. We can become "the strongest individual"...)

(That's the essence of 2wink, and it’s how we keep racking up achievements, but…)

(That’s also exactly why… No matter how much praise and recognition "we" get as 2wink, it always feels like it’s about someone else, someone unrelated to me…)

(Sometimes it scares me. It's like I'm living without really feeling alive.)

(This is the worst... And here I was the one who decided to live like this in the first place. There's no way I can detach “myself” from “us”, because this is the best solution for us and the best we can do.)

(Because we’ve finally become the ideal idols we’ve always admired and dreamed of being.)

(—Never again will I allow anyone to call us revolting because it’s impossible to tell us apart.)

(.........)

Hinata: Come ooon~, I said I can’t agree to this kinda thiiing, Rinne-senpaaai~♪

Rinne: It'll be fine, don't ya worry your little head about it! Just pretend I tricked ya into it and play along, it’s gonna be fun for sure ♪ Hey, c'mon already… Yeah?

Yuuta: (...Hmm!? Uh, what? Isn’t that Aniki — and Amagi Rinne from Crazy:B?)

Hinata: Eeeh~? But stiiiill, I have a little brother waiting for me at hooome…

Rinne: Gyahaha! Just let ‘im wait, then! Big bros are way greater than their lil' bros based on just how much sooner they were born!

And anyway, who the hell still eats all three meals with their family even in high school? Just what century didja get your family values from?

We’re livin’ in 21st century Japan, so your own happiness obviously comes before your family’s, right?

Hey “Onii-chan”, what’cha gonna do once you’ve found yourself a wife?

Ya gonna tell her “take my brother too, please~”, or what? Ain't no one out there with a big heart like that!

Got it? So it’s totally fine for ya to find your individual happiness and have a lil' fun on your own, “Onii-chan”!

The Japanese constitution guarantees our right and freedom to do that, yeah? Gyahahaha ☆

Hinata: Eeh~? Well, maybe that’s how it is in the Amagi household, but—

Rinne: That's how it is for all siblings in every household! Alrighty then, it’s decided! Sir~, we’ve got a customer!

Bring out a full course of the best dishes of the house!

Hinata: Wawah? I can’t, I said I can’t! Also, I don’t have any spending money for personal use with me—

Rinne: No worries~, it’s all on me, I’ll treat ya!

It’s an adult’s joy to spend his money on kiddos! Just let yourself be spoiled rotten by your “mature Onii~san” today!

I’m not lettin’ ya go home tonight, Hi~na~ta-kuuun ♪ Gyahahaha ☆

Yuuta: (.........)

Yuuta: (W-w-w-wha— What are you doing!? Stupid Aniki~!)

(That was Aniki just now, wasn’t it!? Aah, good thing I brought my binoculars!)

(I usually carry it with me so I can spy on the audience before a live and adjust our performance to suit the clientele—)

(But to think I’d catch Aniki cheating on me— Wait, I mean, witness him indulging in juvenile delinquency...!)

(They’re a good distance away so I couldn't catch every word they were saying, but there’s no doubt that it was about something clearly dangerous!)

(I can tell! I can tell from the atmosphere and mood, and because that Amagi Rinne guy was talking real loud!)

(Not to mention that I can understand what Aniki wants to tell me even if he doesn’t say it out loud, and even more so recently!)

(It’s not like being twins makes us espers, and we can’t use telepathy! But I can tell! And I got a really, really, really bad feeling about this just now!)

(W-wh-wh-what do I do? What should I do? Just what am I supposed to do at a time like this, father, mother!?)

(A-Alright, for now I’ll just call Sakuma-senpai and— Wait, no! I decided not to depend on my seniors like that anymore, and I don’t want the mess that was Setsubun to repeat itself!)

(Uhmm, uhmmm? In any case, I need to keep an eye on this situation!)

(There’s a chance I just got the wrong idea! I mean, there’s been countless times where I've messed up because of weird misunderstandings like that, right?)

(Hinata-kun is way craftier and more street-smart than me, so if something happens he’ll handle it somehow — But in the off-chance that he can’t, then…!)

(I mean, that guy he’s dealing with is Amagi Rinne of Crazy:B, the man who made all of ES his enemy in his rampage, right!?)

(He even led Sakuma-senpai and Vice Prez Saegusa around by the nose just earlier this summer!)

(And one way or another, Hinata-kun is just a high schooler, the same age as me!)

(Besides, I’m his family. I’m Hinata-kun’s brother — Being worried about him is more than enough reason and justification for me to take action!)

(Alright, let’s go~! First, I’ll infiltrate this establishment Hinata-kun’s been brought into! Grant me guidance and protection, o mother in Heaven...!)

——————

* Pizza-manjuu (ピザ饅) are steamed dumplings with cheese and pizza sauce filling, and they look like this:

** Both quotes here, “two of us” and “the strongest individual” are from Hinata in Repayment Fes.

Entry tags:

Natsume Sakasaki Feature Scout: The Magician's Delivery

Location: Starmony Dormitory Kitchen

Natsume: Good dAY. I’m here to deliver the vegetablES.

Niki: Ah, good work as always~!

Oh, huh? Instead of the veggie boy, you’re the one delivering the goods today, Sakasaki-kun?

Natsume: “Veggie bOY”... AaH, you must be talking about Midori-kun. So you’ve been calling him by that nicknaME, hUH?

Niki: Nope, actually I also call him Takamine-kun. But he always delivers the vegetables, so I’ve kinda ended up thinking of him as the veggie guy.

Natsume: I sEE, so that’s wHY. ActualLY, the plan was for Midori-kun to do this deliveRY, but it seems like something came up for him and so the ball’s in my court nOW.

I brought all the vegetables he wrote down on this memo for mE. Can you check if they match your ordER?

Niki: Sure thing~! Let’s see here… Eggplants, tomatoes, cucumbers…

...Yup, looks like everything’s in order. And the vegetables all look super juicy and ripe for eating~. I’d expect nothing less from a Gardenia member!

Natsume: That’s hardly something worth praising me ovER. All I had to do was select the vegetables that seemed to be in good conditiON.

There were no problems with the deliveRY, so I’ll be taking my leave nOW. See yOU.

Niki: Stop, stop, please wait! It’d be such a waste to not eat such freshly harvested veggies! You’re shaving 3% off your lifetime*, I’m telling you!

Natsume: I don’t mind discarding 3% of iT. You can have those 3% of my lifetiME, Shiina-senpai; I’m bequeathing them to yOU.

Niki: But I mind it! Aren’t we buddies who brainstormed date plans** together?

Even a chance meeting can lead to a lifelong bond! I’ll put all my skill into preparing these veggies, so eat them together with me, pleeaase!

Look, look! The summer veggies are saying, “Come and eat us, we’re sooo fresh!”

Natsume: If you’re being serious right nOW, you must be suffering from some terrible auditory hallucinatioNS.

Guess you’re leaving me no choiCE… Alright thEN; I’ll eat with yOU.

Niki: Hell yeah! Alrighty, I’ll whip something up real quick, so please wait over there ♪

Natsume: YeAH, I wiLL.

(...And here I was planning to take care of a certain somethiNG… WeLL, I suppose I can do that anywheRE.)

<< A few minutes later >>

Niki: Here we go~. Sorry to have kept you waiting, my deluxe “summer veggie ratatouille” is all done and ready to be enjoyed~!

Hmm? What’re you doing with all those cards spread out on the table?

Natsume: These are tarot carDS. I figured I’d get through my fortune-telling requests while waiting for the cooking to be doNE. I’m already finished heRE, just give me a moment to tidy uP.

Niki: Hmm~... Then I’ll put the plates down over there. How long is “a moment”? I, for one, would like to eat as soon as possible.

...Ah, come to think of it! Sakasaki-kun, could you read my fortune for me?

Natsume: WhY?

Niki: No reason, it just popped into my head. See, I’ve actually never had my fortune told before. I’m curious to see what it’s like!

Natsume: Sure thiNG. I just finished reading these fortunes anywAY.

UsualLY, I’d demand some kind of compensation for thIS, but since you cooked for mE, we’ll call it evEN.

Well thEN. Shiina-senpai, what do you ask of the carDS?

Niki: I’d very much like to know if I’ll be able to eat delicious meals!

Natsume: Delicious meaLS? Does the ratatouille that’s standing right in front of our eyes not count for thAT?

BesidES, you already have the skills to create delicious meaLS, so there’s really no need to divinate this kind of thiNG.

Niki: Well, I guess you have a point. But I can’t think of anything else I’d want you to divinate for me…

Still, I don’t wanna let this chance get away from me. Please divinate a meal for me!

Natsume: AlrigHT, alrigHT. I’ll tell you your fortuNE, so would you mind choosing one of the cards I just shufflED?

Niki: Just one? Alright… I’ll take this one!

Natsume: ...HmM, I sEE.

Niki: What does it say? I just hope it’s nothing bad.

Natsume: This card indicates that you will be visited by unforeseEN, good fortuNE.

Niki: Good fortune? How is that related to food…?

Adonis: Shiina-senpai, good timing.

I have acquired some high quality meat. Do you think you could cook something with this?

Niki: Eeeeh! Sakasaki-kun, is this the good fortune you were talking about just now!?

Natsume: Who knoWS? I didn’t expect it to happen so soON, thouGH.

Adonis: What are you talking about? ...Did I bother you two?

Niki: Not at all! In fact, I’m overjoyed! Please wait, I’ll cook something up real quick!

Adonis: Thank you. I look forward to your cooking, Shiina-senpai.

Natsume: Adochan-kun, do you want to know your fortuNE? I’ll make an exception and take a look for yOU...♪

———————————

* If this seems confusing to readers: I agree. He’s saying that you’ll live 3% longer if you eat your veggies.

** Reference to the Date Plan event.

Entry tags:

Night Club - Prologue v2

Location: Café “Cinnamon”

- In the middle of September, at Café “Cinnamon”, which has become Crazy:B’s hang-out spot -

Rinne: Alright, that’s ron! Thirteen orphans! You’re finished, Niki~, that’s what you get for discardin’ your tiles all willy-nilly, idiot! Gyahahaha ☆

Niki: Wh-, hey! Why’re you only focusing your attacks on me, Rinne-kun!? This was supposed to be a match between you and HiMERU-kun!

You only got me involved against my will ‘cause you didn’t have enough people otherwise! I don’t even know the rules!

Kohaku: Same here. Humhum, I guess Mahjong is all ‘bout collectin’ the same kindsa tiles, right? ‘Reckon I’ve got it figured out more or less~, ko ko ko ♪

Rinne: Nah, actually the match is over. Poor Niki’s all bankrupt now, which means that in compliance with Crazy:B’s Mahjong rules, we’re gonna turn him into a baldy!

Niki: Baldy!? What the hell d'you mean by that?

Wh— Eeek! What’re you doing with those hair clippers, Rinne-kun!?

Rinne: Gyahahaha! I’m gonna shave ya! Gonna shave ya aaall bald!

Good for ya, Niki! Now you don't gotta worry about keepin’ ya hair outta your cooking anymore!

Niki: Huh? Actually, I’d appreciate that.

Rinne: That’s what I thought! I've always got my beloved Niki's best interests at heart, y’know!

So quit resistin’! It’s time for you to become the New Sensation ☆ Bald Idol who bursts onto the scene and takes the world by storm! Gyahahaha!

Niki: Eeeeh!? So you’re not gonna lemme quit being an idol even if I’m bald!? Then I've got nothing to gain here! What a waste of hair!

Rinne: Shaddup! If you gained somethin’ from it, it wouldn’t be a punishment game, now would it!

So quit your bitchin’ and moanin’ and lemme shave ya already! No more seducin’ me by flashin’ your nape from beneath your long hair — that shit ends today!

Niki: Nonono, I don’t remember ever seducing you at all, Rinne-kun! You’re just getting turned on all on your own, aren’t you~!?

HiMERU: —As usual, the two of you are displaying a conduct that is beyond inappropriate for idols.

HiMERU is shocked speechless. Could you at least keep it together while you’re out in public?

Niki: Ah, you think so too, right!? First of all, this is my part-time workplace!

People come here to relax~, so I really wish you wouldn’t turn this into Crazy:B’s hang-out spot!

Rinne: Aah? I’m free to sit down for a meal anywhere I like. Also, what has this so-called “public” ever done for us?

Are we just gonna let them treat us like this forever?

They stuck labels like “troublemakers” on us, sayin’ “This world doesn’t need people like you, you’re a nuisance and a bother”...

Do we have to put up with them kickin’ our asses and chasin’ us away whenever and wherever they like?

Niki: U-uu~?

Um, so in other words, the way you hang out in cute cafés like a complete hoodlum playing mahjong is all part of your rebellion against this unjust society...?

That’s all your way of declaring that you refuse to be silently devoured!?

Kohaku: Give it up, Niki-han. That guy’s all hat and no cattle. All he’s good at it takin’ yer complaints and explaining ‘em away with his sophistry.

Here’s what’cha gotta do: outright reject every word he says and show physical resistance.

Rinne: Eh~? How mean~, talk to your lonely ol’ pops, will ya~? Is widdle Kohaku-chwan in his webellious phase~?

Are you already at that age where you don’t wanna take baths with your papa anymore~?*

Kohaku: …….... (He flicks a mahjong tile in Rinne’s direction)

Rinne: Ouch!? He really practices what he preaches; he didn’t listen to a word I said and resorted to physical violence!

If that’s how it’s gonna be, I won’t go easy on you either! I’ll show ya the difference in physical strength between an adult and a kid!

I’ll whoop your ass! And then I’ll make you wear cute kitty ears and call me “My Master ♪”!

Kohaku: I’ll kill ya before you get the chance.

Niki: Please! Stop causing a ruckus at my workplace~!

The manager keeps looking at me with a face that says “Niki-kun, we’re going to have a talk about this later ♪”, y’know~!?

HiMERU: —Good grief.

HiMERU may have accompanied you out of courtesy, but if all you’re going to do is waste his time with your silly games, HiMERU is going to take his leave now.

As HiMERU already told you the other day, he’s currently the focus of a solo project, just as he was in the past.

That means HiMERU doesn’t have a lot of time on hand to allocate to you people.

Rinne: Aah? Didn’t I tell ya I’m not givin’ you my permission for that? It was rejected on authority of Crazy:B’s leader!

And I gave ya my reasons for why I’m not allowin’ any solo gigs, too! You’re a smart one, Merumeru, so you should’ve gotten the message, right?

HiMERU: —HiMERU did get the message, but he didn’t give his assent. Therefore, HiMERU won’t abide by it.

Rinne: Gyahaha! Quarrelin’ about it didn’t lead to an agreement, and that’s why we decided whoever won this mahjong showdown was gonna be in the “right”**, didn’t we?

I thinned out the small fry and emerged victorious, so you gotta abide by the agreement and take my word as law!

Niki: Hey, don’t call the small fry “Niki-kun”!

Kohaku: Ain’t that backwards?

Niki: Nahaha ♪ But small fry are edible, so aren’t they way more useful than I am?

Kohaku: Yer real servile sometimes, Niki-han. Gives me the creeps whenever I can sense the darkness in yer heart.

HiMERU: —HiMERU would never agree to abide by the results of something so unbefitting of idols as a mahjong showdown in the first place.

—Don’t think that everyone will always just move the way you like, Amagi.

Rinne: ………

Yuuta: Dammiiiiiit! Where are youuuuuuu! Resistance is futile, show yourseeeeelf!

Niki: Ooh? What is it this time? How come it’s always so noisy around us?

Kohaku: Don’t ask me.

Ain’t that kid from CosPro, too? From 2wink, or somethin’?

I heard they’re twins, but which one is he? He seems to be havin’ a right blast makin’ a fuss, so I’d wager it’s the cheerful older brother?

HiMERU: —It’s pointless to try and tell them apart based on that. This one is probably the younger one, “Aoi Yuuta”.

Kohaku: Huh, how can ya tell? HiMERU-han, ya know them twins?

HiMERU: You can tell just by looking, since they seem go out of their way to use codes to make it possible to tell them apart—Those two.

Yuuta: Aah, there you are! I did hear that Crazy:B turned this place into their hang-out spot recently—You wouldn’t happen to have a moment to spare for me, since there is something I very much need to speak with you about!?

Kohaku: How polite, considerin’ ya look like yer about to snap. What’s the matter? ‘S not like we did somethin’ to ya guys, did we?

Yuuta: You have no room to speak...! I thought you’d at least avoid setting your sights on someone from the same agency and let down my guard, but that was just naive of me!

You vermin will pierce just anybody with your poison stingers~!

Crazy:B! No, Amagi Rinne! Give me back my Aniki! Give me back “Hinata-kun”…!

———————

* In Japan, many parents take baths together with their children while they are young, but it’s normal for girls starting puberty to be ashamed to do this and refuse to do it, so this is a joke about that specifically.

** Rinne says “right answer” here, and since this story was written by Akira who also wrote Yuuta’s recent idol story and Setsubun where this expression keeps popping up, it’s quite likely that he’s picking up that theme again here. (Aoi family angst will follow soon enough.)