bakemonoremy

Location: Amagi Residence

- A memory, or perhaps within a dream -

Hiiro: — Nii-san, I thought ceaselessly about your question from the other day, but…

Rinne: Ah? What question?

Hiiro: You asked me something like, “When you grow up, what kind of adult do you want to become, Hiiro?”, didn’t you, Nii-san?

Rinne: Ooh, that. Did you come up with a response to it?

Hiiro: I have.

Rinne: Yeah? Then tell me all about it during our evening meal. If I’ve got that to look forward to, then I’ll be able to blast through today’s studies and governing duties easily.

Hiiro: You always seem to have it tough, Nii-san.

Rinne: It’s not tough, it’s routine work.

Hiiro: Ruuchin?

Rinne: It means it’s bothersome work that tires you out when you do it earnestly, but which you can get through without thinking about it.

Hiiro: Hmm.

Still, work is work; it must be tough. No one your age in the whole village works as hard as you do, Nii-san. I wish I could do something to help you.

Rinne: Just knowing you feel that way is enough for me already, Hiiro.

Hiiro: ………

Rinne: …? Is something still the matter?

Hiiro: M-mh. I just think that I’d like to think about that question a little harder, because I want to come up with a reply that will please you, Nii-san.

Because, if I give the wrong answer, I will disappoint you, Nii-san.

I think that the more you look forward to my response, the bigger your disappointment will be. And, I don’t know how to say it — I don’t want that.

Rinne: Oi oi, you think I’ll reject the response you came up with?

Hiiro: Even if you don’t reject it, Nii-san, I think there’s no point to it if it’s an incorrect answer.

It’d mean that I didn’t answer your question properly — that I didn’t fulfill my duty.

Rinne: You’re such a handful.

Hiiro: Yes. And you know, Nii-san… I thought about it lots and lots, but there’s so much I don’t know, so I don’t have any confidence in the conclusion I drew.

When you think about it candidly, my future has already been decided for me. You should be well aware of this too, Nii-san. As the younger brother of the village chief, I will be his advisor. There is no other future for me.

Rinne: ...Yeah. Well no, if I died, you’d become the chief in my place.

Hiiro: ………

Rinne: Hmm? Why are you hugging me? Need attention?

Hiiro: It’s because you said you were going to die, Nii-san.

Rinne: My bad. I’m not going to die, and I’m not going anywhere either, so don’t worry.

...So? Were you going to respond with, “As you are well aware, Nii-san, I’m going to become your advisor” with your head held high?

Hiiro: Yes. But, it feels like you’re not going to accept that answer, Nii-san…

After all, there wouldn’t be a point in asking me that question if you wanted to receive such an obvious answer to it.

Rinne: You’re a real clever one, Hiiro.

Hiiro: I’m not. Compared to you, Nii-san, I am stupid. But that’s also why I want to think about it even harder.

But, no matter how hard I think about it, I just don’t get it.

My future has been decided at birth, so any other future would be wrong.

But that “one and only correct answer” may be what you consider a “wrong answer”, Nii-san.

So I just don’t know anymore.

Rinne: Mhm. To amend my earlier statement, you’re so clever that you circle all the way around to being stupid again.

Hiiro: You really say difficult things sometimes, Nii-san.

Anyway. I want to make you happy, Nii-san, so I want to find the answer you are looking for. In order to do that, I would like to hear an example solution I can use as a reference.

Rinne: An example solution...?

Hiiro: Yes. ...Nii-san, what kind of adult do you want to be when you grow up?

Location: Shiina Residence

- Awakening from the dream. Four years ago, in Shiina Niki’s home -

Rinne: ……!

(...It was just a dream.)

(He gets under my skin just rememberin’ him, that Hiiro. It comes naturally to him. What a frightening little brother, leaving scars on the heart of his Onii-chan he’s oughta respect.)

(...How did I even reply to him back then...?)

(Nah, I think back at that point in time the only thing I could’ve come up with was “the same answer as you, Hiiro”... Talkin’ about my dreams just made me feel embarrassed, so I must’ve just dodged the question somehow.)

(When I met that idol in the city later, I was so excited about it that I ended up tellin’ him about my dream, though. But Hiiro probably didn’t believe that this was my “solution”.)

(No, back then I — I’m sure I ended up playing it off as a joke later to gloss over it.)

(‘Cause when you talk seriously about your dreams and then don’t end up achieving them, it’s just embarrassing. And then he’d be the one disappointed in me, since he respects someone like me so much.)

(Even though Hiiro was born just to assist me… Even though he was going to use up his whole life for that purpose…)

(To him, I am his whole life — So if I were to turn out to be a foolish and useless human…)

(That’d be the worst. That’s why I’ll study and train, so I can become a better version of myself. Or at least, that was the plan.)

(I was going to become a proper human being, so strong and undefeatable that I’d be able to achieve any dream.)

(And once I did, I was going to answer you.)

(...But in the end, I just ran out of time. I couldn’t take it anymore and ran away from home.)

(I did something awful to Hiiro, huh… Maybe he’s still waiting for my “example solution”, even now.)

(Since my little brother was raised to be so damn earnest, he probably won’t give me the “response” I want from him until he hears mine.)

(I’m sorry, Hiiro. Seems like your Onii-chan is still not a great enough human to be able to give you the solution to that question with his head held high.)

Niki: Oh, you’re up, huh?

Rinne: ……?

Niki: What a relief~♪ It would have really sucked if you died at my place, y’know! It would’ve looked almost like I killed you or something!

And if the police questioned me about it, I wouldn’t have had a response for them. This really isn’t the same as picking up some stray dog or cat, after all!

It’s not like I could’ve just told them, “I picked him up and brought him home and then he died”!

Location: Bustling Street (Night)

- Four years ago, in the middle of summer -

Niki: (Ahh~, geez… This is really bad, I think my life’s really at its end this time…)

(I’ve got nothing to eat for tomorrow!)

(I should still have some meat and potatoes for today, and I should still have a bit of rice so I should be able to survive the day — But I have no ingredients for tomorrow!)

(It’s all the summer heat’s fault, the humidity of the summer made all my food go moldy~!)

(I hate summer!)

(Just moving my body eats away at me already, and during the hot season, my mom and dad stay cooped up in a cooler country and don’t visit me~!)

(I should’ve just gone with them in the first place!)

(But I’ve got my school and friends here, and I dunno other countries’ languages and cultures!)

(And at the level I’m at right now, I couldn’t withstand the journey to search for ingredients that my parents are currently undertaking either!)

(If I tagged along with them, my life would just become an endless search for ingredients while traveling all over the place…)

(Well, my mom and dad chose that life for themselves voluntarily.)

(And with my dad’s mental state, it must be hard for him to return to this country, so this lifestyle must be more convenient for him.)

(If your country doesn’t provide for you and only harms you, it’s fine to abandon it.)

(But I want a life that’s different from the one my parents lead— )

(...Well, before that I need to find something to eat for tomorrow, otherwise that’ll be where my life comes to an end anyway.)

(What am I gonna do~, maybe I should search for some edible wildflowers and bugs? If I don’t hurry, my mental faculties are gonna shut down and I won’t be able to tell if something’s okay to eat or not anymore!)

(Uwaaahn, I bet I’m the only one in all of modern Japan who’s this close to starving to death for real!)

(I’m all alone! Even if I tell people about these worries, they can’t ever empathize with them~!)

Rinne: ………

Niki: (...Ngyoh!?)

(Huh? I was looking around for ingredients, but found some weird guy instead! I wonder what’s the matter with him — why’s he sitting down by the wayside like that?)

(Maybe he’s sick? Like, he can’t move because he’s in so much pain or something?)

(W-Well, he looks kinda scary, and this really isn’t the time for me to worry about others…)

(He’s got nothing to do with me, nothing at all. The sooner I get home, the better. Then I’ll read that survival book on how to find edible ingredients in the city.)

(So that I’ll be able to live past tomorrow.)

(Even if I’m all alone. Even if I live the life of a bug, only ever looking for my next meal.)

(.........)

(...Uuuuugh~, geez! I’m such an idiot! Now that I’ve noticed him, I can’t ignore him!)

(Yeah, if I went home like this, it might bother me so much that I wouldn’t even be able to focus on finding ingredients.)

(And who knows, if that guy really is in trouble and I lend him my help, he might buy me some food out of gratitude!)

(This is all out of self-interest, I’m absolutely not wasting my time here!)

E-Excuse me~...?

Rinne: ……..?

…You talking to me? Why? Am I bein’ an eyesore?*

My bad. I’ll go somewhere else right away — gh?

Niki: Uwah, don’t try to move so suddenly! You’re wavering!

Rinne: Shut up… Wait, you’re just some brat, aren’tcha?

Kids should stay the hell away from me. I hate ‘em. ‘Cause they’re all idiots. Now shoo.

Niki: I-I don’t think we’re that far apart in age, actually.

I-I guess I was being a bother, huh? I’m sorry, okay? Nahaha...♪

Rinne: What’s funny.

Niki: Umm, it’s just that smiling is the one common language in the world? As long as you keep smiling, things will work out one way or another, right?

Rinne: Hmph, brats like you sure have it easy. As for me, my stupid fuckin’ upbringing and pride are gettin’ in the way of coming by some food, so I’m real destitute.

Niki: Dess-tee-tude? Is that something like an onion? Or some kind of root vegetable?

Rinne: Exactly, at this point I gotta nibble on tree roots in order to stave off the hunger. Wait, you callin’ me a rat? I’m gonna beat your ass!

Niki: Huh? Eh? Why’re you getting angry? Did I say something weird again?

This happens all the time~, somehow I never mesh with my classmates when we talk. Apparently other people don’t think about food all day long.

Back in grade school it wasn’t a big deal, but once I started middle school I began to wonder if I’m kinda weird that way—

Rinne: ………

Niki: ……? Onii-san, are you okay? D-Did you die?

Please don’t die right in front of my eyes~, I was told that human meat is the one thing I mustn’t ever eat.

Rinne: ...Hmm, so for what it’s worth, you do think of me as human, as a fellow human being.

Niki: Well, isn’t that to be expected? No matter how I look at you, Onii-san, you’re a human just like me.

Rinne: I’m not.

Even now, I’m probably “something other than human”.

Niki: Oh, you’ve got this chuunibyou thing, don’t you? I know about that!

Now and then, I’ve had classmates who’ve been acting like that, too. Even though they’re clearly masses of protein and such, like the rest of us—

Rinne: ………

Niki: H-Huh? Onii-san? Did you just faint? He~ey, seriously, are you okay…!?

-----------------------------

* TL Note: 4 years ago, Rinne did not use his current pronoun of choice, "orecchi", but the more casual and normal "ore".

Location: Meeting Room

- A few minutes later, in the Meeting Room located within ES. Midway into the briefing session -

Rinne: Gyahahaha! Tremble in fear! Run for the exits! The bees are loose…!

Kohaku: Oi, when ya enter a room, ya gotta say “excuse me”, right?

Keep yer lack of manners to a reasonable minimum, will ya? Look, ya scared the other idols in the room so bad they can’t even stand.

HiMERU: — Hmm. HiMERU almost wants to wager that Amagi’s impoliteness was purposely overacted to an extent that it comes off as a performance in itself.

— Mm? What are you doing, Shiina? You’re coming in with us.

Niki: Ah, please wait just a second. I’m texting the store manager from Cinnamon to say that I’m gonna be late to work after all—

Wawawah, don’t pull me!

Kohaku: Fufu. Please excuse the fuss, Anzu-han ♪

Rinne: Whassup, o’ reliable producer sis! Anzu-chan! Just as promised, I came back with my buddies in tow ♪

‘Cause I’m the serious type, always as good as my word! Gyahahahaha ♪

Kohaku: Huh? Did ya already attend this briefing session on yer own earlier?

Rinne: Sure did. Your courageous and admirable Rinne-kun’s been conscientiously makin’ appearances in all kinds of conferences and the like, huntin’ for a project that’ll open the door to our future!

Kohaku: Hmmm. An’ here I thought you were just gamblin’ yer time away at pachinko parlors. Gotta say, I’m seein’ ya in a slightly better light, Rinne-han.

Rinne: Gyahaha. When there’s no money for playin’ around, ya gotta do shit seriously for once, right?

At this rate we won’t be able to afford air conditioning, or worse, we’ll get kicked out of the dorms and be left in the summer heat to sun-dry, y’know!

Kohaku: Are we really as destitute as ya say? I can’t really imagine money bein’ that tight fer us.

We’ve recently gained the backing of our agency, too — ‘cause we did that joint live with 2wink, an’ I contributed to ES as Double Face.

Rinne: Well, we’ve got the money to keep ourselves fed at least, but that’s nowhere close to the kinda ideal lifestyle we’re aimin’ for, right?

Kohaku: What on earth is this “ideal lifestyle” ya speak of? Ain’t that just something ya decided all on yer own?

HiMERU: (— Hmm. Seeing as the others are behaving outrageously as though there was no one else around, it seems like HiMERU needs to be the one to calmly assess the situation.)

(Shiina aside, at least Amagi and Oukawa must be having their own thoughts on the matter.)

(But their ways of thinking are quite flighty, so it’s up to HiMERU to keep his feet on the ground.)

(If we’re just buzzing around aimlessly, the moment our luck runs out we’ll be crashing into a huge tree and be completely annihilated.)

(An organization made up of nothing but eccentric geniuses can’t maintain itself indefinitely in reality.)

(In any case, it appears that all the units assembled at this briefing session are inconspicuous mid-rank or lower idols here at ES.)

(In terms of agencies, most of them seem to be affiliated with StarPro or NewDi.)

(CosPro, which generally has a spirit of self-reliance, and the long-standing RhythLink, which is full of obstinate old geezers, don’t seem to actively try to get involved with the Producer Association and Anzu-san much.)

(The trend here seems to be “ordinary idols” — or, to use a less generous expression, “supporting actors” who haven’t graduated from Yumenosaki, and are therefore not the current focus of ES.)

(Hmm, how very interesting.)

(The way ES is now, only the fairly unique Yumenosaki idols play the leading roles, so “normal idols” haven’t really been in the spotlight.)

(But there must surely be those among them who look enviously upon the shining Yumenosaki stars in the sky, unable to stand out themselves no matter their efforts…)

(Perhaps their negative emotions are going to become nourishment for us, Crazy:B.)

(By making use of them and collecting them like honey for nutrition, you’re going to try and finally reach those shining stars this time — Amagi?)

Niki: (Ohh, HiMERU-kun looks so serious, like he’s lost in thought.)

(But I really don’t think that Rinne-kun thought any of this through all that deeply~, he’s the kinda guy who does things by feeling alone~.)

(Then he just makes up some reasoning for it after the fact to make it all seem consistent~.)

(Rinne-kun’s always been like that. He’s nothing but a fast-talker who’s only good at making excuses.)

(...He’s probably always desperately thinking of ways to declare that whatever he’s doing is correct, because he doesn’t want to be “denied”.)

(But I think that everyone here in Crazy:B won’t ever deny him, even if he doesn’t line up excuse after excuse like that.)

(Of course, we’ll criticize him for his conduct, but his way of life—)

(At the very least, that’s not something I’ll ever completely deny and discard.)

(If I was just gonna throw him away, I wouldn’t have picked him up in the first place. I wish these feelings of mine would finally sink in for him already.)

Location: ES Hallway

Rinne: — Yup. This time, that Producer’s gonna come in clutch.

In CosPro, which we’re affiliated with, our brainy lil’ snakeyboy is basically the one in charge of producin’ everything.

He’s especially hoggin’ all the producer work for his own unit, Eden.

Valkyrie doesn’t seem like the type to listen to what outsiders tell ‘em, so they refuse to rely on producers in general.

And 2wink is in the middle of a crucial period where they’ve gotta build their own “context” without outside interference.

HiMERU: — You make it sound like it has nothing to do with you.

Rinne: Eh~? I just told ‘em straight up what I was thinkin’, nothin’ more. They’ve gotta figure out for themselves how they’re gonna interpret it, yeah?

So in that sense, it really’s got nothin’ to do with me. They’ve gotta wipe their own asses, y’know.

Idols ain’t artists, but ultimately, they’re the only ones who can choose their paths for ‘emselves.

Just like we have to choose ours.

In practice, this means that even the obstinate Valkyrie permit ‘emselves to be produced — by forgin’ a contact point with the very special leading producer of the Producer Association.

The one called Anzu-chan. Apparently, idols accept her proposals real well, or rather…

While I don’t know the reason and don’t care to know it, the vibe is that those guys basically won’t complain no matter what she asks ‘em to do.

We’ll make use of that vibe. Maybe even us, who have been denied so many times, may be able to become “just” if we gain her as our shield.

HiMERU: Hmm. It appears as though the one in charge of the plans for the aforementioned summer festival job — is none other than this Anzu-san herself.

Rinne: Hell yeah. And that’s exactly why the riffraff is fallin’ over each other tryna get that job so she can produce for ‘em.

Anzu-chan’s gotten real famous for playin’ a leadin’ role in guidin’ Trickstar to victory at the SS when they were still complete no-names, after all.

HiMERU: — SS, you say… And HiMERU is sure you have thoughts on that matter, don’t you, Amagi?

Rinne: Sure do. Well, there are always countless cryin’ losers hidden in the shadows of those shining winners. That’s just how the cookie crumbles, so there’s no point in grumblin’ about it, right?

It’s the same in gambling, and in life as a whole.

...But if Anzu-chan’s been prancin’ around all cool ‘n collected ‘cause she’s not even aware of this at all, I’d wanna sting her just once and give ‘er a piece of my mind.

She doesn’t seem the type, though. But that’s just my hunch.

...In any case, if we can trick Anzu-chan into workin’ with us on this, we’ll be able to gain some benefits that’re pretty hard to come by.

If we were Eden or somethin’, we’d probably get complaints from our lil’ snakeyboy…

He’d prolly even go as far as tryin’ to interfere, so we wouldn’t be able to get anywhere near Anzu-chan. ‘Cause it’d be like layin’ a hand on his cash vault.

But in our case as Crazy:B, we’re basically left unchecked as long as we do what we’ve gotta.

We’re weapons that can only effectively be used durin’ times of war. So as long as we put in the work there, we’re free to do as we like in times of peace.

HiMERU: Hmm. Won’t “Lil’ Snakeyboy” — Or rather, vice president Saegusa, see us working together with Anzu-san as an act of betrayal?

Rinne: Nah, he should actually be aiming to establish common ground with Anzu-chan himself. Otherwise, he’s not gonna have any friends here at ES.

Even more so since Anzu-chan seems to be some kinda goddess to the graduates of Yumenosaki Academy. In other words, she’s the target of worship from the very idols who’re the current focus of ES.

If people thought of him as someone who lacks faith in her, or even worse, who won’t acknowledge her as a goddess at all, or in the worst case, worships an entirely different god altogether — then that’d become an issue.

It’s not like one specific religion has a patent on rejecting heresy and paganism, after all.

So, even if he can’t bring himself to be part of that faith, he at least needs to prove that he more or less respects it.

But at this point, the lil’ snakeyboy doesn’t want Anzu-chan anywhere near his favorite, Eden.

That’s why we’ll establish contact with her in place of the great and mighty Eden.

If the lil’ snakeyboy’s got the slightest bit of sense, he won’t try too hard to hinder us.

Kohaku: I see. So our interests coincide, huh.

Rinne: It’s more like, there are no drawbacks to this for either of us.

Once we’re done workin’ with Anzu-chan, we’ll just do some ass-kissing and tell the vice prez that she’s completely inadequate compared to him… or some shit like that, and we’ll be gucci.

His type isn’t actually used to bein’ played for a fool through excessive praise himself, y’know. Gyahaha ♪

Kohaku: Hmm. Well, in any case, we ain’t got no choice but to use those kinda tricks to get on in the world. Usin’ any means we’ve got, an’ doin’ anything we can.

If we want to keep survivin’ as Crazy:B in the future, that is.

Rinne: You got it. If we wanna keep playin’ around in this gambling den, we’ve gotta use our brains a lil’ before we place our bets.

HiMERU: — Well, seeing as this appears to be a somewhat calculated plan rather than a mere whim of yours, HiMERU doesn’t mind it.

We don’t have the time to keep kicking our heels idly, anyway, so we may as well aim for a homerun to turn the tables once and for all.

Niki: Hrm~m. And “working honestly at it bit by bit” isn’t an option? The great majority of the people in the world actually do that, y’know.

Why’re we the only ones who have to keep on gambling endlessly?

Rinne: Gyahaha. — Because that’s what makes us Crazy:B, duh ♪

Location: ES Hallway

- A dozen or so minutes later -

Rinne: Alrighty, let’s pull ourselves together and get goin’! Let’s head straight towards our shining future! Gyahahahaha ☆

Niki: Ugh~... Man~... This time I’m really gonna get fired for sure; there wasn’t the slightest bit of a smile in the manager’s eyes back at Cinnamon…

And he was all like, “you’re being a bother to the other customers, so go ahead and settle this matter with your little friends outside the café real quick”...

But you three aren’t my friends~, you’re my enemies who rob me of my source of food~.

Kohaku: Fufu. But wouldn’tcha say that your life would get a lot worse if ya made an enemy out of us, compared ta now where we’re more or less on yer side?

Rinne: Damn straight. Enemies get crushed. To say it in no uncertain terms: we’d harass you on the level of crashin’ a semi-trailer into your workplace every single day of your life.

Niki: T-there’d be no place for me to run!?

Geez, this is the worst~. Seriously, my life was over the very moment I picked up Rinne-kun!

Kohaku: I feel like it doesn’t even matter, but what d’ya mean by “picked up”? Was that moron over there just layin’ on the roadside somewhere, or what?

Niki: Yup. He was sitting in a cardboard box with the words “My Name Is Amagi Rinne” written on it.*

I felt bad for him, so I gave him some pet food and he ended up following me home.

Rinne: Aah? Don’tcha go around sayin’ whatever ya please. It was a lil’ more dramatic than that, yeah?

That cheeky lil’ Niki said some deeply moving stuff like I’d never heard before in my life—

Niki: Ah~, ah~... I can’t remember anything like that, that’s my dark past that I wish I could wipe from my memory.

HiMERU: — While this is certainly a matter of great interest, there’s a more important issue we should be discussing right now.

HiMERU did think this whole thing seemed fishy, and it was. Our new job which Amagi so confidently presented to us — the one about being crowd pullers for a summer festival...

Upon researching it, it turns out this job offer was not extended to us specifically at all.

Kohaku: Huh, that so? But that makes a lotta sense, I also thought it was too refreshing an’ respectable a job ta suit Crazy:B.

Rinne: Ya think so? Actually, I think we’re the right guys for the job of pullin’ crowds ♪

Kohaku: Yeah, in a bad way. As if they’d ever invite us, who committed all these misdeeds until very recently, to a summer festival that the general public will be attendin’.

The local government folks who’re actin’ as the client for this job would need to’ve had their brains fried from the summer heat fer that.

Rinne: Ain’t that ‘cause they’ve seen deep into our hearts and found ‘em to be pure and chaste? Gyahaha ♪

Niki: No pure-hearted person would cause this much trouble for their benefactor who’s done nothing but take care of them all this time.

Rinne: ….. (Raises his fist overhead with a smile)

Niki: ….. (Hides behind Kohaku’s back)

Kohaku: What’re ya doin’. Can’tcha see that HiMERU-han is speakin’ ta us with utmost effort right now? Listen ta him, will ya.

HiMERU: — Oh no, as long as Oukawa is listening that’s already enough for HiMERU. He never had any expectations whatsoever for Amagi and Shiina anyway.

Niki: ….. (Looks relieved)

Rinne: ….. (Smacks the back of Niki’s head as if to say “Don’t look so relieved”)

Niki & Rinne: ….. (Both start squabbling with each other)

HiMERU: — So as HiMERU was saying, it appears as though the job offer to be the crowd puller for that summer festival is open for anyone.

The client previously published an announcement on HoldHands to that effect…

It explained, among other things, that there would be a briefing session held today for all idols who aspire to take on this job.

After this briefing session, the producer in charge of this project will choose which idols to entrust this job to, who will then be officially appointed as the crowd pullers.

In other words, it’s an “open competition”. Oukawa, do you know what that term means?

Kohaku: Hm~, I think I get the gist of it. Reckon it means that the bigwigs from the client side are gonna examine the applyin’ idols an’ then choose who ta entrust this job to, right?

Ain’t that how it usually goes? Makin’ idols come up with a project plan from scratch an’ gather their own staff an’ L$ funds for performances is the weird approach here, if anything.

HiMERU: Indeed. Those are all a producer’s duties, and not the sort of things idols have to do — or at least, that’s how it’s supposed to be.

——————

* For anyone unfamiliar with common Japanese media tropes, finding a kitten abandoned in a cardboard box (often with its name written on it by its former owner) is a common anime and soap opera trope. The most common version of this trope involves a delinquent or someone who otherwise seems like a bad/coldhearted person finding a kitten like that in the rain and feeding it or taking it home, proving to any onlookers (and the audience) that they’re a good person at heart.

Location: Café “Cinnamon”

- A few minutes later -

HiMERU: — Hmm. Since this is Amagi we are talking about, HiMERU suspected that this job being “totally legitimate” was a cock-and-bull story…

But looking at this live proposal now, it does appear to be an exceedingly respectable job.

Performing at a summer festival that takes place in the vicinity of this “Yumenosaki Academy” as a crowd puller, it says.

Apparently, the likes of Ryuseitai achieved fairly good success when they took on a similar job last year*. Perhaps that’s why they’re asking idols to do it again this year.

The client in question is the local government itself, so the compensation is pretty low, but it appears to be an orthodox job with no hidden downsides.

In fact, it makes HiMERU think that this job may actually not be all that well-suited to Crazy:B.

Kohaku: I know, right. This is such a proper idol job that it makes me feel kinda uneasy.

Niki: Nahaha. I don’t think that’s the right attitude here~. Well, not that I’m one to talk.

Kohaku: Yeah. Actually, if this job request came in ‘cause last year’s track record was great an’ they wanna get the same results this year, it’d make more sense for the client t’hire Ryuseitai again instead of comin’ ta us, right?

Though, if we’re bein’ hired so that we’ll perform as the villians, and they come an’ obliterate us with a “Justice Beam” again like they did back in MDM... I could at least understand why they chose us.

HiMERU: — But it appears as though this project doesn’t have that kind of aim.

Besides, HiMERU doesn’t know Oukawa and everyone else’s stance on this issue, but personally speaking, HiMERU doesn’t wish to fight Ryuseitai or UNDEAD ever again.

We’d just end up getting clowned on as their foil.

Kohaku: Ahaha. But don’tcha think that those fellas don’t wanna get involved with us again either? ‘Cause last time it was just all pain an’ no gain for ‘em, right?

Rinne: Naaah, I think they did gain somethin’. Otherwise there wouldn’t’ve been a point to our red-faced rampage at all.

In fact, if they still haven’t learned their lesson after all we did, they’re beyond all help, and the next time we’ll sting ‘em right in their weak points with our poison stingers and crush ‘em completely.

Doesn’t make a difference whether garbage idols like them live or die, anyhow.

Niki: Such a dirty mouth… Actually I think that from society’s perspective, the ones who deserve being called “garbage” the most among everyone in ES are us~.

We’re like industrial waste that can’t be carelessly disposed of and is out of everyone’s control~.

Rinne: Which is exactly why I’m talkin’ about polishin’ up our image, got it? Oi Niki, are ya listenin’ to me at all, ya li’l shit? Want me to set your head right for ya?

Niki: Gyah~! Why’re you only so harsh with me, Rinne-kun! Stop it, don’t put me in a headlock!

You’re crushing it, you’re crushing my gullet! I need that gullet to eat food and you’re crushing it!!

Kohaku: C’mon now, we’re in public here, don’t raise such a fuss. You’re botherin’ the other customers.

Niki: Look who’s talking…! Look! Who’s! Talking…!

HiMERU: — Hmm. It’d do us well to dispel the impression of us having the role of villains, or rather, outcasts.

Though, it’s unclear whether doing so would be a good or a bad thing for us as Crazy:B.

Kohaku: In other words?

HiMERU: — Well, you see, it feels as though Amagi is contradicting the words he himself said at Beehive the other day.

We’ve become an existence that gives hope to the kind of people who gather at such “establishments of the night” and walk the byroads of human life.

We’re the shining venus in the evening sky after the sun has gone down — the messiahs of evil, so to speak.

Niki: Nahaha, you sound like you’ve got a case of chuunibyou**~. Is Rinne-kun rubbing off on you?

HiMERU: — Amagi, you keep restraining Shiina’s neck, HiMERU will attack his lower body.

Rinne: Alriiight, we’ll take him down with a double-team maneuver ♪

Niki: Gyaaaah!? I’m so sorry, please forgive me! I’m begging you to overlook this little slip of the tongue, ‘cause like, y’know, I only graduated middle school!

I dunno what words mean so sometimes I say stuff that lends itself to misunderstandings, that’s all~!

Rinne: Aah? So idiots can just commit whatever crimes they want? In that case, how about’cha go massacre the folks in this café right now, Niki?

You’re just a middle school grad, so you’ll get off scot-free, right? Alleviate this humidity by lowerin’ the population density in here, will ya?

Kohaku-chan seems to be an expert on that subject, so take him along with ya and it’ll be a sure-fire success!

Kohaku: There’s no way I’ll fail if I’m up against ordinary members of the public, but we don’t come cheap.***

Also, we fundamentally only take requests from clients we can trust. My activities in Double Face are an exception t’that.

If anythin’, what I’m doin’ as Double Face is pretty modest. If we went all out, it’d be a whole ‘nother story.

The other day, a lil’ show of force was necessary, so I dealt with it in a way that the people in the know will understand.

But if I’d handled it fer real, that GFK fella would’ve just disappeared off the face of the earth without anyone noticin’.

Niki: I don’t really get it but that’s scary…! I’ve had it with this dangerous minefield! I’m already satisfied just earning enough living expenses to subsist, doing part-time work at cafés like this!

Kohaku: Ko ko ko ♪ It’s too late fer you ta pull out now, so why don’tcha go all in instead?

Rinne: Right on. Stupid, unsteady guys who can’t accept the battlefield as their reality just get shot first and die.

Niki: Wait, since when did the idol industry become a battlefield~? That probably only applies to our immediate vicinity, right, HiMERU-kun!?

HiMERU: Don’t ask HiMERU.

———————

* Shooting Star Festival Event Story

** Obligatory Chuunibyou TL Note

*** When Kohaku uses “we” without context like this, he usually refers to all Oukawas as a whole. All instances of “we” in these lines refer to them, not to Crazy:B or Double Face.

Location: Café “Cinnamon”

< In the middle of September, while the heat wave of summer still continues. The noon of a day off, at Café “Cinnamon”, which has become Crazy:B’s usual gathering spot >

Kohaku: It’s so hot… Seems like the Sun just won’t quit. It feels like this summer is gonna go on forever.

HiMERU: — HiMERU thinks so too.

Kohaku: Every once in a while we get a cool day, though.

But when ya let down yer guard ‘cause of that an’ turn off the air conditioning, ya get baked an’ get drenched in sweat before ya know it.

What a cruel climate; this must be the divine punishment dealt to us for raisin’ a fuss at ES this summer.

HiMERU: — HiMERU thinks so too.

Kohaku: Fufu. I reckon for Double Face, the duo that’s licensed to punish, havin’ the Sun as our opponent would put us at a disadvantage anyhow.

We’d have no chance of winnin’, so we should just raise our white flag an’ surrender.

HiMERU: — HiMERU thinks so too.

Kohaku: ...HiMERU-han, are ya even listenin’ to me?

HiMERU: — Yes. Apologies, Oukawa. HiMERU is currently running on energy-saving mode in order to avoid unnecessary stamina expenditure.

Kohaku: Ya really make yerself sound like an android sometimes, huh.

Niki: O~i! It’s almost time for the midday rush. Kohaku-chan, HiMERU-kun, stop hogging seats while ordering nothing but cold glasses of water and go home already!

If you’re not gonna leave, at least order something real! Don’t just come here to cool down!

This is supposed to be my workplace, not Crazy:B’s hangout spot, alright!?

HiMERU: — How rare of you to make such a sound argument, Shiina. But you see, we are still being treated like criminals here at ES — we can’t find a job, so we are struggling economically.

HiMERU doesn’t want to make it sound like we’re sharing a household here, but we must be economical with our expenses.

Kohaku: Yup. Well, Rinne-han managed to get us that gig at Beehive* through his own efforts.

We’ve gained the support of our agency at this point — so it’s not like we’ve become vagabonds.

HiMERU: — Fufu. And we receive this sort of backup from our agency thanks to Oukawa’s great efforts in Double Face, don’t we?

Oukawa is one thing, but to think that even Amagi is contributing to this unit — It feels as though HiMERU is simply mooching off his comrades…

It is extraordinarily deplorable that it’s come to this state of affairs.

Maybe HiMERU should do more things to further Crazy:B’s cause.

Well, HiMERU is still unfamiliar with the unit system, so he doesn’t even know what he can do.

Niki: Ooh, HiMERU-kun’s so serious~♪ Guess you don’t wanna end up as a gigolo, huh? Wish Rinne-kun would take a page from your book!

Kohaku: Does that mean it’s fine to think of that guy as yer gigolo at this point, Niki-han? ‘Cause from where I’m standin’ it totally looks like he’s yer gigolo.

Niki: I guess so. That assessment is accurate, really.

He’s not a cool, venomous bee that buzzes through the world; he’s just a parasite that only camouflages itself as that kinda scary creature.

Kohaku: Ko ko ko ♪ If he’s a parasite, that means he’ll become a target for Double Face, huh?

Reckon it’d be difficult to bring down Rinne-han, though. That guy is way too cunning for no reason.

Niki: Umm, not that I care, but is it okay for you to not be doing any activities as part of this “Double Face” right now, Kohaku-chan?

Isn’t your partner gonna get mad at you if you keep dawdling around in a place like this?

Kohaku: Well, we’re like devils that’re only summoned in times of emergency, so Madara-han, my partner, is probably busy with ‘is own day job as MaM anyway.

HiMERU: — Hmm. Rumors about Double Face have been resounding throughout the industry, so all the people with malicious intent are probably on alert and holding their breath right about now.

Maybe fighting fire with fire does work as an effective repellent for them.

Kohaku: Right, it’d be nice if that was the case.

Even if the peace we caused is only short-lived, I reckon it was worth doin’ somethin’ that doesn’t suit me, like actin’ like some kinda soldier or cop.

HiMERU: Fufu. May this idle time with no disturbances or incidences of any sort continue — although Amagi probably thinks it’d be a shame if it were to.

Kohaku: Who cares about that guy. Rather than havin’ endless wars, it’s much better to have a time of peace, where Double Face doesn’t need to make an appearance.

Still, Madara-han may be able to do whatever he likes as MaM…

But at my day job — Crazy:B — I can’t just act as I please. An’ since we’ve got nothin’ to do as Double Face, I just end up with a load of free time.

HiMERU: — Indeed. HiMERU, whose path back into solo activities has been basically cut off, feels the same way.

— And so, all we can do is grumble over our cups at this café.

Shiina, could you refill HiMERU’s water?

Kohaku: And mine.

Niki: Uu~... Fine, since tap water is free here at ES anyway. Aah, what bliss it is to not have to worry about your energy bills.

Kohaku: You’ll lose that privilege if ya stop bein’ an idol, though.

Niki-han, don’t just spend all yer time workin’ part-time at cafés. Ya should do some idol-like things every once in a while.

Niki: Well~... But that depends on Rinne-kun, doesn’t it?

I don’t know the first thing about idols, so there’s no point in trying to do anything on my own.

HiMERU: — Just what is that Amagi up to anyway? It feels like he hasn’t shown himself here in the past couple days.

Niki: Who knows, isn’t he off playing pachinko or something?

Kohaku: Or maybe he’s dead in a ditch somewhere.

HiMERU: — HiMERU’s theory is that he flew into a drunken rage and has been apprehended.

Rinne: Oioioi, what kinda character do ya guys take me for?

Niki: Uhyah, Rinne-kun!

What a relief, looks like he’s still alive for the time being ♪

Rinne: Aah? Did some kinda deadly incident happen, or what? Also you make it sound like you wanted me to die —

You’re breakin’ my heart, man. This is how ya treat me after all the effort I took to find a job for my beloved pals from Crazy:B?

Poor li’l Amagi Rinne-kun never gets rewarded for anythin’! Now that it’s come to this, I’ve gotta make ya take responsibility for hurtin’ my feelings and have ya marry me, Niki!

Niki: You’ve said that to me countless times since we’ve met, but it’s not possible for two men to get married under the law of this country, alright?

HiMERU: — More importantly, what do you mean, you found a job for us?

Is this going to be like that time at Beehive when you put together a guerrilla live without going through the proper channels at ES and our agency?

Rinne: Nope? Just opposin’ the higher-ups for no reason won’t get us anywhere, so I found us a totally legitimate job this time, yeah?

Now gather around, my beloved Crazy:B — like moths flying into the flame!

Let’s set off some gorgeous fireworks to hype up the end of summer! Gyahahaha ♪

—————

* Beehive is the name of the club in Night Club

Location: Time Street

- Flashback. Yesterday, in the biggest “nightlife district” near the ES building — Time Street -

Yuuta: Hmhmhmmm ♪ Today’s dinner is gonna be~ Pizza-manjuu*~♪

Plenty of tabasco for a spicy inferno ♪ The ultimate tongue-tingling torture~... Hmhmhmmm ♪

(Mmh~! Lately I've been feeling kinda really content! Not the slightest anxiety or complaint whatsoever! Life's good~♪)

(Just the other day, I was all worried about what was gonna happen during MDM, — Well, rather, to Crazy:B. But from the looks of it I’d say they sorted it out the best they could.)

(Seems like those guys did their best to apologize to everyone, and managed to work things out so that they’ll be able to keep performing with all four of their members.)

(Of course, some people still hold a grudge against them, but the general vibe is “Well, Crazy:B seems apologetic enough, so we may as well forgive them”.)

(In fact, our shrewd Vice President of CosPro — Saegusa-senpai — somehow managed to use this as an opportunity to garner sympathy… That way, it seems like he managed to rack up great achievements for the agency this whole time since summer.)

(Since “we” are affiliated with CosPro, we’ll probably be able to benefit from this, too. Life’s a breeze when you can leech off your "family's" fortune.)

(...But back when CosPro first started scouting us, I actually had my reservations about it.)

(We'd finally found our footing as the “two-in-one twin idols”, and got to a place where we could start reaping the fruits of our labours.)

(That’s why I wasn’t sure if we should risk jumping into an entirely new environment.)

(But Sakuma-senpai and all these other Yumenosaki alumni started getting affiliated with various different agencies, too.)

(And it started feeling like if we didn’t declare our own intentions clearly, some unknown bigwig was going to simply state which place would suit us best and decide on their own just where we belong.)

(If that’s how it was gonna be, I much preferred to choose a place with people who reached out to us and told us they wanted us. By my — by our — own free will.)

(—We aren’t errand-boys to be used at other’s convenience, nor are we mere opening acts meant to hype up crowds.)

(.........)

(—Well, in hindsight, we made the right choice. Vice Prez Saegusa may see us as nothing but chess pieces to be used, but he at least gives us plenty of responsibility.)

(With all the focus on live performances back at Yumenosaki, I’d never have imagined the sheer variety of jobs we’re taking on now. But we've been doing a perfect job at all of them, and our achievements have been piling up.)

(We're in demand and appreciated, commended for our efforts and recognized — We’re being praised.)

(We, who were called “revolting” by our own biological father.)

(.........)

(...Well, I can’t say things like this in front of Aniki or anyone, since it’d just make them worry about me.)

(We’re doing better than ever, and yet, I can't feel truly happy about it… Or maybe it's more like I don’t know how to react.)

(Or rather, it feels empty.)

(We're the two-in-one twin idols, and because "there's two of us", we'll never lose to anyone. We can become "the strongest individual"...)

(That's the essence of 2wink, and it’s how we keep racking up achievements, but…)

(That’s also exactly why… No matter how much praise and recognition "we" get as 2wink, it always feels like it’s about someone else, someone unrelated to me…)

(Sometimes it scares me. It's like I'm living without really feeling alive.)

(This is the worst... And here I was the one who decided to live like this in the first place. There's no way I can detach “myself” from “us”, because this is the best solution for us and the best we can do.)

(Because we’ve finally become the ideal idols we’ve always admired and dreamed of being.)

(—Never again will I allow anyone to call us revolting because it’s impossible to tell us apart.)

(.........)

Hinata: Come ooon~, I said I can’t agree to this kinda thiiing, Rinne-senpaaai~♪

Rinne: It'll be fine, don't ya worry your little head about it! Just pretend I tricked ya into it and play along, it’s gonna be fun for sure ♪ Hey, c'mon already… Yeah?

Yuuta: (...Hmm!? Uh, what? Isn’t that Aniki — and Amagi Rinne from Crazy:B?)

Hinata: Eeeh~? But stiiiill, I have a little brother waiting for me at hooome…

Rinne: Gyahaha! Just let ‘im wait, then! Big bros are way greater than their lil' bros based on just how much sooner they were born!

And anyway, who the hell still eats all three meals with their family even in high school? Just what century didja get your family values from?

We’re livin’ in 21st century Japan, so your own happiness obviously comes before your family’s, right?

Hey “Onii-chan”, what’cha gonna do once you’ve found yourself a wife?

Ya gonna tell her “take my brother too, please~”, or what? Ain't no one out there with a big heart like that!

Got it? So it’s totally fine for ya to find your individual happiness and have a lil' fun on your own, “Onii-chan”!

The Japanese constitution guarantees our right and freedom to do that, yeah? Gyahahaha ☆

Hinata: Eeh~? Well, maybe that’s how it is in the Amagi household, but—

Rinne: That's how it is for all siblings in every household! Alrighty then, it’s decided! Sir~, we’ve got a customer!

Bring out a full course of the best dishes of the house!

Hinata: Wawah? I can’t, I said I can’t! Also, I don’t have any spending money for personal use with me—

Rinne: No worries~, it’s all on me, I’ll treat ya!

It’s an adult’s joy to spend his money on kiddos! Just let yourself be spoiled rotten by your “mature Onii~san” today!

I’m not lettin’ ya go home tonight, Hi~na~ta-kuuun ♪ Gyahahaha ☆

Yuuta: (.........)

Yuuta: (W-w-w-wha— What are you doing!? Stupid Aniki~!)

(That was Aniki just now, wasn’t it!? Aah, good thing I brought my binoculars!)

(I usually carry it with me so I can spy on the audience before a live and adjust our performance to suit the clientele—)

(But to think I’d catch Aniki cheating on me— Wait, I mean, witness him indulging in juvenile delinquency...!)

(They’re a good distance away so I couldn't catch every word they were saying, but there’s no doubt that it was about something clearly dangerous!)

(I can tell! I can tell from the atmosphere and mood, and because that Amagi Rinne guy was talking real loud!)

(Not to mention that I can understand what Aniki wants to tell me even if he doesn’t say it out loud, and even more so recently!)

(It’s not like being twins makes us espers, and we can’t use telepathy! But I can tell! And I got a really, really, really bad feeling about this just now!)

(W-wh-wh-what do I do? What should I do? Just what am I supposed to do at a time like this, father, mother!?)

(A-Alright, for now I’ll just call Sakuma-senpai and— Wait, no! I decided not to depend on my seniors like that anymore, and I don’t want the mess that was Setsubun to repeat itself!)

(Uhmm, uhmmm? In any case, I need to keep an eye on this situation!)

(There’s a chance I just got the wrong idea! I mean, there’s been countless times where I've messed up because of weird misunderstandings like that, right?)

(Hinata-kun is way craftier and more street-smart than me, so if something happens he’ll handle it somehow — But in the off-chance that he can’t, then…!)

(I mean, that guy he’s dealing with is Amagi Rinne of Crazy:B, the man who made all of ES his enemy in his rampage, right!?)

(He even led Sakuma-senpai and Vice Prez Saegusa around by the nose just earlier this summer!)

(And one way or another, Hinata-kun is just a high schooler, the same age as me!)

(Besides, I’m his family. I’m Hinata-kun’s brother — Being worried about him is more than enough reason and justification for me to take action!)

(Alright, let’s go~! First, I’ll infiltrate this establishment Hinata-kun’s been brought into! Grant me guidance and protection, o mother in Heaven...!)

——————

* Pizza-manjuu (ピザ饅) are steamed dumplings with cheese and pizza sauce filling, and they look like this:

** Both quotes here, “two of us” and “the strongest individual” are from Hinata in Repayment Fes.

Location: Starmony Dormitory Kitchen

Natsume: Good dAY. I’m here to deliver the vegetablES.

Niki: Ah, good work as always~!

Oh, huh? Instead of the veggie boy, you’re the one delivering the goods today, Sakasaki-kun?

Natsume: “Veggie bOY”... AaH, you must be talking about Midori-kun. So you’ve been calling him by that nicknaME, hUH?

Niki: Nope, actually I also call him Takamine-kun. But he always delivers the vegetables, so I’ve kinda ended up thinking of him as the veggie guy.

Natsume: I sEE, so that’s wHY. ActualLY, the plan was for Midori-kun to do this deliveRY, but it seems like something came up for him and so the ball’s in my court nOW.

I brought all the vegetables he wrote down on this memo for mE. Can you check if they match your ordER?

Niki: Sure thing~! Let’s see here… Eggplants, tomatoes, cucumbers…

...Yup, looks like everything’s in order. And the vegetables all look super juicy and ripe for eating~. I’d expect nothing less from a Gardenia member!

Natsume: That’s hardly something worth praising me ovER. All I had to do was select the vegetables that seemed to be in good conditiON.

There were no problems with the deliveRY, so I’ll be taking my leave nOW. See yOU.

Niki: Stop, stop, please wait! It’d be such a waste to not eat such freshly harvested veggies! You’re shaving 3% off your lifetime*, I’m telling you!

Natsume: I don’t mind discarding 3% of iT. You can have those 3% of my lifetiME, Shiina-senpai; I’m bequeathing them to yOU.

Niki: But I mind it! Aren’t we buddies who brainstormed date plans** together?

Even a chance meeting can lead to a lifelong bond! I’ll put all my skill into preparing these veggies, so eat them together with me, pleeaase!

Look, look! The summer veggies are saying, “Come and eat us, we’re sooo fresh!”

Natsume: If you’re being serious right nOW, you must be suffering from some terrible auditory hallucinatioNS.

Guess you’re leaving me no choiCE… Alright thEN; I’ll eat with yOU.

Niki: Hell yeah! Alrighty, I’ll whip something up real quick, so please wait over there ♪

Natsume: YeAH, I wiLL.

(...And here I was planning to take care of a certain somethiNG… WeLL, I suppose I can do that anywheRE.)

<< A few minutes later >>

Niki: Here we go~. Sorry to have kept you waiting, my deluxe “summer veggie ratatouille” is all done and ready to be enjoyed~!

Hmm? What’re you doing with all those cards spread out on the table?

Natsume: These are tarot carDS. I figured I’d get through my fortune-telling requests while waiting for the cooking to be doNE. I’m already finished heRE, just give me a moment to tidy uP.

Niki: Hmm~... Then I’ll put the plates down over there. How long is “a moment”? I, for one, would like to eat as soon as possible.

...Ah, come to think of it! Sakasaki-kun, could you read my fortune for me?

Natsume: WhY?

Niki: No reason, it just popped into my head. See, I’ve actually never had my fortune told before. I’m curious to see what it’s like!

Natsume: Sure thiNG. I just finished reading these fortunes anywAY.

UsualLY, I’d demand some kind of compensation for thIS, but since you cooked for mE, we’ll call it evEN.

Well thEN. Shiina-senpai, what do you ask of the carDS?

Niki: I’d very much like to know if I’ll be able to eat delicious meals!

Natsume: Delicious meaLS? Does the ratatouille that’s standing right in front of our eyes not count for thAT?

BesidES, you already have the skills to create delicious meaLS, so there’s really no need to divinate this kind of thiNG.

Niki: Well, I guess you have a point. But I can’t think of anything else I’d want you to divinate for me…

Still, I don’t wanna let this chance get away from me. Please divinate a meal for me!

Natsume: AlrigHT, alrigHT. I’ll tell you your fortuNE, so would you mind choosing one of the cards I just shufflED?

Niki: Just one? Alright… I’ll take this one!

Natsume: ...HmM, I sEE.

Niki: What does it say? I just hope it’s nothing bad.

Natsume: This card indicates that you will be visited by unforeseEN, good fortuNE.

Niki: Good fortune? How is that related to food…?

Adonis: Shiina-senpai, good timing.

I have acquired some high quality meat. Do you think you could cook something with this?

Niki: Eeeeh! Sakasaki-kun, is this the good fortune you were talking about just now!?

Natsume: Who knoWS? I didn’t expect it to happen so soON, thouGH.

Adonis: What are you talking about? ...Did I bother you two?

Niki: Not at all! In fact, I’m overjoyed! Please wait, I’ll cook something up real quick!

Adonis: Thank you. I look forward to your cooking, Shiina-senpai.

Natsume: Adochan-kun, do you want to know your fortuNE? I’ll make an exception and take a look for yOU...♪

———————————

* If this seems confusing to readers: I agree. He’s saying that you’ll live 3% longer if you eat your veggies.

** Reference to the Date Plan event.

Location: Café “Cinnamon”

- In the middle of September, at Café “Cinnamon”, which has become Crazy:B’s hang-out spot -

Rinne: Alright, that’s ron! Thirteen orphans! You’re finished, Niki~, that’s what you get for discardin’ your tiles all willy-nilly, idiot! Gyahahaha ☆

Niki: Wh-, hey! Why’re you only focusing your attacks on me, Rinne-kun!? This was supposed to be a match between you and HiMERU-kun!

You only got me involved against my will ‘cause you didn’t have enough people otherwise! I don’t even know the rules!

Kohaku: Same here. Humhum, I guess Mahjong is all ‘bout collectin’ the same kindsa tiles, right? ‘Reckon I’ve got it figured out more or less~, ko ko ko ♪

Rinne: Nah, actually the match is over. Poor Niki’s all bankrupt now, which means that in compliance with Crazy:B’s Mahjong rules, we’re gonna turn him into a baldy!

Niki: Baldy!? What the hell d'you mean by that?

Wh— Eeek! What’re you doing with those hair clippers, Rinne-kun!?

Rinne: Gyahahaha! I’m gonna shave ya! Gonna shave ya aaall bald!

Good for ya, Niki! Now you don't gotta worry about keepin’ ya hair outta your cooking anymore!

Niki: Huh? Actually, I’d appreciate that.

Rinne: That’s what I thought! I've always got my beloved Niki's best interests at heart, y’know!

So quit resistin’! It’s time for you to become the New Sensation ☆ Bald Idol who bursts onto the scene and takes the world by storm! Gyahahaha!

Niki: Eeeeh!? So you’re not gonna lemme quit being an idol even if I’m bald!? Then I've got nothing to gain here! What a waste of hair!

Rinne: Shaddup! If you gained somethin’ from it, it wouldn’t be a punishment game, now would it!

So quit your bitchin’ and moanin’ and lemme shave ya already! No more seducin’ me by flashin’ your nape from beneath your long hair — that shit ends today!

Niki: Nonono, I don’t remember ever seducing you at all, Rinne-kun! You’re just getting turned on all on your own, aren’t you~!?

HiMERU: —As usual, the two of you are displaying a conduct that is beyond inappropriate for idols.

HiMERU is shocked speechless. Could you at least keep it together while you’re out in public?

Niki: Ah, you think so too, right!? First of all, this is my part-time workplace!

People come here to relax~, so I really wish you wouldn’t turn this into Crazy:B’s hang-out spot!

Rinne: Aah? I’m free to sit down for a meal anywhere I like. Also, what has this so-called “public” ever done for us?

Are we just gonna let them treat us like this forever?

They stuck labels like “troublemakers” on us, sayin’ “This world doesn’t need people like you, you’re a nuisance and a bother”...

Do we have to put up with them kickin’ our asses and chasin’ us away whenever and wherever they like?

Niki: U-uu~?

Um, so in other words, the way you hang out in cute cafés like a complete hoodlum playing mahjong is all part of your rebellion against this unjust society...?

That’s all your way of declaring that you refuse to be silently devoured!?

Kohaku: Give it up, Niki-han. That guy’s all hat and no cattle. All he’s good at it takin’ yer complaints and explaining ‘em away with his sophistry.

Here’s what’cha gotta do: outright reject every word he says and show physical resistance.

Rinne: Eh~? How mean~, talk to your lonely ol’ pops, will ya~? Is widdle Kohaku-chwan in his webellious phase~?

Are you already at that age where you don’t wanna take baths with your papa anymore~?*

Kohaku: …….... (He flicks a mahjong tile in Rinne’s direction)

Rinne: Ouch!? He really practices what he preaches; he didn’t listen to a word I said and resorted to physical violence!

If that’s how it’s gonna be, I won’t go easy on you either! I’ll show ya the difference in physical strength between an adult and a kid!

I’ll whoop your ass! And then I’ll make you wear cute kitty ears and call me “My Master ♪”!

Kohaku: I’ll kill ya before you get the chance.

Niki: Please! Stop causing a ruckus at my workplace~!

The manager keeps looking at me with a face that says “Niki-kun, we’re going to have a talk about this later ♪”, y’know~!?

HiMERU: —Good grief.

HiMERU may have accompanied you out of courtesy, but if all you’re going to do is waste his time with your silly games, HiMERU is going to take his leave now.

As HiMERU already told you the other day, he’s currently the focus of a solo project, just as he was in the past.

That means HiMERU doesn’t have a lot of time on hand to allocate to you people.

Rinne: Aah? Didn’t I tell ya I’m not givin’ you my permission for that? It was rejected on authority of Crazy:B’s leader!

And I gave ya my reasons for why I’m not allowin’ any solo gigs, too! You’re a smart one, Merumeru, so you should’ve gotten the message, right?

HiMERU: —HiMERU did get the message, but he didn’t give his assent. Therefore, HiMERU won’t abide by it.

Rinne: Gyahaha! Quarrelin’ about it didn’t lead to an agreement, and that’s why we decided whoever won this mahjong showdown was gonna be in the “right”**, didn’t we?

I thinned out the small fry and emerged victorious, so you gotta abide by the agreement and take my word as law!

Niki: Hey, don’t call the small fry “Niki-kun”!

Kohaku: Ain’t that backwards?

Niki: Nahaha ♪ But small fry are edible, so aren’t they way more useful than I am?

Kohaku: Yer real servile sometimes, Niki-han. Gives me the creeps whenever I can sense the darkness in yer heart.

HiMERU: —HiMERU would never agree to abide by the results of something so unbefitting of idols as a mahjong showdown in the first place.

—Don’t think that everyone will always just move the way you like, Amagi.

Rinne: ………

Yuuta: Dammiiiiiit! Where are youuuuuuu! Resistance is futile, show yourseeeeelf!

Niki: Ooh? What is it this time? How come it’s always so noisy around us?

Kohaku: Don’t ask me.

Ain’t that kid from CosPro, too? From 2wink, or somethin’?

I heard they’re twins, but which one is he? He seems to be havin’ a right blast makin’ a fuss, so I’d wager it’s the cheerful older brother?

HiMERU: —It’s pointless to try and tell them apart based on that. This one is probably the younger one, “Aoi Yuuta”.

Kohaku: Huh, how can ya tell? HiMERU-han, ya know them twins?

HiMERU: You can tell just by looking, since they seem go out of their way to use codes to make it possible to tell them apart—Those two.

Yuuta: Aah, there you are! I did hear that Crazy:B turned this place into their hang-out spot recently—You wouldn’t happen to have a moment to spare for me, since there is something I very much need to speak with you about!?

Kohaku: How polite, considerin’ ya look like yer about to snap. What’s the matter? ‘S not like we did somethin’ to ya guys, did we?

Yuuta: You have no room to speak...! I thought you’d at least avoid setting your sights on someone from the same agency and let down my guard, but that was just naive of me!

You vermin will pierce just anybody with your poison stingers~!

Crazy:B! No, Amagi Rinne! Give me back my Aniki! Give me back “Hinata-kun”…!

———————

* In Japan, many parents take baths together with their children while they are young, but it’s normal for girls starting puberty to be ashamed to do this and refuse to do it, so this is a joke about that specifically.

** Rinne says “right answer” here, and since this story was written by Akira who also wrote Yuuta’s recent idol story and Setsubun where this expression keeps popping up, it’s quite likely that he’s picking up that theme again here. (Aoi family angst will follow soon enough.)

Location: CosPro Office

HiMERU: Oh? You’re already taking your leave, Anzu-san?

Ah, so you’ve seen enough of the material that you’re brimming with ideas, huh. Fufu, HiMERU is looking forward to them.

Leave it to HiMERU to tidy up around here. All the DVDs over here just need to be returned to vice president Saegusa, right?

Yes, HiMERU will give him your best regards. Well then, goodbye —

(...A personalized outfit for HiMERU, huh?)

(When observing the trends among the other idols’ personalized outfits so far, it seems that they’re meant to express their individual characteristics.)

(“HiMERU”’s individual characteristics…)

(Even though “I” know more about him than anyone else does, the hopes that “I” might express for an outfit aren’t necessarily the correct choice for HiMERU.)

(That’s why I mustn’t give my own opinion on this. It’s just fine if the outfit turns out bland.)

(If the outfit is something that the producer prepared “the way she pleases”, then HiMERU will be able to keep being HiMERU.)

Location: Café “Cinnamon”

- A few days later -

Rinne: ...So yeah, I reached out to the guys from ASOBI Club and they brought their friends and buddies over. The Werewolf game was a total party!

The one who shone the brightest was Ninja-kun for sure. He came up with a house rule: the “ninja” role! But that guy’s really no good at bein' secretive!

And like, my fellow werewolf Hina distracted everyone so well that I could just keep on gobblin’ up the villagers! It was a real hilarious tragedy, kyahaha ☆

If only you’d stayed behind, Merumeru~. I bet you’d have enjoyed the bloodbath together with me!

HiMERU: — Not particularly, no. HiMERU had to take care of some HiMERU business, you see… Oh?

Good evening, Anzu-san. Are you also having a belated dinner?

So you’ve finished the rough draft for HiMERU’s personalized outfit, huh.

Oh, there’s no need to review it. Since it was Anzu-san who came up with the design, HiMERU has full confidence in it.

...So you’ve made several drafts and want HiMERU to at least choose one of them? However, HiMERU is fine with any of them…

Rinne: Merumeru, what’s with the attitude? She’s goin’ through all that trouble of makin’ an outfit for ya. Poor Onee~san, gettin’ dumped like that~♪

How ‘bout instead of the ice cold Merumeru, li’l old me gets to wear that outfit instead?

...I can’t, ‘cause this outfit is for Merumeru’s exclusive use?

How cold of you. Since you’re already foregoin’ the leader and makin’ Merumeru’s outfit right now, won’tcha make my outfit next? Come on, yeah?

HiMERU: Setting aside Amagi’s teasing attitude… Indeed, HiMERU’s earlier stance was equivalent to impoliteness.

You did say you wanted to consult HiMERU. Very well, HiMERU will hear you out in detail. Amagi?

Rinne: Yeah yeah, you want me to step outside, don’tcha? Oh well.

I already ate my fill anyway. Guess I’ll go hit up the pachinko parlors or something. Smell ya later!

HiMERU: Now, allow HiMERU to take a look at your design drafts, if you please.

...Just as expected, they all appear appropriate for HiMERU.

You worked out some ideas based on the old footage you borrowed from the vice president? Then it’s no wonder that they all hit the mark.

HiMERU: But on the other hand, this makes it difficult for HiMERU to choose just one of them. May HiMERU ask Anzu-san to choose one for him, after— …?

(This one outfit seems familiar somehow…)

Aah, HiMERU apologizes for going quiet all of a sudden. About this design...

Hmm, it’s just a sketch, and not a design draft?

You copied an outfit design that you saw hanging on a dressing room wall on some bonus footage—?

(...Aah, so that’s why HiMERU remembers having seen it before.)

(This design was a contender for the outfit “HiMERU” would wear during his next live.)

(But this “next” live never came, and so it was scrapped…)

— Since you saw the bonus footage on that DVD, it must mean that you also viewed HiMERU’s last performance before he went on hiatus.

What did HiMERU look like, through your eyes?

...Fufu. Please excuse HiMERU for laughing. You kept praising “HiMERU” in rapid succession, so…

Yes, you’re right. The person you were telling me about just now was unmistakably “HiMERU”.

There are many ideas contained in this sketchbook, so while he feels bad about this… HiMERU is going to borrow it for a moment—

(...There were many other outfits “HiMERU” never got to wear. And surely, “HiMERU” can no longer return to those days.)

(But, at the very least, I want to take a step towards expressing the kind of style that “HiMERU” wanted to wear.)

(I want to represent "HiMERU”s original vision…)

— Please allow HiMERU to request that his outfit will be based on this design. Of course, you may make some revisions to it. Fashions trends have changed since this design was made, after all.

...You’ll try to stay as faithful as possible to the original design? Thank you very much for the respect you show HiMERU.

You seem considerably pleased, Anzu-san. Umm, so it’s because you’re happy that you got to listen to HiMERU’s wishes…?

(Ah, right… “I” also have things I want — things I wish for.)

(Like a ghost that yearns for something they can never again possess… It’s because of this tenacious attachment that it can remain suspended in its place.)

Niki: He~y, HiMERU-ku~n? It’s the last call, do you wanna order something?

...Oh huh, Nee-san’s here too. I didn’t notice ‘cause I’ve been so cooped up in the kitchen all this time, sorry.

Would you like to eat something too, Nee-san? Ah, you’re leaving since you’re done talking about the personalized outfit?

Then I look forward to welcoming you back here next time~.

A personalized outfit, huh? HiMERU-kun, are you next in line for that?

I look forward to seeing what kinda design it’s gonna be ♪

HiMERU: Yes… HiMERU himself looks forward to that as well.

Location: Café “Cinnamon”

HiMERU: — “Werewolf”?

Rinne: Yeah, dude. It’s a game where, through talkin’ to each other, ya gotta uncover the lyin’ li’l werewolf who’s pretendin’ to be your friend.

The other day, some guys were playin’ it in the common area of the Starmony Dorm and I had ‘em let me join in. It was a blast.

And while we’re all here, let’s make it a competition! The loser’s gotta treat us to lunch!

If I’m the werewolf, I’m gonna eat you up first and foremost, Niki. Get ready for your just deserts, kyahaha ☆

Niki: Don’t make scary declarations like that! I like to eat, but I’d rather not be eaten.

Kohaku: Werewolf, huh? I’ve played that online before. That game needs 8 or more players, so we can’t do it by ourselves, right?

Rinne: No worries, I can just hit up the guys from ASOBI Club on HoldHands — then we’ll easily get enough peeps in here.

Niki: “Easily”, huh. Not everyone’s got the kinda free time you have, Rinne-kun.

Rinne: Aaahn? Hell are you talkin’ about, I don’t have that much time to spare either. I’ve only got this one life, and livin’ it to the fullest doin’ all kinds of hilarious shit keeps me real busy!

HiMERU: — That’s called “having free time”.

Kohaku: Huh… HiMERU-han, yer leavin’ already?

HiMERU: Yes. It seems like the business talk is over, so there’s no point in staying any longer than this.

Kohaku: Aight. But can ya answer me one question before ya go?

HiMERU: — A question? As long as it’s something HiMERU can answer, do go ahead and ask.

Kohaku: Thank ya kindly. I’m not sure how t’broach this topic, so I’ll just ask ya point-blank: Did ya screw somethin’ up, HiMERU-han?

HiMERU: Screw up? Did HiMERU do something like that?

Kohaku: I mean, I don’t think you’ve been involved in any misdeeds.

Ya see, yesterday Anzu-han asked me to tell her everythin’ I know about ya, HiMERU-han.

Niki: Ah! Oh right, it didn’t happen yesterday, but she asked me about HiMERU-kun, too.

I was hungry back then, so I turned her down with a, “Yeah, some other time.” Still, I wonder what that was all about?

HiMERU: She asked both Oukawa and Shiina? Then, that must mean…

Rinne: ‘Course, she reached out to li’l old me as well. When I said that I’d spill the beans if she beat me in a gamble, she turned tail, though.

So spit it out, Merumeru. What’d you screw up?

HiMERU: ………

Rinne: If ya don’t feel like tellin’ us what’s up, how about we reveal it through a game of Werewolf? Kyahaha ☆

HiMERU: — There’s nothing to reveal in the first place. HiMERU doesn’t have the slightest idea what this could be about.

(Actually, the only thing that comes to mind is “my” secret. Perhaps she suspects something, and that’s why she’s sounding out the people around HiMERU...?)

HiMERU will go meet with Anzu-san in person and ask what it is that she wants to know. Well then, see you.

Location: CosPro Office

HiMERU: (The person standing with their back turned towards HiMERU… As expected, it’s Anzu-san. Finally, HiMERU found her.)

(Seeing as she’s at the CosPro office, perhaps she’s still investigating HiMERU.)

(In that case, HiMERU will return the favor. Time to probe your true intentions…)

— Good day, Anzu-san. Did you come to CosPro for work today?

You’re staring at that computer screen so eagerly… Oh my.

That’s... old footage of a HiMERU performance, isn’t it? How nostalgic.

However, HiMERU believes that the DVDs that contain this footage are no longer being distributed. How did you come by them?

...Hmm, so you borrowed them from vice president Saegusa. He certainly seems like the kind of person who would have this data in his possession.

(So they're not recordings of Crazy:B, but HiMERU’s solo lives? In that case, she really must be investigating HiMERU.)

(But to what end…?)

— Fufu. Even though you’re just looking at old footage, it still feels somewhat embarrassing to be stared at so fervently.

Why are you watching something like that after all this time?

A personalized outfit? Yes, HiMERU knows of them. So you plan to create a new outfit for HiMERU soon.

Interesting. Creating the vice president’s personalized outfit was your cue to start investigating other idols in advance from now on, hm?

(Speaking of which, the vice president’s personalized outfit struck HiMERU as very befitting of him. Well, not that HiMERU knows him all that well...)

(In any case, it appears as though she wasn’t on the hunt for the secret after all.)

Could it be that you’ve been asking around about HiMERU in order to plan this personalized outfit, Anzu-san?

So that’s what it was about. You see, just earlier, Amagi and the others told HiMERU that you were inquiring about him.

Hmm… So you intended to ask HiMERU directly, but he had gone home for the day, so you asked the others instead.

Very well, HiMERU understands the situation. Certainly, he has often been going home early in recent times. Since you’re quite busy yourself, we probably just kept missing each other.

(Still, there was no need for Amagi to use such a loaded phrase like “screw up”... It made HiMERU far too suspicious for no reason.)

You’re sorry for making it seem like you’re sounding HiMERU out? Please, there’s no need to apologize.

...You want to know HiMERU’s request? In other words, what kind of outfit HiMERU would like to wear?

Please don’t concern yourself with what HiMERU wants; feel free to design whatever your heart desires, Anzu-san —

No matter what kind of outfit it will turn out to be, it will look stylish on HiMERU. Please create it as you see fit.

— What’s the matter? Do you have a question for HiMERU?

You want to think of a rough draft at home and consult HiMERU again once you’ve come up with something…?

Understood. Feel free to talk to HiMERU whenever you’d like, Anzu-san.

Location: Concert Hall

- Several days later. The evening of a day off, at the composer Tsukinaga Leo’s solo concert, “Ave Maria” -

Kohaku: ( — Tsukinaga Leo.)

(A genius, world-renowned composer, and the former leader of one of ES’s Big Three: Knights.)

(Back ‘round spring, they carried out a ceremony t’hand down his title — the “Coronation”. Since then, he turned over his full authority to his successor Bon — Suou Tsukasa — and went into semi-retirement.)

(Or at least, that’s what the guy put out as an official announcement in interviews.)

(But that fella ain’t lookin’ the least bit retired to me right now.)

Leo: “♪ ~ ♪ ~ ♪”

Kohaku: (Goin’ by records of him, Tsukinaga Leo’s actually been mighty active since that “Coronation”. In fact, it looks as if he’s been movin’ around way more freely than ever, with vim an’ vigor.)

(But that’s not as a member of Knights, but as the composer Tsukinaga Leo. Reckon he’s skippin’ out on idol activities an’ just doin’ what he likes best: composin’ music.)

(Based on the online rumors Rabu-han told me about, Tsukinaga Leo seems t’be quite the whimsical fella, an’ a chronic slacker to boot.)

(Apparently there were times when he didn’t show up to performances he was scheduled t’appear in, an’ once he even took a pretty long hiatus from idol activities entirely.)

(Some people criticize ‘im, sayin’ he’s “an egoist with only the temperament of a prodigy, whose conduct and words are often erratic and unhinged”. In that case, I reckon he’s the kinda person the uptight an’ pigheaded Bon would hate viscerally.)

(...Nah, somethin’s off. The rumors about Tsukinaga Leo don’t match up with his track record. Or rather, based on these documents, it’s not like he’s actually skippin’ out on his idol activities.)

(He’s been appearin’ in practically all of Knights’ numerous performances since the beginning of this year.)

(So the rumors about ‘im bein’ a chronic slacker are outdated...)

(Maybe the gossip about this other guy, Sena Izumi, who’s focusin’ on his career as a model overseas, is gettin’ muddled up in ‘em.)

(Feels like all the ill repute ‘bout not bein’ active enough as an idol, an’ all other kinda bad things, are made out to be Tsukinaga Leo’s fault, or rather —)

(It’s like he himself keeps doin’ outlandish stuff arbitrarily, perhaps in order to induce people to believe this.)

(Whenever they’ve got a fierce live battle goin' on against someone else, Tsukinaga Leo always stands in the frontline an’ incites the enemy.)

(Whether he’s doin’ it ‘cause he’s a violent, belligerent kinda guy, or if that’s just the pose he chooses ta strike in order to direct all o' the criticism to himself — )

(In other words, whether he’s doin’ it just ta protect his comrades ain’t somethin’ I can conclude just from these here documents.)

(“Knights are a buncha barbarians who do nothin’ but fight others, an’ Tsukinaga Leo’s the dictator who rules over ‘em all” — those are the kinda unfavorable rumors that’re heapin’ up.)

(Reckon that’s the most evocative kinda scene ta people, which is why it’s the one they show in photographs an’ put on articles ta get everyone riled up.)

(Even though Knights was s’pposed t’have undergone a change o’ generations, it’s still Tsukinaga Leo an’ not Bon who’s at the center of the conversation.)

(“Tsukinaga Leo is fattenin’ his own pockets by usin’ Suou Tsukasa like a puppet an’ suckin’ his vast fortune dry”, “He’s doin’ whatever he likes, usin’ his own comrade’s money”)

(— Those are the kinda completely unfounded rumors that are bein’ passed around as gospel.)

(But they’re the kinda accusations you’d scoff at the moment ya got ta know either of ‘em fellas.)

(As if Bon, who’s got nothin’ but his overblown pride an’ fastidiousness an’ not a sliver of endurance, would ever put up with bein’ made into someone else’s puppet.)

(‘Sides, if Bon was misusin’ the Suou fortune, us Oukawas would catch wind of it, beyond a shadow of a doubt.)

(That’s our rightful duty anyhow. Generation after generation, we’ve been the Sword of Damocles* hangin’ over the throne of the "immaculate" Suou family.)

(Throughout our long history, our status an’ disposition changed bit by bit, though.)

(Thanks ta the head house havin’ been in decline since around the Meiji Restoration**, eventually bein' reduced ta poverty-stricken aristocrats, we reached a point where we couldn’t just keep butterin’ ‘em up anymore.)

(...Anyway, this ain’t about us.)

(The issue’s Tsukinaga Leo. The public doesn’t know 'bout this yet, but that guy’s been involved in wrongdoings. Ya might even call ‘em criminal acts.)

(I’ve yet ta find any evidence for it, but seein’ as our vice prez said so, it can’t just be baseless, idle talk.)

(As the vice prez himself keeps insistin’, he’s a businessman at heart, so he wouldn’t invest in a prospect he doesn’t expect ta profit from.)

(Or maybe he’s just meddlin’ with me t’get his revenge for the hell my unit mate Rinne-han put ‘im through back durin’ MDM...?)

(Nah, he wouldn’t do such a childish tit-for-tat kinda thing.)

(An’ either way, I don’t gotta choice but ta do what the vice prez is askin’ of me this time — no matter how lil I trust the fella an’ how much he rubs me the wrong way.)

(Crazy:B can’t afford ta keep bein’ stopped in our tracks; we’re goin’ to the dogs without a lick o’ jobs.)

(We overcame hardship an’ gained freedom over our own lives. I don’t wanna believe we’re helplessly stuck at a dead end street now.)

(‘Sides… The guy in question, Tsukinaga Leo — bein’ Knights’ ex-leader in some way or another — still’s got a mighty influential voice even now.)

(His popularity among fans is through the roof, an’ he’s already renowned for his compositions even overseas.)

(Despite no longer holdin’ the title of “Ousama”, Tsukinaga Leo’s apparently still the heart of Knights — much to Bon’s displeasure, I reckon.)

(Ya can’t remove that heart entirely, but if it’s been afflicted by some disease, then ya gotta at least deal with it before it gets exacerbated.)

(An’ if Bon’s unable to do that from the inside, then I’ll put the scalpel to it from the outside instead.)

(By doin’ that, I’ll be able to indirectly protect Bon.)

(I’m not exactly the cream o’ the Oukawa crop...)

(But even if just by a lil bit, I feel ready ta fulfill the duty I’ve been assigned long before my birth… Bon.)

—————

* The Sword of Damocles is an anecdote about Damocles, who pandered to the king Dionysus by saying that he was truly fortunate to have all that power, upon which Dionysus offered the throne to him. Damocles accepted eagerly, but Dionysus hung a sword over the throne by a single horse’s tailhair to signify the danger that comes along with the power and authority of being king. Soon, Damocles begged to be allowed to leave the throne again, unable to bear the constant fear.

** Meiji Restoration

Location: Resting Area

- Early September, in the Resting Area of the ES building -

Kohaku: — Yeah, yeah.

I get it already, no need ta keep remindin’ me over an’ over.

Unlike Rinne-han, I’m not the type ta try an’ outwit others an’ deceive ‘em. I generally obey the higher-ups.

But I don’t like being thought of as a chess piece or slave ya can just use t’yer convenience forever.

This’ll be the last time I’ll do your biddin’, and if ya don’t keep your end of the deal, I’ll have no mercy — Vice Prez-han.

Seems like ya underwent a good bit of training yourself, but it’s impossible t'be on your guard 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

We know just how ta stab someone with a poison stinger the moment they get careless.

Make sure ya treasure the one and only life yer parents gave ya.

Uh huh. Gotcha. ...Uh, my acquaintance just got here, so I’mma hang up on ya.

We’ll talk again when I give ya the periodical report, as accordin’ to the rules. — See ya.

Aira: He~y, Kohakucchi~♪

Kohaku: ……...♪

Aira: Hm? What’s up, you’re grinning ear to ear — Did something nice happen?

Kohaku: Nah, I was just thinkin’ 'bout how I actually got real used ta bein’ called “Kohakucchi”.

Couldn’t help but laugh at myself for that, I guess — I usually consider myself a real bonehead, y’know.

Anyhow. Sorry for callin’ ya over here when you’re so busy… Rabu-han ♪

Aira: Uu. Stop it, I just can’t seem to get used to that “Rabu-han” nickname — or, like, it reminds me of a dark past I’d really like to forget!

Kohaku: Ko ko ko ♪ It's a good name 'cause it's cute; it suits ya well, Rabu-han.

Aira: Uu~, you’re the only one who praises me like that, Kohakucchi~...

I’ve been so useless lately — I almost think that I peaked back at MDM and it’s all gonna be downhill from there.

Kohaku: Hmm, what’s that all about? Are ya saying you've tasted all life has ta offer, with that adolescent body of yours?

Aira: That’s not what I’m saying… It's just that everyone in Alkaloid hasn't been attending school since forever, but now we’ve finally gone back to Yumenosaki and Reimei and stuff.

They told us that as long as we pull off our idol activities, they won’t see our lack of attendance as a problem, but it’s a given that we’ve fallen behind on our studies…

For what it’s worth, Yumenosaki’s an “Idol Training School”, so the difficulty and quantity of normal classes there are pretty low.

But y’know, I just don’t have the braincells for it.

I failed, like, a whole bunch of exams the other day during the periodic testing. It's not like they’re gonna suspend me for that, but —

Even Isara-buchou, who always smiles so gently no matter what may happen, got kinda exasperated and told me, “Dude, this goes a bit far…”.

What a shock~, guess I’m an underachiever as a high schooler as well…

Kohaku: Isara? Ain’t that the guy from Trickstar? Why’re ya callin’ him “buchou”?

Aira: Ah, it’s because I joined the Basketball Club at school. He’s the club captain there.

How about you, Kohakucchi — what club did you join? Actually, did Crazy:B even go back to school at all?

Kohaku: Well, our Rinne-han’s already an adult, and Niki-han has the kinda constitution that'd make him starve ta death before he could even get any studying done…

HiMERU-han apparently skipped grades and already graduated from university a long while ago, so we don’t got that kinda “back to school” feeling goin’ on.

Aira: Huh, is that so?

I don’t remember HiMERU’s profile saying anything about that, but I don’t stan CosPro hard enough to know their profiles by heart —

Ah, of course, Kohakucchi is ra~vely* though ♪

Kohaku: Thank ya kindly. ...T’tell the truth, I do wanna see what it’s like ta live a normal high school life for once.

But even if I enrolled, they’d probably just stick me into one of the schools that have connections ta my agency, like Reimei or Shuuetsu.

Back when I was troubled ‘cause I didn’t have anywhere t’stay, the agency put in a good word for me so I could stay at Reimei’s dormitory, y’see.

Aira: Eh~? Just come to Yumenosaki instead! I’m sure every day would be super fun with Kohakucchi around ♪

Kohaku: Ya make it sound so easy. In this world, there are a great many things ya can’t go up against no matter how hard ya wish ta, y’know.

More importantly. Much as I’d like ta keep chit chattin’ with ya like this, you're livin’ the busy high schooler’s life — Mind if I jump right into business?

Aira: Ah, right! Sorry, sorry!

Talking to Kohakucchi always makes me feel relaxed — like, it kinda heals my soul — so I just couldn’t help myself ♪

Guess I can’t be like Hiro-kun, who’s a moron but still somehow ended up getting some of the best grades in his year through what must’ve been some kinda mistake.

He’s the enemy of all kids who suck at studying!

Kohaku: Hiro-kun? Oh right, ain’t that yer sweetheart, Rabu-han?

Guess that kid’s more clever than he looks, huh? As expected from Rinne-han’s lil brother.

Aira: He’s not sweet**, he’s an evil that must be defeated! How dare he call himself an “underachiever” like the rest of us!

And he even dared to recite the one magic spell that hurts my feelings, like, “If there’s anything you don’t get, do you want me to teach you?”!

— Well, putting that aside. With how many exams I flunked, I’ve got remedial lessons going on now. It’s a shame, but we’ll have to finish up here quickly.

First things first; I compiled all the materials I had at home and brought them here… Does this help?

The person in question went on a hiatus for a while, so as you might expect, there aren't a lot of records about them from that time —

Kohaku: Gotcha. No worries, this is more than plenty. I don't have any contacts in that field, and while I could’ve asked Bon*** or Vice Prez-han…

I don’t really wanna indebt myself to either of ‘em, so I had no choice but t’rely on ya, Rabu-han.

I know you’re goin’ through a busy time right now, so I’m mighty sorry for causin’ ya trouble like this.

Aira: No worries — we’re friends, after all ♪ And it makes me happy to know that my hobby's finally doing somebody some good… Feels like it hasn’t all been for nothing.

But what are you gonna use Tsukinaga-senpai’s activity records and his fan’s chatlogs for, anyway?

This is all public info, so normally I’d just think you’re researching him out of curiosity.

But, Kohakucchi, you were kidnapped by Tsukinaga-senpai — or rather, by Knights — back during MDM, weren't you?

It doesn't really feel like you're looking into them just 'cause you like 'em, so I'm a little uneasy, y'know?

Kohaku: Right. Well, let’s just say it’s a work-related necessity.

Aira: Work?

Kohaku: Yep. ...And as usual, it’s a dirty job, befittin’ of me.

—————————

* In case you missed it, Aira’s catchphrases all have to do with the word love (Aira-bu (I love), Raburi (Lovely)) and so on. He uses the katakana word “Love” for it. In this case, he said “Kohakucchi is love!” and I tried to keep it consistent with his other catchphrases that have received a localization in Main Story already.

** Kohaku calls Hiiro Aira's "良ぇひと" which literally means "good person" but means boyfriend when used in this context, but Aira likely misunderstands him as saying that Hiiro is a good person in general and he refutes this and calls him evil instead. In my opinion he either misunderstood Kohaku or purposely plays off the expression he used.

*** Bon (坊) (boy, son, sonny) is what Kohaku calls Tsukasa.

Location: Night Club Interior

Rinne: — Oi. Why the long face? Don’tcha know we’re in the middle of a live?

Yuuta: ...Of course I do. I know it’s unprofessional of me, but I kinda saw something unpleasant and it put a damper on my mood.

Rinne: That so? Guess it’s only natural, though. All your life, you’ve been diligently protected from seein’ anythin’ unclean or unpleasant, right?

But y’know, that kinda overboard consideration makes me wanna puke — though it’s probably definitely all done outta love.

Yuuta: ...I said I get it already. Honestly, I was surprised to find out that lots of people don’t know that their love's something that can hurt others.

Rinne: Yep. So go on and tell ‘em.

Tell ‘em the truth of this world that no one ever told ‘em about, which they in turn never tried to figure out. The only one who can do that is you, 'cause no one else knows your “right answer”.

We’ve got mouths and we’ve got words. And we’ve got the right to turn those words into a lovely lil' song, and spread it all over the world…

You’ve got a place set up for you to reach lots and lots of people with your message.

It’s right here, on this very stage. Why didja get up here? To earn some cash? To be fawned over?

Or was it in order to get all the affection that your parents and society never gave ya from someone else instead?

Yuuta: ...Is it bad to stand on stage for an impure reason like that?

Rinne: Nnnope? ‘S just, I’m not sensin’ the slightest hint of a narrative from the two of ya…

From what I found out 'bout your personal history, it looks like you’ve been through some shit, but you’re just tryna bury all those murky feelings in the depths of your hearts.

You guys are flashy and talented, and you’ve got the skills, but there’s no context to it. Ya don’t have a story to tell — all you’re doin’ is opening your toy box and havin’ fun playing around together with your fans.

And I think that’s already fine by itself; after all, that's what pretty much all idols are by nature — nothin’ but amusement for the masses.

If ya can let ‘em kill some time enjoyin’ themselves, even just for a lil' while, that’s already enough.

Unfortunately, I’m already too old to be satisfied with that kinda child’s play, though…

If you guys are gonna be grapplin’ with the world for real from now on, you’d better belt out stories that'll resonate with all those bored-ass adults that live in it.

Your way of doin’ things may fly in the world of children, and everyone's prolly been heapin' praise on you for it.

But the ones who make this world go round are the adults who've long grown tired of those kinda thrills, y’know —

Rinne: Well, if you’re not interested in that kinda stuff I’m not gonna force ya, though.

If no one’s up for doin’ it, then we will. And for better or worse, there're as many idols out there as there are stars in the sky.

Brats like you guys should just do whatever you can do, and give your all in that.

“~.....♪”

Yuuta: ………

(Ugh~... This guy really pisses me off. I feel like I suddenly get why everyone hates Amagi Rinne — It’s because every single thing he says and does is provocative and vulgar, huh.)

(It’s because he digs up those sewers which everyone pretends not to notice while going about their lives, and scatters the mud and stench around.)

(It’s something I’d absolutely never do, and I’ve never been stained by such things. ...Thanks to Hinata-kun risking his life keeping me clean and protecting me from them.)

(But I’m grown-up enough to at least have noticed that there are disgusting things flowing beneath my feet.)

(All those people who've forgotten that I'm a grown-up by now, and who'd treat me like a kid forever — maybe it'd be okay... to do stuff that'll surprise them.)

(It’s fine if I put my feelings — if I put Aoi Yuuta’s feelings into song and released them to the world, right?)

(...My heart's racing so fast it could burst at the thought of that alone. Guess it’s still too soon for me to take part in games for adults like this.)

“— Dad!”

(Alright, I’m gonna tell you! I’ll tell you something a hundred times worse than all the things you said to us!)

(But I’ll do it in a way that’s worthy of us — a way worthy of idols!)

(And once I do, I’m sure I’ll have a weight off my shoulders — even if just a little bit!)

(I'm just venting my anger on you, but you did the exact same thing to us, so it’s fine, right!)

“Did you come to cheer for us? Thank you! We’re always so grateful to you! It’s all thanks to you that we became such splendid idols, Dad!”

Yuuta: “And that’s why! Today, wholeheartedly and with all my might — I’ll put all my love into it and sing!”

“With the smile of a child, but the freedom of an adult! As a single, regular human, the likes of which you could find just about anywhere!”

“♪ ~ ♪ ~ ♪”

Location: Night Club Interior

Hinata: Aah, so I wasn’t mistaken. You know, Onii-chan, you’re gaping at Dad almost like he’s a murderer.

Yuuta: ...That’s because I hate him. I loathe his guts. So much that I wish he’d bite his tongue and drop dead right this second.

Hinata: Mhm.

Yuuta: What on earth is that guy doing in a seedy nightlife district like this? Treating himself to some drinks for working himself ragged or something?

Hinata: Oh, I don’t think so. You won't like me saying this, Onii-chan, but I think the family resemblance between you two is showing…

He’s probably worried about us, just like how you were worried about me, Onii-chan.

We’ve been really active all over the place lately, and have become celebrities, too.

If people like us are spotted in a shady club within this kinda "nightlife district", of course there’ll be talk.

Hearing rumors like that could worry just about anyone. That is, if the person in question loves us even a little bit, parent or not.

Yuuta: ……....

Hinata: I figured it’d make you mad, Onii-chan, or at least put you in a bad mood, so I never told you, but…

He’s always been like that, you know. Whenever 2wink becomes the talk of the town, he’d text me a few words over the phone.

And whenever worrying rumours about us pop up on the 'net or anything, he’ll give me a call.

Like when Crazy:B went on that rampage during summer break, for example, he asked me if we were doing okay.

He said he cares about us, and that he wants to help us out if anything happens. ...Though you're probably thinking that any good parent should lend their help before something goes down.

But he did help us out, y'know. In his own way.

Or did you really think that I'd managed to sustain our idol activities on my own this whole time, when I'm the same age as you?

When we’re both still at an age where we need a guardian's approval for everything?

Yuuta: ...That man is not our guardian. We’ve left that house to live in Starmony Dormitory and we have our own income, so at this point he’s nothing but a stranger with zero relation to us.

No. That person became a stranger to us the very instant he spoke to us like we were monsters.

Hinata: Mhm. That’s why I won’t ask you to forgive him.

He may as well be a complete stranger to us, since he lost any right to be our parent through his callous statements.

But you know… In that case, I wanna at least face him the way I would a stranger.

If we hated that person more than necessary, held him in contempt, and spoke of him as if he was less than a stranger — less than a human; a monster…

Then we'd be just the same as him, who talked about us as if we were repulsive monsters. No, we really would become monsters who won’t even treat humans as humans.

I don’t wanna become like that, and I don’t want you to turn into that kind of creature either, Onii-chan.

Which is why, as a stranger to him, and as an idol — I’ll treat him like he’s a guest who's just come to watch our performances, and I’ll tell him:

“Thank you.”

And then, I’ll spread love as an idol by singing and dancing to the best of my ability. Maybe I can’t offer the love of a boyfriend or husband, or a family member...

But at the very least I won’t play favorites amongst fans, or withhold love from certain people — I won’t discriminate.

After all, isn’t that the very thing we hate the most?

Hinata: The love of those who “love everyone” isn’t any weaker, or insufficient, compared to people who love only one single person.

Even love that’s directed at “everyone” has the power to save people. I know this for a fact, and I believe in it.

“♪ ~ ♪ ~ ♪”

Yuuta: (...What the hell.)

(Talk about arrogant. You’re always, always like this, huh.)

(Talking like you’re an adult who knows the right answer, and I’m just a kid who doesn't know a thing. Even though we were born on the same day, and were supposed to have been growing at the same pace.)

(You've taken up the role of my guardian, just because you’re the older brother and the leader.)

(You know, I've wanted to share the burden you’re carrying, even just a little.)

(That’s why I’d always ask to do things together with you… Saying that we should carry the burden together, no matter what it might be — and we made that work.)

(And I thought that just by doing that, everything was going well. I convinced myself of it.)

(But was I just like a kid who innocently says, “Lemme help, too~!” to you?)

(Was everything I offered just the useless ideas of your cute little protegé, who doesn’t even realize his own powerlessness?)

Location: Night Club Interior

HiMERU: — Hmm.

As expected, that was your thought process behind this. So that’s why you denied HiMERU’s intent on returning to solo activities, Amagi.

Rinne: Yup. ‘Cause think about it; what's gonna happen if you were to go back to bein’ the good ol' idol the “former HiMERU” used to be?

What if you were to go back to bein’ all pure and virtuous, or in other words, some goody-two-shoes who would never ever go against ES’s lil' schemes?

HiMERU: — HiMERU would no longer have anywhere to go, that is for sure.

To the outcasts who seem to have gathered at this club, who all rever Crazy:B as their shining star of hope, it would appear as though HiMERU is betraying his comrades.

Even though HiMERU's supposed to be someone representing their dissatisfaction.

To them, it would simply look as though HiMERU is buttering up the very ES that they loathe and turning into its literal lap dog.

And at the same time, there's basically no way for a solo idol to survive at ES, the way it is now.

Of course, there are solo jobs, but there are barely any chances for a solo idol to flourish and be acknowledged.

At the very least, expecting the former HiMERU’s working conditions to net you the same level of fame and rewards these days would only be futile.

Not to mention, Crazy:B has such a terrible reputation that we basically can’t land a job.

Now that the stench of Crazy:B is clinging to HiMERU, no one would touch him even with a ten-foot-pole.

By no means does HiMERU hope to receive the same treatment he did in the past... There’s no way HiMERU can return to his former self, surely. No matter how much he longs to do that.

Rinne: Well, ya never know ‘til ya try. But even as someone who loves risky gambles, I don’t think the odds look too good for ya.

Pretty sure you've got nothin' to gain, but a lot to lose here.

I figured it’d just remind ya of all the things ya lost, and end with you gettin’ hurt for no reason.

HiMERU: ………

Rinne: That’s why “I” stopped ya. After all, when I was losin' all hope worryin' over shit on my own and did nothin' but run away bawlin' my ass off, you guys were the ones who stopped me.

...Ya got a problem with that, huh, do ya? HiMERU?

HiMERU: — No.

It’s just... a rather lonely feeling. Like — “Aah, so returning to those days is truly impossible.”

Sad and painful things may have transpired, but without a doubt, it had been happiness.

Rinne: Yeah. You can wish for it with all your heart but no matter what, no one can ever return to the past.

So instead, we face the future. How about it — why don’tcha get your head outta the clouds for a sec and take a look around ya?

HiMERU: ………

Rinne: All these people gathered here today don't know shit about your past self. But they might know about us, here in the present.

And if they don’t, then we’ll give them a lil' self-intro, sing and dance — And even if we have to carve it into ‘em with our stingers, this is what we’ll tell ‘em:

“We’re right here. And so are you, and that’s alright.”

“It’s okay for you to be alive. It’s okay for you to decide for yourself what you believe to be right.”

If society won’t tell ‘em that, then we will! With everything that we are!

Even to all those folks who were denied at every turn, who were told, “You’re in the wrong” by some yahoo — We'll be the only ones to tell ‘em, “You’re right!”

‘Cause I was once saved by people like them! ‘Cause there were people who loved, rooted for, and validated a stupid piece of shit like me!

‘Cause some idol I already forgot the name and face of, who I saw when I first came to the city, told me “Thank you!” when I got excited and overjoyed watching ‘em!

“Thank you for being alive, thank you for watching and smiling for me!”, they said!

Havin’ been told that I’m in the wrong time and time again, I’d forgotten how to breathe, but those words which they prolly say to everyone they meet — they saved me!

That’s why I’ll go on and say the same thing! To everyone who’s just like how I used to be back then!

No matter how much they may hate it, no matter how much they'll try to reject me, I’ll steal a kiss from their lips and keep ‘em breathin’ by force! Gyahahahahaha ☆

And among the survivors, there’ll definitely be people who’ll thank us and love us!

Those people'll swarm together, team up, and form a hive!

A hive that’s just like this club! Let’s build more an’ more of those hives all over the world, HiMERU! Crazy:B!

In a world where no one will deny our way of life — let’s live there together, playin’ around every day ’til we drop dead!

“♪ ~ ♪ ~ ♪”

HiMERU: (Fufu. As always, you dance to your own tune, simply say your part, and you're off.)

(What are you, a child? ...Even though you’re the eldest among us.)

(You truly piss me off. And yet —)

— HiMERU understands all the points you’ve made, in spite of your rather flawed presentation of them. Please don’t just “play around”; be sure to do your work properly, too.

To HiMERU, there is no greater happiness than working as an idol and being able to live as the idol known as HiMERU.

Playing mahjong, having foolish conversations, and drinking alcohol — well, HiMERU has no experience with that last one, but he derives no pleasure at all from such things.

However, while this vulgar and filthy setting may be far removed from the ideal HiMERU had pictured —

HiMERU: And while the insects in the vicinity may be unpleasant to be around in all their annoying buzzing…

As long as he can sing and dance and stand on stage as “HiMERU”, then perhaps this setting and situation may not be all that undesirable for him.

This is happiness, it’s fun.

HiMERU: In that case, Amagi… Right now, HiMERU has not a single reason to deny your words or refuse your request.

“♪ ~ ♪ ~ ♪”

Yuuta: (That’s right… No matter how much we may wish for it, we can’t return to the past.)

(All we can do is accept the present and struggle for a better future. Just like HiMERU-san, just like Crazy:B.)

(No matter how we may weep and whine like babies, we can’t ever crawl back into our mother’s belly.)

(No matter how much we insist that we’re “two in one”, that we can become the strongest individual together, we can no longer return to the time before we split into two.)

(Aoi Yuuta and Aoi Hinata are separate people by now, who live their separate lives. And I know that already, I know we’re no longer “one and the same” since a long time ago...)

Hinata: Onii-chan, Onii-chan.

Yuuta: ...Whatever is the matter, little one. Your Onii-chan is fretting about some very serious matters right now and it’s the middle of a performance, so if this is about something trifling, save it for later.

Hinata: Mhm. But look, over there.

Yuuta: Over where—

U-uhyah!?

(...Wha—!? Huh, this can’t be real, can it? W-w-what's going on?)

(—Right there, in the audience, sits our dad.)

(Our father, who hurt us deeply a long, long time ago, when he told us that we’re revolting because it’s impossible to tell us apart.)

———————

TL Note about personal pronouns: Rinne switched from his usual “orecchi” to simply using “ore” when he addresses HiMERU by name, making him come off as more down-to-earth and serious than he usually is, which I felt was worth pointing out. He goes back to using “orecchi” shortly after.

TL Note about the twins: The way they address their father has not changed since Setsubun, the word is still お父さん (father, dad).

Location: Night Club Interior

Rinne: That said! In order to assert and prove that we here at Crazy:B are the bestest of buddies with everyone’s beloved 2wink —

And in order to make sure that even the very last dumbass in the world gets it, we’re gonna hold a joint live with them…..☆

Niki: Ugh~, I just knew that’s what this was all about… In that case, can I leave? I don’t like live performances, they just make me hungry~.

Look, you only need two or more people to be recognized as a unit, right? So there’s no problem with me going home, yeah? Welp, do your best, everyone! Bye~♪

Rinne: Stop right there, asshole. If ya leave without my permission I’ll fuckin’ beat ya to death.

Niki: Uwaaahn, this guy jumps right to the death threats~! Quick, someone arrest this man~, he’s abusing his authority!

Kohaku: Ahaha, but why not stick around? I mean, we’ve basically been out of a job ever since we were on the brink of breakin’ up back around MDM.

We ain’t had a chance ta stand on stage together an’ perform with all four of us since then.

Back durin’ MDM, we didn’t even have a clue what performin' with co-stars meant, an’ we were in a real messy place.

Up ‘til then, we were like a buncha guys sent on a suicide mission by the higher-ups, ordered ta kamikaze bomb the people around us…

To us, this is gonna be the first stage we can stand on outta our own free will, peacefully by the sides o' other folks.

I, fer one, am real happy t’get ta stand on such a stage. That ain't the case fer you, Niki-han?

In that case, I’d feel kinda lonelyyy.... I reckon I ain't got the right ta try an’ keep ya here… But won’tcha join us? Pretty please?

Niki: Uu, cut it out! Don’t look at me with tears in your eyes, I’m weaker to stuff like that than you’d expect~! Aah, that’s just how Rinne-kun looked at me when I first found him and took him in —

Rinne: Aah? As if I ever begged ya with teary eyes like that!

But come ooon, Niki… Let’s do it togetheeer, I’m just no good without’cha by my side—

Niki: Aaaaah~! Aaaaah~! I can’t hear yo~u! That's so unfair of you, appealing to my compassion like that!

Rinne: Eh~? Guess I gotta lure ya in with a physical reward instead…

If ya get up on stage with us, I’ll treat ya to a meal here at this club ♪ I’ll let ya eat as much as ya like, alright? Sounds good?

Niki: Deal! I’ll do anything for food — What do I need to do, Rinne-kun!? Do you want me to lick your shoes?

Rinne: Right. Just as I thought, food’s more important to you than I am, huh… When I think about that, I get kinda down in the dumps every now and then, y'know?

HiMERU: — Fufu. As usual, you’re having a foolish and vulgar conversation that’s entirely unbefitting of idols.

Rinne: Aah? And what’s wrong with that? I told ya this place has nothin' to do with ES, didn’t I?

This here's a free stage where you can knock down any and all worthless shit, like those rules ES went and decided on their own, and all that "befitting of an idol" bullcrap!

HiMERU: It certainly appears to be so. On the way here, and during his conversations and such earlier, HiMERU made use of his information network and looked into it…

Apparently, this club follows a policy of refusing to adopt the L$ system, and operating without striking any deals with ES.

Although that’s an entirely ill-advised policy, seeing as how they’re on ES turf.

Rinne: Yeah, they’re a bunch of reckless fuckin’ idiots. But y’know — and this goes without sayin’, really — not everyone approves of ES.

There are some who can’t get used to it, some who were excluded, and some who were even driven out by it.

For this club, servin’ delicious booze has always been their pride and joy. But it’s unthinkable for idols to drink alcohol...

And most of 'em are still student-aged, so they shouldn’t even be anywhere near the stench of booze.

— Or at least that’s the view certain upholders of moral standards spout, which ES accepts and affirms.

The local politicians who were tryna feel out ES' stance on things then tightened alcohol regulations in order to appease ‘em.

ES's pretty much a chicken poppin' out golden eggs, the way they’re in charge of a huge industry the region boasts of…

I don’t think the politicians are takin’ bribes — It’s only natural that everyone’s movin’ in whichever direction will keep ES in good spirits.

But thanks to this “great flow of things” causin’ the whole region — and even all of society — to revolve around ES, lots of folks are gettin’ the short end of the stick.

This club's among those, and so are all the people gathered here.

Tons of folks disapprove of ES and that "great flow of things" it brought forth, and do their best to distance themselves from it.

To all those guys, this club, which refuses to give in to ES and implement the L$ system, and still serves alcohol —

And us, Crazy:B — who... well, kinda may have died a miserable death from exploding at the last moment, but still defied ES head-on and represented the people’s disapproval of it…

...became their leaders who embody their hopes and dreams — Their heroes.

That’s the context behind how we as Crazy:B are bein’ treated. Nuisances who can’t adapt to society, and wound up as dropouts 'cause of that…

All those people out there with negative feelings, discontent and hatred, all jumbled together and swirlin’ around in their stomachs — they're our best customers.

We’re the only ones who validate, console and cherish them and these feelings they harbour.

Those guys who’re hidden in a darkness which the oh-so-pure “true idols” from ES won’t pay any attention to and aren’t even aware of… They're our beloved customers.

And as long as we've got even a single customer, a single fan — then we've got a duty to keep bein’ idols.

Well, that's somethin’ those lil' cheepin’ juniors had the nerve to remind me of back durin’ MDM.

We, Crazy:B, will become a shining star for those outcasts of society.

We’re the only ones who'll validate and love all those folks who disagree with the popular definition of what a “real star” is.

Our existence proves to ‘em that there’s no grounds for ‘em bein’ all criticized and looked down on.

Even if ya drink booze just to get drunk off your ass and forget about your pain for a lil' while, that’s already enough. After all, that’s exactly why alcohol's needed in this world.

Alright, let’s treat ‘em to some absolutely exceptional honey mead ♪

This is all for those guys who’re beyond redemption, who’re in so much pain and distress that all they can do is drown their sorrows in booze —

Those guys whose wounds only deepen when they’re denied by society and called a disgrace for drinkin’ and gettin’ drunk — this is all for them! Gyahahahaha ☆

Location: Practice Room

Hajime: One and two, three and four ♪ And the turn… Uwawah?

Tomoya: Hajime, are you okay? If you can’t get up, I’ll lend you a hand.

Hajime: Ahaha, thank you very much. But I just fell on my butt, that’s all… Heave-ho.

Moving the way Mitsuru-kun does is still difficult for me. If I practice lots and lots at home, maybe I can get it right next time ♪

Mitsuru: Yep yep. Hajime-chan can do it if he tries. You’re gonna be okay for sure!

Alright, I’ll show you again how it’s done. One and two, three and four ♪ Then a turn, and a handspring~♪

Rolling around like this is so much fun, ahahaha ☆

Hajime: L-like this? The turn, and a handspring~... Ouch!?

Tomoya: Don’t overdo it, Hajime~. Let’s go at our own pace, alright?

Nii~chan always tells us to do just what each of us can do during lessons.

Hajime: Y-yeah. Trying to rush it is no good, huh?

Tomoya: But it’s really rare for Nii~chan to be running late. Maybe I should drop by his classroom and see if he’s still there?

Hajime: Ah, speak of the devil. Nii~chan’s here ♪

Nazuna: S-sorry I’m late! I kinda heard a weird story, and thinking about it while I walked…

Hajime: A weird story?

Nazuna: Yup. Remember how we appeared in that promotional event for a game the other day? As it turns out, our co-stars for that event actually canceled at the last minute.

Hajime: Eeh!? But we performed with some others back then…

If the real co-stars canceled last minute, then who on earth were those people?

Nazuna: Exactly. Apparently the staff at the location weren’t told anything by the client, just to make everyone wear those angel costumes.

I was on the phone with the artists who were supposed to co-star with us today, and they told me the truth of the matter.

Apparently they expected that they’d get a call about their last minute cancellation, but instead they were told that the event was a huge success.

And then they were asked to star in future events as well, which of course they were completely shocked to hear, since they didn’t even appear in this one.

Hajime: Who would’ve thought that our co-stars cancelled last minute…

Does that mean that Orthos-kun and the others were dressed in those costumes, but weren’t even an idol unit?

Nazuna: Yeah. And that just makes me wonder… Just what were they?

Mitsuru: Hrm~m. ...Ah, I’ve got it! The guys who co-starred with us were real angels, that’s gotta be it!

Tomoya: “Real angels”, you say… Of course, I thought they really looked just like angels too, but there’s no way angels actually exist.

Mitsuru: I mean, I think so, too. But Orthos-kun and the others had such real-looking wings, and when they spread them they went like, swishhh!

Normally, people wouldn’t be able to spread their wings like that!

Hajime: That’s true~. Ravial-san, who was standing behind me, had such large wings. Just as Mitsuru-kun says, he was just like a real angel.

Tomoya: Not you too, Hajime… I mean, yeah, those wings looked so well-made that it’s hard to believe they were fakes, so it’s not like I don’t get where you’re coming from…

Nazuna: Now that you say it, maybe Orthos-kun actually was flying while holding me back then…?

At the time I thought I was just being lifted up along with Orthos-kun, who was hanging on wires.

But now that I think more about it, he didn’t look like he was wearing a harness…

It was more like he was flying through the air by the movement of his wings.

Tomoya: Wh-, not you too, Nii~chan! Stop saying stuff like that, please…

I mean, it’d be quite the moving story if real angels descended to save us from our plight…

But I still can’t imagine that being true. Maybe there was another event with an angelic theme like ours going on somewhere in the area…?

Nazuna: Well, that may be it. But we did actually stand on stage together with them, and those memories are real.

Hajime: Yes. And Orthos-kun said he wouldn’t say “farewell”, so I’m sure we’ll meet again somewhere.

Nazuna: You’re right. Maybe Orthos-kun and the others will be our co-stars again at the next event… Though that’d be a crazy coincidence, huh?

Mitsuru: A live? Nii~chan, are we gonna perform in another live?

Nazuna: I got a call that the event this time was such a success, they want to book us for the next game promotion, too.

Mitsuru: Yaaay, it’s a live! Singing and dancing is so much fun~♪

Hajime: Ehehe, it’s all thanks to Orthos-kun and the others. But I guess it’ll be difficult to get them to be our co-stars again next time…

Nazuna: Yup. The staff asked me to tell them anything we know about them…

So I told them their names and the name of their unit, but they replied that there’s no unit called “The Holy Palace Guards”.

And we don’t even know if “Holy Palace Guards” is a unit name in the first place…

If we can’t find them, they’ll go down in history as legendary idols.

Hajime: Legendary idols, huh~. Ehehe, that sounds so cool...♪

Mitsuru: Alriiight, we’re gonna become legendary idols, too! We’re gonna aim for Koushien* ♪

Tomoya: How is becoming high school baseball stars going to help us here? And it’s not like we did anything deserving of being called “legendary”, either.

Mitsuru: Then we just have to put in even more effort! Nii~chan, when’s the next live? It’s cool with me if it’s today ♪

Nazuna: I only just heard about it earlier, so of course the live isn’t today. But, well, it’s good to see you so fired up.

In order not to be too ashamed to face Orthos-kun and the others when we reunite with them, let’s do our best at what we can do~. Hip, hip, hooray ♪

—————

* Koushien is the stadium where the annual finals of Japanese high school baseball take place.

Location: Mehterhane

Feyle: This place is…

Teufel: Vice Commander. This is without a doubt the Holy Capital. We have safely returned to the world from whence we came.

Feyle: I see… So we finally made it back.

We were only gone for a short while, but somehow it feels like we spent much longer in that other place.

I guess it only goes to show what a lively time we had over there…

Ravial: Feyle.

Feyle: Ah, Commander! We’ve returned to the Holy Capital, see!

Ravial: It appears that way… I’m glad to see that Orthos returned safely, too.

Orthos: Sure, it’s a relief that we were able to return here, but if other people wander into that alley, they might end up in that other world by accident too.

Feyle: That’s true. For the time being, let’s warn people that this area is off-limits…

But it’s a path that the citizens of the Holy Capital use all the time, so even if we blocked it off, I don’t think they’d just accept that without any explanation whatsoever.

Ravial: At a glimpse, the townscape of the Holy Capital looks as it always does. But there may be a trick to it, so I’ll check out the alley once more.

Feyle: Huh!? C-Commander, you can’t! What if we only returned here by chance just this once, and it won’t work a second time!?

What’s going to happen to the Holy Palace Guards if you leave and never return, Commandeeer!?

Ravial: I won’t investigate it without a plan. Also, the Guards would be fine, because they’d still have you.

Feyle: B-but, I can’t lead the Holy Palace Guards all by myself. We wouldn’t be the same Holy Palace Guards without you, Commander!

W-well, I know I can’t keep relying on you forever…

In your absence, I protect the Holy Capital and Palace, as well as Her Highness together with the deputy, Teufel, and the other Guards.

But just as you said, Commander, I still haven’t grown enough to be left in charge of your duties.

If we were to lose you at a time like this, our future would be pitch black!

Ravial: I’m back.

Feyle: Already!? Eh, d-did it all go well?

Ravial: Yeah. There was no need to worry, that path no longer connects to that other dimension.

Orthos: Really? ...Well, the city does look like it always does.

Ah, is that the restaurant Feyle-san was talking about?

Feyle: Y-yeah. That’s the one. It’s the restaurant I wanted to bring Commander Ravial and the others to. So it really was on this street…

Orthos: Guess the mysteries never cease, huh. No idea if it led to that other dimension before, or whether it was just by chance that we were summoned to that world.

Miracles that can only happen here in the Holy Capital of the Sky Kingdom…

Just like I was granted wings on the Day of Saint Michellia, I met the inhabitants of another dimension this year.

Looks like God enjoys surprising me at every turn.

I never could’ve anticipated a birthday present like this.

No, no one could have seen this coming. To think that not just Ravial-niisan and the other Guards, but even inhabitants of another dimension would celebrate my birthday…

Ravial: ...Do you think it’s going to be a good birthday?

Orthos: Yeah. Before I came to the Sky Kingdom, Yuu and the others congratulated me, then Nii-san and the others celebrated with me here in the Sky Kingdom, and then even in that other dimension…

I guess I’m the only one who’s ever gotten to celebrate such a lavish birthday.

Ravial: Wrong, Orthos. We still haven’t celebrated your birthday yet.

Orthos: Don’t worry, I didn’t forget. You promised that we’d celebrate with a feast of fish dishes, right?

Feyle: Commander, Orthos-kun. The two of us will go ahead and book a table at the restaurant. Let’s go, Teufel.

Teufel: Yes, sir.

Orthos: ...Fufu.

Ravial: What’s the matter?

Orthos: When I imagined what kind of faces Yuu and the others make when I tell them about this experience, I couldn’t help but laugh.

We went to a place that probably even Yuu, who taught me about the beauty of the world, has never been to before.

Yuu was the one who taught me that there is beauty to be found all over the world, not just in the Holy Capital. And thanks to him, I learned the joy of wandering the Earth.

When I traveled the Earth, I was the one who was constantly surprised at the stories Yuu would tell me, but now it’s my turn.

When I tell him about the things I experienced first-hand in that other world, he’ll surely be shocked speechless!

Fufu, he’s probably going to be wide-eyed when I tell him that I sang and danced together with Ravial-niisan and the others.

Ravial: Sounds fun.

...I’m really glad that you’ve made such good friends.

Orthos: Thank you, Nii-san.

From my tower, this Holy Capital always seemed so beautiful. And even now that I’ve travelled the Earth, I still believe that it’s as gorgeous as ever.

But now that I’ve known the freedom you can only gain by flying away from the nest… I can’t find it in me to stay here forever.

Of course, this will always be my home town, and nothing can change that, though.

Ravial: That’s already enough for me.

You can come back here anytime you like. Sudden visits are fine, too. I’ll be at ease as long as I get to see your face once a year like this.

I’m sure there are many things you want to tell me that you couldn’t fit into letters. I feel the same way. There are so many things I want to tell you about.

Orthos: Then tell me, Nii-san. There’s still a lot of time left until my birthday is over.

And if we still haven’t said everything we wanted to say by then, there’s always next year.

And if we can continue like this the year after that, and in the future beyond that, then there’s no greater happiness I could wish for.

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September 2021

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