bakemonoremy

TL Note: As you’d think, the French title “assemblé” means “assembled” in the sense of “to construct something/put something together”.

Location: Dance Room

- A few days later -

Tori: Oh, that reminds me. Hey, about this part of the choreo…

According to the instructor, everyone is in sync for this step, but how about we all move the way we like for it? I feel like that’d fit the free and unrestrained image of fairies better.

Hajime: Ah, you’re right. We already distributed the roles of the various fairies, and it’d bring out each fairy’s characteristics more if we moved freely.

Sora: In that case, Sora wants us to scatter a bit more during this intermezzo, too~! That way it’ll look like we’re fairies flying around in the forest!

Tori: Yup, that sounds like a good way to present it. Then I’ll bring that suggestion up with the instructor —

Aira: Fuwaaaah…! How super ra~vely~!

Tori: Hm?

Aira: Uwaaah ♪ It’s just like the scenes I’ve seen on the live show blu-rays…!

The idols I admire so much are having a lesson! They’re exchanging opinions! Right now, I’m seeing bonus backstage footage in the flesh~! Ra~velyyy~☆

Ever since this project started, I’ve made nothing but good memories.

Am I really allowed to be this fortunate? I feel like I’m using up a lifetime supply of good luck here… It’s like, I wouldn’t even be surprised if I dropped dead tomorrow because of it.

Tori: Hey now, Shiratori~! Why are you staring at us from a distance and muttering weird stuff? Aren’t you a member, too? Join in already~!

Aira: Ah, I’m so sorry! The beautiful spectacle before my eyes got me a little too excited, ehehe.

Hajime: Fufu. I can’t help but feel bashful when you look at us so passionately, Shiratori-kun.

Aira: Aaah! Could it be that I was staring too much?! I-I’m so so sorry! Please just tell me straight-up when I’m being annoying, okay?

Tori: Sheesh~... I can tell that you respect us to a painful degree, Shiratori, and it’s almost a little frightening.

But you’re a member of this unit, too. That means you are our equal, doesn’t it?

It’s nice to be respected, but we’re not at the academy here. In the industry, seniority doesn’t count for everything.

We’re all idols here, so there’s no need to act reserved around us, got it?

Aira: R-Reserved?! No way! It’d be soo impertinent of me to show reserve! If I had to put it into words, I’d say I’m “awe-struck”!

Tori: ……… Anyway! Look, just come over here. We’re gonna continue our lesson.

Aira: Okaaay~!

Tori: Alright, let’s jump in at the middle of the prelude — One, two…

♪ ~ ♪ ~

Sora: ♪ ~ ☆

Hajime: ♪ ~ ♪ ~

Aira: ♪ ~ ♪ ~ ♪

— Ah! I-I’m sorry!

(Uwahh~! What do I do, I’m totally blanking…! Crapcrapcrap! Umm, how did these lyrics go again~? How’d it go~...?)

Hajime: Shiratori-kun, it’s okay. If you panic you’ll just make more mistakes, so how about you take some deep breaths?

Aira: Haa… Haa… You’re right — I calmed down a little bit~.

Hajime: Fufu. I’m glad. Today I may be doing okay, but I usually mess up a lot as well, you know. The people around me gave me this advice at times like that…♪

Tori: Also, this is practice for a reason. Feel free to make as many mistakes as you like, as long as you get it right when it counts.

Sora: HaHa~☆ Hime-chan is right! So you should relax some more~.

Aira: Uu. You’re all so nice to me… Thank you very much.

Tori: Good timing though, we’re ripe for a break anyway. Shiratori, do you want to go over the lyric sheets once more?

Aira: Yes! This time I’ll remember them all!

(Now let’s have a look at these lyrics… Oh, right! That’s how this part went.)

(That part of the song has a position change right after it. Maybe I was focusing on the choreo too much…?)

(Alright! This time I’ve got it. I gotta make sure not to mess up again.)

(Ehehe~, it’s so nice of everyone to be concerned about me, though…♪)

(It’s like a dream, to be invited to do this together by such amazing people. I need to do my best so I won’t hold them back…!)

Location: Meeting Room

Aira: Came up with something…?

Tori: Umm, I should have it somewhere around here — Ah, here it is!

I couldn’t get it out of my head ever since I heard about the project theme. So I brought it with me today~♪

How about we add a story based on this to our project?

Sora: ? Is that a picture book?

Tori: Yup. It’s my favorite picture book in the world.

Hajime: Let’s see… “Autumn was starting to shed the vivid clothes that adorned it. And so the heavens spoke that winter was coming. Upon hearing this, the fairies began their preparations.”

Ooh, there are fairies in this. Could it be a story about fairies and Christmas?

Tori: Exactly! It’s a story about fairies that bring winter and Christmas to the townspeople.

But they forget to prepare the presents for everyone, so they have to frantically start making them in a rush.

And they barely manage to finish making them, but now it looks like they won’t be able to deliver them on time.

The fairies are at a loss for what to do, so the heavens and the wind and the forest-dwelling animals all come to their aid and help them out.

They somehow manage to deliver them all, and so the townspeople and the fairies both get to enjoy a happy Christmas. The end.

So? Don’t you think this kinda resembles our own situation right now?

Aira: Fairies… Christmas… Being at your wits’ end because you’re running out of time… Ahaha, now that you say it, it does.

Tori: Right? We are the fairies preparing Christmas for everyone…

And our duty is to prepare presents, a tree and an advent calendar for everyone in town.

I want to convey these circumstances, and the ones of fairies frolicking because of Christmas, in an MV with a story.

Hajime: Wow, that sounds so very cute ♪ I think it’s a great idea!

Aira: So, that means this shuffle unit project is going to be about producing an MV?

Tori: Now for the real issue at hand… Or rather, a personal request from me. I would like to use this MV for a toy store promotion.

Aira: A Toy store promotion? You mean you want to use it in a commercial?

Tori: Yup. You know the toy store the Himemiya family operates in the shopping district?

This time of year is the so-called peak season for toy stores, see.

Of course our store is no exception to this, but to tell the truth, sales have been on the decline for toy stores thanks to shopping malls and the like being built everywhere.

Sora: Huh? Really?

Aira: Hmm. Yeah, it’s something you hear a lot lately. Book stores are another example. Physical stores and independent stores everywhere must really be going through it…

Tori: You could say that. It’s just the way things are going, so there’s nothing we can do about it, really.

It’s not like we’re having financial troubles, though. In fact, our online sales are really promising. But that doesn’t mean we can just sit around and kick our heels.

Also, I myself prefer physical stores where I can see and touch the items for real.

No matter how well the online sales are going, I don’t want our store location to close shop. That’s why I want to promote it with this shuffle unit project!

I’ll be in the ad myself too, but I… or rather, the Himemiya family, would like to act as the promoter and entrust this matter to you guys formally.

Of course, that’s only if everyone here is on board with it… What do you think? Yes or no?

Hajime: I think it sounds like a good idea. It’s definitely progress from where we started, with no plan to speak of. And I think there’s nothing wrong with using it as a way to promote our new song.

Sora: Sora agrees! But while we are already here, Sora wants to aim for something even more awesome!

Aira: Something more awesome?

Sora: Yes! He wants to create a memorable place that fits Christmas perfectly!

Anzu, Sora has a favor to ask~. Is it possible for us to turn what the fairies make into an installation to erect in the park?

That way, we’d be able to give everyone presents there along with our song~!

Hajime: Uwah ♪ That’s a lovely idea! If we could make a Christmas spot, it’d really feel like we became real fairies!

Tori: Huh? Anzu, do you mean it? We can do it? Yaaay!

Hajime: Fufu. I never thought we could build such a splendid project out of nothing ♪ In that case, our plan’s decided.

Tori: Ah, hold on. We still haven’t asked Shiratori for his opinion, right?

Aira: Eh? M-me?

Tori: Yup. Shiratori, what do you think?

Aira: Oh, no, don’t mind me. It’s unthinkable for me to object to any of this.

I wholeheartedly agree with Himemiya-senpai and the others’ opinions, or rather… Well, in any case it’s fine for you to just consider me a filler who’s here to even the numbers ♪

Actually, it’s still a mystery to me why I get to be in a unit with such amazing people like you in the first place.

Tori: Huh? What does that even m—

Nah, nevermind, gotcha. Alright, Shiratori’s also in favor, then.

Well, you heard them, Anzu! The decision’s unanimous, so we’re going with this plan!

TL Note: This part of the story is named “coupe”, which in this case probably means “cut” or “section”.

Location: Meeting Room

- The next day -

Tori: Mr Cameraman, are you done with your preparations? — Good. Well then, let’s get started.

Ahem. There’s not much time left until Christmas, so today we’re going to brainstorm and work out our project!

Hey, Anzu. What do you think we should do first?

Eh? Expand on our idea of Christmas?

Aira: Ahh, I get it. We all name things we associate with Christmas, and from those we choose which of them are usable for an idol project?

Tori: In that case, let’s start off talking candidly about Christmas, shall we? Hajime, can you take notes on the blackboard?

Hajime: Of course ♪ Leave it to me!

Tori: Hm~... Things that come to mind when you say “Christmas”...

I guess Christmas trees are a staple? We have a super tall one at my house, too. My sister and I decorate it every year.

Well, I couldn’t bring it with me to the dorms, though. For one thing, it’d get in the way because of how big it is.

Hajime: Uwah, that’s so nice~♪ Tori-kun’s Christmas sounds so glamorous, I’m jealous.

Tori: Is it? I wouldn’t call it glamorous…

To be honest, I have the strong impression of Christmas as a hectic time and a hassle.

Aira: Huh? You do? Could it be that you hate Christmas, Himemiya-senpai?

Tori: Not at all. In fact, I love it. That’s why I said it’s a hassle, not that I hate it.

You see, not only do I have to decorate the tree, but I also have to hang up the Christmas lights at the house.

Decorating is a lot of fun, but tidying up later is a pain. Well, Yuzuru and the other servants take care of most of it, though.

Hajime: Hm~m. Certainly, when you consider how spacious Tori-kun’s home is…

Tori: Also, we always get invited to all these parties by our acquaintances, so I barely have any time to just relax at home. And last year, there was StarFes on top of that…

So, Christmas and New Year’s always tucker me out mentally and physically.

Sora: Hime-chan is so bourgeois~.

Aira: Wooow ☆ I’d expect nothing less from Himemiya-senpai! The things you talked about were so far removed from our realities, it’s really enviable, in a way~! Ra~vely ♪

Tori: Ah… Darn it. Mr Cameraman, please cut the part where I said that Christmas was a hassle!

If the public heard me say that, it’d sully my image for sure!

— Hey, what’s so funny, Anzu~. As producer, shouldn’t you have put a stop to that?

Image is a matter of life and death for us idols, after all.

Geez. Enough about me. Let’s keep going with the project, shall we?

Hajime: Ah, sounds good.

Umm, when it comes to Christmas, you can’t forget the cake*. In my family, I make it by hand every year, with the help of my little brother and sister.

Tori: Whoa, a cake baked by Hajime! I bet it’s super delicious!

Hajime: Fufu, thank you very much. How about I make one for you as well this year, Tori-kun? I can make it as healthy as possible, so Fushimi-senpai won’t get angry.

Tori: Yaaay! You mean it? It’s a promise, okay?

Aira: Shino-senpai’s homemade cake?!

Eh~... That sounds sooo good…

Sora: HaHa~! It’d be unfair if Hime-chan was the only one who got to eat it. Sora wants some, too~!

Hajime: In that case, why don’t we all eat cake together as members of the same unit ♪ I’ll make it the best cake I possibly can.

Aira: Yaaaaaay ♪ I’m sooo happy~!

(That’s a real idol’s handmade baking we’re talking about here!! I’ve got to be the only fan in the whole world who gets to eat that! ES rules~...!)

Sora: As for Sora, he’s always happiest about the presents from Santa~. The night before Christmas is the most exciting one of the whole year ♪

Sora also loves all the beautiful Christmas lights~. There are so many happy colors during Christmas that Sora is always on cloud nine this time of year!

Tori: What about you, Shiratori? Do you have anything that comes to mind when you think of Christmas?

Aira: Bwah? M-me?

(Speaking my mind in front of such god-like people makes me nervous… But, well, since he’s asking…)

Umm. The fabric mascots on Christmas trees and wreaths are cute, I guess~?

Mom-, I mean, my mother likes things like that.

She always uses them for decoration for Christmas, so like, I’ve gotten used to that… And I guess seeing them makes me feel like it’s really Christmas.

Also, she hangs up an Advent calendar for me when December starts.

Sora: Advent calendar?

Hajime: If memory serves right, that’s a calendar that counts down the days until Christmas, isn’t it?

Aira: Yes. There’s a sweet treat for every day inside, so I spend the time anxiously awaiting Christmas eating those.

Hajime: Shiratori-kun, your Christmas sounds really lovely, too~.

Aira: Huh? You think so? Ehehe ♪

(Shino-senpai praised me…! I’m sooo happy~)

Tori: Advent calendar… Preparations for Christmas…

Sora: Hrmm. We more or less have a plan, but it’s all over the place, huh~. How do we summarize all these ideas?

Aira: Now that you say it... I mean, they’re all things related to Christmas, but they really are all over the place… Rather than summarizing them, it might be a good idea to select a few of them and throw the rest out?

Hajime: Hmm. Right…

Tori: Alright, I’ve got it.

Hajime: What should we do, Tori-kun? Which ones should we choose?

Tori: Let’s do all of them!

Hajime: Eeh?

All of them…? Is that even possible?

Tori: Hmm, who knows? But I think we can, depending on how we go about it.

Okay, so listen. Yesterday, when I learned that we were in charge of this project, I came up with something...

——————

TL Note: While there are many kinds of cake that are eaten during Christmas around the world, many of them are dry fruit cake varieties. In Japan, the standard Christmas cake is a soft spongecake with whipped cream and strawberries, though.

Location: Meeting Room

Tori: Anzu~, everyone’s here now. So, can you start telling us about this job?

Hajime: What kind of job is it? I’m so excited, I just hope it’s nothing too difficult.

Tori: Fufun ♪ No matter what kind of job they’re throwing at us, we’ll be able to pull it off for sure!

We really lucked out with this group~, ‘cause we all get along already anyway!

I mean, sure, I was happy when I heard that I was chosen, but I was so worried about scary or weird guys being in the unit that I was super nervous when I checked the member list.

Anyway, you’ve got nothing to worry about, Anzu. We’ll make this job a huge success that goes off without a hitch!

Aira: Hm? Anzu-san, what are these printouts you just handed out to everyone?

...Aah, I see. It’s the project outline, huh.

Sora: Let’s see~, the job this time is…

— “Do something awesome”

Tori: What’s up with this outline! It’s like a grade schooler’s yearbook dream for the future! Give me back the motivation I wasted on this~!

No, actually, even a grade schooler would write something better!

Sora: HaHa~☆ But Sora liked it! Let’s all do something awesome together!

Tori: Don’t act so positive after being shown something like this~!

Aira: Umm… Those are really the only words on the printout…

What does this mean? Anzu-san? Like, you get that we can’t possibly know what to do with this, right…

Hm? The only things set in stone are the theme and that we’ll release a CD? And the theme is “The Fairies’ Christmas”?

Sora: Fairies! What a good theme! In Greek mythology, nymphs are the sprites of all things nature who are said to love singing and dancing~.

Sora can relate. He also loves singing and dancing~♪

Tori: Oh, so we were chosen because we’re all cute, like fairies! I guess the client has an eye for things like that ♪ I shall praise them this once.

Hajime: Umm? Ohh~, so the client for this is “Ensemble Square”? And they want us idols to take the lead on this project…

Aah, that explains why the outline only says “do something awesome”.

Aira: Normally, the client side sends a work offer, and based on the image they want, suitable idols or actors for the job are chosen, right?

But this time it’s not like that at all, and we get to think of something ourselves?

Tori: Hmm, I see. Huh? We’ll do the project itself, but it’ll also all be filmed and be shown on a special episode of “Industry Professionals” about idols?

Hajime: “Industry Professionals”! That’s a close coverage documentary about the work of all kinds of professionals, right?

Uwaah ♪ I love that show! Seeing the people on there work so earnestly at their jobs kind of makes me feel all motivated, too…

And like, it makes me remember why I wanted this career in the first place, which I sometimes tend to forget.

To think that I’d be on that show myself one day~! I can’t believe it!

Tori: Alright, got it. I have no objections to a project where the idols take the lead, and it seems doable enough.

But don’t you think they’re putting way too much on us here? Hard to believe the higher-ups authorized this.

Hm? What’s wrong, Anzu? Your expression is super hard to read.

Uh huh. Uh huh. ...Huh?

What?! Because the Producer Association is so swamped with end-of-the-year work, one of their producers made themself scarce?!

And that was the producer in charge of this shuffle unit project?

Aira: Other people tried taking over the project, but everyone has their hands full with other matters already so they rarely communicate, and there isn’t a lot of time left until Christmas…

And so, the project was quickly modified so now we idols are in charge of it — That’s, uh…

Tori: Hey now~, get whoever’s responsible for this in here right this second! Wait, you can’t, ‘cause they ran off!

Uu~! Then who am I supposed to take these pent-up feelings out on~!

Unyah? What are you apologizing for, Anzu?

Aren’t you also a victim in all this? Even I wouldn’t take out my anger on you instead of the person who has it coming.

Sora: HiHi~. Exactly. There’s no point in blaming Anzu.

All we need to do is think of something fun and exciting, right~? That way, everyone will be happy ♪

Aira: Anzu-san. There’s one thing I’m still wondering about: Since we are in charge of this project, does that mean we can do anything we want with it?

Uh huh. Ohh~♪ As long as it’s reasonable, you’ll authorize anything we want! Ra~vely ☆

Tori: I see… So we’re in complete control here…

Which means we can really put 100% — No, 150 or even 200% of our power into this!

Alri~ght! I’m suddenly super motivated again~!

Hajime: I agree. I’m quite nervous… But not in a bad way. I just need to use it as a source of encouragement, right?

Hm? What is it, Anzu-san? You want us to decide on a leader?

Aah, you’re right. It’s best to have a supervisor in charge. In that case, I nominate Tori-kun.

Tori: Eh, are you sure I’m cut out for it?

Hajime: Of course. You’re the vice president of the student council, and you’re well put together, so I think you’ll do great.

Sora: HuHu~☆ Sora is in favor! Hime-chan is a promising leader for sure~!

Aira: Of course, I have no objections either!

(To be working under the real Himemiya Tori of fine is nothing less than a dream come true~! Gosh, I’m gonna drool! Ai looove ♪)

Tori: I-is that so…? Ehehe ♪

Geez, well, if you guys insist~☆

But if I’m in charge, then I’ll lead you with a firm hand, got it? We’ll make this project a success, no matter what!

Location: Meeting Room

Tori: Excuse me~! Anzu, you in?

Ah, I knew it. You’re here early! Ehehe. We haven’t really gotten to see each other lately, have we? I’m super eager to do this job since it means that I finally get to work with you again, Anzu~.

I did hear the rumors about how hard you’ve been working~... But when I think about how all that hard work is for some other idols’ sakes, I get mixed feelings…

Actually, if only you’d become fine’s exclusive producer already. Then that problem would be solved, too.

Hajime: Tori-ku~n ♪

Sora: HaHa~☆ Hime-chan, hello!

Tori: Hajime, Harukawa, you were already here, too?

Yaaay ♪ It’s been so long since we’ve run into each other for work, how exciting! Well, we do regularly see each other at the dorms, though.

Sora: HiHi~, Sora feels the same way as Hime-chan! Seeing you in a work setting kinda feels new and fresh~!

Hajime: It’s fresh, but it also feels strange. After all, whenever we talk at the dorms, we end up chattering as friends rather than talking about work.

Tori: I know, right~. I do keep an eye on all of you guys’ activities, though!

Hajime, I watched that variety show you were in the other day, you did sooo well! You even managed to beat Mitsuru at water sumo*, even though he’s so nimble!

I was on the edge of my seat, and rooting for you the whole time ☆

Hajime: Ehehe. I did the best I could… ♪

My team ended up losing in the end, though… I’m so clumsy that I ended up holding Ibanyan back a ton.

But I’m so happy to hear that you were rooting for me, Tori-kun…♪

Tori: Standing on a platform on top of water looks easy enough, but it’s actually super hard to keep your balance, right~?

I had to do something similar as the promo for a show I was on, so I know what it’s like~. TV audiences have no idea how hard this stuff is!

Of course, I was paying attention to you as well, Harukawa! You’ve been giving it your all at both solo and unit jobs lately, haven’t you?

Sora: Yes! To be honest, Sora loves working with Shisho~ and Senpai, but…

There’s people who took a liking to Sora after seeing him working alone, so he’s receiving more solo work offers~.

Shisho~ and Senpai are both rooting for Sora, that’s why Sora gives his all working as part of Switch and at his solo jobs!

Tori: If you get stronger, you’ll be able to raise the strength of all of Switch as well, so that’s gotta be something, right?

You were so great in your role as the younger brother in that drama that’s currently airing~. The episode last week moved me to tears!

Sora: Ehem ♪ Sora pulled that off well because he was familiar with the other actors’ colors~!

Tori: Colors…? You mean their special characteristics, or something?

Sora: Hm~, that’s not quite it~. It’s just, Sora has seen that color before — No, nevermind, it’s too hard to explain.

Tori: Hmm. I don’t really get it, but it sounds amazing. So you’ve got talent as an actor, huh, Harukawa?

Hajime: Speaking of acting talent, don’t you have that too, Tori-kun?

I couldn’t come to the premiere because of work, but I went to see “Fist of the Shangri-la Idol” later on ♪

Sora: HuHu~☆ Sora saw it, too! It was super interesting~.

Hajime: It really was. Of course the story being good was one thing, but Tori-kun’s performance had this wondrous, androgynous charm to it.

I learned a lot from watching it.

Tori: Fufun ♪ Right, right? Feel free to praise me some more!

Hajime: Sure. Tori-kun, you’re always so cute, I really respect you a lot.

Tori: Ehehe~♪ Respect me as much as you like! We’re friends after all~☆

Hajime: Yaaay ♪ Thank you very much!

Akehoshi-senpai was outstanding in his role as the rival martial artist, too! I was deeply moved by his performance!

Akehoshi-senpai was so cool during the kung-fu scenes...♪ Isn’t it just amazing how he can do action scenes like that on top of everything else?

Tori: Huh? Is it just me, or are you praising that idiot from Trickstar way more than me? Am I reading too much into this?

Hajime: Eh? Of course not~. Both Akehoshi-senpai and Tori-kun were simply wonderful!

Tori: Ungh~! I can’t accept being put on the same level as Akehoshi-senpai~!

Hm? What’s wrong, Anzu?

Ah, you’re right. That’s enough catching up for now, we really should start talking about the job at hand already.

Hajime: Ehehe. I’m sorry, Anzu-san. It’s my fault for chitchatting so much.

Sora: HeHe~. Sora doesn’t mind talking about work, but aren’t we missing someone~?

Tori: Now that you say it… Umm? The last member is… Shiratori, right?

Location: ES Hallway

- Meanwhile -

Aira: ……… (Secretly peeking into the room)

(Ra~vely! Ravely, ravely, ravely, they’re waaay too ra~vely!)

(The view before my eyes is like a dream…! My beloved idols are happily moving around! And talking!)

(They’re so dazzling! So divine! I’m gonna go blind~! Am I in heaven? Or paradise? Maybe Shangri-la? I don’t care which it is, this is just so awesome~♪)

(Uwaahaah ♪ I’m so glad I stuck around here for 30 minutes just to watch this~! I’m so happy I could cry…)

(— Wait, no, I can’t!)

(If I cry now, my sight is gonna get so blurry that I won’t be able to see a thing.)

(Rather than cry, I should use this opportunity to sear each and every detail of this view into my memory…!)

(Get it together, braincells! Gotta raise my instant memorization ability to its maximum…!)

(*Staaare*...)

Tori (Offscreen): At any rate, that guy is late~... How dare he make me of all people wait~! The audacity! But something might’ve happened, maybe we should try contacting him on HoldHands?

Hajime (Offscreen): No need. There’s still 5 minutes to go until our agreed meeting time… How about we try to contact him if he hasn’t shown up by then?

Aira: (Eh?! Uwawah?! Crap…!)

(I’ve been on standby here for 30 minutes already, and now I’m still gonna cut it close!)

(I’m making everyone wait! Gotta enter the room, now…!)

(Umm, but I’m gonna knock first —)

E-excuse me~! I’m sorry I’m late…!

——————

* Google 水上相撲 for pictures of this variety show game. In most shows, it seems to consist of 2 people wrestling on a soft platform that’s floating on water.

TL Note: The chapter titles are all in French (despite the unit name being Branco which is Portuguese for "White"). This arc is named réveil which means "waking up" or "revival".

Location: Staff Canteen

- On a certain day at the end of November -

Hiiro: Hrm~m…

What a predicament. It may not be an overstatement to call this the crossroads of life itself.

Aira: Come ooon, Hiro-kun, are you still not done choosing? My empty stomach is killing me over here…

Besides, after all this ruminating you’re just gonna end up ordering omurice as always, right? There’s like, no reason to be so troubled about it.

Hiiro: Mph. You shouldn’t make light of me, Aira, for I’ve decided to order something different today! Which is exactly why I’m genuinely puzzling over this.

Aira: If ordering something besides omurice gives you that much grief, you could just, y’know, order omurice.

Hiiro: Umumu… Hm?

Aira, Aira. What is this “gapao rice”?

Judging from its name, it sounds like it might be a worthy rival to omurice.

Aira: Why do they have such an intricate relationship in your mind… You’re way off. Gapao rice is a Thai dish. It’s made of stir-fried ground meat and vegetables, mixed in with rice.

Hiiro: I see. I can’t really picture what that’s like, but it sounds like an intricate dish.

Aira: Not really. It’s pretty delicious, though. You gonna order it?

Hiiro: Will eating gapao rice make me as happy as eating omurice does?

Aira: Umm, I dunno? I think it’s a totally different dish than omurice, so I can’t tell if it’s gonna make you happy.

No, actually, what is up with your value system here? Like, you’re more concerned with happiness than taste?

Hiiro: Because look, omurice is incredible! It’s so fluffy and smooth and charming. Whenever I eat it, I truly feel happy!

Aira: If you like omurice that much then why don’t you just order it.

Hiiro: Hmm. But I already set my heart on ordering something other than omurice today…

What about this one, then? This dish by the name of “loco moco”?

The name makes me think of something plump and soft, something cute like Aira. Do you think eating that one will make me feel happy?

Aira: Did you just call me plump?! Are you saying I’ve gotten fat?!

You’re really so insensitive, Hiro-kun! And anyway, loco moco isn’t even soft, it’s more on the firm side!

Oh, but you might like loco moco. It’s a hamburger steak and salad with a fried egg on top of rice.

Hiiro: Hamburger steak! Yes, I do love that ♪ Then I’ll be having this one!

Aira: Phew~, finally… Alright, I’ll be placing our order now, okay?

Hiiro: Yes. Thank you, Aira.

Aira: Huh? I got a message from Anzu-san on HoldHands…? I wonder what it’s about.

Let’s see — Aah!

I was chosen?! Wait, am I on a hidden camera show or something?!

Hiiro: Aira, what’s the matter?

Aira: Hi-, Hiro-kun, look at this! This is an invitation to a Producer Association cross-agency project — in other words, a shuffle unit!

Those projects are like a dream to me, they’re idol collaborations that surpass agency affiliations! Hiro-kun, do you understand what a big deal this is?

Hiiro: Yes. I understand that you’re really excited, Aira.

Aira: You don’t get it at all! If you did, you couldn’t possibly stay this calm about it!

— Ah, wait, this isn’t the time to deal with this useless Hiro-kun!

Uwah~, I wonder who the other members are?

Just gonna take a quick peek…

Nopenopenopenope! It’s too scary, I don’t wanna look!

Hiiro: Aira, you’re scared?

Aira: Oh, I don’t mean it like, “I’m scared it’s gonna be people I hate” or anything like that.

I’d be over the moon no matter who it’s with, but the answer to it won’t be set in stone until I look, right?

So as long as I don’t look, I can hype myself up thinking about who it might be. It’s like, I wanna know… but it’d be a waste to find out.

Hiiro: Hrm~m. I don’t really get it…

Aira: Sheesh! It’s like that excitement before you open a booster pack of idol bromides, when you still don’t know who you’re gonna get!

It makes you feel so on edge you can hardly stand it, right? And that’s the same thing I’m feeling right now, got it?

Hiiro: Ooh. Got it! I know that feeling of yours well, Aira.

Aira: Right?! Finally I feel like you and I were able to relate to each other on an emotional level, Hiro-kun...♪

Hiiro: It’s like when you put up a hunting trap and you go see what got caught in it. Whether it’s gonna be a rabbit, or a fox… And you get excited, wondering if you may even have caught a deer or a boar ♪

Aira: I take it back! Hiro-kun and I are just completely incompatible after all! You’re talking about real life hunting here!

Don’t put that on the same level as stanning — Well, actually… Stanning is a kind of hunt too, in a way. Or maybe you could call it war? In any case! There’s just no romance to it in real life hunting!

Hiiro: You sure say some strange things sometimes, Aira. There’s tons of romance to hunting, you know? When we catch large prey like a deer, the whole village gets together to celebrate.

Aira: Please just shut up already, Hiro-kun.

Aargh… I wanna look! But I don’t wanna look~! What do I do, I’m so scared~!

Hiiro: Very well, Aira. If you’re too scared to look, then I’ll do it in your place.

Aira: Huh? W-wait—

Hiiro: Let’s see here. Aside from Aira, there’s — “Himemiya Tori”, “Shino Hajime” and “Harukawa Sora” listed here!

Aira: ~~~~~~! (Soundless shriek)

Location: Dorm Room (Yuzuru & Tori)

Yuzuru: “And so, the townspeople were able to enjoy a peaceful and happy Christmas together.”

“The fairies had a joyous Christmas too, singing and dancing together with the forest dwellers.”

“ — So the fairies turned to the forest dwellers and spoke:”

“Thank you all. We pray that next year’s Christmas will be a blessed one as well. And they lived happily ever after.”

Young Master, if I may...? What curious turn of events might this be, with you suddenly requesting me to read this picture book to you?

Naturally, it’s a butler’s duty to obey their master’s every whim, and so I did read it all the way to the end…

This chilly season makes one long for the warmth of others. For the Young Master to ask for such childish indulgences, could it be that you’ve undergone infantile regression at last? Aww~, there, there ♪

Tori: As if! And don’t pat my head~! Well, I actually kinda like to get headpats, but the way you went about it just now felt somehow insulting and that rubbed me the wrong way.

Yuzuru: I see. Then what was the reason for this request?

Tori: So, you know how we still haven’t finished unpacking our boxes from the move into the dorms yet?

Yuzuru: The Young Master’s boxes are the only ones that have yet to be unpacked, actually.

I have long finished unpacking and putting away my own belongings. The only one who has been putting this off with a variety of excuses is the Young Master.

And whenever I offer to put them away for you, you insist that you’ll do it yourself after all.

Nevertheless, I felt it necessary to unpack at least your daily necessities for you.

Which is the only reason why the Young Master can go about his day without inconvenience despite the fact that he has yet to finish the aftermath of his move-in to this very day.

Tori: Urgh… I mean, that may be so, but…

Geez, I really was too busy to take care of it myself until now. If I got started on it and only got halfway through, it’d just bother me even more. But I still wanted to take care of my own stuff myself.

But now I finally finished putting everything away, so there!

Yuzuru: Yet I cannot shake the feeling that this took you entirely too long.

Tori: Anyway! While I was opening boxes, I found this picture book Papa got for me. I loved this as a child!

And remember, Christmas is already coming up next month. That’s why I kinda felt like reading it, so I asked you to read it to me, Yuzuru.

Yuzuru: So that’s what happened…

If I may, Young Master… To tell you the truth, the Master has sent word…

Regarding this year’s Christmas, the Master and Madame —

Tori: I already know. Because of their work, Papa and Mama won’t be able to come home for Christmas this year, right?

Yuzuru: You took notice of that?

Tori: Yup. I figured it’d be weirder if they hadn’t contacted you about Christmas yet.

And since I never heard anything from you, it must’ve meant the news was something you didn’t know how to break to me.

Yuzuru: I see. Indeed, it is just as you say, Young Master. I truly was agonizing over how to tell you of this matter.

Tori: Well, no need to worry. I’m not a child anymore, you see. Of course it makes me feel lonely that I won’t get to see them, but I won’t throw a tantrum about it or anything. Besides, this year it’s my turn.

Yuzuru: The Young Master’s turn — for what exactly?

Tori: So far, I only ever awaited other people’s presents… But now I’m in a position where I can give the people around the world something back.

So that’s why, I won’t just be waiting this year. I’ll be fulfilling other people’s dreams, too!

That way I’ll get through to my papa and mama and little sis, right? ♪

Yuzuru: Young Master…

Indeed. I believe the Master and Madame and Young Lady will be tremendously surprised and overjoyed to see how much you’ve grown.

The same goes for me. Saying that these circumstances don’t make me feel lonely in the slightest would be a lie, but hearing this fills me with joy.

Tori: Ehehe ♪ I’ll give it my all.

Last year, a lot of stuff happened, and I was pretty down in the dumps*, but we managed to have a fun live show at the end of it all. Now I wonder what this year’s Christmas is gonna be like~?

Yuzuru: Undoubtedly, it’ll be the most fulfilling Christmas of them all — I am certain of it.

Because Santa will be there to deliver the finest of presents to all the good children.

——————

* Starlight Festival: Jingle Bells

Location: Saison Avenue

Rinne: Awright, first off, let’s hit up the pachinko parlor.

Why? ‘Cause we’re on a date, that’s why! And pachinko’s way more fun than just standin’ around forever.

...You can’t go ‘cause you’re a student? I see, I guess we can’t break school regulations.

Now let’s see, what’s a place I could bring Anzu-chan to —

Location: Arcade

Rinne: Gotta go with the arcade ♪ And they’ve got pachinko here, too.

With the settings on the machines here it’s pretty easy to win though, so it’s not that fun even if you hit it big.

...You’re givin’ that claw machine a real eager look, Anzu-chan. Ya want that teddy there?

Alright, leave it to me. I’ll get it for ya.

No really, it’s fine. I’m countin’ on you to be my goddess of victory, so just watch and smile for me.

Gotta aim carefully, and…

Rinne: Haha. Got it in a single try, it’s gotta be my lucky day!

There ya go. It’s a present for you, Anzu-chan...☆

Money? Nah, I don’t need that, this guy’s just a bonus anyhow.

Yep, he’s the bonus you get for playing a game where the goal is to grab the teddy. So just accept him, alright?

...Hmm. So you smile like that when you’re happy, huh, Anzu-chan?

You usually give off the vibe of a capable producer, but when you’re holding a teddy bear like that, you actually look your age for once.

Anyway, don’tcha think this machine’s a lil’ too easy? Feels like I could get as many of these as I like.

Kyahaha ☆ What a haul~♪ Here, you can have all of ‘em.

You can’t accept this many? ‘Kay, then I’ll just give these to Kohaku-chan as a souvenir.

...You’re callin’ me a good Onii-san? I know, right~! And yet, my buddies’ve got me pegged all wrong ♪

But y’know, that’s why they’re the only ones fit to be my partners.

If Crazy:B wasn’t exactly us four, then fate would’ve turned out much differently. We woulda broken up long ago, and by now, I’d be back in my hometown…

Don’t mind me. I’m not interested in unrealistic what-if scenarios like that. Talkin’ about ‘em is nothing but a waste of time.

...Hey, Anzu-chan. Why did you decide to make a personalized outfit for me of all people?

Even now, I’m still labeled a troublemaker by society at large. I’m an outcast at ES.

I get that every idol’s gonna get their own personalized outfit prepared for them. But as for mine, you could’ve just randomly tossed something together and called it a day, right?

If you just ordered me to, I’d wear any outfit no matter what it looked like. So there’s no need to confront me directly like this.

...As a producer, you want to show the world my attractive side?

Each and every idol at ES casts their own special light, and you want to bring out the unique radiance from every single one of them —

And showcase us at our best to the fans who support us, huh.

………

...Hm? Why so flustered all of a sudden?

Because you started talkin’ about work? ...Oh right, we had a bet goin’ about that, didn’t we.

This match ends in a draw for sure. I was also blabberin’ on about work, after all. So—

I’ll think of a design for my personalized outfit with you. That’ll be part two of our date, so let’s go!

You’ve got no reason to turn me down, right? Anzu-chan...♪

- Around two weeks later -

Location: Café “Cinnamon”

Rinne: Feast your eyes, Crazy:B! Ain’t my personalized outfit the fuckin’ sweetest? ♪

HiMERU: — Quit strutting up and down the café like it’s a catwalk. You’re being a nuisance, Amagi.

Kohaku: Don’t wear yer only good outfit to a restaurant in the first place. What if ya get it dirty?

Still, it suits ya well. It’s really oozin’ them good-for-nothing vibes...♪

That hexagon on yer back is striking, though. Is that s’pposed ta be a “beehive”?

Rinne: Could be? Anzu-chan probably put it there ‘cause I’m the man who carries Crazy:B on his back.

Kohaku: Even in jest I wouldn’t want ya to carry me on yer back, Rinne-han. I just know it’d lead to some kinda disaster.

HiMERU: Agreed. HiMERU can’t think of a back he’d want to rely on less than this one.

Niki: Rinne-kun seems super happy, though~. In the last idol era he didn’t get to wear anything but the clothes provided for us, after all.

So having an outfit for only his personal use must be particularly special for him.

I bet that beehive symbol was also one of Rinne-kun’s deman— ngyah?!

It hurts! Why are you putting me in a headlock!

Rinne: Who do ya think you are, Niki? Don’t say whatever the hell you like about me. Prepare yourself, ‘cause I’m gonna strangle ya for this one!

Niki: But you’re the same way, Rinne-kun! You tell people half-truths about me all the time~. Urgh, mercy, please! My head’s coming off~.

Rinne: According to the law, I can do as I like with you. Gyahaha ☆

...As soon as we’ve got personalized outfits for Kohaku-chan and Niki, too, let’s all wear ‘em and put on a show together.

We’ll show society what Crazy:B’s all about, and engrave our existences into the world. While singin’ and dancin’ and rioting, we’ll keep shoutin’ that out into the world.

Let’s prove to ‘em, with everything that we have, that the lives of outsiders like us have value, too! Gyahahahaha ☆

Location: Café “Cinnamon”

Rinne: Alrighty then, Niki! Choose your fate! This critical moment decides whether you live or die!

Niki: Hrmm~... I think I’m gonna go with… the left one…

Rinne: Are you sure? Absolutely super-duper sure?

Niki: No, wait, I get the feeling that I should be choosing the right one instead...!

Rinne: Now that’s an expression I like to see. Brood over it to your heart’s content, until ya go bald from worry!

Kohaku: What’re ya bein’ so dramatic fer, Rinne-han? It’s just a game of Old Maid.*

HiMERU: — And you’re competing over last place.

Rinne: Oh, shut it. Whether you’re at rock bottom or not is a difference like night and day!

Niki: ...Alright, I’m going with this one! There!

Ugyah?! The joker came back to me! And after I finally got Rinne-kun to draw it from me, too!

Rinne: Gyahahaha ☆ The old maid loves you so much, I’m gettin’ jealous over here!

Niki: You don’t mean that in the slightest. Sigh… Aaand I’m back to square one, how unlucky.

Rinne: Hehe. As long as I don’t draw the old maid now, I’m gonna get my happy end~.

The time has come for you to pay your dues, huh, Niki? As promised, if you lose, you’re gonna be handin’ over your wallet ♪

Niki: Funny, because I don’t remember making any promise of the sort! I’m not giving you my wallet, come hell or high water!

Rinne: ...Hm, who’s that tappin’ my shoulder? Kohaku-chan?

I ain’t no grandpa, so there’s no need to give me a shoulder massag—

...Oh wow, what happened? I took my eyes off of you for just a moment, and you’ve gotten cuter than ever. In fact you almost look like Anzu-chan.

Kohaku: Moron. That ain’t me, it’s Anzu-han in the flesh.

Rinne: I know, I was just goofin’!

What’s up, Anzu-chan? Ya wanna play with me?

Sure thing! Let’s kick Niki’s ass together ♪

...You’re here to talk about work? Oh, so you’re gonna make me a personalized outfit?

Hell yeah! Make it the perfect fit for me, will ya ♪

Niki: Ohh, so it’s Rinne-kun’s turn now~. ...Do you need the rest of us for anything?

Hmhm, I see. So you want us to tell you more about Rinne-kun, so that you can make an outfit that suits him.

HiMERU: — In HiMERU’s case she had to end up snooping around a little bit, so she came to ask openly this time, hm? That’s an admirable way of thinking.

Kohaku: “If we had to summarize Rinne-han in one word”, huh? Let’s see…

Good-for-nothing.

Niki: Scum.

HiMERU: Leader.

Niki: “Leader”, huh? HiMERU-kun, you actually value Rinne-kun quite a lot, don’t you?

HiMERU: HiMERU was merely stating the facts as they are on paper. There were no personal feelings involved in that statement whatsoever.

Rinne: You guys really don’t pull your punches, huh? Rinne-kun’s gonna cry~.

Anzu-chan may be swiftly takin’ notes of all that, but it’s not gonna be any help. A personalized outfit based on the motifs of a good-for-nothing and scum, now that’s just too much!

Kohaku: Ko ko ko. When ya think of a leader who’s a scummy good-for-nothing, there’s definitely a hoodlum comin’ to mind there.

Niki: Sounds good~. If you make that for real, it’ll definitely be a personalized outfit no one but Rinne-kun can pull off ♪

Rinne: Niki you lil’ shit, you’re gettin’ cocky. If this is how it’s gonna be, ya leave me no choice: I’ll get Anzu-chan to change your personalized outfit into a super freaky get-up.

Hey Anzu-chan, how about we put cooking gear all over his body? Like kitchen knives and vegetable slicers…

Hmm? You’d rather talk about my personalized outfit right now?

...You wanna know what kinda outfit I want? I told ya I want something that suits me perfectly, didn’t I?

Oh, I get it. You still dunno me that well, so you have no idea what suits me and what doesn’t. Hmm…

...You’re really dyin’ to get to know me, huh? Honestly, the way you’re lookin’ at me with that passionate gaze is makin’ me blush ♪

If you’re that interested in me, why don’t you marry me? That way you’ll get in touch with my appeal to your heart’s content~.

HiMERU: An idol shouldn’t speak of “marriage” so lightly.

Niki: Yeah. And it’s not like Anzu Nee-san’s looking at you because she likes you, Rinne-kun.

Kohaku: An’ in the first place, you’re skippin’ over a whole buncha steps that come before marriage here. There’s a protocol for this kinda thing, got it?

Rinne: A protocol, huh… If it’s too early for marriage, then I guess we’ll start by bein’ friends for now.

Awright, then let’s go on a date. When it comes to gettin’ closer, nothing beats a date ☆

Location: Saison Avenue

Rinne: This seems like the right place for a date spot ♪ There’s tons of couples around.

From an outsider’s perspective, we must look like a real couple, too! Kyahaha ☆

...What’s the matter, Anzu-chan? You can’t go on a date with an idol, you say?

Just think of this as work then, Producer. Consider it an investigation for the sake of my personalized outfit.

...Alriiight! Then let’s make a bet.

The rules are exceedingly simple. For the duration of our date, talkin’ about work is strictly forbidden. The first one to break this rule loses. If you win, Anzu-chan, then I’ll cooperate with you in creating my personalized outfit.

...You wanna know what happens when you lose? Don’tcha know that ya can’t win a match if you’ve got losing on your mind?

Think about nothing but winning, and try your hardest. Got that?

Alrighty, match: start! Try and make me lose, Anzu-chan...♪

--------------------

TL Note: Old Maid works in a way where you win if you get rid of all the cards in your hand by pairing off two of the same type (two Queens, two 10s, etc), and the loser is the one who ends up with the old maid which can’t be discarded (this is usually the joker). In this situation, Rinne holds the joker and a regular card, and Niki has to choose which one to draw from him.

Location: Dorm Room (Tetora, HiMERU, Arashi)

Tetora: I’m home~☆

Arashi: Aah, Tetora-kun. Welcome back ♪

Tetora: Uwoah!?

Arashi: Oh no, I’m so sorry for scaring you. I forgot I was in the middle of doing a facial.

I only just put this mask on a moment ago, so do you mind if I keep it on a little longer?

Tetora: It’s cool, please don’t worry about me. Actually, I’m the one who’s sorry for freaking out like that.

Arashi: Oh, it’s no problem. Anyone would be surprised to suddenly come face to face with that.

I usually do my facial masks before bed, but I just got my hands on a brand new one, so I just had to try it out right away!

Wonder if it’ll really make my skin “super soft and elastic” like it says on the box...♪

Tetora: “Super soft and elastic”, huh… Narukami-senpai, it’s amazing how you always put so much care into your beauty regimen.

I know that, as an idol, I should be doing more for my grooming. But it’s such a pain that I always end up just doing a facial cleanser and then calling it a day.

Arashi: And yet, your skin is really smooth and beautiful, Tetora-kun. Makes me jealous! But it could be even more beautiful if you tended to it, you know?

Tetora: Even more beautiful? For real?

Arashi: But of course. Won’t you humor me and try it out?

Tetora: Hmm~... I am curious to find out how much of a change it really makes. I guess if it’s just a little bit, I do wanna give it a shot.

Arashi: Ufufu. Let’s both become beautiful together ♪

Well then, I’m going to set everything up. But first, let me take off my facial mask… Okay.

Face cream, hand cream, and of course, body cream, too...♪

Tetora: There are this many different types of just creams?

Arashi: Yup. And of course, I have several different ones of each type too. Which one would you like, Tetora-kun?

Tetora: I wouldn’t even know where to start choosing one… Can I leave that up to you, Narukami-senpai?

Arashi: Wow, I get to choose? I’m just itching to put my skills to use ♪

Alright... then how about we go with this brand for the face cream?

Tetora: Oh, I like that refreshing lemon scent~... Yeah, I’m gonna use this one ♪

So do I just smear it on my face? Or is there more to it?

Arashi: Of course there is. First we start with a toner, then some beauty serum, and finally, milky lotion. After that, it’s time for the face cream.

Tetora: I have to plaster all of that on my face!?

Toner, beauty serum, and then… Uhm, I can’t remember what comes next.

Arashi: Remembering all those different karate stances seems way more difficult to me.

But no worries, I’ll just apply them for you.

First comes toner. I’m putting some of it on my palm, and then I’ll rub both hands together like this to warm it up.

After that, I use both my hands to spread it over your entire face. Going from the middle to the sides, nice and evenly...♪

Tetora: Ooh… This feels nice, like a massage. I’m in heaven...♪

Arashi: Ufufu. Same here, your smooth skin feels sooo good ♪

Even from up close, your skin looks totally poreless. Really, I wish I was that lucky~.

Tetora: You do? I think you’re already plenty beautiful the way you are, Narukami-senpai.

In fact, I’m sure you’re way more beautiful than I am. I mean, you put all this effort into your beauty regimen and all.

Arashi: Oh Tetora-kun, you little charmer...♪

HiMERU: — HiMERU is home.

Arashi: Oh my, welcome home, HiMERU-chan.

Tetora: Hey there~.

HiMERU: ………

Tetora: Woah, wait! Our eyes met, so please don’t ignore us and say something!

It’s not like we’re doing anything questionable, but now I suddenly feel like running away!

HiMERU: This is the first time HiMERU encountered a situation such as this, you see. He didn’t want to cause any trouble, so he decided not to interfere.

However, the cosmetics over there did rouse HiMERU’s interest. Narukami-san, are these your personal belongings?

Arashi: Yup. HiMERU-chan, could it be that you’re also someone who’s hooked on beauty regimens?

HiMERU: You could say that. As an idol, it’s important to care about one’s appearance.

Oh...? This brand is a food company, but they also released a line of cosmetics?

Arashi: Yup! They only recently entered that market, but they already have a wide variety of them, and they’re so popular on social media.

What products do you use, HiMERU-chan? Would you mind showing me?

HiMERU: HiMERU doesn’t mind. Here you go.

Tetora: Ohh. They’re totally different from the ones Narukami-senpai has, huh? And they all seem like they’re brand items that cost a fortune.

HiMERU: It depends on the cosmetics, but some of them are affordable. For example, this body scrub is something within a high schooler’s price range.

Arashi: Oh, what a nice honey fragrance ♪ Perhaps I should buy one for myself?

Tetora: Uu~... That smell made me hungry. I’m gonna head to the kitchen and get myself something to eat.

Arashi: Not so fast. Eating within three hours before bedtime is strictly forbidden!

Tetora: No waaay… But then I won’t be able to sleep because of how hungry I am! And a lack of sleep is bad for your skin, too.

Arashi: You have a point…

Then how about you drink some caffeine-free tea? That would help your empty stomach.

HiMERU-chan, how about you? I’ll prepare a tea with beautifying effects for all of us.

HiMERU: HiMERU will join you. He’s sure that the teas Narukami-san knows are very good.

Arashi: Ufufu, then it’s decided. Let’s all go to the kitchen together...♪

Location: Hot Limit Stage

Niki: Nah, you’re exaggerating… You say that you owe me your life or whatever, but all I did was feed you some nikujaga, right?

Rinne: But that was the last food ya had to preserve your own life, yeah? Givin’ me that was the same as givin’ me your very own life.

My debt to you is just the same as the one I owe my own mother for bringin’ me into this world.

Niki: So now I’m your mama, huh. Sons who steal money from their mamas wallets deserve to get disowned, y’know? Even if it’s among family members, it’s still a crime.

Rinne: Aah? But I always put it back doubled, don’t I?

Just like what I’m doing now. In order to get Niki, who doesn’t really have any interest in idol stuff, to do this job… I cleared up his troubles to compensate for it.

I changed the locations of several similar contests that were planned to take place nationwide, including that confectionary contest he was supposed to enter...

And made them all take place right here in the Specialized Music Ward, as a special program of Hot Limit.

Kohaku: Aah, so they’re holding confectionary contests an’ such in this location. Now that explains why I’ve been smellin’ the sweet scents of honey an’ the like in the air here an’ there.

Rinne: Yep. I’m makin’ Niki appear in all of those contests, dominating ‘em one by one, while also singin’ and dancin’ on stage in between.

By the way, the crucial factor here is that his name as a contest entrant is always just given as “Cinnamon Representative”.

Niki: Yup. And I put on a mask, changed my hairstyle, and put on a disguise in order to hide my lineage…

So when I show up on stage at the same time, exposing my actual face while singing and dancing, what do you think’s gonna happen?

Certainly, Shiina Niki was right here in the location where the confectionary contest takes place.

But he was here as part of Crazy:B, and he was singing and dancing as an idol — there’s no way he could’ve had the time to appear in contests simultaneously.

That’s what people would usually think. And the livelier I appear here on stage, the stronger this notion will get.

In other words, we created an alibi for me. We made everyone think that I didn’t participate in the contests.

HiMERU: It’s almost like we’re in a mystery novel. Going to such intricate lengths for this; do you really want to hide the truth that a Shiina is back in the public culinary world that badly?

Going so far as to fake an alibi — surely, he didn’t commit a murder?

Niki: ...Well, at this point there may not even be anyone around who still remembers my dad.

But I guess this habit has been imprinted on me ever since my early childhood, so it’s become an instinct to me that I can’t defy.

I do think it’s a bad habit, but I don’t have the emotional or physical strength to do anything about it.

Rinne: Only up to this point. It was impossible for me to do it by myself.

But, well, we’ve got Merumeru and Kohaku-chan with us now — if we keep workin’ on it without throwin’ the towel, it might remedy slowly over time.

And in that sense. I implore you, HiMERU, Oukawa Kohaku… Please lend us your help.

HiMERU: — A bit late to ask that, don’t you think?

Kohaku: Yeah. We became yer accomplices a long time ago; we can’t break our ties with you at this point no matter how much we may hate it. But if you feel guilty about that —

HiMERU: Then give us benefits that offset the trouble you cause us. It only makes sense. Isn’t that right, Oukawa?

Kohaku: Yup. We’re gonna make ya entertain us lots an’ lots, now an’ in the future, as Crazy:B ♪

Kohaku & HiMERU: “♪ ~ ♪ ~ ♪“

Niki: ...Hearing that made me kinda happy.

Rinne: Aahn?

Niki: Up until now, we always held out together, just the two of us. But that’s in the past, because now we have trusted friends close to us.

Rinne: Haha. You only just noticed? I already realized this around the time of MDM ♪

Niki: Then you’re barely any different from me, Rinne-kun. It’s all the same summer’s affair~. A summer I’ll never forget about — for the rest of my life.

Aah, this is bad. I feel like my stomach’s gonna be full.

My motivation for cooking is getting lower and lower~, even though I still have to win a whole bunch of contests after this.

Rinne: Gyahaha. You’ll do fine, Niki. You’ve always gotten hungry again soon after, right? That’s exactly why you’re always puttin’ me through all these hardships ♪

Rinne & Niki: “♪ ~ ♪ ~ ♪”

Location: Shiina Residence, 4 years ago

Niki: Munch, munch, much. Chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp. Chew chew, gulp —

Rinne: I owe you a great debt. You’ve saved my life. Let me ask you once again — What can I do in order to repay this debt of gratitude?

Niki: Munch, munch, munch.

Rinne: Despite how I look, I was actually a bit of an influential figure in my hometown. I’m capable of doing a lot more than an ordinary citizen.

...What do you want? Land? Money? Honor?

Niki: Mmh~... Nah, I’m good. You brought me a whole lot of food to eat, so that’s already enough for me.

Please don’t make such a big deal out of this~, all I did was make some nikujaga for you.

Rinne: No, I can’t accept that. And if I can’t accept something, that means it’s not right.

Niki: Eh~... This guy is such a pain. Did I pick up something troublesome...?

Rinne: You’d better make your peace with that. I think this is fate, too — No, I’m sure of it.

Niki: Aah, gotcha. If it’s fate, then there’s nothing we can do about it, huh. Munch, munch.

Rinne: Listen to what I’m saying in earnest. I’m being serious here, I have to return this favor to you, no matter what.

In order to repay your good will, I would like to grant you your deepest wish.

Niki: Eh~? When you ask me about that out of nowhere I don’t really know what to tell you.

Umm… Well, the one thing I always find myself wanting is “to have a full stomach”, I guess.

Rinne: Hmm. So the food I extorted isn’t enough, huh.

Niki: Wait, did you just say “extorted”? Wh-, you didn’t steal this, did you!?

Rinne: — Understood. Hmhm, so you want a full stomach. I will grant that wish for you, I swear that on the gods of heaven and earth.

I promise it. Shiina Niki, I will repay this life debt to you, no matter what it takes.

Niki: Before you do that, I’d like you to explain to me where on earth you got all this food from~!

If these are stolen goods, that probably makes me guilty of some kinda crime as well for eating them, doesn’t it?

Ahh, I’m so sorry, mom and dad! It seems like your son ended up becoming a criminal as well~!?

So I’m really going to hell after all~, my whole life’s future is looking pitch black!

Location: Hot Limit Stage

Niki: I’m baaack~... ☆

Kohaku: Pete’s sake, ya gave me start! Oh, it’s you, Niki-han. When ya say yer back, d’ya mean ya went somewhere?

HiMERU: — From HiMERU’s observations, it appears Shiina periodically vacated the stage and returned a number of times.

After leaving the stage, he would go in and out of various booths on the event grounds, where he must’ve been doing something or other.

It’s difficult to see the area from this vantage point due to the crowd of people in the way, so HiMERU cannot even guess what his reasons for this bizarre behaviour are.

Niki: Could you not call it bizarre behaviour!?

Sheesh — is it just me or have you guys been getting sharper tongues lately, HiMERU-kun and Kohaku-chan? This is definitely all because of Rinne-kun’s bad influence on you!

Rinne: Aah? And who gave you permission to badmouth me, huh? Real impertinent comin’ from you of all people, Niki!

Niki: Oh, Rinne-kun, there you are! What’re you doing over in that corner when you of all people are usually such an attention seeker!

Well, let’s put that aside — Thank you soooo much! This is all thanks to you, Rinne-kun! I can’t thank you enough! I love you, I love you soooo much! Hey, can I kiss you!?

Rinne: No, that’s gonna have to wait ‘til after we’re married.

Niki: I don’t have the slightest intention to marry you, though!

Um, then what am I supposed to do here? How can I express this gratitude I’m feeling!?

Kohaku: Will ya settle down for a minute, Niki-han. What’s gotten inta ya, did someone give ya some kinda weird drug or what?

HiMERU: Or did the summer heat finally get to your head?

Niki: Nope! I’m just super duper happy and overjoyed! Why, did I say something strange!?

Kohaku: Well, it’s fine to be straightforward with yer feelings, but I got a bit uneasy seein’ ya suddenly treat Rinne-han all warmly.

HiMERU: Indeed. We were merely concerned for you, as we feared he may have some dirt on you or something of the sort.

Rinne: You guys are harsh, man…

Niki’s shit at explanations, so I’ll summarize things in his place. What he’s trying to say is that Hot Limit is the best project he could’ve asked for.

Kohaku: In other words?

Niki: Umm. It’s a bit late for me to say this, but to tell the truth, I’ve been super busy with my work as a cook lately.

Kohaku: Eh, fer real? But weren’t ya foolin’ around with us an’ carefreely goin’ about your part-time job this whole time…?

Niki: Yep, in fact this matter is related to that part-time job… So, I was supposed to appear in some kinda national confectionary contest as the representative for ES, or rather, Café Cinnamon.

By accomplishing something in that contest, ES would also gain fame on account of housing Cinnamon.

HiMERU: — Hmm. That seems to be a common occurrence lately. Valkyrie was apparently also ordered to win the championship trophy at that JNLC event.

Kohaku: All in all, ES has only been formed this year, so it’s a force on the rise after all.

Reckon they’re tryna demonstrate their presence an’ strength to the world by acquirin’ all existin’ awards an’ titles in a sweepin’ victory.

Rinne: I’ll bet. The sense of scale is on a whole ‘nother level, but the concept’s similar to when we were tryna form a link with Anzu-chan.

It was about establishin’ a bond to public lawfulness, to someone who has value — in other words, to gain connections.

Connections and money are what makes the world of adults go ‘round, so we’re gonna need those. For humans and organizations alike, it’s the end of the rope when they’re out of friends.

Niki: Yeah. But for various reasons I didn’t want my face and name to get out into the public culinary world. Just… a bunch of stuff happened regarding my dad, y’see.

Kohaku: What d’ya mean, “public culinary world”? Is there also an underground culinary world, or what?

Niki: Fufu. You guys only care about idol stuff so you don’t know this, but there’s more to the culinary world than one might think.

It’s a complicated and mysterious pandemonium. The history of food stretches back to the dawn of humanity’s history itself, y’know?

Kohaku: When ya put it like that it’s mighty persuasive. Well, I reckon song an’ dance have just as long of a history goin’ on. The history of idols is just an extension of that.

HiMERU: — HiMERU believes there’s also a relation to “religion”. In the case of idols, that is.

Niki: Anyway. Because of that, I was kinda at a loss for what to do…

If I entered something like a confectionary contest my lineage might get exposed — which, if anything, would actually become an inconvenience for the store and ES as a whole.

But when someone asks me a favor related to food, I’m the type who just can’t say no…

So I felt like I had no choice but to enter the contest, and figured if I refused to enter it I might really get fired from my part-time job this time around —

But also, I do love making sweets, and under the pretext of sampling their entries I might also get to eat a bunch of sweets the other contestants made…

While I’ve been worrying about what to do, my thoughts have been going in circles like that over and over lately.

Kohaku: Hmmm. You really didn’t look like you were worrying about anythin’ in the slightest to me.

HiMERU: Same here. You seemed like the same Shiina as always.

Niki: Well, making a gloomy face won’t get me anywhere, right? Whatever happens, happens~. Getting all depressed about it would just make me all hungry!

If you’re gonna be all troubled, your time’s better spent looking for edible herbs and the like! Nahaha ♪

Rinne: ...And that’s the kinda guy he is, which is exactly why being with him is such a pain.

You’ll glance at him and think it’s the same ol’ stupid, lively Niki as ever, but then he’ll just collapse in a heap outta nowhere ‘cause he hit his limit.

When you’re strugglin’, tell us that you’re struggling. When you’re worryin’ over something, come and ask us for advice. You’re way too hard to understand, sheesh.

Niki: Nahaha ♪ But I can’t become like my dad and be an inconvenience to the people around me —

‘Cause with my constitution it’s already a win in my book that I’m still alive at all.

I can’t hope for anything more than that. Just getting to eat every day is already bliss to me~ I need to be satisfied with just that.

Rinne: ...There you have it, that’s the curse this guy is under.

No matter how many times I tell him that he’s not inconveniencin’ me, no matter how much I try to convince him that he’s worth as much as other people if not more, it’s no use at all.

I tried all kinds of things, y’know…

I tried explainin’ how it’d be okay for him to cause trouble for me if he married me and we became family, I tried raisin’ his self-esteem by makin’ him a popular idol…

In my own way, as a country bumpkin who was completely ignorant in the ways of the modern world, I really tried everything I possibly could…

But, well, it seems like this curse is rooted real deep, so my only choice is to unravel it bit by bit.

I owe this guy my life. That’s why I’ll grant his wish and make him happy.

And I don’t give a shit if God himself prohibits that, ‘cause I’ll turn even fate on its head if I have to.

Location: Hot Limit Stage

- Nearly an hour later -

HiMERU: “♪ ~ ♪ ~ ♪”

(Now then. The theme of Anzu-san’s newly created project, Hot Limit, is “beating the summer heat”.)

(Meeting up with friends you get along with and making merry with them in the middle of the persistently lingering late summer heat—)

(A stupid, or rather, frivolous project to make people forget about the hotness of the summer and go wild.)

(Chicken nuggets from a fast food store… Fufufu ♪ Well, isn’t that just perfectly fitting for us Crazy:B?)

(Anyway. Amagi didn’t hog this project just for us. He pushed for us to play the leading part, to be the focus of the project, but—)

(After quickly putting together a designated “Specialized Music Ward” on the event grounds, they also gathered a number of professional and amateur musicians here.)

(The majority of them are outcasts we established a connection with at Beehive, or rather, they’re medium-rank and lower level idols who have yet to hit it big.)

(By paying either a small performance fee of either L$ or regular yen, they gained the right to perform on this stage.)

(The people from Beehive in particular haven’t gotten involved with the ES mainstream, and the ones who did are ranked among the lowest there, but — )

(By performing here at Hot Limit, they can merge with that mainstream.)

(That’s because performing here will give them the track record of having worked together with Anzu-san, who's producing the main event, and will establish a connection with her.)

(With that track record as their support, the people from the Specialized Music Ward and Beehive will rise in influence at ES.)

(Track records and precedents serve as extraordinarily effective weapons in adult society, after all.)

(Needless to say, the people from Beehive and such will now feel that they owe us Crazy:B a debt of gratitude for having awarded them such a weapon.)

(If this project becomes a success, the people from the Specialized Music Ward will benefit from it as well, so they’ll surely welcome our existence.)

(Such kindness, admiration, and affirmation are exceedingly hard to come by for people who are as universally despised as we are.)

(Rather than only monopolizing the benefits for ourselves, we involved others, and in doing so, dramatically increased the benefits as a whole—)

(And the more we liven up Hot Limit, the more our benefits will skyrocket further.)

(In pachinko terms you might say we hit the jackpot* — It’s a much more profitable development for us than merely getting the summer festival crowd pulling job would’ve been.)

(Fufu. What a worthless “great detective” I am*2, time and time again only realizing, “oh, so that’s how it was” while reexamining everything in hindsight.)

(Looking at the big picture, while you’re feigning that you’re just aimlessly flying all over the place — you’re actually aiming your stinger exactly where it counts.)

(But now that I’ve*2 more or less grasped your method, I believe I’ll be able to cooperate with you more deliberately next time around, Amagi.)

(It’s not HiMERU’s style to endlessly rely on the protection of adults and be hand-fed by them.)

“♪ ~ ♪ ~ ♪”

Kohaku: “~......♪”

(Fufu. Seems like HiMERU-han reached the same conclusion I did. We get manipulated by Rinne-han every single time, ‘cause his explanations are always lackin’…)

(But that’s ‘cause he wants us ta think fer ourselves, right?)

(I get it — an’ thanks to you, I feel like I’ve gotten a lot smarter compared to how I was back when I had just escaped my zashikirou*3.)

(I can see the big picture. I can fly around as much as I want, in this wide world.)

(Rinne-han of all people would never deny me this.)

(He acts needlessly arrogant an’ dictatorial, but that’s just on the surface — deep down, he always respects our opinions.)

(That must've also been why he got outta the room for a sec durin' that briefing session an' left things ta me an' HiMERU-han.)

(He could’ve just advanced things on his own, but he went outta his way ta get us from the café where we were just grumblin’ over our cups.)

(So that’s what he did all that for.)

(If he’d been there, he woulda been the only one talkin’. So instead, he went an’ gave us a chance t’assert ourselves ta Anzu-han.)

(An’ based on our opinions we shared back then, Anzu-han settled on an outline fer Hot Limit.)

(In the smack middle of the Specialized Music Ward that’s bustlin’ with people, I’m flyin’ around an’ enjoyin’ myself more than anyone — an’ you were the one who granted me this brightly shinin’ “public identity”*4)

(I’m grateful fer that. Thanks to you, I can see the Sun better than ever.)

(Anzu-han an’ Rinne-han both will never deny us what we wanna do.)

(This also goes fer the other folks who’re performin’ here — the local musicians in the Specialized Music Ward, an’ the idol wannabes who made the Beehive their hangout spot.)

(They’re goin’ whole hog doin’ what they wanna do.)

(Without bein’ forced inta the “correct” ES style against their will, that is.)

(An’ I dunno if it’s ‘cause they’re attracted to the freedom in this place or what, but the no-name newcomers from the briefing session also came ta participate in Hot Limit.)

(They probably heard what we were plannin’ an’ reckoned it seemed mighty interesting.)

(Even the fellas from Ryuseitai who ended up gettin’ the crowd pullin’ job, who seemed so stiff an’ unsociable during the briefing session — they’re flyin’ about freely here now.)

(Fellas, didn’t ya challenge us to a duel before ‘cause we ruffled yer feathers so much?)

(Didja come here ta stake out the enemy, but once ya mingled with the crowd ya ended up havin’ a good ol’ time after all?)

(Yer so young… Still, this is fine. Kids — youngsters like you fellas should just get caught up in the mood of the place an’ frolic as ya like.)

(We Oukawas exist ta protect the peaceful, ordinary days of carefree folks like you.)

(Well, while the Sun’s still high up in the sky like this I’m the same as you fellas, just a singular bug frolicking merrily.)

(I’m gonna have my fun flyin’ all over this open stage as part of Crazy:B! An’ I won’t let anyone complain about it!)

“♪ ~ ♪ ~ ♪”

———————

* I localized this to simply “jackpot”, but for those who care, HiMERU refers to “kakuhen” here, which is a pachinko payout system in which additional jackpots multiply rapidly after the first jackpot has been hit. Rinne also referred to kakuhen in the first chapter of Honey Bee.

*2 It’s worth noting that HiMERU phrased these sentences entirely without using a pronoun (which he often does), so he didn’t drop “HiMERU” or “ore” in any of this, and it’s impossible to tell which he refers to. Personally, these struck me as very personal insights, so I opted for “I”.

*3 Mentioned before in A Dark Night’s Passing: A zashikirou is a room from the Edo-period, built for the solitary confinement of criminals and lunatics.

*4 Picking up on a theme that’s used excessively in A Dark Night’s Passing, Kohaku refers this this side of his as his 表の顔 (lit. surface face, ie. face he shows in public) as opposed to 裏 (undersurface, opposite side) which he often uses in relation to his unsavoury activities in Double Face.

Location: Hot Limit Stage

HiMERU: — Well, this matter was entrusted with Ryuseitai in the first place, anyhow.

They seemed enthusiastic about it too, and above all, they’re an excellent fit for a strait-laced job like this.

Even though they were afraid themselves, they tried to protect Anzu-san when Amagi threatened her.

So. They slammed down a written challenge addressed to us, to find out who’s the most suited for this job. Not through violence, but through an on-stage match — a DreamFes.

Rinne: Well, we turned down the challenge, though. For one thing, it would’ve been a pain in the ass.

Also, those guys are young, so they can’t see the big picture here, but summer would’ve ended in a flash if we wasted our time on that kinda shit.

At this rate, the time for summer festivals that require crowd pullers was gonna be over before we got anywhere. It’s what they call “puttin’ the cart before the horse”.

‘Sides, if we really did go head to head with them in a DreamFes, we’d wipe the floor with ‘em for sure, right?

Niki: ? Would it have been a problem if we won? In that case, we’d be the ones who get to take on that job, right? I don’t see the downside.

Kohaku: Well, there’s a number of problems with it, really.

First of all, they’d be completely outclassed. Even if they’re just nameless newcomers to Ryuseitai, if we were to beat ‘em black an’ blue—

The wounds that were on the verge of closin’ up durin’ MDM would be reopened, an’ the whole issue from back then would get revived. Worst case scenario, it’d turn into a dispute between Ryuseitai an’ Crazy:B — a meaningless war.

An’ since we already know each other’s tactics, it’d turn into an even dirtier fight this time around, with no way out.

It'd be best if we preserved the current ceasefire that was brought on by resolvin' things through a coercive measure like the “Justice Beam”*

Rinne: Exactly. We went through all that trouble of wrappin’ things up in an easy-to-understand way, so there’s no point in stirrin’ the pot now.

Endin’ up in a brawl with Ryuseitai over a scramble for a small-time job like this won’t gain us anything, and it wouldn’t be any fun, either.

And anyway, no one wants to see a story where the superheroes keep gettin’ their asses kicked as they lose against the villains over and over again, right?

It’s the job of an idol to show the people what they wanna see. To say it in a way that Niki will understand, it’s the job of a cook to make the food the customers wanna eat.

Niki: Ah, I suddenly understand everything!

Kohaku: Are you fer real…

Niki: Yeah. You guys should’ve just explained it using cooking metaphors from the start. Now I get it~... So that’s why we’re standing on this stage right now, huh.

So that was the situation in the briefing session the other day.

They were asking who was gonna prepare the ordered orthodox Japanese-style full course meal, and we, a fast food store that makes chicken nuggets and the like, raided the place.

So it didn’t matter how much we emphasized how tasty chicken nuggets are and how they’re totally gonna fly off the shelves, because the order was for a Japanese-style meal.

Rinne: Yep. And sure, we coulda prepared our chicken nuggets Japanese-style and it would’ve satisfied the client, but…

It would’ve been a ton of work for no reason, and our intention wasn’t to snatch that specific job to begin with.

Niki: Yeah, you did say from the start that our goal was to establish a connection with Anzu Nee-san.

Even if we spent an eternity explaining just how wonderful chicken nuggets are, the chance that we were gonna get a job of making Japanese-style cuisine was still almost nil.

But it did inform Anzu Nee-san of the existence and appeal of chicken nuggets.

And for a busy big-time producer like Anzu Nee-san, there was a good chance that among the countless jobs she had on hand there’d be one that was asking for chicken nuggets.

Also, even if there wasn’t one right now, she has the right and power to create that kind of job.

And that was Rinne-kun’s intention from the beginning.

Rinne: You got it. Askin’ for something completely absurd at first and then elicitin’ a compromise from the other side is the fundamentals of scammin’ — uh, I mean, negotiatin’.

We also managed to make her feel guilty about havin’ rejected us “out of her own convenience” this time.

Since Kohaku-chan and Merumeru appealed to her emotions and reason, she was like, “I want to do something for them”, “I have to do something”.

HiMERU: — Yes. She had to do that in order to prove that no unjust treatment or discrimination was taking place at ES.

And because she empathized with our feelings as idols, Oukawa’s included, she had no choice but to help us find another job.

It’s not just that it’s difficult on an emotional level to reject someone else outright…

If she hadn’t paid us some kind of “hush money”, we could’ve leaked the video of Amagi prostrating himself on the web, too.

Niki: Did this guy really prostrate himself again? I’m sure you learned that it’s an effective measure, but it’s really disgraceful, y’know?

Rinne: Oh, shut it. Whose fault do ya think it is that I learned such a move that’s totally unbefitting of a chief in the first place, huh?

Anyway, that’s how Anzu-chan got us this Hot Limit gig in place of the summer festival crowd pullin’ job.

Niki: In other words, it’s a chicken nugget party, huh! So where are they selling ‘em? I’ve gotten sooo hungry~♪

Kohaku: Yer always hungry. It was just a metaphor, this project doesn’t actually have a thing ta do with sellin’ chicken nuggets, a’ight?

Niki: Eh~? How mean! You totally made me get my hopes up…!

Kohaku: You were the one who came up with the chicken nugget metaphor in the first place, y’know.

Rinne: Fufun. Well, I dunno if they sell chicken nuggets specifically, but I prepared a way for ya to sate your hunger here — so don’t worry, Niki.

Ya may not believe me no matter how many times I say this, but everything I do, I do for my beloved Niki! For realsies ♪

Niki: Hm~...? You could lend it at least a little bit of credibility if you said it more seriously, so why do you always have to make it sound like you’re just messing around?

——————

* Main Story spoilers: The Justice Beam is an “attack” Ryuseitai employed against Crazy:B on stage to defeat them.

CW: Domestic Violence Mention, Murder Mention

Location: Hot Limit Stage

- One week later. The abnormal heat wave still continues into the last third of September. On the day of Hot Limit, a project to beat the summer heat -

Rinne: “Gyahahaha! Thanks for coming, dipshits! Didja enjoy your summer to the fullest?!”

“Just one more week to go and then you’ll be forced to marry this pushy guy named autumn or whatever*, who snuggles up to everyone like he’s their friend!”

“But before that! Why don’t you enjoy one last party of this annoying summer with us bunch of nuisances who never do anything but aggressive, unpleasant shit?”

“Then you’ll have no regrets when it’s time to part ways!”

“Fireworks, wind chimes, watermelons, swimsuits! Let’s tightly embrace all these summery things and confirm our love for summer once more! Won’t that be fun!?”

“What’s that? You can’t find it in yourselves to love it after all? You’re sick of this never-ending humidity?”

“Like I give a shit! Save those complaints for some bigwig, like God or the banker who runs this gambling den called Earth: the sun!”

“♪ ~ ♪ ~ ♪”

Niki: Umm~... Sorry to interrupt you when you’re in the middle of rampaging on stage right from the get-go as usual, but what exactly is this?

Weren’t we gonna be crowd pullers for some summer festival?

I mean, the crowd here does seem as hyped as if they were at one, but somehow this still seems wildly different from a normal temple festival…?

Or maybe I just don’t get it because I wasn’t really listening to any of the stuff you guys said about this?

HiMERU: — How about you listen to people when they talk from now on, okay, Shiina? This world is full of traps set by devils to ensnare people who abdictate their right to think for themselves, you know.

Kohaku: Like the fine print in contracts, fer example. Loan sharks in particular like t’employ that old trick.

HiMERU: — Indeed. So don’t just let yourself get carried by the flow, Shiina. Rather, you should record every single injustice Amagi inflicts on you in order to collect evidence of his transgressions.

It’ll serve you well in assembling a criminal case and may become the deciding factor in court once you sue him.

Niki: No, I don’t plan to sue him though…

Kohaku: But why wouldn’t ya? Love? Is it ‘cause of love?

HiMERU: (whispering) Shh, he’s only saying that because Amagi might kill him if he finds out that he’s suing him.

Kohaku: (whispering) Ooh, now I get it. Ya often hear that happenin’ ta victims of domestic violence.

Rinne: What irritatin’ shit are you whisperin’ about behind my back here?

How’s about you guys get in gear and do your jobs already? At this rate Anzu-chan’s never gonna get us another job again, y’know?

Niki: “Anzu-chan”… So this is another project Anzu Nee-san produced?

Rinne: You got it. She’s really got the skills — This event was put together on the fly by her.

Despite that, it turned out great. She prepared outfits, songs, and staff, and now the event looks so well put together that you’d think it’s been in the works for way longer.

I’ll leave the judgment of her work’s quality to the experts, but I can at least say that her speed’s at the top of the industry.

Apparently, performances back at Yumenosaki were often prepared at top speeds within even less than a week, so Anzu-chan’s probably used to it.

We can make use of that “speed”. ‘Course, ya can’t resolve anything and everything in the industry with speed alone, it ain’t that easy, but as long as you’ve got even a single weapon, you can fight.

Gyahaha. Very well, for the time bein’ I’ll acknowledge that you’re a worthy producer, Anzu-chan ♪

Niki: Why’re you talking down to her.

Rinne: Heh. It ain’t about who’s at the top and who’s on the bottom; we’re equal work partners here.

And that’s exactly why it was possible for us to negotiate together, instead of one side only givin’ or receivin’ orders from the other.

Kohaku: Yeah. Niki-han, ya probably don’t know this ‘cause ya had to leave halfway into the briefing session and weren’t even listenin’ fer the part ya actually attended in the first place.

But in the end, we were deemed unfit for that local government’s strait-laced job after all — the crowd pulling fer that summer festival, that is.

HiMERU: Yes. HiMERU already alluded to the reason for this back when the discussion of this job began, so he won’t get into it again.

Niki: Ahh~... Back when you were all talking and you said something about us being the messiahs of evil or whatever, right? My memory of that whole thing was basically wiped from my brain getting all shaken when I was put into a headlock, though.

Rinne: Oh~? So you’re gonna blame your crappy memory on us now, Mr. Middle School Graduate?

Niki: I’m not hearing this from a guy whose academic background is “none”. And anyway, it’s not even about my memory, I just had no interest in the stuff you were saying.

But I see how it is~... I bet HiMERU-kun and Kohaku-chan did their best to ask Nee-san for that job and all, but she didn’t entrust us with it in the end.

Kohaku: Actually, she got pretty close to handin’ us the job for a moment there. Rinne-han started usin’ all kinds of dirty tricks like coercion to get his way, y’see. Even someone like Anzu-han would buckle under that kinda pressure.

But Anzu-han’s mighty impressive. She stayed surprisingly strong in the face of adversity.

She evaluated the qualities an’ circumstances of each of the units that attended the briefing session…

And ultimately decided that entrustin’ that crowdpullin’ job to the Ryuseitai rookies after all would be the best course of action.

———————-

* The “aki” in the name Chiaki is the kanji for “autumn”

CW: Lighthearted Mention of Murder, Death By Hanging Mention

Location: Meeting Room

HiMERU: (But humans aren’t androids. They’ll frequently act contrary to reason.)

(Devoting themselves to other people again and again, despite it leading to nothing but harm to themselves, like that Saint Bastard did*.)

(And that’s exactly why — )

Kohaku: Well, let’s put those triflin’ logical arguments aside fer a moment. Whether you’ll believe us at this point or not, we do wanna work as proper idols.

‘Course, everyone else in this room, includin’ the Ryuseitai folks, likely also got their own reasons fer wantin’ this job.

Otherwise they wouldn’t be participatin’ in this briefing session.

But the same goes fer us. We’re not just heartless insects who were swept here on some breeze or anythin’.

HiMERU: (Sympathy, — )

Kohaku: We also— I also wanna work as a proper idol.

I wanna stand on the same stage as the rest of Crazy:B, who I’ve more or less grown close with an’ who I feel are all facin’ the same direction as me.

That is what I wanna do.

HiMERU: (Emotions, and ardour.)

Kohaku: I’m sure ya know this, Anzu-han — But I work in the shadows as part of Double Face. Still, the shadows can only exist ‘cause there’s light.

If I can’t work on the surface, as part of Crazy:B, an’ do proper idol jobs…

With only the underground ta hold on to, I’ll end up an incomplete, filthy human.

An’ I don’t want that.

HiMERU: (A childish tantrum devoid of logic. And based on that, an entreaty.)

(I’d expect nothing less from you, Oukawa. HiMERU can’t tell if you’re doing this intentionally or if it comes naturally to you — But you’re appealing precisely to her emotions.)

Kohaku: I heard you’ve been supportin’ my partner — Madara-han’s — public face, MaM.

Then it’s unfair if ya don’t treat me the same way.

Folks are gonna accuse ya of playin’ favorites ‘cause Madara-han’s yer childhood friend — part of yer inner circle.

Or am I just disposable fuel to you? Did ya only use me ta make yer precious Madara-han shine even brighter, just ta discard me after?

That’s so heartless of ya.

HiMERU: (Fufu. He’s persistently speaking to her emotions.)

(Anzu-san acquiesced to the activities of Double Face, so you could even say she’s an accomplice who conspired with them — It would’ve been possible to threaten her about that.)

(But Oukawa doesn’t seem willing to do something like that to Anzu-san.)

(Indeed, she didn’t actually dirty her hands — Consequently she’s not impure, not a villain, and so Oukawa won’t resort to violent measures against her.)

(You’re being impartial. No, you probably want to do things correctly.)

(Even if you’ve already become impure to the bone, you still want to live in a way that won’t bring shame to the Lord**.)

Kohaku: ? What’re ya smilin’ fer, HiMERU-han?

HiMERU: Oh, it’s nothing. HiMERU was just thinking that he has always loved adorably pathetic creatures so much that he can hardly bear it ♪

Kohaku: Hmm? What d’ya mean, “adorably pathetic”? Is there some kinda bug in here?

HiMERU: Oh yes. There are indeed four unpleasant insects buzzing around in this room.

— No, wait, it appears we lost one of them.

Rinne: ………..

Kohaku: Huh? Rinne-han, what happened ta Niki-han? Don’t tell me ya actually went an’ hanged the fella?

Rinne: Naaah… That guy got slapped with a summons from the Cinnamon store manager, so he went rushin’ back to the shop.

Kohaku: Aah, I guess Niki-han was kinda in the middle of his shift, huh. He probably got scolded for steppin’ out fer so long.

Rinne: Who knows. From what I overheard of their conversation, there are some developments happenin’ over there that could prove convenient for us...

But Niki’s completely useless when he’s not standin’ on stage or in a kitchen anyway, so I guess him not bein’ here’s no problem.

More importantly, how’d it go? Did ya guys show off our good sides like I told ya to?

HiMERU: That we did. HiMERU explained his reasoning and Oukawa appealed to her emotions. We employed a two-pronged approach and needled her with our stingers from every direction.

After sustaining these stings, Anzu-san went into deep contemplation.

Rinne: Is this a game of shogi to ya? If we keep dawdlin’ around, summer’s gonna be over in a flash. We don’t want people goin’, “isn’t it a lil’ late for a summer festival?”, do we?

Ya leave me no choice. In order ta make Anzu-chan decide quickly, lil’ old me is gonna give her the last push she needs.

— Anzu-chan.

Kohaku: (Wow, Rinne-han looks uncharacteristically serious. He seems mighty dignified when he’s actin’ proper. I just wish he could be like this all the time.)

Rinne: I implore you. This is the request of a lifetime. Please allow us*** to do this job.

Kohaku: (Uwoah? Didn’t think he’d turn this into a head-on fight. He’s really prostratin’ himself before her and pleadin’ without the slightest shame!)

Rinne: No, please make us men…!

HiMERU: HiMERU regrets to repeat Shiina’s words from earlier, but he believes your choice of words is just horrible.

And this may not be something an idol should say, but it sounds like you’re asking her for something entirely different here.

Rinne: Yeah, go on and film me with your phones, you guys, come on!

If Anzu-chan turns down our request, we’ll spread the recording on the internet with a caption sayin’ “Bigshot Producer Mrs. Anzu Forces Newcomer Idol To Prostrate Before Her?!”.

HiMERU: — So we’re back to coercion after all. And it’s just a boring rehash of what happened with Akatsuki, too.

Kohaku: That’s dirty, Rinne-han. Even fer you, that’s real dirty.

Rinne: (Oh shaddap. This was the best course of action this time around, alright?)

(Now that I’ve done this, Anzu-chan can use it as an explanation to the other idols as to why she gave us this job. She can say that she didn’t have a choice, ‘cause I coerced her.)

(Here at ES, we’re complete outcasts, despised by everyone.)

(If word got out that she’s siding with us, people would think “my enemy’s friend is my enemy” — If things went badly for Anzu-chan, she might even lose her position.)

(In order to avoid that kinda situation, I had to prepare some kind of “excuse” for her.)

(Also, I’ll be able to figure out what kinda person Anzu-chan is by seein’ how she responds to my actions here.)

(Whether she’s only well-liked ‘cause she’s a cute, admirable girl — )

(Or if she’s the real thing, someone who deserves the trust put in her by idols.)

(If I had to choose, I’d want her to be the real thing. Pretty badly, too. Otherwise the guys who ate shit at SS are gonna be turnin’ in their graves.)

(And I*** would turn out to be something even lower than an insect, complete trash that died without even puttin’ up a fight...)

(I need you to have won because you were just that strong. Please, I’m beggin’ you.)

————————

* Kazehaya Tatsumi

** Back at it again with お天道さま which crops up periodically with Kohaku. This word can refer both to the sun as a concept, as well as the god who rules over heaven and earth. It is used in Enstars with both meanings depending on the context in which it’s used.

*** Rinne specifically drops his 俺っち (orecchi) pronoun and uses 俺 instead to show that he is being sincere in instances marked with three asterisks.

CW: Lighthearted Murder Threat, Death By Hanging Mention

Location: Meeting Room

Rinne: So, to get back to what I was sayin’... Basically, Ryuseitai tossed out that work offer ‘cause they couldn’t pick it up, so now that unwanted garbage job is bein’ pawned off, yeah?

Niki: Horrible choice of words. Just horrible.

Rinne: This offer was originally handed to Ryuseitai. So, thinkin’ logically, it’d make sense to have the newbies in Ryuseitai take it on.

And if we hadn’t thrown our hats in the ring as last-minute entrants, that’s probably how it would’ve actually played out, yeah?

But too bad! We Crazy:B are the ones who’re gonna gain the upper hand at this auction and win the bid for sure!

Or did ya think that couldn’t possibly happen?

Our honorable Producer-chan who’s revered by everyone is definitely gonna be impartial and hand this job to the idols who’re the most suited for it, right?

I trust ya. No — I need ya to prove to us idols that you’re worthy of our trust.

You’re paradin’ around that arrogant title of “producer”, so ya should be able to do that much, yeah?

Niki: (Uwah, now he’s even starting to coerce Anzu Nee-san!? Is this guy for real!?)

(I thought our endgame here was forging a relationship with her~, what’s he doing, making her hate us?)

Rinne: Well then, I’d say we’re done with the gist of the briefing, so let’s get right into the auction part.

We’re gonna compete and you’ll choose whoever’s best suited to take on this job.

I’m talkin’ to you, Anzu-chan.

That was the plan here, right? After the briefing session, the producer’s gonna choose which idols land the job offer, yeah?

Well, it’s obviously gonna be us anyhow, but let’s do this according to the rules. We couldn’t call somethin’ “ours” if we gained it through illegal means, after all.

So, time to show off what we’ve got. C’mon, Niki, go ahead and prove that we’re the best choice for this job!

Niki: Eh, why me of all people? Hmmm... I don’t really get stuff like this, so can I pass?

Rinne: Yep, that’s what I thought you’d say. Alright, Kohaku-chan and Merumeru, I’m leavin’ this in your hands — I’ve got a Niki to hang to death.

Niki: What th-, was my crime that severe!? Y-you tyrant~!

HiMERU: — Hmm. Now that Amagi has turned the atmosphere as sour as it could possibly be, this should prove quite difficult, but allow HiMERU to lay out his reasoning in a way that is beyond the control of the tension in here.

Anzu-san. As you know, we in Crazy:B have been the focus of considerable public attention, both good and bad.

After terrorizing numerous powerhouse units, people must be interested in and curious about us, a unit that’s kicked up a fuss at ES this summer.

Kohaku: D’ya really think we should call it terrorism? I mean, it definitely was terrorism fer sure, though.

HiMERU: Indeed. So, while HiMERU believes it improper to say this to all of you, who must have certainly been harmed by us: It is a fact that we have already been forgiven.

And thanks to the blood, sweat and tears of CosPro, which we’re affiliated with, society treats us as mere victims who have been manipulated by evildoers.

Regardless of what the truth may be, we are considered completely innocent and blameless citizens, the same as all of you.

However, we are currently being deprived of job offers. Even though we have been adjudicated to have committed no crime at all, we are being unfairly punished.

If by any cause, this truth — this composition — became known to society somehow…

Then ES would be unable to keep escaping the criticism of being a company that glosses over things with lip service while repeating the very same inhumane acts in the shadows.

Kohaku: To put it plainly: Folks would think that the stuff ya say and the stuff ya do is like night an’ day.

Well, that’s just what humans are like, though. An’ countries as well as organizations consist of humans, so of course they’ll have two faces: their true feelings an’ their official stance on things.

Still, the world is surprisingly full of clean-freaks who can’t forgive that kinda inconsistency in others. Funnily enough, we proved just that.

Just look at Ryuseitai, who had misinfo spread that they turned down a job simply ‘cause they’re up to their necks in other work —

They hadn’t actually committed any offense at all, but folks still flamed ‘em online fer not “actin’ like they’re on justice’s side” or whatever.*

Well — I guess it ain’t our place to say this when we incited exactly that kinda type of public consensus in the first place.

It’s rare for anyone to come out all pretty an’ clean in this deplorable world where the slightest thing will stain ya in mud.

HiMERU: Exactly. HiMERU apologizes if this comes off as being defiant — but taking this into account, we believe ES should treat us no differently than they treat any other idols.

In order to prove that no unfair punishment or discrimination is taking place here, that is.

Also, Crazy:B is, impartially speaking, objectively superior to any idol in this room.

Our track record is ample proof of this. With barely any exceptions, every single show we played so far was in front of a sell-out crowd.

( — Well, those were technically the live shows of highly popular units like Akatsuki and UNDEAD, though.)

(In other words, it’s no wonder that the audience seats were full, since the guests had already sat down before we raided the live shows.)

(But all that remains is data that doesn’t take these facts into account, and according to that data — )

(Crazy:B has a track record showcasing outstanding results.)

(And the idols in this room, including the newcomers of Ryuseitai, are all complete novices with no track record to speak of at all.)

(Any producer with economical sense would discard their personal feelings at this point and decide to choose us instead.)

(It’s the reasonable thing to do.)

——————

* Referring to events from !! Main Story

Location: Meeting Room

Rinne: Allow me to summarize for ya, Anzu-chan!

Aah? You idol wannabes sure look like you’re itchin’ to say, “don’t show up late and then act like you’re in charge here”, huh?

Come at me if you’ve got a problem with that, we’re always down for a fight! Gyahahaha ☆

Kohaku: Are you some kinda yakuza, or what? Ya can’t threaten folks so much; laws have gotten mighty strict nowadays. That goes double for the area around ES.

HiMERU: — Indeed. Regardless of what the truth may be, we have supposedly become good people now, having been reformed through MDM. Or at the very least, we have to pretend to be as such.

This being the official stance from the official announcement, anyhow.

Rinne: Eh~? We’re not pretendin’! We’ve really been reborn as good boys, haven’t we?

And to prove it, we’d like to take on this respectable, orthodox idol job. Ya followin’ me so far, Anzu-chan?

This project’s client is the local government, and it’s some square-ass job that involves being crowd pullers for a summer festival.

Originally this job was supposed to go to Ryuseitai, who did it last year and made it a great success.

But Ryuseitai’s kinda breakin’ down right now, and they’re basically dead in the water, yeah?

From what I heard, their agency’s been makin’ a bunch of shitty decisions, causin’ a schism between those guys, right?

Well, I made it sound all serious, but it’s Ryuseitai we’re talkin’ about here. They’re totally gonna resolve it in some super wholesome way anyhow.

Those guys bounced back from our onslaught with smiles on their faces, and they’ve got some surprising potential. They’re a powerhouse unit that really has it together, y’know?

...Oh? You there, ya got something to say to me? Ahh, the crowd over is all Ryuseitai-N members, huh?

Where’d ya leave your oh-so-splendid seniors and the leader of the N squad, Nagumo or whatever his name was?

Oho, I bet they abandoned ya ‘cause you’re a pretty useless bunch, huh? Gyahaha ☆

— Woah there, don’t go losin’ your shit from just a li’l provocation. That red piece of shit, Morisawa or whatever, is gonna weep in his grave, y’know?

…‘Til the bitter end, that guy was never the type to respond to violence with more violence, or to malice with more malice.

Poor Ryuseitai. If their juniors are gonna be like this, they’ve got a dark future ahead of ‘em for sure.

Niki: Dude, why does it feel like you’re picking a fight with them? This kind of attitude is so inappropriate when you’re here to ask for a job, Rinne-kun!

Rinne: Oh, zip it. Just keep your mouth shut, Niki; it’s a~ll goin’ according to plan.

HiMERU: — Hmm. Presumably, this is a trial from Ryuseitai for these nameless newcomers. Or possibly an initiation.

Kohaku: What d’ya mean by that?

HiMERU: Well, this is mere conjecture, but taking into consideration how none of the five best members of Ryuseitai, who’re famous for being overprotective, are present —

It could mean that the newcomers to Ryuseitai are here to practice getting a job on their own, without relying on their seniors.

Kohaku: Ahh, you fellers made me do something like that a while ago too, didn’t ya.*

HiMERU: Yes. Another possibility is that landing a job by themselves is a condition they need to meet in order to make some sort of demand to their seniors.

Or maybe they want to prove their abilities in order to assuage their seniors’ worries.

HiMERU doesn’t know which of these is correct, but, well, he’d wager it’s something in that ballpark.

Rinne: Gyahaha! In that case, too bad! Your plan is gonna be a complete failure!

‘Cause that job you guys’ve set your eyes on is goin’ to none other than us, Crazy:B!

This shit cracks me up, man!

Ryuseitai always talks all big about bein’ “the shooting stars that grant everyone’s wishes”, but they can’t even grant their own! Pffhahahaha ♪

— But, well, that’s just the way the dice roll. As your elder in the idol industry, let this kind Onii-san teach ya a valuable lesson: The industry ain’t as soft as ya think.

Lil’ babies who can’t even stand up an’ walk without the protection of their guardians should just go back home and cry to their mommies and daddies ♪ Gyahahaha!

Niki: Hrrm. The stuff you say is as awful as it is captivating. Just with those words, you managed to draw the ire of everyone in this room except for us.

Rinne: I don’t mind. Other idols can hate me as much as they like, I don’t give a fuck. We’re not best bosom buddies here; we’re business rivals, got it?

All I did was demonstrate this truth to ‘em in an easy-to-understand way, yeah?

If they stepped in here without the resolve to endure bein’ hurt, threatenin’ ‘em into haulin’ ass outta here is what constitutes real kindness!

———————
* Honey Bee Scout Story

Location: Meeting Room

- Back in the present. Shiina Niki is lost in thought as the briefing session goes in one ear and out the other for him -

Niki: (After that — )

(I woke up, enticed by the smell of something tasty. When I opened my eyes, a vast array of food was spread out before me. Naturally, I thought I’d died and gone to Heaven for real.)

(I thought God had witnessed the good deeds I did in the moments before my death and, forgiving my father’s sins, allowed me, his son, into the Heavenly Kingdom.)

(But I was so wrong~... As it turned out, all the ingredients lined up around me were things that Rinne-kun had extorted from residents of my neighborhood.)

(That criminal~! And by the time Rinne-kun explained that part to me, I had already stuffed myself to my heart’s content with those raw ingredients…)

(Of course, I couldn’t exactly barf the food back up at that point, so I had no response for Rinne-kun when he told me “Now you’re my accomplice ♪”.)

(I thought I was gonna be arrested along with him if the truth got out…)

(And I thought that I’d be causing trouble for my father, who was finally on his way to recovery, and my mother, who supported him, if I became a criminal.)

(So, since I thought that Rinne-kun had dirt on me, I couldn’t defy him at all, and little by little…)

(Just as Rinne-kun had wanted, we did a lot of research and ended up trying to become idols together.)

(One thing led to another, and here we are now. Ahh~, in hindsight, picking up Rinne-kun back then really was the crossroads of my fate.)

(I should’ve just ignored him, gone home and ate my nikujaga~.)

(I never should’ve let him in my house, never should’ve made that meal for him and never should’ve decided to let him eat it~.)

(If I’d left Rinne-kun to die back then, it definitely would’ve been to the benefit of all of humanity! That guy really causes nothing but trouble for others!)

(...But then, much later, I was chatting idly with my neighbors when I found out the truth of the matter.)

(Rinne-kun might’ve acted tough and said that he “extorted the food”, but in reality, he prostrated himself and earnestly implored them to share their ingredients with him.)

(Surprisingly, people can’t really turn someone down when they beg in earnest, and there’s kindness to be found everywhere*... Besides, we live in an age of plentiful food, and so everyone shared small portions of their foodstuffs, bit by bit.)

(It was actually such a heartwarming story, and yet…)

(I don’t know if Rinne-kun was trying to act all cool or what, but he’d tricked me by using criminal-sounding words like “extortion”.)

(Rinne-kun probably just wasn’t able to escape the fetters of the education he’d received from a young age, and the habit of conducting himself as a “chief”.)

(He must’ve thought that a chief — that is, a king — may extort people, but would never resort to begging.)

(I’m sure he couldn’t have told me that he knelt down before them and pleaded with them to share their food. It would’ve been way too embarrassing.)

(Even if it was in order to save me — Even if his actions were free of sin, completely harmless and virtuous…)

(He must’ve believed that if he acted unbefitting of a chief, he’d lose the right to be one — No, he must’ve instinctively feared that he’d turn into nothingness the moment he did that. Isn’t that right, Rinne-kun?)

(You’re such an idiot, always putting on airs. Well, I guess that makes me the even bigger dumbass for believing the lies of a dumbass like you.)

(Because I’m an idiot... Back then I was so afraid of the police that I didn’t leave my house in days.)

(Well, Rinne-kun stayed at my place after that, and I guess the time spent playing games he brought over from god-knows-where and all that was a lot of fun.)

(But it’s really a bad habit of mine to get enticed by the fun times and food right before my eyes and neglect thinking about anything all that deeply~.)

(That’s exactly why I always get tricked and used by smarter people.)

(...Well, I guess I’m fine with that, though. As long as I’m useful, I’ll be needed, and I’ll stay well-fed and alive.)

(I won’t complain if I can survive, at the very least. As long as I can eat tasty food every day—)

Rinne: Oi, Niki. Ya listenin’ to the briefing at all? Aah?

Niki: Huh? Of course not, why do you ask?

Rinne: What do you mean, “of course not”, asshole?

Take this seriously, alright? I know you can do it if you try, Niki...♪

Niki: I wonder about this all the time, but really: What do you base this strangely high opinion of me on, Rinne-kun?

Rinne: Your everyday behaviour. Nah, it’s rule of thumb, based on my experiences with ya ♪

Anyway, as I explained earlier, we wanna form a bond with that bigshot producer, Anzu-chan.

And to make that happen, we’ve gotta snag this project no matter what.

Anzu-chan’s a real popular one, so jobs like this don’t usually open up to the common raffle.

She prolly doesn’t have the time for that, and I bet she’s got way more famous idols linin’ up ‘round the block to get produced by her anyhow.

She’s completely booked for the foreseeable future, so newbies like us don’t get their turn.

Which is exactly why this project is our first and final chance.

Take extra care to conduct yourself accordingly, will ya? That goes for you guys too, Kohaku-chan, Merumeru.

Make sure ya appeal to Anzu-chan, ‘cause if we can each leave an impression on her, Crazy:B’s gonna get chosen to carry out this project.

All we gotta do to win is make Anzu-chan want to place her bets on us ♪

——————-

* Faithful readers may recognize this as our old friend, 渡る世間に鬼はない (There are no demons (bad people) in the world). This often comes up in Enstars stories and seems to be one of Kohaku’s favorite sayings, which he brought up in his original idol story when relying on a stranger’s kindness (Anzu), and later decided is actually untrue in Honey Bee Chapter 6. Something tells me we will see this one come up again and again in Crazy:B stories that often revolve around society and its morals, so keep an eye out!

Location: Shiina Residence

Rinne: You—

Eh? What? Who’re you again? What is this place?

Niki: Nahaha, this is where I live~♪

Rinne: And I’m asking who exactly you are, now answer me.

Niki: Ah, my name’s Shiina Niki. I’m a middle schooler.

Rinne: Middle… schooler…?

Niki: Oh, do I not look my age? I’ve really been growing like crazy lately~. The only downside is that my calorie expenditure grows along with my body ♪

You look pretty jacked too, Onii-san! With that kinda body, I bet your calorie expenditure’s real impressive, too! Life’s such a struggle, isn’t it?

Rinne: Ahh... Yeah, life sure is a struggle, generally speakin’.

Niki: I know, right! That’s why we’ve got to help each other out! My mom used to tell me the same thing, that we have to help each other out when someone’s troubled! To sum it up, it’s the food chain!

Rinne: Huh? Uh, sure…?

Niki: Ah, do you want some nikujaga?

Rinne: Nikujaga?

Oh, isn’t that this dish that used to be beef stew…? And then the armed forces prepared it Japanese style and it became nikujaga?

Niki: Nah, apparently that’s just folklore. Onii-san, you don’t seem to know a lot about food~. Are you the type who doesn’t do his own cooking or something?

Rinne: Aah, yeah… At home, our servants are the ones who generally prepare our meals.

Niki: Servants? Eh, Onii-san, are you some kind of rich boy from a good family?

Yesss, that means I can expect a great reward! Which means I’ll make it through the summer…!

Fu fu fu. Here, go ahead, have some of this nikujaga ♪

I’m sorry it’s just yesterday’s leftovers, but I promise it’s tasty! I’ve been trained by my father from a young age, see!

Niki: Here, open wi~de…

I just finished reheating it, so be careful that you don’t burn your tongue. The tongue’s crucial after all.

Rinne: Munch. ...Wow, this is tasty. So that’s what nikujaga tastes like. Good to know.

Niki: Nahaha. The nikujaga I made is à la maison, though~. The foundation of that is making the cheapest possible ingredients taste good.

I’m almost out of seasoning, so the flavor might be a little on the bland side, though.

Rinne: No really, it’s tasty. Thanks. You’re gonna make a great bride one day.

Niki: Yeah, no. I’m not gonna be any kind of bride, good or bad. I’m a guy, y’know?

Rinne: Hmm. So that’s how it works in the city, huh.

More importantly… Why are you doing this? Is this an attempt at charity?

Niki: Huh? Umm~, I don’t really know how to respond to that when you ask me for the reason so deliberately…

Well, there’s no real reason, I guess?

Rinne: What the hell do you mean, no real reason?

Niki: Nahaha. Sorry, I just live for no real reason, so.

To be honest, I can’t really afford to do unnecessary stuff, either.

But if I abandoned someone who’s clearly on the verge of death, I wouldn’t be able to enjoy the taste of my meals afterwards, right?

Rinne: That’s all there is to it, huh.

Niki: That’s all there is to it! Enjoying my meals is suuuper important. To me in particular.

Rinne: Hmm. So that’s what citizens are like. I guess securing food for our subjects is an important duty of ours as well.

Niki: ………

Rinne: Hm? Oi, kid — What’s wrong? Aren’t you looking a bit unsteady on your feet?

Niki: Well~... I knew I was about to run out of energy but still forced myself to move around and talk, and now it looks I’m about to hit my limit.

I’m really so stupid, huh? My priorities are always out of order…

Ah~... I might die.

Rinne: A-are you okay? What am I supposed to do? Is there something I can do for you?

Niki: ………

Rinne: Hey! Can you hear me, uhh — Shiina Niki!?

Niki: Ah… Yeah, Niki-kun’s alright.

Rinne: I’m in such a panic because you don’t seem alright at all!

Niki: Ah~... I’m sorry, and here I meant to live my life in a way that won’t cause too much trouble for other people. Because my dad failed big time at that.

He can’t even eat food normally anymore… But I guess I really am my father’s son. It’s my fate to mess up the same way he did.

Rinne: What’s fate? Are you talking about the path that God or whoever decided for you?

Niki: Yep, that’s the one. Or in other words, the limit of living beings’ abilities.

Nahaha. I’m an unlucky kid who lost the lottery of life, so, y’know, there’s nothing I can do about it. I always had a feeling this day would come sooner or later.

And that day is today, probably. But I feel like I did a good deed at the end of my life, so to me, this was the best end I could hope for.

— Thank you for enjoying my nikujaga.

Rinne: O-oi? Don’t close your eyes! What’s wrong with you, don’t just give up as if you’re okay with this!

Niki: ………

Rinne: (— Guh! What the hell’s going on! I don’t get it, but I can’t let this guy die like this!)

(What kind of village chief would I be if I just let my subject kick the bucket after receiving a favor from him!)

(If this “fate” thing really exists, then as chief, I have to be able to save my subject — Please, God!)

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bakemonoremy

September 2021

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